Chapter 7
Chapter Seven
It didn’t sound hard, but when she arrived at her friends’ table and found it twice as full as she expected, when you added their respective angels, the sheer amount of people was overwhelming. That’s without counting the abundant Silver Threads that filled the entirety of the space.
An insistent tug on her Silver Thread, courtesy of Alderian, forced her to concentrate on her friends and try to act naturally.
Seen like that, the bar looked like a very busy place. The A’aruin seemed to have a good time too, relaxed and discussing their own topics, oblivious to the humans they accompanied. Those surrounding her table looked lively, and greeted Alderian when they saw him arrive.
Of course, she saw her college classmates so frequently that their guardian angels surely saw each other on a regular basis.
“So your human almost had an accident yesterday. Is she okay?” asked Amanda’s A’aruin.
“It was just a scare,” Alderian replied casually.
Augustine was stiff, trying not to look back at him, but listening to every word they were saying. She imagined they were all friends sharing the night and that Alderian wasn’t her A’aruin, but her… her boyfriend? The mere idea made her turn red as a tomato.
She choked on her own saliva and coughed loudly.
“Are you okay, Augustine?” David shouted in her ear. Sitting next to her, he wouldn’t let go of his girlfriend’s hand.
Alderian looked at her intently while she tried to stop coughing.
“Have some of my beer,” Bruno offered while sliding his own glass toward her from the other side of the table.
Augustine received the mug and drank a couple of sips, clearing her throat and calming her breathing.
How embarrassing! She was too aware of Alderian, and what was the point? By tomorrow she wouldn’t even remember him. And he was happy about it.
She returned the mug to Bruno, who at that moment was laughing at something Amanda said, and went to get her own drink at the bar.
Even though it wasn’t her style to get drunk, that night she felt very tempted to do so.
If she were going to forget, then she wanted to start by forgetting that very moment and the contradictory emotions filling her chest.
Stupid Alderian, why did he insist so much that it was better that she forgot him?
She received her beer and drank half the mug in one go. Alderian, suddenly at her side, looked at her with disapproval.
“Don’t look at me,” he said, putting his hand over the glass. “Why are you drinking so much? Take it easy, you haven’t eaten much today.”
“Why do you ask me if I can’t answer you? You yourself said I shouldn’t even look at you,” Augustine said with bitterness, drinking a couple more gulps.
“Do you need anything else?” the girl at the bar asked, confused upon hearing her speak.
Alderian looked at the waitress alarmed and pulled just once on the Silver Thread as a warning.
Immediately, Augustine gave the young woman a smile while shaking her head, pointing to her ear as if she was on the phone through a headset.
The waitress made a gesture of understanding with her hand and walked away.
“Don’t be like that. Are you angry? Have I done something that has bothered you?”
Augustine ignored him just as she was supposed to, even though she knew that being upset with him was unfair. She went back to her seat and joined Bruno and Amanda’s conversation, while David sweetly kissed his girlfriend in some corner of the bar.
A couple more people joined the table and, at some point in the night, Bruno offered her a third mug of beer. She drank from the glass while giving herself to the music, the dim lights, and the easy laughter.
“They opened the dance floor. Want to go?” Bruno invited her, speaking into her ear.
She could smell the alcohol and cigarettes on him and found it stimulating.
She accepted and stood up, smiling. Dizzy, she stumbled. Bruno’s hand firmly held her waist, helping her maintain her balance. Leading her gently, they headed to a corner where some couples were already dancing to the rhythm of a popular song.
Augustine followed the music’s rhythm as she walked in that direction, moving her hips with a natural feline cadence. She let her hair down and stared at Alderian who, leaning on a table at the edge of the floor, didn’t take his eyes off her.
God, what a perfect man. So masculine, elegant, and wild all at the same time.
She wished it was him she was dancing with that night.
Her head was spinning, but she liked that feeling of happy indifference. She danced with slow and sensual movements, feeling beautiful and desired. When she looked at him again, she saw Alderian was smiling seductively.
“You’re gorgeous tonight” Bruno whispered in her ear. Augustine had almost forgotten his presence.
