CHAPTER 25
Singapore
Annabel was so engrossed in her grandmother’s story that she didn’t hear James come into the room.
‘How are you getting on?’ he stage whispered, setting down a tray on the table in front of her.
Annabel started, as if woken from a trance. ‘Gosh, sorry, I was miles away!’ She put the papers down on the table, careful to keep them in the right order. ‘Oh lovely, thanks,’ she added as James poured her a glass of chilled white wine.
‘No problem.’ He smiled. He poured his own glass, took a handful of crisps from the plate on the tray and settled in the armchair opposite. ‘So, what have you found out so far?’
‘It’s quite a story,’ she sighed. She took a long sip of wine. ‘You’re not going to believe it, but Dotty was a POW! Her evacuation ship was bombed by the Japanese and she ended up in Changi Jail.’
James stared at her, his mouth dropping open in surprise. ‘And she never said anything about it? Wow, that is quite a turn-up for the books!’
‘But that’s not all. She wasn’t on her own in there.’ Annabel paused and reached forward for some crisps.
James gave a snort. ‘Well no, of course she wasn’t – that place was absolutely packed to the rafters! Totally overcrowded and completely unsanitary. Hundreds died, you know. It’s a wonder that your grandmother made it out alive!’
‘Yes, I know,’ Annabel agreed, then took another sip of wine. ‘But what I meant was she had company. James, she had a baby in there with her.’
He raised his eyebrows at this. ‘A baby? Whose baby? I thought you said she couldn’t have children?’
Annabel took a deep breath to steady herself.
‘Well, brace yourself. It turns out that the baby was my father, Noel,’ she said.
Hearing it out loud brought the harsh reality sharply into focus.
‘And there’s more.’ She gave a sad smile.
‘My father wasn’t Dotty’s son. He was the illegitimate son of Douglas Llewellyn and his mistress, an Italian woman called Maria Pemberton, née da Costa. ’
James’s mouth formed a perfect O and he was momentarily shocked into silence. Then, seeing the tears in her eyes, he came over and sat next to her, putting a comforting arm around her shoulders. Instinctively, Annabel leaned in against him.
James blew out hard. ‘Well, that’s a lot to take in! How are you feeling?’
She sniffed and was grateful when James handed her a tissue from a box on the table.
‘Well, I suppose I’d already started having pretty strong suspicions that Dad wasn’t Dotty’s biological son.
But to have it confirmed like this . . .
’ She sniffed. ‘To be honest, I don’t know how I’m feeling.
I was always so close to Dotty. To think that she wasn’t really my grandmother, well .
. . ’ Her words trailed as the tears began to stream down her cheeks.
She dabbed the soggy tissue at her eyes.
‘Sorry . . . Everything just seems a bit topsy-turvy at the moment,’ she managed, in between sobs.
James wrapped his arms around her and held her close.
‘Shh, there now,’ he soothed, stroking her back.
‘Dotty was your grandmother, even if not biologically, there’s no question about that.
This really doesn’t change anything, you know.
And you might not have inherited her genes, but you certainly inherited her character and her strength.
The way you’ve picked yourself up after everything that’s happened recently and come halfway across the world to do this.
Honestly, you’re pretty amazing, Annabel. ’
She gave a watery smile and looked up at him. There was such intensity in his dark brown eyes. She was suddenly aware of his body, up close against hers, warm and firm. She breathed in his cologne and her pulse quickened.
‘I know everything feels hard right now,’ he continued, gently wiping the tears from her cheek. ‘You’re still grieving, but you will get through this. If Dotty’s tale is anything to go by, it’s clear that you Penrose ladies are made of strong stuff!’
He smiled down at her, his hand still caressing her face.
Overcome with emotion and a sudden, urgent longing, she reached up and touched his cheek.
Their eyes locked and, after a brief nod of encouragement from Annabel, his lips were on hers.
Gently at first, then with increasing intensity, as he explored her.
She wrapped her arms tightly around him and melted against him, savouring every sensation.
He tasted of wine and minty freshness and, wrapped in his strong arms, she felt safe.
