CHAPTER 19
Singapore
Dorothy awoke with a start. It was happening again, the tell-tale cramps in her lower abdomen and the accompanying warm stickiness between her legs.
A rising wave of panic swept over her as she stumbled out of bed and rushed to the bathroom.
She looked down at her stained underwear and felt her heart break for the third time.
It was so unfair. So bloody unfair. She gave a gut-wrenching moan and sobbed for her loss.
Ah Ling was by her side in seconds, wiping away the tears as she uttered soothing words of comfort.
But it was no use, Dorothy thought, there was something wrong with her.
It was just over a year since her wedding and this was the third child she had yearned for, and lost. The poor little being that never had a chance to grow, to live, because of her inability to be a mother.
Ah Ling gently led her back to the bedroom. She helped change her underwear and laid towels on the bed beneath her. Once Dorothy was settled, the faithful Ah Ling mopped her face with a cool, damp towel.
‘You stay here, ma’am. I call doctor.’ She paused, then asked, ‘You want call Mr Llewellyn sir?’
That was the last thing Dorothy wanted. She closed her eyes and shook her head, relieved that he had already left early for work.
She couldn’t face the look he had given her the last two times, that mix of disappointment and disdain.
On both those occasions his eyes had asked the silent question ‘What’s wrong with you?
’ And the worst part was that she was starting to ask herself the same question.
Everyone they knew seemed to be popping out babies left, right and centre, so why couldn’t she?
Fresh tears pricked at her eyes and Ah Ling squeezed her hand.
‘Is OK ma’am, Ah Ling here.’ She nodded encouragingly then continued mopping her brow. ‘Everything be OK.’ How Dorothy wished that were true.
Since that night last Christmas, Dorothy had slowly come to a place of acceptance about the state of her relationship.
She now realised that it was a marriage of convenience – of Douglas’s convenience – and she was expected to be terribly British and keep a stiff upper lip for the sake of maintaining appearances.
Douglas loved to keep up the image of the perfect newlyweds, especially in front of her parents who were so infuriatingly enamoured of their handsome, clever son-in-law.
Even if she had wanted to complain, they could see nothing for her to complain about; everything looked perfect from the outside.
But the reality was quite different. These days, Douglas barely bothered to conceal from her his visits to his mistress; it was an open, unspoken secret between them.
At the start of the year, he would come home from the club in the early hours steaming drunk and demand his conjugal rites from his wife.
But those drunken sessions ceased after Ah Ling discreetly organised a new door lock to help keep her mistress safe.
On other nights, Douglas would come home exhausted from his training with the Straits Settlements Volunteer Force with whom he had recently enlisted.
And some nights he wouldn’t come home at all.
Silently, Dorothy had resolved to make the best of her lot, for, as her mother regularly reminded her, it simply didn’t do to complain.
So she kept busy instead, tried to keep her head down and keep the peace with Douglas.
There were brief moments of optimism when she felt hopeful that things could change between them.
He would give her a kind word, a gentle touch or a compliment on how nicely she kept their home.
Those fleeting moments were bittersweet, for it showed her that the man she had fallen in love with was still there, but it broke her heart that she was not – and never had been – his first priority.
The only trump card that Dorothy held was Douglas longed to start a family.
Dorothy felt sure that things would be different once she gave him the son he yearned for, that he would love and appreciate her and finally give up his mistress.
But with every failed pregnancy, that hope slipped further out of reach.
It was a tense time in Singapore, as talk turned increasingly to war.
The fighting in Europe raged on and London was only just catching its breath after eight long months of bombing.
British morale was at an all-time low and Dorothy wept as she read Daisy’s letters.
Their lives in London were full of sirens, air-raid shelters, bombing raids and worlds torn apart by the German Luftwaffe.
Every night, she prayed for Daisy and her family and for the safety of her brother Thomas, who was now serving with the Royal Army Medical Corps.
The last they had heard, he was heading off to North Africa, but his last letter had arrived several weeks ago.
‘But we’re still safe here, aren’t we?’ Dorothy asked her father as the pair of them dined together at the family home one Sunday.
