The Sinister

16.

I am getting ready to meet Neil, the commissioner uncle’s son. Baba tells me yesterday that commissioner uncle and his family like me and want me for their son.

Baba and no one in my family, is forcing me. Baba clearly told me and also commissioner uncle, that whatever decision Sita takes will be the final decision.

To be honest, I am not feeling like meeting him and I don’t feel like marrying him either. But Baba requests me to at least meet him once, just once. That is the only reason I am going.

I wear a simple dress. But even a simple thing, simple si simple cheez, starts looking special after coming on me. After all, I am Sita. I look at myself in the mirror.

Kanha, please jo mere liye accha ho wahi karte rehna, I pray silently in my mind.

(Kanha, please keep doing whatever is best for me)

I get up from the chair and fix my hair one last time, my fingers trembling slightly. Taking a deep breath, I walk out of the room.

As soon as I step into the living room, I see Maa and Ananya sitting together, talking about something in low voices.

“Maine toh pehle hi saare biscuit aur namkeen ke packets chhupa diye the, kyunki mujhe pata tha Sita aane wali hai” Maa says casually.

(I had already hidden all the biscuit and namkeen packets because I knew Sita was coming)

My eyes widen instantly and I stop right there, frozen in my place, listening to them.

“Maa, aapko mujhe bhi batana chahiye tha na. Kal raat ko mere do chips ke packets kha gayi hai woh” Ananya says with a crying face, her voice full of complaint.

(Maa, you should have told me too. Last night, she ate two packets of my chips)

I close my eyes for a second and take a deep breath, trying to control my emotions.

“Jaane de beta, abhi-abhi woh itna bada teer maar kar aayi hai. Thode din jhel lete hain usko” Maa says lightly patting her back.

(Let it go, dear. She has just returned after doing such a big deed. Let’s tolerate her for a few days)

My mouth opens wide in shock. I cannot believe what I just hear. I walk straight in front of them, my steps firm. Both Maa and Ananya suddenly look at me as if they were not just doing my burai a few seconds ago.

“Aap Inspector Anil Tiwari ki biwi aur tu unki chhoti beti. Ek number ke matlab parast log ho. Matla....” I start speaking angrily but Maa cuts me in between.

(You Inspector Anil Tiwari’s wife and you his younger daughter. Both of you are extremely selfish people. Self...)

“Neil already tumhara wait kar raha hai” she says calmly.

(Neil is already waiting for you)

My eyes widen. I quickly look at the time and my heart skips a beat. It is already eight.

“I’m going. Bye and tell Baba about this” I say and rush out of the house. As I step outside, I hear their loud high-five behind me.

I turn my head and glare at them while quickly wearing my sandals.

“Aap logon ka hisaab baad mein karti hoon” I warn them before running out of the house.

(I’ll talk to you guys later)

Kanha, itni buri hoon main ki log mujhse cheezen chhupane lage hain, I ask him silently in my mind while walking towards the main road.

(Kanha, am I so bad that people have started hiding things from me?)

Main kya hi boloon, sakhi. Log mujhse bhi apna makhan chhupa lete hain, Kanha replies.

(What should I even say, friend? People even hide their butter from me)

I let out a small breath and lightly pat my own shoulder, trying to comfort myself.

Wait… why is everyone looking at me like that? I think, slowing my steps as almost everyone on the road stares at me as if I am athwa ajuba.

“Arre, tune kuch din pehle jo mahaan kaam kiya tha na, isliye tujhe dekh rahe hain” my subconscious reminds me.

(Hey, they are looking at you because of that great thing you did a few days ago)

I slowly nod my head. Ab jaakar logon ko pata chala hai ki kaun hoon main, I say to myself, flipping my hair lightly.

“Sita lucchi laphangi” my subconscious says sharply.

(Sita, troublemaker)

I ignore him completely and sit inside an auto.

Yesterday, I gave my interview and I really hope they select me. Teaching kids is always my dream.

“Haan, bachchon ko sikhayegi, gol gol anda, sipahi ke danda, billai ke poonch, mama ji ke monch Zor se bolo babua, ?” my subconscious mocks me instantly.

