Chapter 29
I tilt my head toward the sky. Closing my eyes helps me picture it, though it doesn’t change what I see—everything remains dark.
I still try to imagine how it might look, though.
There are probably no clouds tonight, because the breeze sweeping over my arms, warm and faint, would be enough to blow away any fog blighting the moon.
The stars should be brilliant, unobstructed by puffs of gray.
The soft chirping of frogs and the echoes of crickets whisper around me. Streams rush in the distance as though fleeing from an eternal aggressor. Leaves rustle above, scraping along their branches in an exaggerated response to the lazy wind.
Behind me, inside Pally’s and up a staircase, Ronan sleeps. He must not wake easy, even as I clamored down the hall.
Ever since Ether had gone to her room, I couldn’t shake the feeling that something was wrong. So instead of sleeping, I’d chosen to concentrate on her pulsing eluviam at the end of the hall, but this only teased the heat in my forearm protesting our distance.
When she’d left her room, whisked down the stairs, and fled, I knew I had to follow her. But by the time I stepped into the balmy twilight, she was already gone, taking her enchanting aura with her.
Has she abandoned me? The thought scrapes across my consciousness like a jagged stone.
Before, I’d been utterly helpless when she left.
Now, doubts flood my mind, but my heart remains steadily beating.
Did she suggest venturing into Aldorin so she could finally escape? It seems all too plausible. She didn’t bother to tell us where she was going, and waited until she thought we were asleep before slipping away into the forest.
I heave a sigh as I crouch to sit on the inn’s stone porch.
My feet settle on softer, looser dirt. I lean over my knees and reach down.
The plush soil sifts through my fingers, cool to the touch.
It’s strange how quickly one can adapt to blindness—one second, losing your balance feels like the end of the world, and the next, you begin to trust in what you cannot see.
My fingers lift, and the dirt cascades to the earth.
When was the last time I considered such a simple thing as the ground beneath my feet, how important it is, despite it being overlooked?
Now I understand why sailors and pirates kiss the sand when they finally reach shore, overjoyed to have the solidness of land, the reliability of it, supporting them.
My fingers reach into the dirt, mindlessly swirling.
The memory of Ether’s eluviam makes my heart pang with heaviness. So I begin to turn my random lines into a circular shape, allowing the divots of earth to guide me as I try my best to create what her center looks like.
Her eluviam is a spherical shape with glowing, ever-changing pockets of pure energy throughout it, like fresh footprints on sand that an idle tide might sweep away every few seconds.
As I create, my heart aches, and my arm flares with panic again.
She’d left without a word.
Is she gone for good?
Why else would she have disappeared?
I’m not sure how long I’ve been sitting here, but the lines and shapes have worked themselves into a maze.
I trace the pathways from the start to the end.
You’d think I’d be better able to navigate Ether’s heart with this clear map I’ve created, but even though I know the beginning and end of our relationship, the journey is serpentine and unpredictable.
My hand stops, frozen and hovering over the puzzle of tiny canyons and mountains, before dropping to the ground to smother the patterns away.
What do I know of attraction and reciprocal interest?
I’ve expressed to Ether the troubles I’ve had with matchmaking.
I’d bet she doesn’t remember or care about that gloomy part of my past. Even so, no lady or royal I met ever held my interest. I was to be my future betrothed’s pet, not an equal.
I was to become the queen-maker of a neighboring kingdom, never to return to Arioch.
I’d take my queen’s name and forever forget my lineage.
If I should be thankful for anything related to my brother, it should be for his death. Because now I’ll no longer be expected to meet princesses or attend meetings in secret to determine my future.
Will I be expected to marry once I’m crowned king?
Would marrying complicate the magic tying me to Ether?
I try to picture the elf like how I remember her. Long, dark hair and a delicate face. A petite woman. But instead of an image of her appearing before me, all that lingers is the heat felt every time her hand goes to mine.
“Can’t sleep?”
My neck snaps up, relief gushing over me. How had I not sensed her approach?
Now the mark on my arm slaps my entire body awake. Tears well in my eyes, but I threaten myself not to let them fall.
I’m flooded with happiness. I don’t think I have ever felt so relieved in my entire life.
She hasn’t left me.
She didn’t abandon me.
She’s here now.
