CHAPTER 5 #2
Annabel reached the edge of the sand and gasped as the cool water licked at her toes.
It was mid-spring and it would be another couple of months before the sea reached a comfortable temperature for swimming.
She thought of the magazine article she had read recently on the benefits of wild swimming, which had become quite the thing lately.
A couple of her friends went every weekend and swore by it.
‘So invigorating!’ they always said. She’d thought she was too much of a softie, but maybe she would try it while she was here.
Perhaps it was time to try something new, shake things up a little?
She stepped further in, until she was ankle deep.
There was something strangely satisfying about adjusting to the cool temperature and a sense of achievement came from overcoming the initial fear.
With her face tilted up towards the sun, she closed her eyes and took in a few deep breaths.
The refreshing tang of salt water and seaweed met her nostrils and she breathed it in keenly, enjoying its restorative effects as a sense of calm washed over her.
She thought back to the photographs from last night and the black-and-white image of Noel and his parents in this same spot, almost seventy years ago.
His parents, yes. Without doubt they were his parents.
But were they biologically related? The doctor had planted a seed of doubt that had taken root and sprouted overnight, especially after Annabel had failed to locate any baby photos of her dad.
Dotty’s photo albums were fastidiously organised, with everything clearly labelled and dated; they were a pictorial archive of the Penrose family history.
It seemed incredible to Annabel that Dotty hadn’t catalogued a single baby photo of her beloved son.
Could there be any truth in what the doctor had suggested?
That Noel had been adopted? Stranger things had happened.
One of Annabel’s boarding school friends hadn’t found out until she was in her twenties that she was adopted, but had never suspected a thing as there had never been any reason to.
Would it change anything if it turned out that Noel was not Dotty’s biological son?
Of course not, Annabel thought. Mother and son were so close and so devoted to one another that the simple fact that they did not share DNA would not break their bond, she felt sure of it.
The secrecy of it might be hard to deal with at first, but her grandparents had given Noel such a loving family and happy upbringing that, if they had adopted him, he couldn’t be anything but grateful.
She pictured her dark-haired father with his year-round tan.
Was there any family resemblance to her grandparents?
It was hard to tell. From the photos she had seen, Dotty and her grandfather had both been fairer in their younger years.
And Noel wasn’t as tall or as lean as her grandfather, but no two generations were ever exactly the same, were they?
Annabel paddled along the waterline to the far end of the bay, mulling it all over and wondering what to do.
How could she find out for sure? She didn’t want to bother her dad with her suspicions, there would be no point telling him unless something was confirmed.
Could she ask Dotty? She wondered. Her eye was caught by some pretty shells in the sand.
As a little girl, she had always brought the best ones home for her granny, who had dutifully displayed them in a glass bowl in the porch.
The old memory made her smile and she pocketed a couple of perfectly formed rose-pink scallop shells.
Monty had given up chasing seagulls and was showing his age as he trudged along beside her.
They made their way back across the beach, stopping for Annabel to collect her shoes and socks, then climbed the steps towards home.
As soon as she was near the farmhouse and within range of the phone signal, her mobile started ringing. It was the hospital. Annabel’s stomach lurched.
‘Oh Annabel, thank goodness!’ came a worried voice.
‘I’m glad I’ve finally got you. It’s Sue here, Nurse Sue from the hospital.
I’m sorry to say that your grandmother has taken a turn for the worse.
She’s slipping in and out of consciousness.
Can you come straight down? The doctor doesn’t think she’s got very long, my love. I’m so sorry.’
Tears blinded Annabel as she ended the call. She wiped them away and ran the rest of the way back to the house.
There was a brief moment of fear when Annabel reached the ward and saw that Dotty’s bed was empty.
But Nurse Sue was on hand to tell that she had been moved to a private room and took Annabel to it.
It was the cyst that had caused the decline, the kind nurse explained.
It was pressing on Dotty’s vital organs and making her breathing difficult.
The blinds were closed to keep out the morning sun and it was silent, but for the faint sound of Dotty’s shallow breathing and the reassuring beeping of the monitors.
Propped up on the white hospital pillows, Dotty looked even smaller and thinner than she had the previous day.
Her eyes were closed and her breathing sounded laboured.
‘Hello Dotty, I’m here,’ Annabel said quietly as she sat by the bed and held her granny’s hand. ‘Can you hear me?’
The old lady’s eyes slowly opened and they took a moment to focus.
‘Annabel, my darling,’ she whispered and a smile spread across her pale face.
‘You’re such a good girl.’ Her voice was coming in breathy stops and starts.
‘Always taking care of me. Are you alright? Is everything alright at the house?’
‘Everything’s fine, don’t you worry,’ Annabel soothed.
‘Pam came round this morning, she brought Monty home. I took him down to the beach, you should have seen him chasing those seagulls! He loved it! I had a bit of a paddle, but it was pretty nippy! I don’t know how you managed your daily swims down at Smugglers Cove, the water is freezing! ’
Annabel kept her voice bright and cheerful as she followed Nurse Sue’s advice, chatting about normal, everyday things. Dotty’s eyes closed again, but Annabel could tell that she was still listening.
‘I brought you some daffodils from the garden. I know you always love their scent. Thought they might cheer this place up a bit before we get you home!’ But even as Annabel said it, she knew that the chances of Dotty coming back to Penrose Farm were slipping away.
Dotty’s eyes opened briefly and she gave a small smile as she took in the cheerful yellow blooms that Annabel was showing her.
‘Thank you, darling. I need to tell you something, Annie.’ Her words were coming in breathy gasps now.
Annabel felt sure that she was about to explain what the doctor had alluded to and she was eager to hear it.
But she shut down her curiosity; it felt wrong to expect her grandmother to share anything in her current condition.
‘Shh, don’t worry about anything, Dotty. Everything’s alright.’ Annabel stroked her granny’s hand. The skin was veiny and paper thin, but she smiled as she noticed her nails were still painted pink from her birthday party.
‘But it’s important, Annie. Tell Noel . . . ’ She gave a little gasp and there was a long pause before she continued. Annabel leaned in closer so she could hear her grandmother’s whisper. ‘Tell him I’m sorry. I have loved him so much. And I kept my promise.’
She stopped talking and became very still for a few minutes. Annabel wanted to know more, to ask what promise. But it was too late for that.
‘Look, Arthur is here.’ Dotty’s whisper eventually broke the silence, a faint smile on her lips. She looked so peaceful as she took her final breaths.
‘Goodbye, darling Dotty,’ Annabel managed, holding back the torrent of unshed tears as she kissed her beloved grandmother on the forehead. ‘Go with Grandpa Arthur now.’
Everyone was very kind, especially Sue. Although Dotty’s hospital stay had been short, the nurse had grown fond of the old lady. ‘She was a very special lady,’ she said as she comforted Annabel, tears in her own eyes, ‘not to mention a very brave one at that!’
It was all very efficient; procedures were followed and routines explained, forms were signed and phone calls were made.
Annabel’s heart ached, but with the help of the grainy hospital coffee and some chocolate biscuits that Sue kept ‘for times like these’, she somehow held it together and got through it.
As she left the hospital building later, Annabel reached into her pocket and her fingers met the cold hardness of the pink sea shells. She’d never be able to give them to Dotty now. And with this realisation, the tears began to flow.