After a few minutes, Annabel pulled him down so they were lying together on the sofa. He nuzzled her neck and she chuckled softly. ‘Who would have thought it, all those years ago, back at uni?’
James paused and looked at her. ‘What do you mean?’
‘Well, us . . . being like this. You barely had the time of day for me back then; I was sure that you hated me!’ She laughed.
James turned serious and Annabel worried that she had clumsily killed the mood that she’d been so enjoying. He looked her straight in the eye.
‘Hated you? You’re kidding, right? Don’t tell me you didn’t know?’
‘Know what?’ Annabel propped herself up on an elbow, her brow furrowing. James mirrored her position, so they were now facing each other.
‘The reason I couldn’t talk to you. The reason I turned into such an absolute mess whenever you were around?’ He screwed up his eyes. ‘You must have been able to see it?’
Annabel shook her head. ‘See what? You were so standoffish whenever I tried to talk to you,’ she said with a shrug, ‘I just assumed you didn’t like me!’
James groaned and buried his face in his hands. Then he looked at her again. Annabel saw that his colour was up, he seemed uncomfortable. He moved away from her and sat on the edge of the sofa.
‘You turned me into a bag of nerves, Annabel! You were so beautiful and so damn cool! From the moment I first saw you in the quad at Trinity during Freshers’ Week, I was well and truly smitten.
Head over the proverbial heels.’ He sighed as Annabel’s eyes grew wide in surprise.
‘For the first two years I tried to work up the courage to ask you out. But I gave up on the idea when I overheard you talking with your oh-so-cool mates at the Valentine’s Ball in the second year.
If I remember correctly, that Hugo Sotheby-Waugh was holding court with you and a few of his other female friends.
He was working his way round all the guys in our corridor, asking how interested you were in dating them.
What was it you said to him when he asked about me?
You could never date someone who “swam like a fish and had the personality to match,” I think that was it. ’
Annabel closed her eyes and cringed as she remembered that drunken night, so many years ago.
She felt ashamed that she had cared so much about impressing the ‘cool’ gang with her witty, snide comments.
That wasn’t who she was. Dating Hugo had been a big mistake and she had soon come to her senses. But it seemed the damage had been done.
‘Oh James,’ she whispered.
He cleared his throat awkwardly. ‘Well, there we go. Nothing to worry about, it’s no big deal.’ He shrugged. ‘It’s all in the past. Ancient history!’ He tried to force a smile but she wasn’t convinced.
‘Anyway, are you hungry? I could make us something to eat?’ His tone was overly bright and he seemed keen to change the subject. He started to get up, but Annabel put her hand on his thigh to stop him.
‘Don’t go, James.’ She pushed herself up and sat next to him.
Then she reached out and touched his cheek.
‘I had no idea,’ she whispered. ‘I’m sorry.
I was a bitch around that time, I wasn’t myself.
Call it a serious lapse in judgement, but I was desperately trying to impress the wrong people. I’m not proud of it.’
Hesitantly, she leaned in against him and rested her head against his chest. Relief flowed through her when she felt his arm move around her shoulders.
She looked up at him and whispered, ‘I’m so sorry.
’ She smiled coyly. ‘I had no idea that you liked me. But I’m quite glad that you did. And hope that maybe you still do?’
James bent down and gently touched his lips against hers. She held the back of his neck and pulled him closer. Between kisses she murmured, ‘I’m not missing out a second time around. We’ve got a bit of catching up to do, don’t you think?’
He pulled back and gave her a questioning look. ‘Are you sure?’
She nodded her reply with a smile, then kissed him deeply, her hands in his hair while he stroked her neck.
His fingers were gentle but decisive as they made their way along her collar bone then down her chest. Carefully, he undid the first couple of buttons on her top.
Every touch made her tingle with pleasure and she moaned when, at last, his hand slipped under the fabric and caressed her breasts.
At that moment, James’s phone started buzzing.
He pulled away with an apologetic smile and checked the screen.
‘Ugh, lousy timing! I’m so sorry, do you mind if I take this?
