Chapter 6
6
R AIN
Hotel de Paris Monte Carlo
“The hotel is amazing,” she says before the doors glide open, and we walk into the hallway.
A man greets us in the lobby, gesturing widely while pointing to the restaurant.
People walk past us, glancing in our direction.
“Oh, my... These people,” she says under her breath as men wearing suits and women sporting designer dresses parade in front of us.
We walk into the restaurant, where the hostess greets us with softly spoken words and a smile.
“James Sexton and Edward Preston are waiting for you. Follow me, please.”
Eve’s cheeks are flushed.
“Stop being so nervous,” I say, yet I feel the same way for some reason.
We strut across the restaurant behind the hostess when she turns right, and we all enter the men’s line of sight.
Grinning, they shift their eyes to us and rise out of their seats as we approach the table.
“Hey, Eve,” Ed says, grinning softly.
He pulls her closer and kisses her cheeks while she melts in his arms.
James flashes a secret smile.
He dips his gaze briefly and takes me in before bringing his hand to my neck, wrapping his fingers around it, pulling me into him, and kissing my lips.
Smoothly, he slides his lips to my ear, his breath tickling me as he quietly says, “You won’t believe the news.”
With that, he breaks away from me, his grin expressing a myriad of emotions.
Bewildered, I stare at him as he pulls the chair out for me.
He winks at me as I lower myself in my seat––our code for keeping it confidential––and then motions to me, reinforcing the very same idea.
“Not so fast, baby,” Ed says, who’s already helped Eve get seated and now pivots to me.
He pulls me from my chair straight into his embrace, kisses my cheek, and gently squeezes my hand before smiling at me.
“Thank you for coming,” he says, sounding so formal.
What is it with these men and their secrets?
We all sit around the table, perusing the menus and ordering food before James asks for a couple of bottles of Le Musigny Vintage.
“It’s a special occasion,” he says, arguing with Ed over who picks up the tab.
My gaze moves between the two men before settling on Ed.
There is something different about him.
He is calm and seems content, pacing himself, and there is something in his eyes I haven’t seen before.
Unbridled happiness.
Eve studies him as well, regret glinting in her eyes.
It would’ve been nice if things had worked between Ed and her, but she was right.
Ed hasn’t always been the soft, tender man he is right now, and she’s not the woman to sway him one way or another.
Their hookup would’ve been a disaster.
She was––and still is––an innocent woman at her core, with a bit of wildness and a visceral need to be loved.
That’s a tough combination, and it takes a determined man to ignite passion in her.
Despite what she’s saying, she needs a kind, loving man.
Unfortunately, things didn’t work out for her, but there’s no point in dwelling on it. The past is the past.
That part of her life is gone.
Her eyes express sadness as she observes the man next to her. Ed talks to James while she drinks him in. Her thoughts must be mirroring mine.
Her innate ability to register the slightest nuances in someone’s behavior only fuels her torment.
“So, what are we celebrating?” I ask as the sommelier retreats.
James lifts his glass of wine, and we all follow his example.
His eyes are locked with Ed’s.
“We’re celebrating the best news I’ve gotten the entire year,” James says.
Smiling, he flicks his chin up, motioning to Ed.
“Take it from here, man,” James says to him.
Eve and I swivel our heads, our glasses held up in the air as we all wait for Ed to speak.
“Thea and I are having a baby,” he says without a formal introduction.
I can’t tell whose mouth drops open first.
Mine? Or Eve’s?
All I know is that we both gasp.
“What?” I murmur, surprised.
My hand descends unexpectedly, and my glass is now on the table as I digest the news.
Eve’s face displays a cocktail of emotions. Shock, surprise, regret, perhaps. Again. And then shock... Again.
Grinning, Ed tips his chin down, confirming the fantastic news.
“Yes. I also proposed to her, and she said yes.”
“Congratulations, man,” James says, cutting through the cloud of muted surprise hovering over our table.
Eve pulls her mouth shut and lifts her drink, clinking Ed’s glass with a trembling hand.