(Yes, you'll ask the kids, out of 9, if 3 are gone, how many are left? Because you yourself don’t know the answer to this)

I roll my eyes inside my head and glare at my own brain, my lips pressing together in irritation.

The auto stops in front of the restaurant where we are supposed to meet. I step out of the auto, my dupatta fluttering slightly and pay the driver. I turn around slowly and look at the restaurant, my heart beating a little faster.

“Kanha, bas kuch gadbad na ho. Mujhe usse saaf-saaf kehna hai ki main interested nahi hoon aur yahan se jana hai” I tell Kanha in my mind.

(Kanha, I just hope nothing goes wrong. I want to clearly tell him that I am not interested and leave from here)

“Sakhi, tumhe dekh kar bilkul nahi lag raha hai ki tum aisa bolne aayi ho. Ready toh aise hui ho jaise aaj haan bol kar hi jana hai” Kanha replies calmly.

(Friend, looking at you, it doesn’t seem like you came to say no. You are ready as if you’re going to say yes today)

I don’t know why but I can only hear what suits me and ignore everything else. I tell myself that firmly and walk inside the restaurant.

To be honest, Kanha is right. Am I overdressed? I don’t know why but I feel like wearing this today. I feel like looking good but not for Neil, obviously.

Maybe I just want to get ready for myself.

I sit on a chair in the corner, placing my bag beside me. My eyes move around the restaurant, searching for Neil but he is not here yet. The place feels quiet, too quiet.

I take out my phone and am about to dial Maa’s number but I stop midway. My breath hitches suddenly when I see someone familiar.

I don’t think twice. I immediately get up from my chair and run towards the person. Without a second thought, I hug her tightly.

Tara.

“S…Sita” she says, getting startled and I hug her even tighter, my arms wrapping around her like I am scared she will disappear. Tears come to my eyes automatically, blurring everything in front of me. My love, my bond with her, was never fake, never, ever.

“I’m sorry, Tara. I’m so sorry” I say, hugging her more tightly, my shoulders trembling as I try hard to control my tears.

“Please leave me” she says. Her voice comes out low, shaky and somewhere broken. I expect this reaction because what I did is not something people clap for, especially her.

“Tara, please” I say softly. I slowly break the hug and hold her hand, my fingers closing around hers. She keeps looking down, her face turned away from me.

“Sita, you played with my emotions. Please leave me” she says, trying to free her hand from my grip.

“You’re the first person who made me feel like I’m worth becoming someone’s friend. Please don’t say this now” I say, my voice cracking.

She finally looks up at me. Her eyes are full of hurt and I know, I am at fault.

“You never mentioned that you have a family. You lied to me about everything. You told me you are an orphan. You… you didn’t tell me about your real identity” she says. Her voice breaks a little at the end. I look down, guilt crushing my chest and hold her hand even tighter.

“Were your emotions, our bond, everything related to me, fake for you?” she asks slowly.

I immediately shake my head.

“Kanha ki kasam, Tara, maine tumhe apni behen mana hai aur hamara rishta mere liye bahut maayne rakhta hai” I say honestly.

(I swear on Kanha, Tara, I consider you my sister and our relationship means a lot to me)

Her fingers slowly tighten around mine, holding me back instead of pulling away.

“Maine tumhe un sab cheezon ke baare mein nahi bataya kyunki agar woh log mujhe pakad lete, toh saath-saath tum bhi museebat mein pad jaati. Isliye maine tumse chhupa kar rakha. Main tumhe museebat mein dekhna toh door, soch bhi nahi sakti” I say honestly, my voice trembling.

(I didn’t tell you about all those things because if those people had caught me, you would have gotten into trouble along with me. That’s why I hid everything from you. I can’t even think of seeing you in trouble)

Her chin wobbles slightly and so does mine. She glares at me hard, her eyes filled with mixed emotions, before suddenly pulling me into a tight hug.

“Maine abhi bhi tumhe maaf nahi kiya hai” she says while hugging me even more tightly.

(I still haven’t forgiven you)

I slowly smile and crease her back gently with my hand.

