Chapter 12
12
R AIN
He tosses his head back, intense pleasure streaming through his eyes, his hips still rocking.
A moment later, he pulls out of my mouth, tucks his cock in his jeans, closes his fly, and fastens his buckle, his gaze dipping.
“I’m not going to fuck you here,” he says bluntly, pulling me up.
He wraps me in his arms, runs his thumb over my lips, and kisses me, stealing my breath.
Eyes closed and lips locked, I wind my arms around his neck as my pussy starts to tingle.
All these years, I’ve been waiting, imagining this moment.
Drawing pleasure from a man for the first time.
I never in a million years thought it would be someone like him.
Like everyone else, I was curious and anxious and knew I was looking for a different kind of man. I never wanted sweet, soft, and timid, and I never longed for someone who worshiped me blindly.
I wanted my match.
The one man who’d take me down and pull me up, burning with me all the way.
The man I’d take down too and make mine.
My hero.
He’s everything I’ve dreamed of, yet there’s no way he’ll be mine.
He tears his lips away and takes my hand, my fingers sliding off his groin.
“They’re waiting for us,” he says.
He walks me out of the room, but instead of going back, we pivot right, follow the corridor, and stroll through a few more chambers––all looking the same to me––before reaching a large office decorated with modern furniture and a sleek glass wall.
We stride across and enter the next room. The chamber is dark, and there are no windows. Glancing around, I notice a couch, a safe, and a desk next to a small bar.
A wide mirror stretches from side to side, and as I look closely, I realize it’s one of those fake walls that lets you peek through it without being seen.
“What is this?”
I edge closer, my eyes widening with surprise as I gaze at the panoramic view. I spot a stage and private booths and quickly realize it’s the hidden part of Red’s, and it's so much different than the main room.
He stops next to me, his eyes rooted to what lies in front of us.
“This is the favorite spot of the rich and powerful,” he murmurs, bracing his arm against the glass, his eyes pinned on them as well.
Many of the men I spotted earlier at Mrs. Gordon’s party are here, half-naked women accompanying them.
Dancers wearing only glitter hug the stripper poles with their bare legs, doing their dance routines.
Beautiful women wearing nothing other than garters and heels sit on the men’s laps in the booths.
I recognize a few bankers and businesspeople my dad has dealt with. And then a couple of council members and the police chief.
Somewhere in the background, I spot the mayor. I know these people from my family gatherings.
“Are these women paid to be with them?”
He clicks his tongue.
“No. These are all patrons. It just happens that these men attract that kind of clientele and the other way around. Unless cheating will be deemed illegal one day–and who would pass that kind of legislation?–– this is nothing but a private event with consenting adults. The men and women connect on their own accord. Some end up in the cars or the parking lot or the fuck pads scattered all over town. Some go in the back rooms, which is better than fucking in the bathrooms,” he says, calm, unfazed––his honesty is salutary but hard to digest.
My throat turns dry.
Most women are not older than me, while the men must be pushing fifties and sixties.
And that’s not all.
Most of these men have wives and daughters.
“My sister…” I say, lost in thought. “Was she one of these women?”
He stays quiet.
I whip my gaze at him.
“No. She was fucking someone from my entourage,” he says, his eyes trained on the crowd outside.
“Was she getting money for that?”
The ghost of a smile flutters across his lips.
“I don’t know. It’s possible. Some guys reward good performance, and they’re well-off men. And sometimes, paying for sex or getting paid is a turn-on, especially when it involves someone hot.”
He glances at me, his gaze sinking into mine.
“Did you fuck her?” I ask in a trembling voice, dreading the answer.
Without blinking or breaking his stare, he says nothing.
“Daria... Did you fuck her?” I ask, more demanding this time.
“No.”
No emotion shows in his eyes.
“She tried to be with you, didn’t she?”
“Yeah... she did,” he says, shifting his gaze away from the view.
“How come you didn’t want her?”
A small smile tilts his lips.
“She’s not my type,” he says.
I wonder what his type is.
Do I fit his taste? What about the women working here? Are they his type? Was Daria too much of a headache for his taste?
“Has she been with more than one man?”
His lips purse as he studies me briefly.
“Uh-huh.”
“At the same time?”
“Yeah...”
“Have Lex or Ed been with her?”
“Not that I know of.”
He flashes a secret smile, observing me.
“Why is it so important to you?” he asks.
“It’s not,” I say dryly, looking at the event room.
He does the same.
“Do you have any family left, James?” I ask after a while.
“No…” he says softly. “My dad was my only family, and he wasn’t much different than the men you see in this room. The only difference was that he never cheated on someone because he never committed to a woman.”
“So you follow his example...” I murmur, glancing at him.
“I know nothing else...” he admits quietly. “And life didn’t show me anything different than what I saw growing up.”
“How can you see something different if your life revolves around this?” I say, pointing to the orgy in front of us.