“I’m gorgeous every night, didn’t you know?” she joked, flirting.
Bruno seemed enchanted, and wrapped his arm around her waist to pull her toward him. Augustine felt a clear and definitive tug that made her step back a couple of paces. She turned around furious only to find Alderian’s still-smiling eyes. Tilting his head charmingly, he waved at her with one hand.
Stupid Alderian.
“Would you like us to go somewhere else?” Bruno suggested, pulling her in again and speaking in her ear. “I’ve always wanted to be closer to you, Augustine… it’s not just a one-night thing for me.”
“I think it’s better if I go home.”
Bruno was now holding her with both hands clutched to her hips, and she felt his firm hands caressing her, wanting to touch the skin under her top.
“Let’s go, Augustine,” Alderian said.
His tone brooked no discussion. She felt a delicious sensation upon hearing his voice so close in the middle of her dulled senses.
“I’m leaving, Bruno. I have a handsome man waiting for me at home, and he’ll get very angry if I entertain myself too long with you.”
Bruno was left behind visibly confused while Augustine cheerfully said goodbye to everyone and left the bustle behind.
She walked with dignity, trying to keep her steps straight. Her house was only a few blocks from the bar, so she could get there on foot without too much effort.
Alderian walked along by her side without reproaching her, simply accompanying her. When they were alone at home, Augustine rebuked him, emboldened by the effects of the beer.
“Why do you meddle in my personal life? I have the right to go out and have a good time.”
“Of course you have every right,” Alderian replied calmly.
“If I want to, I can kiss whoever I want, and do more than that too.”
“Of course you can, but you forget I am here to protect you. As a general rule, I don’t interfere if you have a romantic interest, but that’s only if you are self-aware and capable of consenting.
Right now, my sweet and stubborn Augustine, you are quite drunk.
And confused by everything that is happening with us.
Only for that reason do I interfere. If by tomorrow, sober, awake…
and without additional worries, you want to finish what you started with Bruno today…
as far as I’m concerned, it’s just fine. ”
Augustine suddenly felt childish. He didn’t care whether she was with another man, and why should he care?
Although she was dazzled by him, with emotions that even she herself didn’t understand, Alderian was only there because it was his duty. He had no other choice.
She sighed, now without energy, and crossed toward her bedroom, lying down without even taking off her shoes. She regretted letting herself get carried away.
“I’m sorry, Alderian. I’ve been very silly today.”
Alderian lay on his side near her on the bed, propping his head on his hand to get a better look at her.
“Let’s see, let’s see… What’s going on with my precious Augustine? You’re a demanding boss, making me work overtime… You’ve been a sea of emotions tonight and now you’re asking for my forgiveness… what’s wrong?”
“I’m quite confused having you by my side today… it feels so warm and special… so much so that I don’t want to forget you. And it bothers me a lot that you want me to forget you, as if you didn’t care at all.”
Alderian listened to her intently.
“I apologize for having fought with you for no reason. I provoked you intentionally, even though I knew I was being unfair,” she said.
“Don’t apologize... Don’t ask for permission either. Do whatever you want, Augustine.”
She looked at him questioningly.
“If it worries you that you fought with me, you should know that I loved it. It’s been years since I felt this excited. You can scold me all you want and look at me with those enraged eyes, and I will receive it all gladly.”
“Are you a masochist or what?”
Alderian laughed, amused. “You can dance all you want, too. It was an interesting show,” he added with mischief.
Augustine sighed sleepily. “I won’t forget you,” she promised decisively. “Tomorrow I will remember you. Don’t tell me I can’t do it. If I set my mind to something, one way or another, I achieve it.”
“I know your absurd tenacity well.”
Augustine had already closed her eyes. “I also know your adorable persistence well… but, Augustine… What will become of me tomorrow if you don’t keep your promise?”
* * *
It was near eleven in the morning when Augustine woke up feeling a strong headache, courtesy of those three beers from the night before.
Since it was Sunday, she stayed lying on the bed for a good while without any hurry, although she felt uncomfortable having her shoes still on.
She took them off and threw them on the floor, but it was still a few minutes before she could stand up.