My shoulders slump forward so my hands swing freely, brushing against the dirt, and I start to laugh.
Her presence moves closer still, but I can tell she’s wary of me. She’s probably wondering why I’m sitting outside, tracing shapes in the dirt instead of sleeping.
Honestly, now I’m wondering the same thing. If I’d known she’d planned to return, I probably wouldn’t have struggled down a creaky old staircase to hobble disparagingly after her.
She sits to my right.
Closer than usual.
I gulp as the heat of her passes to my thigh.
“What are you doing awake?” she asks, her voice low and quiet. The caution I’d sensed is also there in her tone, shivering under her words. Or maybe she’s…worried?
“I wanted to follow you. I know you left. I sensed it.”
Her foot pats the ground a few times, steady as a drum. She huffs through her nose. “I went home. It’s not far.” Her voice turns playful. “Did you somehow think you could follow me?”
“Why’d you go?” I press, leaning toward her. She doesn’t move, but when our shoulders touch, she squeaks and flinches away.
Interesting.
I shut my gaping mouth.
“I wanted to see Pluto. But then I thought I saw a mage, and I—” she rushes through her explanation, as though unsure of which parts of her eventful night she should leave out, “—I brought you something.”
“Pluto?”
I kick myself for focusing on her reason for her outing.
But I can’t help the jealousy consuming me. Even though I know there’s nothing between them, she’d still gone to meet him without telling us. Without telling me . Why?
“Yes, well, I didn’t find him. Now hold still. I want to see if this works,” she says. The cadence of her voice goes flat as her hands grab my shoulders, twisting me to face her.
“What’s the this you speak of?” I ask, but she hushes me with a finger.
“Close your eyes,” she orders in a tiny voice.
Ronan’s words flash through my mind, reminding me that Ether has kissed me before, without my knowledge. Is she going for it again? Would she be so bold? Why else would she ask me to close my eyes, if not to avoid staring into them as she presses her delicate lips to mine?
My jealousy has vanished, but her shamelessness has rendered my heart dysfunctional.
Despite this, I manage to obey. My eyelids squeeze shut, and I clench my teeth together.
To think not even a few moments ago, I’d been worried—truly worried—about the possibility of my elven master abandoning me.
And now…now I’m leaning forward, preparing to accept a kiss from the creature, my mind racing, my heart stumbling, as if the idea of her absence had been nothing but a fleeting, foolish fear.
Sweat mists my neck and arms, and my breathing hitches.
We sit in agonizing silence for a few moments, and I dare not inch closer for fear that neither of us is ready to enter into such close intimacy. But my heart increases its pace, impatient.
I realize it’s most likely the swooshing lines on my arm coercing me, but an unquenchable craving for her fills me. I want her. Does she want me too?
I sense her leaning closer to me, so I lean too.
The heel of her hand rests under my jaw, and I can’t help the shiver that shoots down my spine.
This subtle touch alone is enough to make me want to take control and pull her closer, sealing the gap between us.
But I resist, and my heart begins its slow descent to the depths of a bottomless pit of agony.
“Ether, I’m not sure I’m ready for?—”
Something cold, wet, thick, and heavy globs over my left eye. It smells sweet, and at first feels frozen, but then starts to burn like something acidic.
I push her hand away and stand, grunting as the pain seeps through my eyelid, searing the flesh around it.
“What in the seven hells did you do ? Are you trying to kill me?” I cry, rubbing the paste from my eyelid. This seems to force more of it into my eye, sending a stinging pain through my skull. Tears track down my cheeks, desperate to rid my body of the foreign substance. “Agh! It hurts!”
Ether’s hand rests in the crook of my arm, and she wordlessly coaxes me to sit down again with a slight tug.
I groan at the lingering pain.
“Shh,” the elf coos.
I take deep breaths. “It burns.”
“I know. If I told you that from the beginning, would you have let me do this?”
“Of course!” I huff, tossing my arms in frustration. “I’d rather have known what you were doing! You had me thinking a million different things. I thought you were going to kiss me or…or!”
Or what ? That was the only thought I’d had on my mind.
My first kiss.
A wicked, selfish desire.
Ether waits a moment before she speaks again. She doesn’t address my comments.
“I’ve brought a healing ointment. I witnessed it being used to cure the blind, so I wanted to check if it works on humans too,” she says stiffly.