Chapter 9 Two Sides of a Coin
Hazel
I don’t know why I keep coming here. He’s Dean’s horse. He should be the one dealing with this whiney, clingy animal, but Diamond is pissed at his rider and won’t let him get close. And because Dean can’t apologize to a horse properly, I’m the one paying the price.
After the last time he nearly bit off Dean’s pinky, he has wisely kept his distance. Coward.
Every time I pass the stalls, Diamond—the Grim Reaper’s supposedly terrifying horse—neighs so loud that I can’t ignore him. I gave in once to stop his pathetic whining, and now it’s a ritual he expects me to complete every other day.
At first, I just sat nearby so he’d stop terrorizing the other horses, but then the stupid horse headbutted me because I wouldn’t pat him.
I swear he’s just as annoying as Dean, if not more.
Diamond huffs, shoving his head against the stall like he’s threatening to break it if I don’t come closer.
“Don’t you dare break the damn gate.” I step closer, and the fire that licks his hooves and tail flares brighter. “If you burn me, I’m never touching you again,” I warn, even though I know he would never do something like that.
He nudges his nose in my palm, then loops his head around my shoulder, dragging me into a hug.
A laugh bubbles in my chest. “You’re so bossy.”
He acts like a grumpy asshole, but he melts the second I start grooming him.
I can complain all I want about how similar Dean and Diamond are, but the truth is, I see a lot of myself in him. We never got the chance to be soft. And now we don’t know how.
Everyone thinks our sharp edges are all we are. They’re not entirely wrong.
I’ve spent the last ten years with blood on my knuckles and my daggers dripping in blood. I wanted people to be afraid of hurting me. But I didn’t realize when I stopped feeling anything but the anger consuming me until it was too late.
I stopped believing in Fates and their plan a long time ago. For years, I was forced to stay quiet, to accept torture as my life, and they didn’t help me. No one did. I was the one bleeding until I stopped taking the hits and gave them a taste of their own medicine.
I’ve just started grooming Diamond when Grace links me that she’s finally going to see a human doctor. I’ve been hounding her for weeks, but she kept brushing it off like throwing up four times a day wasn’t serious.
Humans are ridiculously stubborn.
When Harvey first told us Grace wasn’t feeling well, Dean damn near lost his fucking mind. It wasn’t hard to guess how he’d react when he found out they were going to the human ream to see a doctor.
If something is wrong with Grace, it would set him off. Dean is just as unhinged as Nevaeh when it comes to their family. I admire that… even if it scares the rest of us a little.
The Blackburns already walk a thin line when it comes to morality, and when push comes to shove, they don’t hesitate to cross all lines for their people.
Dean needed a distraction, so I decided to kill two birds with one stone and asked Jackson to help me with my next prank. It didn’t hurt that it pissed Dean off. That was fun.
Ever since Grace left, Dean has been on edge, and it’s messing with my stupid Divine because we’re apparently on our way to becoming one. Whatever the fuck that means.
No matter how much I try to convince myself I don’t care, there’s a constant tug in my chest pushing me toward him. The more I resist, the tighter it pulls.
If only I knew how to give in without everything falling apart.
I’m cleaning up after spending nearly two hours braiding Diamond’s mane when Anxo links me, his voice tight. “Come to the War Castle. Quickly.”
“What’s wrong?”
“I don’t know. Harvey and Grace are back, but they refuse to say anything until everyone’s there.”
I pat Diamond’s head, apologizing for ditching him early, and take off toward War. I ignore the stares, people gasping like the kingdom’s on fire.
Why is everyone here so fucking dramatic?
In the distance, I spot Anxo and Dean running toward the castle and remember they were supposed to visit Luke today.
I’ll have to check with Khatri to see if Luke’s still alive. His torture session came at a very bad time. I wouldn’t blame Dean if he finally lost control and finished the bastard.
I shove the door open and rush inside, Dean and Anxo right behind me.
We find Grace and Harvey in their living area. Seiji and Jackson are already here, watching Grace lounge on the sofa, sipping coconut water like her mate didn’t just scare the life out of all of us.
Nevaeh rushes in, August at her side. “Who died?”
August drags a hand over his face. “Mama…”
“Sorry. Old habit.” Nevaeh grimaces. “What’s wrong?”
Dean goes straight to Grace, brushing the back of his hand against her forehead. “What did the doctor say?”
Harvey steps up behind his mate, pressing a kiss to the top of her head. “Your moment to shine, darling.”
A bright smile takes over Grace’s face, her eyes filling with tears.
“I’m pregnant!”
Cheers and gasps erupt as everyone crowds Grace and Harvey, pulling them into hugs and congratulations.
August climbs onto the sofa to snuggle against Grace, but Harvey scoops him up and tosses him into the air, his carefree laughter filling every corner of the house with so much joy.
Dean looks stunned as he pulls Grace into a gentle hug, whispering something that makes her laugh even louder.
The crowd around Grace thins when Harvey starts growling at anyone who holds her too long or squeezes too tight. Overbearing asshole.
