14. Chapter 14
Chapter 14
Naomi
I feel uneasy after Killian leaves my room. But it isn’t from the disgust I should feel toward him. No, it’s from the shame of finding comfort in him being here. He gave me exactly what I needed, the solace of not being alone along with the peace of the mundane.
When I noticed that the feeling of comfort was morphing into being hyper-aware of his closeness to me, I knew I had to end the night. Him being inches away, even while being respectful of me needing a mental break, was overwhelming. Episode after episode, he didn’t say a word or even turn to look at me. All I got from Killian was exactly what he promised—being there only as long as I needed before being ready to go back to sleep. I pretended to yawn after two and a half episodes and said goodnight. It brings a smile to my lips that we have this whole silly “bad night” thing going.
The lights are off and it’s quiet, but my heart’s racing from all of my conflicting thoughts of what I should feel and what I actually do. I just stare up at the ceiling begging for sleep to come. When it doesn’t, I decide it may be the best time to explore the place without interruption. I give it at least forty-five minutes before I tip-toe outside my door—wanting to give Killian enough time to go to his room and fall asleep.
“It’d be nice if I had a flashlight,” I whisper to myself. Thankfully, unlike my room, the hallways have windows so the moon is illuminating the space.
I’m hopeful that if I remain quiet I can go undetected for now. I know Killian has cameras all over his home, but there’s no way he checks them constantly. Though he likely has them set for motion alerts, I hope he sleeps deeply enough that the notifications don’t wake him. I know my wailing did earlier.
I look in each empty room—there are several. I find most of them empty or with sheets covering minimal furniture. It seems like such a waste of space for two adults to live in such an insanely large compound. Like a moth to a flame, my feet start taking me back to the library. I’m not sure what I’m looking for. Something more to help me take down Killian, hopefully some irrefutable proof. Maybe something to help formulate a plan now that I’m here.
That whole murder-during-sex idea from before sounds really good. But I’ll need a weapon of some kind to pull that off. Maybe there’s a letter opener in the study.
I crack my neck. My God I need to fucking get laid or orgasm or something. These intrusive thoughts and ideas are killing me.
I can’t have sex with him.
Or can I?
“No!” I whisper-shout to myself.
I mean as long as you kill him after, who says you can’t use him before he has to die?
“Fucking fuck,” I whisper as I get inside the study. Deciding to leave the lights off to not draw attention, I continue to allow the moonlight to illuminate the place and be my only source of light. Thankfully, it’s a full moon tonight. I notice the computer this time and head over. There seems to be two-step authentication, a fingerprint and password.
“I wonder . . .” Moving my thumb to the pad I see that I passed the first level. “Holy shit.” I don’t know if I’m creeped out or highly impressed. Now what the hell is the password?
I type my full name. Wrong. Then my birthday. Wrong. The day I know was his version of our “meet-cute.” All of it’s wrong. It says I have two tries left before an alert will go off.
“Ugh!” I groan. Cracking my neck again, I decide to roam the room and focus on thinking about what it could be before trying again.
I walk to the bookshelves that line all the walls. The urge to have a “Belle moment” is so strong, but I don’t want to make too much noise. Looking through the books, I notice there are random trinkets decorating the shelves. It's a very aesthetically pleasing space to look at. I wonder if this was all him or if he hired someone to organize it.
My eyes land on a chest in the middle of one of the bookshelves. Intrigued, I walk toward it hoping to find something of substance.
When I open it, my breath catches in my throat. “Oh my God.”
There’s a tiny red bead laid on top of a scarf. I pick it up to examine it. It’s a simple crystal bead from my favorite bracelet. The one that shattered that day Killian laid eyes on me for the first time at the coffee shop. God, it took so long for us to finally cross paths—we tried so many different days, times, and places hoping he’d show up and notice me. The guy hitting on me was a nice touch in my favor; though, that’s just a typical day in NYC for a woman. I was pretty pissed my bracelet broke in the process though, I really loved that one.
I can’t believe he picked it up and kept it all this time. My heart somersaults. Looking up, I realize there’s an inscription under the wooden chest lid. I walk closer to the window to get a better look. It says: “The moment I knew I was going to fall in love with you.”
Tears fill my eyes. This is all so confusing. The Killian that I’m getting to know here is not who I expected a cold-blooded killer to be. How can this kind and compassionate person be the same evil man who hunted down and killed my mother?
Not being able to see any more, I put everything back where it was and go back to my room. I lie in bed willing sleep to take me.
I just need my mind to shut off.
No reality.
No nightmares.
Just peace—even for a few hours.
Unfortunately, sleep never comes.