“Main maafi maangti rahungi jab tak tum maaf nahi kar deti” I say honestly.

(I will keep asking for forgiveness until you forgive me)

She hits my back, playfully. At that moment, my eyes catch a familiar face. I break the hug and look at Tara, then at her lohe ka khamba standing beside her.

“You both are here?” I ask, sounding like a mother who has caught her daughter outside with a boy.

“We are here just for dinner” Tara says, grinning in embarrassment. I try hard to control my smile while looking at her.

“Why are you here?” she asks, looking at me from top to bottom, her eyes scanning my outfit.

“Ek ladke se milne aayi hoon. Uski family ne rishta bheja tha” I say casually.

(I’ve come to meet a guy. His family sent a marriage proposal.)

She bumps her shoulder lightly with mine, teasing me. “I’m coming home next month and I’ll come to your house to meet you” she says excitedly. I nod my head, already feeling happy.

“I’ll come to pick you up from your house” I say, already planning to introduce her to my family, before any of us can say anything else.

“Let’s go from here. We will eat at another restaurant” Grover says suddenly. Both of us look at him in confusion.

“But why?” Tara asks, her eyebrows knitting together. He doesn’t answer her. He simply holds her wrist and is already walking outside.

“I’m not feeling well. Let’s go” he says and starts walking out. He looks scared, as if someone will catch him red-handed at any moment.

“We will meet later, Sita” Tara says while going with Grover. I nod my head, still not understanding his strange behaviour.

“Baat toh aise kar raha hai jaise har cheez ek baar mein samajh aa jaati hai” my subconscious says.

(You are saying like you understood in one go)

I sigh, completely done with it and walk back towards my table. I sit down and look outside through the glass. I see Tara leaving with Grover.

I am so happy that I finally get to tell her why I didn’t tell her everything back then.

“Sita” I hear a voice and look up, only to see Neil standing in front of me. I smile and stand up immediately. He smiles back.

“I’m sorry if I made you wait” he says. I shake my head and sit down again.

“It’s fine” I say softly. He sits on the chair in front of me.

“You are really pretty” he says. I look down, a small smile forming on my lips.

“Thank you” I reply.

“First, we should order” he says. I nod my head even though I want to talk to him first and leave from here soon. Still, it would feel rude to just say no for marriage and walk away.

“Pagal aurat. Abhi na bol aur uth ja yahan se. Usne tujhse ek baar bhi nahi poocha ki pehle baat karni hai ya kuch khana hai. Bas khud ka decision thop diya” my subconscious says.

(Crazy woman. Say no right now and get up from here. He didn’t even ask you once whether you want to talk first or eat something. He just forced his own decision)

I look at Neil. He is busy looking at the menu.

“Dekh kya rahi hai?! Usne tujhse ek baar bhi nahi bola ki tu choose kar. Khud hi menu dekhne lag gaya” my subconscious snaps.

(What are you looking at?! He didn’t even ask you once to choose. He just started looking at the menu on his own)

I ignore it, forcing my mind to stay calm. Maybe he knows this place better than me, that’s why he is choosing what to order. I try to convince myself.

“Tujh jaisi ladkiyan jo doosron ka sochti hain in matters mein, woh bewakoof hoti hain” my subconscious adds bitterly.

(Girls like you who think about others in such matters are fools)

I don’t reply to him in my head this time. I just look at Neil quietly while he orders for both of us.

“You want something?” he asks finally, looking at me.

I shake my head slowly, my fingers tightening around my bag strap.

“So, tell me about yourself” he says, leaning slightly forward.

I smile slowly, forced, you can say.

“I… nothing special about me” I say, my voice low. He chuckles softly and leans back on his chair.

“Everyone knows you are really talented. Don’t hide it. And we also know how brave you are. You really made that bastard go behind the bars” he says proudly. My head shoots up and I look at him.

Kanha, kyun mujhe isi maarne ka dil kar raha hai, I think suddenly, confused about my own emotions. I don’t know w...why, I really d...don’t.

I just nod my head without saying anything.

“You know, I really like you and I want to get married to you as soon as possible” he says calmly, like he is talking about tomorrow’s weather.

