16. Miles
MILES
I’d been sleeping horribly. All that extra sleep I got when I was in my first trimester must’ve been some sort of sleep bank to reserve my energy for now. And for once, it wasn’t that my brain was in hyperdrive.
I’d get a leg cramp, or my shoulder would fall asleep, or I was thirsty, or I had to pee for the forty-seventh time that night. My poor mate had to deal with my tossing and turning. He swore he didn’t mind, but I still felt bad.
Today was different than most. When I woke up, instead of being groggy and begging for just one more hour, I was wide awake and ready to go.
I had this sudden urgency to get things done, and I was taking full advantage of it.
Who knew when I was going to be able to do more than just make it through the day again?
Taking the first few steps each morning was rough. The baby had been playing games with my sciatic nerve. Once I got going, I was good, but I looked like a little old man on my way to the bathroom for my shower.
The hot water felt amazing on my back, and I stood there for a few minutes before grabbing my loofah on a stick to give myself a good scrub.
Best invention ever. I could reach my ankles and shoulders despite being off balance with my huge belly shifting my center of gravity.
My mate had found it and also got me a special mat on the floor to help me clean the bottom of my feet.
Stellan would gladly help me in the shower every day, but I liked having the ability to do things on my own.
As I scrubbed my hair, I thought about all the things we still needed to do before the baby arrived.
We had some diapers people at work had given me at my shower, but nowhere near enough in the smaller size.
We didn’t have any wipes. Ordering them would be easy, but knowing where to put them when they arrived, not so much.
My mate and I had gone back and forth on whether we were going to get a designated changing table.
I was leaning toward no. They took up a lot of space.
But without one, we would need diaper storage.
Stellan suggested a diaper cart, and at first it sounded like another big thing taking up space, but this morning, I was leaning on ordering it, too.
The baby was coming soon, and all this back and forth on what to get was going to result in us being unprepared if I didn’t hurry up and make some decisions already.
Our little one kicked. It was my absolute favorite. There was something reassuring about feeling them move, and I liked to think it was their way of communicating with me. I rubbed my hand over my belly. “Hey, you. Could you maybe wait till I’m sitting down?”
They kicked again.
“I’ll take that as a no.”
Stellan’s apartment was bigger than mine.
It wasn’t too small for us, which was great.
I didn’t want to move. We could easily fit there as a family of four, but it wasn’t ready for our little one yet.
That was on me. I stayed at Stellan’s place every night, but not all of my things were here yet.
I’d had a year-long lease and hadn’t really worried too much about it, but it was getting to the time where I needed to.
I didn’t want to have to stress about moving after the baby came.
There wasn’t much left to bring upstairs.
I probably needed to just have a yard sale or a giveaway and be done with it. The thing about merging households was we didn’t need more dishes or pots, an extra couch, or any of that. Once I brought the rest of my personal items up here, the rest needed to go.
“You’re up early.” Stellan was at the stove cooking up some eggs for Indie. Marmalade was rubbing against his leg, knowing that he would definitely cave and give her treats, whereas I was more likely to stand firm. She’d gotten chubby since we moved her up here and was living her best life.
“I couldn’t sleep, and I realized there’s a lot to do, so I might as well start today.”
“How about you start with breakfast?”
I padded over to him and kissed his cheek. “Breakfast will do.”
Over breakfast, the three of us talked about how I wanted to deal with the contents of my apartment. I tried to keep Indie in on conversations like this because, while she didn’t have any responsibility toward doing the moving, she was a part of this family and I wanted her to feel included.
We talked about what should stay and what should go. The furniture was a no-brainer. It was gone. Stellan’s masterpieces were far superior in every way. Indie had opinions on some of the throw pillows that she was sure Marmalade really needed.
“Are we doing that today?” she asked.
“Maybe,” I said. Indie didn’t have school. I didn’t have work and I had energy, so it probably wasn’t the worst idea. “But didn’t you have plans with Rudy?”
“No, that’s tomorrow.”
He was going to teach her how to make his “famous” cake. I was trusting that it was famous. I hadn’t heard of it or had a piece yet, but I was ready to try some.
“So let’s do this!” She scarfed down the last of her eggs and ran to her room to finish getting ready.
“I can take care of this, honey.” Stellan’s hand rested on mine.
“Or we can do it together. I promise not to overdo it.”
He side-eyed me.
“I promise, for real.” I’d been known for working overtime on days I said I wouldn’t after getting lost in the task at hand. I’d earned that side-eye.
We’d gone back and forth about where the baby would sleep and ultimately decided that they would be in the room with us at first. Stellan was making them a bassinette to fit in there.
Afterward, we’d either have them share with Indie or turn her bedroom into two sleep spaces.
We hadn’t quite decided and were going to let her take the lead on that.
The one thing we were being very intentional about was making sure that Indie didn’t feel like she was being pushed to the side to welcome her new sibling.
Getting the items sorted out that were coming upstairs and putting them away wasn’t as big a task as I feared.
It was figuring out what to do with the rest that took too much time.
Ultimately, we decided to have a “free sale” for the complex only.
Anybody could go in, take anything they needed, and then we’d donate the rest. We didn’t need the money, and getting it done quickly was the goal.
It was fun watching our neighbors come in and find a little kitchen gadget that they were excited about, or a new use for my bookshelf I no longer needed.
My favorite part of it was spending time with all the neighbors.
What a long way we’d come from when I first walked through the front door.
They’d had no idea what to do with me. I thought they hated me.
But they were apprehensive about a human being here.
We were all struggling to see where I belonged.
Now we were family, and knowing that something of mine would be part of their lives, even if it was just a little mushroom slicer, made me smile.
“I’m calling it done.” Stellan took the book from my hand and put it on the coffee table.
I’d spent the past half-hour arranging and rearranging the books despite having done the task already hours ago.
I blamed pregnancy weirdness for my need to have it be perfect.
“You’re not allowed to do any more work for the day.
You barely ate lunch. Go wash up. We’re leaving. ”
He wasn’t asking.
“Where are we going?”
“We’re leaving.”
Five minutes later, the three of us were getting in the car.
“Dad, where are we going?” Indie asked what I wanted to, but we both should have known Stellan enough to know that if he’d wanted us to know, we would already.
“You’ll see.”
“Better be someplace good. Marmalade misses us.” Indie didn’t mess around when it came to Marmalade.
The cat knew all begging needed to go to my mate because he was the softy there, but for playtime and snuggles, it was all Indie.
The two of them were besties. Indie had her dad make a special cat condo that matched her comforter to keep in her room.
It was shaped like a daisy, each petal forming a different perch.
From the side, you couldn’t really see it was supposed to be a flower, but looking from the top down, there was no mistaking it for anything else.
We drove into the parking lot of a building supply store. Indie pushed my shoulder and gave me a look.
“Don’t ask me.”
It wasn’t until he drove around the side of the building that I saw our destination—an ice cream truck.
“You took us out for ice cream?” she squeaked.
“Absolutely. They make the city’s best banana splits, and someone in this car hasn’t been getting enough potassium and has been getting Charley horses at night.”
He wasn’t wrong.
We sat at the picnic table eating our ice cream, talking about all we had accomplished.
The more we talked, the more I feared there was still to do.
But coming home and walking into our place fresh after our break, I instantly relaxed.
Yes, the bookshelf still needed organizing, because for some reason my brain couldn’t let go of it, but the rest of the apartment was nearly ready.
While at ice cream, the diaper caddy and diapering supplies had been ordered.
Stellan was almost done with the bassinette.
All my belongings were in their right place. We were ready.