Chapter 15
Chapter Fifteen
AVERY
I can’t control all the forces keeping Josh and me from escaping for a weekend alone, so I may as well focus on the positives from the past week, such as: Theo pooped in the potty for the first time, I got an adorable photo of me and Mabel and an internet famous sheep, and on the way back from the farm, Josh and I finally talked frankly about children’s programming at CPR.
The discussion wasn’t as horrible as I’d thought it would be, but the statistics are pretty depressing. He says he’s doing his best to save Playgroup because he gets its value, but we have to think about what’s best for all in Climax, not just a handful of families.
If I weren’t so sexually frustrated, I’d be happy right now. Josh and I have snuck in a couple of make out sessions, each of which left me wanting more. They say that’s a good thing, but I’m having a hard time finding the good in deprivation. Especially now that I know I’m disease-free and don’t even have to worry about birth control.
Which brings up a tricky question. Do I tell Josh that I can’t have kids, at least without expensive interventions? What if he wants to have more? He’s such a great dad, I’d hate to deprive him of that possibility. Fresh anger at the healthcare system that has left me with a broken womb, my mom with a disease that no one understands, and my dad with pain that doctors can’t manage has me groaning so loudly that I almost miss the chime from my phone.
Eager for distraction, I snatch it up.
Josh
Kids in bed. Wish I was in bed with you
Me
Same, dude.
Josh
I’m sorry my life is so complicated
Me
You’re not alone
Josh
Are you alone?
Me
Of course!
Josh
Just wasn’t sure if you were in bed or what
Me
I’m in bed
All alone
The three dots appear and disappear several times. I’m staring at them, face hot, wondering if that was too much of a hint or if I should say more, when the photo I took of Josh smirking at me over a plate of pasta flashes on the screen. Fumbling to swipe and accept his call, I accidentally hit speaker.
“Hi,” I whisper. “Um, you’re on speaker.”
“I thought you were alone,” he says, his voice so low and growly that my deprived Pandora’s box clenches, jonesing for a special someone to surround.
“I am,” I say, the heat of a blush spreading from my cheeks to my chest. “It’s just, I mean, I don’t know. I’m in my childhood bedroom. I feel like I’m going to get in trouble for talking to a boy late at night. In fact, I’m going to put in my earbuds. Hang on.”
After I do so and tell him that I’m back, he asks, “Did teenage Avery talk to boys late at night?”
I snort. “Only about homework. Teenage Avery was very nerdy. She didn’t, um, find herself until college.”
“Oh yeah? What did she find?”
“That she liked sex.”
“I’d like to hear exactly what she liked. Likes. Can you tell me?”
Without direction, my free hand slides inside my sleep shorts. “Are we having phone sex?”
“Do you want to?”
“I never have, but… yeah, I think so.” A nervous giggle pops out of me. “What do we do?”
“I’ve never tried it either, so don’t laugh if I ask a cheesy question.”
“Like?”
“What are you wearing?”
“Do you want the truth?”
“Of course.”
“Sleep shorts and a tank top.”
“Tell me more about them. So I can picture you.” His voice has dropped, in pitch and volume. I hear rustling, like he’s moving around.
A little shiver goes through me, and my heart drops. Like waaay south. “Well, they’re not very fancy. But they’re super soft. Black, stretchy, cottony things.”
“Are they loose or tight?”
“Um, the top is tight. I like to feel like my boobs are contained, I guess. But the bottoms are pretty loose.”
“So if I was there, I’d have a hard time slipping my hand inside the top, but not the bottoms?”
Another shudder rolls down my torso, obliterating all worries about work-life Josh because personal-life Josh is… So. Dang. Hawt. “Yep,” I answer, my voice reedy. “That’s correct.”
“Hmm. Where should we start?”
“I guess that depends.”
“On what?”
“Are you a boob man? A butt man? A leg man? Or…”
“I appreciate the entire package, actually. But I think I’d start by exploring the gap between the bottoms and the top.”
I’m glad he can’t see my grimace. “Ugh.”
“That doesn’t do it for you?”
“It’s just, I don’t exactly have a six-pack.”