My eyes widen a little. Bhai, tham ja. Main shaadi nahi karungi tujhse, I think sharply.

(Brother, slow down. I’m not going to marry you)

Before I can say anything out loud, our order arrives. He orders a jumbo burger. I stare at it, my eyes widening even more.

Is he for real? How am I supposed to eat this? Ab ise khane ke liye apna itna bada muh kholun main? Nooo. Never, I scream internally, staring at the burger.

Before I can say anything, he serves himself and starts eating.

The waiter comes again and places a pizza on our table. I look at it in confusion.

“We didn’t order this” I say softly. The waiter smiles politely.

“Ma’am, it’s CoMpLiMeNtArY” he says. I smile at him.

“Thank you so much” I say.

“I don’t like pizza” Neil says casually. I ignore his comment and serve myself, picking up a slice.

“What do you like in food?” he asks. I finally look at him. I chew my pizza slowly but suddenly my movements stop. My hands freeze. My breath catches in my throat. My soul runs straight to Kanha.

H…He is sitting there. Behind Neil.

His eyes are fixed on mine. He sits like he owns the place, relaxed yet dangerous, his presence heavy enough to make the air feel thick.

“Sita” Neil calls my name. I snap out of his eyes and look at Neil or at least I try to. But his gaze still makes shivers run down my spine.

“I… I eat everything” I say quickly and look down, my heart pounding hard in my chest.

He sits down on the chair, his posture calm. His eyes do not leave her even for a second.

“We should tell our parents to fix our marriage date” Neil says confidently.

Sita only looks down. Her focus is not on Neil at all, not on his words, not on his presence. Her entire focus is on him now.

He takes out a cigarette from his pocket and lights it slowly. He knows very well that she cannot tolerate the smell. He knows it irritates her.

Still, he does it intentionally.

“Sita” Neil calls again while eating. She finally looks up and before she can say anything, she starts coughing. Her chest tightens. She slowly looks up and sees him smoking. Instinctively, she tries to cover her mouth with her hand.

“Why are you covering your mouth? Everything okay?” Neil asks, as he hands her a glass of water.

She takes it and gulps it slowly, trying to calm her breathing. What doesn’t go unnoticed by him is the moment their fingers touch each other while Neil passes the glass. At the same time, his finger taps slowly on the table.

Why is he looking at me like that? she thinks, still trying to control her coughing, her only wish now being to escape from here as soon as possible.

“You know, I told Dad that we will marry at the most luxurious banquet of Velqar” Neil says confidently.

Sita looks at him with a blank expression, her mind taking a few seconds to process his words.

“Look, I do...” she tries to speak but he cuts her off without listening.

“And also, we will travel the entire world together. You are doing a job, right?” Neil asks.

Sita slowly shakes her head. Her mind is a complete mess. She wants to escape, from his eyes, from Neil’s words, from this place, as soon as possible.

“W… what? You are not doing any job? Look, I want a woman who is earning” Neil says plainly.

Listening to Neil’s words, Zayran smirks slowly. He is enjoying this more than he thought he would.

Sita’s eyes widen and before she can say anything, she starts coughing again. She slowly looks behind Neil and he is looking at her with his head tilted slightly. The look makes her gulp hard.

“I don’t want to marry you” she finally says, trying her best to control her cough.

Neil looks at her with a completely normal face, as if she has just said something very small.

“It’s okay. You’ll get feelings for me after marriage” he says calmly. Sita looks at him with a are-you-serious expression, her brows knitting together.

“No… I’m...cough cough...not interested in getting married right now” she says, her voice shaky. He chuckles lightly.

“It’s okay. We will get married whenever you want. But I won’t leave you because you are really pretty” Neil says casually.

Now Sita looks at him with pure anger. Her jaw tightens, her eyes harden.

He enjoys the drama silently. He watches everything with interest. Neil’s behaviour and Sita’s expressions give him an unexpected sense of peace. He is loving every second of it.

“I will not marry you” she says firmly and gets up from the chair, grabbing her bag.

Neil hurriedly stops her. “The bill” he says.