She gazed out at the lush, green lawns and the palm trees gently waving in the soft afternoon breeze, and found it impossible to imagine the horrors of war coming to this peaceful island.
‘Yes, absolutely; of course we’re safe.’ Anthony Templeton nodded determinedly.
‘But tensions are rising between Japan and the West,’ he explained.
‘Put simply, they want to expand their empire and we’re rather in the way.
’ He gave a wry smile and took a sip of his Claret.
‘Strategically, they would love to get their hands on Singapore; it’s in a prime location to transport troops and supplies.
And they would love to get their greedy mitts on the area’s natural resources. ’
‘Like we Brits did first, with our “greedy mitts”, you mean?’ Dorothy raised her eyebrows ironically at her father.
‘Ha! Yes, you’ve got me there!’ Anthony chuckled.
‘It’s the rubber they want, isn’t it?’ Dorothy asked. ‘Douglas is always saying how important it is to the war effort.’
‘Yes, exactly. Let’s face it, that’s why we were sent out here in the first place – McKinley’s knew that rubber would be the hot commodity during the war, hence my promotion to come out and expand the business.
But the Japs will want the oil and tin as well.
They’ll need us Brits out of the way in order to get them, but it just isn’t going to happen.
I saw Shenton Thomas at the club the other night, “impregnable fortress” was the phrase he used for Singapore.
So the Japs can huff and puff as much as they like; they won’t blow our house down!
’ He chuckled at his joke. ‘And don’t worry about Douglas, darling, he’ll be absolutely fine.
I know they’re training as if they’re actually going to war, but it’s highly unlikely that he’ll end up in harm’s way. ’
Dorothy forced a smile and concentrated on her roast chicken.
Despite the hero-worship to which he felt his new role entitled him, her husband had been a reluctant volunteer.
He’d put it off for months, insisting that he would be far more useful to the war effort if he could concentrate all his efforts on the business.
The demand for rubber was rocketing and McKinley’s were struggling to keep up with their orders.
However, Dorothy had learned early on that keeping up appearances was important to her husband; he had to be seen to be doing the right thing.
So, finally, as many of his colleagues and friends had done before him, Douglas had volunteered.
The servants came in and cleared the plates, then brought the dessert.
It was pineapple flan, Dorothy’s favourite, but she had too much on her mind to enjoy it.
She cleared her throat and tried to keep her voice light.
‘I do hope I can pop up and see Mummy before I go. She was asleep when I arrived. What did the doctor say?’
Anthony Templeton’s face turned serious and he laid down his spoon on the table.
‘She’s been asleep most of the day, she’s just exhausted all the time.
’ He shook his head sadly. ‘She’s hardly eating anything.
The doctor did some tests and prescribed total bed rest. We should get the results this week.
’ He sighed. ‘I hope to God that she’s alright.
I don’t know what I’d do if . . . ’ Anthony’s eyes brimmed with unshed tears as his voice broke off.
‘She’s going to be absolutely fine!’ Dorothy interrupted, smiling bravely at her father.
She reached across the table to squeeze his hand.
‘She’s been working so hard lately with all her Red Cross fundraising and it’s been so awfully hot!
I’m sure it’s probably just a combination of the two, it’s not surprising that she needs a good rest. Don’t worry, Daddy.
’ The tables had turned and now it was her turn to be the reassuring one. ‘Everything will be alright.’
They ate in companionable silence for a few minutes. The only sound was the whirr of the ceiling fan above them, slowly moving the warm air around the dining room. Occasionally, a soft breeze made its way in through the open window and Dorothy enjoyed the cooling sensation against her skin.
‘Going back to the Japs,’ she pondered aloud as she stirred sugar into the cup of coffee that the servant had poured for her.
‘You’re absolutely sure there’s no way they can invade?
’ Dorothy’s brow creased. She thought back to the newspaper articles she’d read about Japan’s invasion of China and of Daisy’s war-filled letters.
Her friend’s tales of the London Blitz had made her blood run cold.
‘Oh, they might try.’ Her father chuckled. ‘I wouldn’t put it past them, that Hirohito is a sly old fox! But Singapore is a stronghold; we’re untouchable here. Don’t you worry, darling, you’ll see!’