He snorts. “Neither do I. Overrated, if you ask me. Besides, I’m imagining how soft that skin is. How it would feel if I ran my palm over your belly.”
“It’s soft all right.”
“Can you do it? Tell me what you feel? What you see?”
I set the phone on the pillow next to me, push down the covers, and pull up my shirt. As my fingers trace the noticeable scars near my belly button, I realize I might have to tell Josh about the salpingectomy before we get naked in person. Pushing that to the side for the moment, I sit up on my elbows. “Um, my skin’s pretty pale. I burn easily, so I avoid the sun as much as possible.”
“Which makes it even softer, I bet.”
“It is soft. The skin is very soft, and—” Self-consciousness about my pear shape fades as I lie back and imagine Josh exploring my torso. “I can just feel the tiny hairs under my fingers.”
“And if you move your hand farther down? What’s the hair like?”
I can’t help but snort. “Well, the curtains don’t exactly match the drapes.”
He laughs. “I never knew exactly what that meant, but I think I get the idea. You’re saying the carpet isn’t honey gold and straight? Or is it the curtains?”
“The ones the world doesn’t see are short and curly and light brown.”
“And if I ran my fingers through it and dipped in between the curls to your folds, would you be wet right now?”
“I…” My mouth is suddenly dry, like all the moisture inside fled south. “Don’t know.”
“Will you check for me?”
His voice holds the perfect blend of dare and curiosity, and I’m completely in its thrall as his questions shift to requests and then to commands. My eyes close as the fingers of my right hand circle. As he tells me how hard he is for me, how he’s pumping his length, wishing he was inside me, I can almost feel his weight and warmth on top of me. My fingers rub harder, and my hips lift off the bed, demanding more.
His breath is labored as he urges me on. “Yes,” he moans. “I want to hear you come, Avery. Will you come for me?”
My answer is lost in gasps and a keening whine as a climax rocks me hard. Aftershocks continue to pulse beneath my hand as he releases a guttural moan followed by a low laugh.
And then I’m laughing too. My hand still tucked between my legs, I curl into a ball to face the phone next to me, giggling.
Several minutes later, we both seem to settle, and I let out a sigh. “Wow.”
“Yeah?”
“Now I can’t wait to do that IRL.”
At this point, I’d settle for just seeing Josh IRL. First, he was out of town for work. When he returned, the only times he was free, I either had a CPR event or one of my parents needed me.
Phone sex has been kind of fun, liberating even, but it’s getting to the point where my Petunia is aching to be filled with his Richard. I assigned “Bed Chem” as his ringtone, and I’m definitely manifesting every time he calls. Even a text notification from him has me crossing my legs and grabbing my phone like a teenager.
Josh
Just found out that my parents will be home the first two full weekends in Oct
Me
I’ll check with my sibs
Crossing my fingers, I type a message into the group chat my brother, sister, and I use to keep in touch. I’ve already broached the idea of me needing a break from full-time parent care, so I’m hoping one of them can step up.
Me
Remember when I talked about trying to leave town for a weekend? Anybody available to stay with Mom and Dad 10-5 or 10-12 weekend?
My siblings are busy people, and they say watched pots don’t boil, so I make myself leave my phone in my room and go down to the kitchen to clear out my parents’ email and pay bills. By the time I’m balancing the checkbook, a bowl of ice cream is required. But I get it done, and then, hoping to find a reward, I jog back to my room.
Unbelievably, my brother and sister have had a full-on conversation in my absence. Turns out my sister Carol and her wife are available one of the weekends I suggested. My brother even adds his regrets.
Switching over to the text thread with Josh, I give him the dates and hope he’s still free.
Josh
Perfect! I’m putting it in the family calendar *in pen* rn, and I’ll book a place tomorrow.
Me
Can’t wait
Josh
Let me know if you have any requests
Me
For the whoopee making?
Josh
For the hotel
Me
I’ll shut up now
Josh
Me
XXOO
night
Josh
Sweet dreams
If there’s one thing I’m sure of, my dreams are not going to be anywhere near as sweet as my words.