Chapter 5
5
R AIN
Ten months later.
New York.
“All set?” the receptionist asks, flashing a friendly smile.
I give her a soft nod.
“Miss Morgan?” a voice rings out behind me.
I spin on my heel.
“The car is ready for you,” the man says, pointing at the town car parked in front of the hotel.
“Thank you,” I say before heading to the entrance.
He rushes to open the door, and I float through it, my heels click-clacking against the marble floor.
A gust of wind sweeps the sidewalks, swirling clouds of colorful leaves.
It’s one of those beautiful late October days when it’s still warm outside, and the bright light and leaves are colorful and so vibrant it simply takes your breath away.
Just before fall begins to settle in for good and starts tarnishing them.
A few men swivel their heads, taking me in discreetly.
Brushing a strand of hair away from my face, I stifle a smug smile while a voice echoes behind me.
“Rain??”
Lined with disbelief, the woman’s voice hurls a lightning bolt down my spine, bringing me to an abrupt halt.
“Is that you?” she asks.
Her voice wrestles with surprise.
I slowly turn around, and Eve’s hand flies to her mouth.
“Oh my God,” she blurts.
Briefly, my mind goes blank, although I’m perfectly aware I need to explain why I’m here, dressed like this.
She takes me in, a grin stretching across her lips.
Her skinny jeans, pretty oatmeal sweater, and small backpack make her look like a high school girl.
Her hair is pulled back into a ponytail––there’s no trace of makeup on her face.
She keeps gawking at me, unable to tear her gaze away.
“What happened to you? I almost didn’t recognize you,” she says, her eyes roaming over me.
Curiously, she examines my tailored black skirt suit and high heels. Her eyes flick at the hotel entrance and then back at me.
She looks at me, intrigued.
“What are you doing here?” she asks, baffled.
I could ask her the same thing.
The boutique hotel is on a quiet street far from the city’s hustle and bustle. I never thought I’d run into her.
“A business meeting,” I say.
It’s partially true, yet she doesn’t buy it. If nothing else, for the silence growing between us.
“Business meeting?” she says, genuinely confused.
I nod, unable to suppress a smile.
She grins, too, completely lost.
“What about you?” I ask.
“I was supposed to meet a classmate, go to her place, and study with her. She just canceled our meeting,” she says, distracted, still examining my attire. “I was about to leave when I thought I’d spotted you, but I couldn’t tell for sure.” She drags her gaze up and down, checking my outfit again. “Were you at a photoshoot or something?”
I breathe a soft laugh.
“No. I just wanted to dress up,” I say, not offering more information.
It’s for a good reason.
She has no idea what I do for a living. Nobody does.
I couldn’t figure out how to plug my new reality into her life.
“Do you need to be somewhere else?” I ask.
She sways her head from side to side.
“Let’s go to my place then, and we can order food,” I say, motioning to the car waiting for me.
“Okay,” she murmurs before scooting inside.
I slide into the back seat next to her and give the address to the driver.
Her stare burns holes into my face.
“So...” she says, sucking in a sharp breath. “What’s new with you? I haven’t seen you in a while. Switched jobs, I supposed?”
“That too.”
Grinning softly, I avoid her eyes.
“Can you… talk about it?”
I shake my head.
“There’s not much to talk about,” I say, guarded.
She doesn’t press any further.
I look at her.
“What’s new at home?” I ask, shifting the topic.
Relieved that we can talk about something else, she gives me updates on our friends from back home.
I listen to her, disconnected.
Moments later, our ride pulls up in front of my building. The doorman and the security guard greet us with friendly smiles as we cruise across the lobby.
She leans closer to me.
“Have you robbed a bank or something?” she whispers.
I chuckle while she smiles, amused.
“No,” I say, motioning to the elevator.
* * *
RAIN
“Oh, my....” Eve utters in disbelief, pacing around the living room before stopping in front of the ceiling-height windows and peering outside.
Central Park looks like a giant canvas painted in crimson, gold, and copper, the fall foliage colors.
“This is amazing,” she murmurs, soaking in the trees and alleys, the people strolling up and down the footpaths, and the rusty leaves on the sidewalks.