Sita glares at him hard, her eyes blazing. She takes a deep breath, opens her bag and takes out the money. She slams it on the table without another word and walks out of the restaurant, her steps fast and furious.

“I’ll come to your house tomorrow” Neil says.

Sita curses him under her breath, her jaw clenched as she walks away without looking back.

Zayran gets up from his place and walks out behind her. Her anger slowly turns into fear the moment she feels his presence behind her. Her steps falter. Her spine stiffens.

He stands behind her at a safe distance while she looks around for an auto. He leans casually against his car, his eyes fixed on her. Not a single auto stops in front of Sita.

“Kanha, please ghar pahunchne do. Bahut dar lag raha hai mujhe” Sita whispers, tears gathering in her eyes.

(Kanha, please just let me reach home. I’m feeling very scared)

Her thoughts start going somewhere it shouldn’t. She holds her bag tightly and starts walking, hoping she will find an auto ahead. But no matter how far she walks not a single auto stops.

Suddenly, a car stops right in front of her. She looks up and sees him. Her heart drops. Without thinking, she starts walking faster, trying to avoid him. The car moves slowly beside her and then stops again right in front of her, blocking her path.

What is he planning? she thinks, her breath uneven as she looks at him.

The passenger door opens. She steps back slightly, fear clearly written all over her face. Her hands tremble. Her eyes are wide.

He, on the other hand, looks completely calm, as if this is nothing unusual.

“Sit” he says simply. She shakes her head immediately, panic rising in her chest. She turns around to leave but his eyes lock onto hers, making her freeze on the spot.

“I said, sit” he repeats in the same normal tone. But right now, that normal voice feels terrifying to her.

Before she can understand how it happens, she finds herself already inside the car. The door closes. He starts the car and drives towards her house.

She turns her face towards the window, staring outside, her heart pounding fast. She silently curses herself again and again for sitting inside the car.

He doesn’t say a single word. And somehow, his silence scares her more than anything else.

“That commissioner wants his son to marry you because…” he says. Her head immediately turns toward him.

She waits for him to continue, her heart beating faster but he doesn’t say anything more.

“Because?” she asks, unable to control herself anymore.

He looks at her. Their eyes meet for a second. She blinks, her breath hitching and immediately turns her face away.

They are not supposed to be here not supposed to be talking like this… yet here they are, sitting so close, wrapped in tension.

“Because he thinks you are hiding my file with you, so your father can use it and get a promotion” he says calmly.

Her fingers tighten around the strap of her bag until her knuckles ache. Anger rushes through her chest, anger toward the commissioner, toward his filthy thinking.

He leans back more comfortably in his seat, watching her reaction closely.

“Wait… but why should I believe your words?” she asks, finally looking at him again.

A slow smirk forms on his lips. He is clearly impressed by her question.

Us ne teer nahi mara ye puch kar. Khair.

He takes out his phone. He plays a video and then moves the phone toward her. She looks at the screen, her eyes scanning every second of it.

The video clearly shows the commissioner making plans against her baba. Her jaw clenches. Inside her mind, she showers the commissioner with more than a hundred abuses, each worse than the last.

“But why are you informing me about this?” she asks softly, her voice lower now, as she looks at him again.

“Because I’m the only one who can give you pain, no one else” he says.

Her eyes widen instantly. A sharp breath leaves her lips as she gulps hard, fear crawling straight down her spine.

She immediately turns her face toward the window, her chest feeling tight, tears gather in her eyes as his words echo again and again in her mind, refusing to leave.

Slowly, the window on her side slides open. A cold yet calming breeze brushes against her face, making her close her eyes for a moment. The air feels soothing but it does nothing to calm the storm inside her heart.

He notices every small thing about her, every reaction, every shift in her body, even the way her eyes grow moist. But it is not love or care that makes him observe her so closely. It is something else, something darker and harder to name.

“Would you kill me for doing that to you?” she asks.bThe question has been eating her from the inside for the past few days.

“No, I wouldn’t” he says. She turns to look at him again, surprised. For a brief second, her eyes soften, just a little, just ittu si. But his next words erase that softness completely, making her glare at him inside her mind.