Everyone is buzzing with so much excitement, already talking about the future that includes a baby now, while I stand off to the side, watching it unfold without me.
The distance hits me hard, knocking the air out of my lungs until I’m choking on emotions I don’t know what to do with.
Why isn’t that my instinct? Why can’t I walk up to Grace, hug her, and ask her how she’s feeling? What am I so afraid of that I can’t even congratulate Harvey on finally getting his wish to become a father?
These people are everything I have, everything I call mine in this world, and I’m still standing far away from the celebration like an idiot, biting the inside of my cheek until I taste blood, blinking hard when my vision turns glassy.
I’m so fucking broken it’s embarrassing.
Someone bumps my shoulder. I don’t need to look to know it’s Nevaeh. She’s the only one who isn’t afraid to push my limits because she knows how flimsy they really are.
When I turn, there’s a glint in her eyes, and I know whatever comes out of her mouth next is going to piss me off.
“Congratulations, Sharky. You’re going to be a grandma.”
Any other time, I would’ve smacked her head hard enough to hear the broken parts inside her skull rattle, but I freeze on the word ‘Grandma’.
Grace pushes off the couch, and Dean is immediately at her side. “What’s wrong? Are you okay? Is the baby okay? Why are you standing? Harvey, why is my daughter standing? I thought you vowed to love and support her?”
“I did, but you’re filling the ‘over the top crazy’ quota all on your own.”
August leans forward from where Harvey is still holding him and pats Dean’s back. The tiny gesture breaks the tension, and everyone coos at how adorable August is for trying to calm Dean.
“Dad, breathe. Everything is fine. I’m fine,” Grace laughs.
Then she turns to me with a smile, and I forget how to breathe. I wouldn’t be this afraid of saying the wrong thing if her eyes weren’t shining with so much joy it hurts to look at her.
If I get this wrong, I could lose everything.
“Are you happy?”
Does she even have to ask? This is the happiest I’ve ever been. I’m barely holding back tears. But I’m told my face doesn’t say what I feel, which means I’ll have to say something.
Save me, Lord Lucifer.
Grace laughs, used to my constipated range of emotions. “Hazel, you’re supposed to congratulate me.”
I know.
I want to.
It feels silly to be this anxious over a simple gesture. It’s just a fucking hug. People do it all the time.
So what’s holding me back? Why is it so hard to reach for the happiness right in front of me? I can’t let Tiberius steal this, too. I’ve already lost enough. I can’t lose my place here. I can’t lose these people.
For years, I’ve let Tiberius haunt my life, my happiness, my freedom. But for how much longer? If I let him, his darkness won’t just cast a shadow on me, but it’ll reach them, too. Even this baby.
Grace and Harvey’s baby isn’t even here yet, and I’m already letting fear overshadow the announcement of his life.
If I’m right, Tiberius is closing in, and my time to feel this might be limited.
Maybe it’s time I give myself permission to be happy. Even if it doesn’t last.
I take a shaky breath and step into Grace. She freezes, but I don’t let myself think too hard, or I’ll lose the nerve. Her eyes widen comically as I raise my arms and carefully pull her into a hug, barely squeezing.
I don’t think either of us breathes for a full minute before Grace melts against me. I hear her sniffle, and my throat tightens, but I don’t pull away.
It’s fine. Everything is fine. No need to panic.
A breath whooshes out of me when she hugs me tighter. Fuck, is the baby giving her super strength already? It’s half Harvey, so anything is possible.
“Please don’t make your baby call me grandma,” I plead, and Grace’s shoulders start shaking, her laugh filling the cracks in my heart.
“Deal.”
When I pull back, every eye in the room is on me. I swallow, staring down at my boots to avoid explaining why I’m suddenly hugging Grace after breaking Seiji’s pinky for trying the same thing last year.
“I hope it’s a girl,” Dean blurts out.
I look up, and his eyes are already on me, but instead of the questions I expect, there’s only understanding.
He’s distracting them. For me.
“You think you can handle a granddaughter?” I challenge.
His smile is immediate. Effortless. “Of course. I’m a girl dad through and through.”
Harvey’s scoff mixes with mine, but I’m glad he jumps in to set Dean straight because I’m too busy untangling my tongue after that smile.
“No, you’re not. Nevaeh is basically a guy with anger issues and an obsession with wearing her mate’s clothes.” He points at Nevaeh’s hoodie, which once belonged to Anxo. Then he turns to his mate. “And Grace is like those creepy, obedient kids you find in cults.”
Bullseye.
Nevaeh folds her arms, scowling at Harvey. “I don’t have any anger issues!” She swats Anxo’s chest, “Angel, tell him I don’t have anger issues.”
“You think I’m creepy?” Grace whispers, her eyes filling with tears. Again.
She already cries too much. The whirlwind of hormones is going to make it worse.
“Oh no, darling, that’s not—” The panic on Harvey’s face is so entertaining that no one steps in to help. He dug this grave. He can lie in it.
Everyone’s too busy talking over each other, arguing about nothing and everything, to notice Dean wink at me.
But my heart doesn’t miss, skipping a beat like an offering at his feet.
Fuck.