She spins away from the window and glances around, taking in the champagne-colored walls, espresso hardwood floors, red couch, and round velvet armchairs.
“What would you like to eat?” I ask as she lowers herself onto the sofa. “There’s an excellent restaurant around the corner, and I can order something.”
“Are you hungry?”
“Yes. A little,” I say, fishing out my phone from my purse.
She gives me a quick once over, taking in my business suit again.
“I’m so glad I ran into you,” she says, still studying me. “What kind of meeting was it?”
“I told you it was business,” I say, flashing a secret smile.
“What kind of business?”
“Good business,” I say, grinning mysteriously again.
I hand her the takeout menu.
“What would you like to eat?” I ask, smoothly nudging her to a different topic.
She makes her selection, and forty minutes later, we sit at the table, eating delicious food.
Once in a while, we glance out the window.
I swapped the skirt suit for black sweatpants and a zippered, long-sleeved, fitted white T-shirt.
Her eyes tip down as I fold a leg beneath me.
“You’re working out,” she says.
“What makes you say that?”
She shrugs.
“I don’t know... Your body looks different, your chest is bigger, and your waist seems smaller...” A smile creases her lips. “Oh, no... You didn’t...”
Grinning, I gesture.
“No. I didn’t do anything. They are mine one hundred percent. I work out, though.”
“Good for you.”
She watches me furtively as she chews on her food.
“You look different overall,” she says.
“Different how?” I ask.
“More mature.”
“You mean old.”
“No... Not old.”
My gaze drifts down to her.
“You haven’t changed at all,” I say.
And that’s the truth. Not physically, anyway, but something has changed inside her.
She seems preoccupied and stressed out. She’s no longer the girl I used to know. Carefree and adventurous.
“I’m not sure that’s a good thing,” she says, a pang of sadness threading through her voice.
She sighs.
“What is it?” I ask.
A sad smile tugs at her lips.
“Nothing… Life, I guess,” she says, slipping into a pensive mood.
“What do you mean?” I ask, picking up a piece of cheese from a platter.
“The school is harder than I thought and pricier than I expected. The novelty has worn off quickly, and the prospects for the future aren't that good, either. I've started looking for a part-time job, but no one is hiring right now. Besides, nobody wants someone without some work experience.”
“I know.”
She pauses.
She also seems curious.
“So, what exactly are you doing for a living?”
I look away for a moment.
“Business.”
“What kind of business pays for all this?” she asks, glancing around and pointing at my apartment.
She arches an eyebrow, her lips curving softly. I wish I could tell her the truth, but I fear her reaction.
I’m not ready to share it with her or anyone else.
“Daytime trading,” I joke.
We both laugh.
“No, seriously,” she says.
I glance at her before taking a sip of water.
“Is it books?” she asks, unconvinced by my previous answer.
I ponder for a moment. This might work.
“Sort of...”
“Kinky books?”
“Some of it, yes,” I say evasively, relieved she’s found an explanation.
The following question dies out on her lips.
It feels like a truce since we can’t find our way to a place of truth.
Silence fills the next few seconds.
“And other than that? Are you dating anyone now?” she asks, sticking her fork into her food.
“Yeah... A couple of guys. Nothing serious.”
“A couple?” she asks, amused.
I breathe a soft laugh.
“Not at the same time...” I say.
She smirks, disappointed.
“Still one of your fantasies?” I ask.
Her eyebrows shoot up while she nods repeatedly.
“It’s the best that I have…” she murmurs comically, reminding me of her old self. “They have money?”
“They do,” I say, sighing softly. “Yeah, they do have money...”
“That’s good… Well, I’m happy for you,” she says in a more upbeat tone.
“You are?”
“Yes. You’re doing well for yourself... Whatever it is that you’re doing,” she says, training her eyes on her plate. “Honestly, I thought you’d be crushed because of James,” she adds.
The room feels suddenly cold.
Prompted by my silence, she raises her eyes.
Her eyebrows tilt up, her eyes widening in surprise as she takes in my expression.
My eyes probably flash a bit of emotion.
“I was,” I say quietly. “But it was stupid to feel that way.”
She studies me, intrigued.
