10. Miles
MILES
I kept reminding myself that this wasn't a date.
He didn't ask me out with romantic intentions.
He said we could have dinner and he could explain about Rudy.
It really wasn't my business what the older man’s role in their lives had been, but I wasn't about to turn Stellan down because despite our first meeting where he ran away from me and the way I made a complete and utter fool of myself on our second, I had fun getting together with him on the cat playdate.
It was awkward at first, at least for me, but after a while, I felt I could let a little of myself out. I enjoyed the afternoon nearly as much as Marmalade did. My little fur baby had been living her best life getting all the attention she could ever want and tons of treats.
It caught me off guard that when they left, I found myself missing Stellan. You shouldn't miss someone you barely knew. He was my neighbor. That was that.
And tonight, we were having dinner with food and a specific conversation. Nothing more.
It didn't matter how hot he was, or how much I thought about his lips and what they would feel like against mine.
My brain wandering to places it shouldn't go didn't suddenly turn a friendly dinner into a date.
Did that stop me from changing my shirt four times or rinsing my hair and styling it again?
No. But I needed to not set my expectations too high.
If I did, I was going to come out of the other side of this hurt and would have no one to blame but myself.
I was ready over an hour before it was time to leave. I told myself that was better than being late. That didn’t make the wait easier. Sitting around made the clock all but stop.
Operation distract myself, it was. I vacuumed, fluffed my pillows, ran a load of laundry, and fed Marmalade too many treats. I explained my itinerary for the night to her. One great thing about her was that she pretended to listen to me most of the time.
Finally, the timer on my watch went off.
It was time to go. I opened the door to head upstairs, only to see Stellan standing there, his hand ready to knock.
He looked freaking incredible. I wanted to pull him inside and offer to cook him dinner…
and possibly give him more than a meal. I immediately pushed that impulse down.
This was friends going to dinner. No, not even friends.
This was neighbors going to discuss Rudy, for a reason I still didn't understand.
“Are you ready?” He smiled, and that smile melted away some of my nerves.
I could do this. I could just be a normal guy going out with a neighbor. I didn't have to make this weird.
“Yeah. Where were you thinking?” I stepped out and shut the door behind me, reminding Marmalade to be good as I did.
“There's a nice place a few blocks from here. I figured we could walk. Easier than figuring out cars and parking.”
“Works for me.”
The restaurant was one I hadn't known about yet.
It was in the opposite direction I usually ventured.
I enjoyed exploring the new-to-me area of town.
You saw things differently when walking.
Stellan was a great guide, pointing out different places I might be interested in, from a convenience store that had the best donuts to a dry cleaner that, on Tuesdays, had a same-day service that was cheapest in the city.
I didn't wear a suit often, but I filed that away as something useful for the times I did.
The conversation flowed pretty easily. A few times, Moonridge Place came up, but mostly in the context of location.
“Going north, half a mile from Moonridge Place,” etc.
Not the kind of things I wanted to know, like how long people had lived there, and if there'd be a time when I would feel like I was part of the group and not just someone who everyone was fine being there.
“Here it is.”
We stopped in front of a Greek restaurant, one I might have missed if I’d driven past it because the sign was old and faded.
“It’s third generation, and the food is amazing.”
I inhaled deeply. “It smells fabulous.”
We went inside, found a small table with mismatched chairs, and picked up the menus. I was so distracted that by the time the waitress came to see what we wanted, I just said I'd have the three-course special.
“Shall we bring something back for Indigo?” I asked.
“Oh, she’s getting baklava. They make her favorite here.”
“I’ll have to try some too.”
Something about me asking that question changed the atmosphere of the conversation.
It hadn't been forced before, but now it was much freer.
My favorite part was when he talked about his woodworking.
You could see how much he loved it, and I couldn't wait to see all the things that he created by hand.
“I’m not good at things like that,” I admitted. “But merging spreadsheets, finding files people lost because they made a stupid mistake—I'm your guy.” It was hardly the same thing, but we all had our strengths.
“Is that what you've always done?”
“Pretty much. But at my old job, they expected me to do the work of multiple people with no chance of moving up, and I was ready for a change.”
“Do you like it here?”
That was a loaded question.
“Yeah, it's taking a lot to get used to. Learning a new city isn't easy, and making friends at work always takes time, especially when you decide to drink unlimited margaritas.” I was no longer ignoring that night. Making light of it felt better than shoving it into a dark corner, and it wasn’t as if he didn’t know already.
“Is that how that happened?” He chuckled.
“Their office culture includes people topping off everybody’s drink when they pour from the pitcher for themselves, and I didn’t notice it until it was too late. Not my best move.”
“Nah, it wasn't. But it led to us here.”
“Yeah, it did.”
Every now and then, the conversation drifted back toward Rudy, and I would say, “Oh, well, is this what you wanted to talk about?” And he'd instantly move us in another direction.
I noticed, but I didn't try to steer us back.
Whatever it was he wanted to share with me sounded important and also personal.
He'd tell me when he was ready. Or maybe not.
In the back of my mind, I suspected it had something to do with Indigo's birth father possibly being related to Rudy. Fair to say I was influenced by reading too many Wattpad stories where there were secret relatives in every corner.
Our conversation never had a lull, and it wasn't until our server apologized, but they were closing up for the night, that I realized how many hours we'd spent in that little place.
Customers came and went, and I hadn't noticed a single one of them or how many cups of coffee I’d had after my meal was long gone.
“I guess it's time to go.” I reached for the bill.
He grabbed it. “No, I invited you.”
I wanted to argue that he had a daughter to take care of, but stopped myself. It would only sound like I was judging him, telling him where his priorities should be, which wasn't my intention.
“Thanks. It was really good.”
He paid, and I grabbed the bag with Indigo's baklava.
We walked back to Moonridge Place. The conversation wasn't as lively this time around.
It was dark out, and aside from cars going by, pretty quiet.
The peacefulness didn't bother me. It was kinda nice.
There were a couple of times when I thought he was reaching for my hand, but I was wrong. All too soon we were back home.
We walked up the stairs to the landing on my floor. “Oh, here.” I handed him the baklava I’d been carrying.
“Breakfast of champions,” he teased, and I wasn't sure what to do next.
I wanted to kiss him and nearly leaned in, but it felt like I was pushing my desires onto the alpha and pulled back. We’d gone the whole night without me making it weird, and I wanted to end the night on a high note.
He smiled and thanked me for coming. “I'm sorry we didn't get to the explaining part. I promise you, I will, though. Trust me?”
“Yeah, I do,” I assured him.
”I gotta go,” he said and went up the stairs.
Now I was more curious than ever. It wasn't just about Rudy. I didn't really care what he wanted to share, but I very much did about him wanting to share it with me.
This might not’ve been a date, but parts of it sure felt like it.
If it had been someone else, I might have asked straight out.
But he was both my neighbor and a single dad.
He had Indigo to think about. If this was him taking it slowly, then I wanted to give him the ability to do that without feeling pressured.
And if this was him just looking for a friend, I wanted to be that for him.
It wasn’t like we met on an app and wouldn’t have to see each other again if we didn’t want to.
“Hey, Marmalade!” I bent down as soon as the door clicked shut and she ran over. I scratched behind her ears. “You know, I had a good time tonight.”
She meowed.
“No, I don't think it was a date, silly cat. But maybe it was.”
She meowed again.
“Yeah, I hear what you're saying. I'm confused too.”
Wouldn't it be nice if I really could understand her? It would sure make my life easier. Or possibly harder? I suspected most of the things she said to me were demands to do something for her. She was a little bossy, but wrapped in enough cute, it didn't matter.