She went to the bathroom lazily with her eyes half-closed and turned on the shower faucet. The hot water felt delicious against her skin, so she stayed for a couple of minutes just enjoying the cascade on her body, relaxing.
She needed a coffee to wake up, but she didn’t have any left—not even the instant kind—so she settled for an insipid glass of milk.
She sat in the dining room looking at the landscape beyond the window, where she could see the imposing mountain range, its peaks free of snow at that time of year.
Tying her still-damp hair into a ponytail, she pulled three times on her Silver Thread.
Alderian appeared in front of her, sitting in the chair on the other side of the table. “You remember me,” he said in a low voice, his tone deep and soothing. There was a dangerously intense emotion in his gaze that Augustine didn’t know how to interpret.
She nodded her head.
“Honestly, I thought you had forgotten me… why did it take you so long to call me?” he reproached with an anxiety he couldn’t hide.
“I didn’t take too long, I just got up,” Augustine excused herself softly.
“It felt like an eternity to me,” he admitted, smiling and somewhat embarrassed. “I was afraid to come and discover that you could no longer see me, or remember me.”
“I didn’t know you felt that way. I thought it would disappoint you to know I still remembered you…
and the truth is that I didn’t know how to face you after what happened last night.
” Augustine covered her face with both hands, too embarrassed to face him.
Noticing that Alderian remained silent, she slowly lowered her hands, peeking from between her fingers.
Alderian was smiling with such sweetness that she felt an irrational desire to take a picture of him just to capture that moment. She lowered her hands completely and looked at him with a questioning expression.
“Perhaps you don’t remember well what we talked about yesterday,” Alderian said at last, “but I would like to say it to you again, just in case you still have doubts. First, I want to clarify that I never said I wanted you to forget me. I’m sorry if it sounded like that.
I know I explained many things to you yesterday, but there’s also a lot I didn’t tell you.
I don't want to overwhelm you and, above all, I don’t want to be a problem for you.
The best thing for you would be to forget me—”
“But I—”
Alderian raised his hand, asking her not to interrupt. “I know it’s not what you want—you told me last night, and you promised me you wouldn’t forget me. I didn’t think it was possible, but here you are… contrary to everything I know about the Oblivion, doing things I don’t understand.”
Alderian stood up, walked around the table, and crouched by her side, looking at her from below.
If it were possible, Augustine could have put her hand on his head and stroked his white hair.
She knew it was impossible, but she extended her hand toward him anyway, only to find an image she couldn’t reach.
“I’m here only as a projection because of the Silver Thread that connects me with you and with this dimension. But while you are a human and I am an A’aruin, we will never touch,” he explained.
Augustine slowly lowered her hand, letting it fall onto her lap.
“The second thing I want to tell you is that I am not a masochist.”
Augustine opened her eyes wide, her face flushed as she remembered the conversation they had before sleeping.
“I am not a masochist, but I love that we can fight… and not just fight… but talk, laugh,” Alderian admitted.
“It might sound silly to you, but my years by your side have been very silent. I always talked to you, I advised you, I even told you my problems, but you never answered me… and how could you?”
Augustine held her breath, deeply moved by his confession.
“Last night you were capricious, and even a bit imprudent,” he added, leaving Augustine unsure whether he was flattering or scolding her, “but I want you to be all that with me. I want you to be as capricious as you want to be. Does that make me a masochist?”
“Well, a little… yes,” Augustine responded, laughing. Then she added with some shyness, almost whispering, “Last night… did it bother you, what I did with Bruno?”
Alderian meditated before answering. “What I said last night is also true, Augustine. I’ve seen you have partners and start a family, many times throughout your different lives… and I understand that is what’s normal. I would never stand in the way of your happiness.”
“But now it’s a bit different, isn’t it?”
The angel looked down, reluctant to answer. “It bothered me that he touched you with such confidence,” he admitted finally, “but I didn’t get angry with you. Do you know why?”
Augustine shook her head.
“I know it will sound selfish, but yesterday, at all times… while you were dancing… while you were tossing your hair… at all times, you were looking only at me.”
Augustine blushed so much that she had to look away. How could he say things like that to her without even blinking?