“Well... You’ve bounced back nicely,” she says, a warm smile lining her lips.
“It’s life, and things are the way they are. I didn’t have a choice.”
“I guess...” she murmurs, unconvinced.
She places her fork on her plate.
“Are you done?” I ask.
“Yes.”
I collect the plates, bring a box of desserts to the table, and flip the cover open.
She peeks inside.
“They look good,” she says.
“They are fantastic.”
I scoop up an eclair.
She picks up a Napoleon.
“Mmm... It’s delicious,” she says, enjoying the creamy filling and puff pastry.
“What about you? How are things with Andy?” I ask, brushing crumbs off my lips with a napkin.
She looks away, a sad smile flitting through her eyes.
Chewing, she takes her time to respond, mixed emotions glinting in her eyes.
I touch her hand.
“What happened?”
“We broke up,” she says ruefully.
“I’m sorry.”
She shrugs, trying to smile, but I see the pain in her.
“What was the problem?”
She brushes crumbs off her fingers and sips water before leaning back in her chair and speaking again.
“One of those things,” she says softly, staring blankly at her plate.
“What things?”
She flicks her gaze up, sighing.
“Last semester, he made a new friend...” she says quietly, and my heart sinks.
“She’s a student as well,” she continues. “Two years older than him... He said they needed to study together. They probably did. In the beginning, anyway. Before they hooked up and forgot to tell me. I didn’t suspect a thing because I trusted him. I had no idea it went on like that for months. We were both busy with school and all that. During summer break, I went home, and he did the same, spending time with his parents, or at least that’s what he told me. In the fall, he suddenly started to act strangely. Guarded and secretive, he was so much different than the guy I used to know. He clamped up when I asked him if something was wrong. He didn’t want to talk about it, and I was tormented for weeks. At that point, I knew something was not right. I just didn’t know what. Then, a friend of mine spotted them kissing in a park, and that was the end of it.”
“I’m sorry.”
She smiles bitterly.
“Yeah... Not only did he cheat on me, but he had used me until he knew for sure he wanted her. They’re engaged now.”
“Fuck...” I mutter.
“Yes.”
“Were you serious about him?”
“Yeah… Sort of. It crossed my mind at some point. I thought we were great together. Plus, his family liked me, and my parents were crazy about him.”
“He seemed like a nice guy.”
She looks at me, disheartened.
“He probably is a nice guy, just not to me. I don’t think he wanted to hurt me. Although he could’ve handled things differently and spared me the heartache and himself the guilt. It doesn’t matter…” She gestures, annoyed. “People act carelessly when they fall in love, and the outcome would’ve been the same. ”
“It all happened for a reason,” I say, trying to comfort her.
She shrugs and cuts her eyes at me.
“You think?”
“Yeah. There must be someone out there for you. Someone special, who is a better match for you.”
“Yeah... Maybe. I’m not so sure I want to go through all that crap again. Besides, all the good men are already taken,” she says.
“There isn’t such a thing. Good or bad, men are men. All the good ones can turn bad at the drop of a hat. Andy seemed like a decent guy and turned out to be a jerk in the end. And one day, he might fancy someone different than his current squeeze and turn bad again. It has nothing to do with you. It’s how they are.”
She dips her gaze to her plate, smiling softly.
“I guess you’re right. I wish I could be more like you...” she murmurs, raising her eyes.
“In what way?”
“You don’t seem to care... I was an anxious mess when we were virgins, and you didn’t give a shit about it. And then what happens? You end up with Mr. Sex God,” she jokes.
We both laugh.
“Yeah... Right. I paid dearly for that. Besides, I didn’t end up with him,” I say, my mood shifting.
“It didn’t affect you too much, either. And even if it did, you’ve moved on with ease.”
I draw in a long breath.
“I’m not sure about that. He affected me... He affected me a lot,” I say, nostalgic. “But I couldn’t think about him. I had to block him out of my memory to be able to survive.”
She gives me a soft smile.
“You miss him?”
A bitter grin tickles my lips.
“Do you miss pain?” I ask.
Her smile fades.
“I guess everything turns to crap in the end,” she says.
My chest feels hollow.
