Chapter 7 A Chance at Forever
Dean
Two hours earlier
I stand by the large window in my room, watching my mate return from her final security check of the night.
Rain started pelting down an hour ago, and I’ve been here ever since, waiting for Hazel to get back safely. I wanted to teleport to her and drag her out of the rain, but I knew she wouldn’t appreciate me barging in and making demands.
I knew Hazel took the kingdom’s safety seriously, but I didn’t realize how much of her time and energy she pours into it every day.
In the month we’ve lived under the same roof, I’ve noticed she barely sleeps three, maybe four hours at night before waking up at ungodly hours to do it all over again.
I’ve stationed more than enough warriors across the kingdom, hoping she’d slow down, get some rest, but Hazel acts like all hell would break loose if she slept an extra hour.
I swear, the day she starts taking anything I say with a grain of salt, I’m convincing her to stop rising with the fucking sun.
I sigh as she strolls down the path, a small skip in her step, like the rain soaking her doesn’t bother her.
Her hair sticks to the sides of her face, clothes clinging to her skin, but there’s a serene smile on her lips that’s stopping me from storming downstairs with a towel and drying her off myself.
My hands curl into fists when she pauses just outside the castle. Her head tilts back, and for a second, I think she’s caught me watching her like a creep, but then her eyes close, letting the rain droplets fall on her face.
She looks… alive. Content.
The need to keep that smile on her lips hits me like lightning.
Before Hazel, I thought I was cursed. I had asked the Sisters of Fate about my mate, and when they didn’t give me a straight answer, I just assumed I’d spend the rest of my life never knowing what it felt like to belong to someone.
I already ached for my soulmate, so the revelation of never having one felt like a punch to the gut.
Then I saw her. My raven-haired miracle who stole my heart in a single glance.
I know her past is holding her back from letting me love the fuck out of her, but she hasn’t realized I’m just as stubborn. I didn’t spend two decades praying for a miracle just to let her slip through my fingers.
I’ll carve a place for myself in her heart, and by the time she notices, it’ll be too late to kick me out.
A relieved breath leaves me when she finally walks inside.
I wait until I hear her bedroom door lock before grabbing my pillow and comforter. I press my ear to the door, listening to her move around, not daring to move a muscle until she finally settles into bed.
I count to ten to make sure she won’t come out swinging with a dagger before carefully opening my door. My steps are silent as I cross the hallway and set up my pathetic excuse for a bed outside her door.
I scratch the back of my head, grimacing at the pitiful setup.
Fates, it’s so embarrassing doing this every night. I feel like a fucking creep, but my stubborn siren has left me no choice. She barely looks at me during the day, and there’s only so much a man’s heart can take before the hurt makes it hard to breathe.
Before I started sleeping outside Hazel’s door like a lovesick idiot, my Divine was driving me to the brink of insanity.
The ache in my chest got unbearable until I wanted to rip my heart out to get a single moment of peace.
I knew being near my mate was the only thing that would settle my Divine enough to stop tearing my insides with raw need for her.
I rest my head against her door with a sigh, bracing for another night on the cold, hard floor before I’d have to wake up at the ass crack of dawn and slip back into my room so Hazel wouldn’t see me.
A sharp pain in my chest jolts me awake. The hair on the back of my neck rises, my instincts screaming that something is wrong. I whip my head around… and that’s when I hear it. A choked gasp. Footsteps pacing on the other side of the door.
Why is she awake at this hour?
Hazel is mumbling under her breath, too low to make out, but I can feel her panic crawling up my throat. I feel her fear in my bones, and I’m on my feet instantly, ready to knock, but then I feel her moving in my direction, and I lose my bravery.
Hazel will skin me alive if she finds out I’ve been sleeping out here, so I snatch my pillow and blanket and rush back to my room. I’ve barely shut the door when I feel her presence outside.
Did she find out? Is that what spooked her?
Her ragged breathing gets worse, twisting something sharp in my chest. I wait for her to knock, to finally come to me for a change, to tell me what’s wrong, but nothing happens.
Hazel, please… just knock once.
I count the seconds, hoping—praying—for a signal so I can throw the door open and pull her in. I want to help her with whatever she’s fighting, but minutes pass, and she still doesn’t knock.
Fuck.
I’m done waiting. I throw caution to the wind and crack the door open, and my heart drops at the sight of her walking away.
My grip tightens on the knob when she stumbles, barely keeping herself upright, but she still doesn’t come to me. Her breathing is uneven, her hands shaking as she walks past her room and heads downstairs.
She’s walking away from me. Again. Like I was never an option. She’s in pain, scared, and I’m an idiot for thinking she’d come to me for comfort.
I don’t think before following her. As I pass her room, I glance inside, searching for what could’ve rattled her, but everything looks untouched.
Hazel doesn’t stop until she reaches the Horsemen castle. Her real home. The place she feels safest.
I ignore yet another crack in our foundation and follow her. My heart pounds in my head, but I’m careful not to make a single sound. Even if I did, Hazel is too lost in her head to notice.
She’s never this careless. She’s always alert, if a little paranoid.
Is there a security threat? Is that why she’s scared? But then why didn’t she come to me when I was right next door?
I stop around the corner when she reaches Nevaeh and Anxo’s room and knocks, the sound slicing through the unnerving silence.
The moment Nevaeh sees my mate, her eyes widen in horror before she pulls her inside.