“Congratulations. I’m so happy for you,” she says, genuinely happy.
Her voice is shaky too.
She leans to him and kisses his cheek, and I do the same, although I’m not so good at erasing the expression of puzzlement from my face.
I don’t know why it affects me so badly, but it does.
We indulge in exquisite wine while more information surfaces.
Our smiles vanish as we learn the circumstances leading to him proposing to her––his visit to Las Vegas and the fire that almost took her life.
And then, our faces light up when he paints the perfect picture of that unique moment when she said yes to him.
I see the reflection of what she felt in his eyes.
I see her happiness.
I’ve never seen Ed so thrilled and passionate about his life, so alive. Happiness oozes from his pores and glows over his face, sparkling in his eyes.
It’s impossible not to be happy for him and Thea, despite the strange feeling casting a shadow over the joy I feel for them.
It’s also impossible not to glance at James and think about us.
We’ve never talked seriously about having kids.
I know he wants them, but he’s never pressed me, and I’ve never set a deadline for having them too.
There’s no way I can think about having kids right now, not seriously, anyway.
I barely see him on the weekends, and that’s not even every week.
As Ed tells us his story, we all learn fate has played a hand in his realizing he wanted to share his life with Thea.
Eve and I listen, fascinated as he talks about Turkey, her life as a student, her fascination with the place, and how he sees their life back home. She wants to finish college, have a baby, and have a wedding next year.
I wonder how their new life will affect us.
By us, I mean James and I.
My gaze slides smoothly over my husband’s handsome face, corded neck, and strong shoulders before moving back to his smoldering eyes.
A soft smile glints faintly in his gaze.
It must’ve taken him by surprise as well.
Ed’s news must’ve prompted a few questions, and a review of his life goals, perhaps.
Why not?
It’s normal, I guess.
Or so I’d like to think.
I wonder what Lex will say about Ed’s news?
James’ eyes glint with a thought, and I think I know what he’s thinking.
Like Lex, he’s always regarded Ed as their younger brother, and they’ve treated him accordingly, while Ed behaved like their younger brother––a spoiled brat who liked doing things his way, never settling down with someone.
And here we are.
James looks at him with newfound admiration, maybe studying his own life through a different lens.
“So when is she coming back?” I ask, all eyes swinging to me.
“As soon as the semester is over. We’ll both go back,” he says, a sense of responsibility threading through his voice.
I freeze.
And then thoughts bounce around my head.
Oh.
This is not only about Ed and Thea.
Things will be different for us too.
Hiding my expression behind my glass of wine, I observe James.
He must feel my stare, yet he doesn’t look at me, this little detail telling me there’s more to the story.
We move on from the news and focus on other topics, the evening unfolding quickly.
Later, we’re enjoying our desserts when Ed’s phone rings.
He picks it up, smiling.
“Hey, baby. We were talking about you,” he says before Thea’s voice echoes at the other end of the phone line.
She asks him something, and his eyes go around the table.
“James and Rain. Eve…”
She talks again, and then he speaks.
“Uh-huh. Eve is Rain’s friend. Okay... How do you feel? Did you have any food this evening?”
His words become a distant hum as I tear my gaze away from him, push my chair back, and rise from my seat.
“If you’ll excuse me... I need to go to the ladies' room,” I say, not looking at anyone in particular.
“I need to go too,” Eve says, pushing her chair back as well.
James' hand lands on my arm, prompting me to shift my eyes to him.
Our eyes lock.
“Are you okay?” he asks.
“Yes, I’m fine.”
But he knows me better than that.
“We’ll be right back,” I say, smiling wryly.
Eve and I pull away.
We navigate the room, sliding past tables occupied by the guests of the hotel and crossing paths with an army of servers, sommeliers, and the Maitre D.
A few minutes later, we are in the restroom alone.
“What about that?” Eve mutters faintly. “I sure didn’t expect something like that. Did you know about it?”
“Had no clue,” I say, checking my makeup in the mirror and running my fingers through my hair.
Sighing, I pivot to her.
“It’s great news,” I say, propping myself against the edge of the sink.