“Probably. That’s why you have to enjoy it while it lasts. And don’t worry about Andy. You’ll find someone else.”
We lock eyes.
“How come you didn’t find someone else? Someone serious, I mean…” she says.
I swallow the last piece of eclair and take a swig of water.
“Who says they aren’t serious?” I comment, smiling. “They are. It’s just that my heart is no longer on the line.”
“I truly envy you.”
“You shouldn’t. It’s not something that I want to do. And it’s all there is right now. Other than that, I want nothing serious. I like my life the way it is, although I haven’t planned for it to be this way. I make the best of what’s been handed to me.”
“Don’t you get lonely?”
“No,” I deadpan. “And if I do, I stroll down the streets of Manhattan or go to the park or a restaurant. I spot couples dealing with domestic drama and people eating dinner together, completely disconnected from each other. Once in a while, I get a glimpse of a woman crying, and I mentally pat myself on my back for being wise enough not to be her.”
“What about those people who don’t act or feel that way. I see them all the time. Kissing and hugging, unable to keep their hands off each other. The little fuckers seem to be everywhere I go when I’m out and about,” she says, smiling bittersweet.
“You only see a snapshot of their lives. A lot of what you think you see is your imagination. You want to believe they have everything you don’t have in your life. You also want to believe their passion lasts forever, and it never does,” I say, deeply disappointed.
She looks at me with sadness in her eyes.
“I could say the same thing about you,” she says.
“What?”
“You only see what you want to see.”
“Yeah... It’s possible.”
“You sound like you’re still a bit broken because of him.”
“It may be, but I don’t feel any pain.”
“Don’t you miss what you had with James?”
The memory of him affects me deeply despite the walls I put in place to protect myself.
I look out the window and train my eyes on a young couple with a small child walking down the street.
“What I had with James was not what I thought it was...” I say quietly. “Or perhaps it was to the girl I was back when I knew little about men and life, and he tried to protect me from myself...” I say, shifting my eyes back to her and smiling softly. “But James is James, and he couldn’t fight his nature. In the end, I was nothing more than another girl for him. Perhaps a different flavor, a novelty––nonetheless, a random girl. It was bound to end. What we had couldn’t last for long, and he knew it. I wasn’t a match for him, but I didn’t know it then. He had to dance around the idea of me a lot, and that’s not who he is. That’s not how he lives his life. He knew he could crush me. In a sense, I was a soft butterfly trapped under his boot,” I say, smiling at the memory of us.
I drink the rest of the water and run my fingers over my lips while she studies me in silence.
“That’s who James was to me. So, anyway,” I say before taking in a quick breath and pushing his memory away. “What’s new with them? Have you heard anything about him?” I ask coldly.
“Nothing has changed. They still rule the town, and it’s the same as it’s always been.”
A bitter smile dips my lips.
“Of course they do,” I say quietly before she continues.
“He bought the building next to Red’s and expanded his business. The Casino is already open, and their business is booming. He’s on TV all the time, giving interviews. He also made Forbes’ billionaire list.”
“Hmm…”
“He’s flushed with money. And Lex and Ed are not far behind. People, and I mean women, clamor over them. They throw party after party, the biggest gatherings in town.”
“Is he dating someone?”
She stares at me like I've lost my mind.
I roll my eyes, laughing.
“Never mind…” I say, gesturing softly.
“James Sexton? Does he need to?”
“I thought he was ready to settle down with someone. Get married and all that,” I mock.
“That’s him, baby,” Eve says, entertained.
“I bet women swarm his parties.”
“They do. But James is James, as you just said. You rarely see him with the same woman. Read the gossip columns. There’s plenty of that crap online.”
I flick my hand up.
“I’m fine,” I say.
She smiles, her fingers touching mine.
“Listen… You’ve got the most from him,” she says, and my grin fades. “The man’s heart is made of ice. He’s probably given you more than he’s ever offered to any other woman. So you shouldn’t feel bad. I don’t think there’s more to him than that,” she says.
I couldn’t agree more.
“Even so... One of those women will get him someday,” I say.
She searches my eyes, expressing disbelief.
“You think so?”
I nod.
“Mm-hmm... Yeah, I do. They all fall for someone in the end,” I murmur.