It’s Jessica.’ He checked his watch. ‘I promised to speak to her before school, she’ll be heading off shortly. I’ll keep it brief.’
Annabel smiled and nodded, and was surprised that James stayed on the sofa to take the call.
She discreetly edged further away from him, ran a hand through her hair and quickly did up the buttons on her top.
James clicked the ‘answer’ button on his phone and Jessica appeared, dressed in her blue gingham school dress.
‘Hi, Pumpkin! How are you today?’ he began, a smile lighting up his face.
‘Hi, Daddy.’ The little girl beamed back with a gap-toothed smile. ‘Look!’ She pointed to the missing front tooth. ‘It came out!’
James laughed, a happy, carefree laugh that made Annabel smile. It was lovely to see this relaxed side of him.
‘Well that’s great news, congratulations!’ He chuckled. ‘Did the Tooth Fairy come?’
Jessica nodded and excitedly told him that she had earned two whole pounds for her tooth, which was double what she’d got last time.
Annabel reached forward for the crisps on the coffee table, but her efforts to be discreet were in vain and, before she knew it, she’d knocked over her wine glass. The sound was clearly audible on the other end of the call.
‘What’s that noise, Daddy?’ The little girl’s forehead creased. ‘Is there someone there?’
‘Um, well, yes actually.’ Suddenly put on the spot, James’s tone became awkward as he passed Annabel the box of tissues to mop up the spillage. ‘My friend Annabel came round to visit.’
‘Annabel? Who’s that?’ Jessica looked confused.
‘Just my friend. She’s visiting Singapore because her granny used to live here a long time ago, during the Second World War.
Amazing, hey? Annabel wants to find out more about her granny’s time here and I’m helping her.
It’s very interesting actually, and you know how much I love history!
’ James chuckled. He was gabbling now and Annabel could feel the awkwardness of the moment. Jessica did not seem impressed.
‘Anyway,’ he continued, changing the topic, ‘how’s everything going at your new school? Have you made some nice friends?’
But Jessica wasn’t interested in talking anymore.
Annabel could detect the signs of jealousy and betrayal.
The little girl couldn’t hide her upset that her father was spending time with a female that wasn’t her or her mum.
With a face like thunder, she said that she had to go.
Seconds later, ignoring her dad’s protestations, she ended the call.
James looked crestfallen. He put his phone on the table and, with his elbows on his knees, dropped his head into his hands. He looked defeated. ‘I can’t seem to get anything right.’
Annabel sighed. ‘I’m so sorry,’ she began.
He shook his head. ‘It wasn’t your fault. Jess has really struggled with the separation and it’s hardly surprising, really. Her seemingly perfect, happy life has been turned completely upside down.’ He sighed.
‘It’ll get easier, just give it time. Kids are resilient, she’ll bounce back, I’m sure.’ Annabel reached out to touch his back but he edged slightly away and didn’t respond.
‘Maybe I’ll make a move,’ she said quietly.
‘And you could try calling back?’ She glanced at her watch.
‘Emma will be home soon, I can read the rest of this at her place.’ She nodded to the stack of papers from the coffee table and got to her feet.
Something sank inside her when James did not protest.
‘OK, sure,’ he said, getting up from the sofa. ‘Sorry, I don’t think I’ll be much company now. I need some time on my own. Shall I book you a cab?’
Annabel demurred and, feeling awkward, made a swift exit. She made her way out to the bus stop and used the transport app that Emma had recommended. Three minutes later, the right bus pulled up. She was glad to get out of the late afternoon sun and into the coolness of the air-conditioned bus.
What had she been thinking? Annabel sighed as she settled into a vacant seat.
There was a chemistry between them and after a couple of glasses of wine she had let herself get carried away.
But neither of them was in any position to be rushing into something new.
They weren’t at university now, all footloose and fancy free; she was still getting over a break-up and James had his ex-wife and daughter to consider.
It was all just too complicated. She wished she could turn the clock back and start things all over again.
But for now, she just wanted to get safely back to Emma’s and read the rest of her grandmother’s story.