Did I miss something? Is she hurt?
I couldn’t see her face, but if she were hurt or bleeding, she wouldn’t walk all the way over here instead of coming to me first, right? I trace our steps back, and my shoulders slump when I don’t find any blood.
Fates, why is this so fucking complicated? I hate feeling like I don’t know my mate’s heart, hate knowing I’m not her safe space, hate being the last person to know when she’s in trouble.
When I return to Nevaeh’s room, the room is slightly ajar, and I can’t stop myself from moving closer.
It takes a second for my eyes to adjust to the dark before I find Hazel lying beside Nevaeh.
Her head rests on the edge of Nevaeh’s pillow, forehead tucked into my daughter’s shoulder.
She’s clutching Nevaeh’s arm like a lifeline as her eyes fall shut.
Soft snores pull my attention from my mate. I can barely make out the shape on Nevaeh’s other side. August is snuggled against her mother’s side, one leg thrown over her stomach, her arm wrapped around him protectively.
My worry for Hazel tangles with the loss that haunts me constantly.
Every time I think I’ve made peace with the past, I see something like this, and it reminds me how much of my daughter’s life I missed.
It feels like yesterday she was the little girl climbing into my bed, crying about the thunder god ruining her sleep, and now she has a child of her own reaching for her on nights like this.
Every time I see her… the scars… I hate it.
I hate the time I lost with my little girl. All the moments that could’ve been ours, shopping trips, learning makeup together, embarrassing her about boys, talking shit about people. I hate that I missed her catty teen years.
I missed half her life, and now she’s a grown woman who doesn’t need me to tie her shoelaces, scare the monster under her bed, or sneak out for ice cream in the middle of the night.
Anxo steps out of the closet with a thick blanket and gently drapes it over all three of them before nodding for me to follow, quietly shutting the door behind him.
I follow him to the kitchen, dropping into a stool at the island and burying my head in my hands.
Anxo starts making tea, probably wanting to keep his hands busy. His jaw is tight, veins pulsing at his temple like they’re going to explode.
I’ve known him long enough to recognize his worry, but unlike me, he knows exactly what’s eating Hazel.
His patience, his understanding of my family… it’s just another reminder of how I failed him. I dumped everything on his shoulders and let my grief drag me away so far from home that I didn’t recognize myself anymore.
I’m grateful he took such good care of my family, but he is family, too. I should’ve been here for him instead of becoming another burden he had to carry.
Anxo settles across from me, sliding a mug toward me before taking a sip from his, and I watch the tension slowly drain from his shoulders.
The tightness in my throat makes it hard to swallow, but I don’t have a choice. I need answers about my mate.
“Was it a nightmare?” I ask.
Anxo rubs his temple. “Something like that.”
“Has this happened before?”
Anxo tilts his head, studying me. “How much do you want to know?”
I don’t hesitate. “Everything.”
He shakes his head, lips pursed, and I know my answer has somehow both pleased and disappointed him.
He takes another sip before speaking. “When Hazel first got here, she slept in the living room. Not to rest… to guard the doors. She was convinced Tiberius was coming for her. She wouldn’t let herself relax for even a moment, but it got better… eventually.”
Anxo exhales. “But I was wrong. She just got better at hiding it. One night, after Nevaeh came back, Hazel was standing outside our room, shaking, pale like she’d seen a ghost. She didn’t say a word while Nevaeh cleaned her up. She passed out before I could even ask what happened.”
I’ve noticed how close they are. It’s almost unsettling how well Nevaeh and Hazel understand each other. Maybe it’s the shared trauma.
He takes our empty cups, washing them with his back to me. “It hasn’t happened in a while, so I thought things had calmed down. I thought she was finally free.”
“What changed?”
Anxo’s grip tightens on the sink, metal creaking under the pressure before he turns, his face grim.
“The day we went to find Harvey in the human realm, someone tried to shoot Hazel. Nevaeh took the bullet and killed the assassin, but when we found him, he was…” Anxo gags. “He was a gooey puddle on the ground. I’ve never seen something like it.”
He runs a hand through his hair. “Her paranoia has been getting worse since.” He hesitates, looking guilty as he admits, “I thought things would change when you arrived. That’s why I pushed her to live with you. Mates… they heal what others don’t even realize is broken.”
“We don’t exactly act like mates,” I mutter, frustration biting at my words.
“Dean, I don’t want to interfere. I want you both to figure it out, build something worth living for, but I have a feeling you’re running out of time. Tiberius is getting close.”
I don’t know much, but from what little I’ve heard, I want to bury the Jellyfish King in my backyard and throw a dance party on his grave.
Anxo swallows, head bowed. “And it’s not just the intruder or Hazel’s nightmares. Something is wrong. It’s a stench in the air, like something is rotting, but I can’t find it.”
I wish I could call it paranoia, but I feel it too. Ever since the attempted breach, the air has been thick with anticipation. With dread.
One thing is clear, if Hazel’s past is catching up to her, she needs her mate now more than ever. The laid-back approach isn’t working. It’s time to retire it.
I need to prove myself to Hazel. Show her I’m on her side, no matter what. I need to be loud as fuck about my intentions so she can’t ignore me anymore.
I’m done pretending I’m okay with friendship or respectful companionship. I want her love. Her heart. Her soul.
I’m going to make my mate fall head over heels in love with me, and once she’s mine… I’m never letting go.