My voice contradicts me.
“You don’t sound too happy.”
“No, no. I am happy for them,” I say.
“I think it’s great, and it gives me hope,” she comments, adding a nude shade of lipstick to her lips.
I study her eyes.
“Seriously,” she says. “It’s like your mom’s story. I wish something like that happened to me,” she murmurs. “But even happening to someone else is great and gives me hope it could happen to me too.”
“Yeah... I guess so.”
My gaze trails to the floor.
“What’s bothering you?” she asks.
I tilt my gaze to her.
Her focus sharpens on me.
“Rain?”
“Well... It’s not very clear to me what’s bothering me. I guess it’s the fact that my old problem is now even more complicated.”
“What do you mean?”
“If Ed comes back home––and naturally he does because he wants to stay with Thea––James will need to replace him. At work, I mean.”
“Okay.”
Questions flicker through her eyes.
“He’ll travel even more. And things will get even more difficult for me.”
“He could hire people to do the work.”
“Of course, he could, but not at this point. He’s planned a huge international expansion, so he needed Ed there. He needed his expertise. That’s why he, himself, has spent so much time in Asia. These things need to be set up properly. Once they take off, he can step down. If he wants to, of course. I can’t just tell him I want him to stay home with me.”
Her stare lingers on my face as I try to make sense of my conflicting emotions.
“I don’t know why I feel so torn. I was happy for them when Ed broke the news. At the same time, I couldn’t stop thinking about James and me. I’ve buried myself in work at home. And I travel to New York from time to time to escape. At the same time, he only pops in two or three times a month. These past weeks, he’s spent a total of six days at home.”
“Can’t you travel with him?”
“Why would I do that? It’s his work. I’d be waiting for him overseas as much as I’m waiting for him at home. At least when I’m home, I do my own thing.”
“I see.”
She looks down, pondering briefly before raising her eyes.
“Listen... You’re probably getting yourself worked up for nothing. Not that you shouldn’t be concerned,” she says, gesturing promptly to stop me from commenting. “Your reasons are valid, but you’re forgetting one thing. You can’t control these circumstances, as much as you can’t control him or what’s happening around him, but you can always make plans for the future.”
“I hate making plans.”
“Me too,” she says, smiling. “But that’s not the point of all this… What I’m trying to say is that you're fueling your anxiety with thoughts about things that are not in anyone’s control. James will do what he needs to do. You can try to sway him one way or another, but he will only do what you want from him if he’s on board with whatever you want him to do. You can’t be with him all the time, but you can certainly make the best of your time with him. And you shouldn’t think of your time alone like big blocks of loneliness. Think of them like chapters of your books. Write something in them. If it helps, visit me in New York when he’s away. You can write over there, and we can meet in the evenings to have a bite and chat. I can tell you about my daily grind, and that, my dear friend, might shine a different light on your life.”
She pauses.
“Thank you for telling me that I’m an ungrateful, immature jerk in your own cute words.”
“You’re welcome,” she says, grinning. “Now tell me a little more about this Thea girl. I need to learn from her.”
“She looks just like you,” I say.
Her eyes widen with surprise.
“No way.”
“Yes.”
“Oh, shit. He really did like me.”
“I think he did. Um... She’s about two years younger than us. She lost her family in a car accident. I met her once. I mean, I’ve seen her more than once, but I’ve only talked to her at a party in California. She’s smart. Pretty. Back then, she was like you, scared shitless when it came to men, or in her case, to Ed. But she was bold as well. She went looking for James once at the Casino to talk to him about Ed.”
“Really?”
“Mm-hmm.”
“Ed and Thea had an argument or something, and he didn’t want to talk to her. It happened a year ago before Valentine’s Day. She tracked James down and asked him about Ed. Like you now, she almost swallowed her tongue when she talked to James, but she made it through and definitely won Ed’s heart.”
Her eyes go vacant for a second.
“I wish I were more like her.”
“I’m sure you can be anything you want to be,” I say as the door opens, and a woman walks in. “Let’s go now. They’re probably waiting for us.”