“Hmm... You don’t understand, do you?” he says. “You’re too young to understand, but you’ll learn in time. This is not confined to this room. It’s everywhere. The good you think you see in the world today is an illusion–a figment of the imagination. Nothing is what it seems. It’s a lie stacked up on top of another lie, and if you look hard enough and long enough, you'll see right through it. If you wait long enough, you’ll experience betrayal and disappointment to last you a lifetime. Evil has great power in this world. The good always struggles, while the evil is tenacious, versatile, and has a thousand faces. It roams freely in people’s hearts. The little gestures they do or don’t do, and the innocent lies they tell themselves or relay to others. That’s where evil lives and thrives. It’s dripping with poison, making people indifferent and blind and deaf to so many bad things. It compels them not to do the right thing. It’s the small evil in good people that feeds the big evil in bad people.”
I look at him, dumbfounded.
How can he see it so clearly, yet he is exactly like them?
“And that makes the bad people innocent?”
“No, that’s not what I’m saying. The bad people can’t stop it, but the good people can, yet they look the other way.”
“Can’t you stop it?”
He breathes a chuckle, his eyes trained on the view.
“I don’t want to… I’m nothing. I’m not self-righteous. I don’t judge. I don’t believe in anything. That’s who I am. The world is what it is, and it’s not my place to play God.”
“You believe in money...” I say.
He looks at me and smiles.
“I grew up with it. That’s all I know.”
He turns to me and slides his hand over my shoulder.
“Let’s pick up Ed and Lex,” he says.
“Wait.”
We connect eyes, but I need a moment to find my words.
“Have you...? Have you seen my dad by any chance?”
The light dies out in his eyes, feeding my worst fears.
“Let’s go, Rain,” he says, gripping my arm, suddenly in a rush to pull me away from this.
“James… Have you?”
He doesn’t stop. I root my feet to the floor, bringing him to a halt.
He glances at me, his brow furrowed. As if I needed another confirmation.
“Oh, my God... You have,” I murmur.
I pull my arm out of his lock.
He grabs me again.
“Let’s go,” he barks.
I don’t move, tears blurring my eyes.
“I need to know the truth,” I mutter in a broken voice.
He stays silent, his eyes sinking into mine, no words coming from his lips.
“Please, James…”
His hands slide to my shoulders. He tilts his head down, his eyes holding mine.
“There is no truth to tell.”
“You’ve seen him here. Why can’t you just say it?” I ask, tears trickling down my face.
“It’s not my place to open your eyes. You have to do it on your own.”
“When? Tell me when you saw him?” I beg.
His eyes turn dark.
It takes a second before I sob so hard I almost choke on my tears, and then his arms close around me, and he holds me to his chest as I squeal and whimper, grieving over my shattered world.
* * *
JAMES
She calms down as I stroke her hair, tears still staining her cheeks.
Her pain flows through me as I see her heart butchered by the harsh reality of life.
“I want to go home, please,” she says.
“Okay.”
“No. Not my home... Take me anywhere else––I don’t care where. All I know is that I don’t want to be here. And I don’t want to be in the space I share with my family either.”
I text Lex before walking her out through the back door.
The night is pitch dark and quiet. I fill my lungs with fresh air and glance up at the sky. There are no stars, no moon, only a soft breeze pushing quick-moving clouds of rain across.
I show her to my car.
She slides into her seat, wiping away her tears with her fingers.
I turn the ignition on, slowly back away, and swerve my ride onto the road.
We drive in silence, her gaze wandering outside.
The wind blows strands of long blonde hair over her face as she leans against the doorframe.
What she feels is not new to me.
I always knew we lived in a cruel world. Some are lucky not to see it. Others, like me, not so much.
I learned it when my mother left my father for a man half her age. I was a boy back then. And then I learned it from my dad, who’d never opened up to me.
He taught me to be ruthless in business and never trust a woman in my private life.
To me, cruelty is a fact of life, and I see it every day.
It’s like mold, sticking out and growing where you expect it the least, but you can’t fully understand how evil and destructive it is until you see the writhing of a bludgeoned heart.
A few more minutes pass before we pull up in front of my house.
We leave my car and slip through the main door in perfect silence.
Moments later, we enter my bedroom. She follows me quietly, her eyes vacant, her mind adrift.
“You can sleep here,” I say, motioning to my bed. “The staff is downstairs if you need anything.”
She shifts her eyes to me.
“Are you sure you’re going to be okay?” I ask.
She nods.
“Okay. I’ll see you in the morning,” I say, pivoting and heading to the door.
She grabs my arm.
“Where are you going?” she asks, looking at me for the first time since we left Red’s.
Her eyes are cloudy.
She steps forward and rests her palm on my chest, my heart thudding underneath.
“They’re waiting for me at the club. But I’ll be back,” I say quietly.
“When?”
“I don’t know.”
“Can you please come back to me?” she says, her voice soft.
I stay silent.
She pushes up on her toes while I wrap my arms around her. Our lips connect into a soft kiss.
“I’ll wait for you. Okay?” she murmurs, searching my eyes.
Without a word, I break away and slip out the door.