“I’ll do worse than killing” he says, looking straight at her.

She has already turned her face away again, staring outside the window, refusing to meet his eyes.

His gaze moves over her open hair, falling freely over her shoulders. This is the first time he is seeing her dressed like this. Something shifts in him. He quickly turns his head away, forcing his focus back onto the road.

“She is scared of me” he thinks, glancing at her from the corner of his eye.

She is holding her bag tightly against her chest, her fingers clenched around it as if it is the only thing keeping her grounded.

“Baba ko pata chal gaya ki main is darinde ke saath gaadi mein aa rahi hoon, toh pakka mera janaaza nikaal denge. Kya main ise jaan se mar kar khud gaadi chala kar ghar chali jaoon?” she thinks to herself.

(If Baba finds out that I’m coming in a car with this beast, he will surely kill me. Should I throw him out of the car and drive home myself?)

“Gaadi chalani aati hai?” her subconscious asks.

(Can you drive a car?)

Her shoulders drop immediately.

“Kaash seekh leti, toh aaj kaam aata. Ananya sahi kehti hai, main bas zabaan chalana jaanti hoon aur kuch nahi” she thinks bitterly and slowly turns her head toward him.

(I wish I had learned it, it would have been useful today. Ananya is right, I only know how to talk, nothing else)

She just stares at him. Every time she looks at him, her eyes first go to his hair and then to everything else. She has never liked long hair on men but… here, look at this. Her gaze lingers without permission.

“Agar maine abhi is darinde ko maar diya, toh main iske baal kaat kar rakh loongi. Kitne soft lagte hain. Extensions banwa kar khud laga loongi. Jab overthinking ke chakkar mein ganji ho jaaungi, tab kaam aayenge” she thinks to herself, nodding slightly.

(If I kill this beast right now, I’ll cut his hair and keep it. They feel so soft. I’ll make extensions and use them myself. When I go bald because of overthinking, they’ll come in handy)

He can feel her eyes on him and notices the small nod of her head. Still, he doesn’t react at all. His face remains calm, as if nothing affects him.

He takes out his gun and places it on the dashboard casually. The moment she sees it, she snaps back to her senses. She straightens up immediately, sits properly and turns her face toward the window, pretending to be deeply interested in the outside view.

She should be the one scared of him… but here, somehow, things are very different.

The car stops in front of her house after some time. She keeps looking outside, her eyes unfocused, completely lost in her thoughts. Her body is still but her mind is running in every direction.

“Nahi nahi, main Baba se bolungi ki woh mujhse pair pad kar maafi maang raha tha, ki ab saari mafia-giri chhod dega aur achhe kaam karne lagega. Aur mujhse bheekh maang raha tha ki car mein baitho, main ghar chhod deta hoon” she thinks to herself, completely lost in her own world.

(No no, I’ll tell Baba that he was begging me, touching my feet for forgiveness, saying he will leave all mafia activities and start doing good work. And he was pleading with me to sit in the car so he could drop me home)

He stares at her, tapping his fingers slowly on the steering wheel. He watches her expressions carefully, how they change from proud, to scared, to mischievous within seconds.

Without warning, he starts the car again and then stops it with a sudden jerk. The movement pulls her out of her thoughts instantly.

She turns her head toward him, ready to shout, words already rising to her lips. But then she remembers who he is. The anger freezes in her throat.

He raises one eyebrow slowly. Her breath catches and she gulps hard, fear flashing across her face as she looks around nervously.

She steps out of the car in a hurry but stops before closing the door. Her hand hesitates in the air.

“Thank you” she says so softly that even her own ears almost miss it.

He doesn’t say anything. The door closes automatically and he speeds the car away, taking it straight onto the main road, like his plan is already completed.

She stands there, glaring at his disappearing car, her lips pressed tight.

“Phoolon ka guchcha, Zayran luccha” she mutters angrily and stomps her feet as she walks inside her house.

(Mannerless)

He shakes his head slightly as he sees her cursing him under her breath through the rear-view mirror.

Tonight was not planned by him and not by her. It was planned by Kanha, for their upcoming future, a future that is going to change the lives of many people.