Chapter 32
Hazel
I’m standing outside the Horsemen castle.
Every time I try to step forward, something inside me screams to turn around and run.
“Are you going to stand there forever?” Nevaeh’s voice cuts through the chaos in my head, and I squeeze my eyes shut.
I can’t stop the guilt from creeping in after what happened last night.
She walks up until she’s right in front of me and scoffs when I refuse to meet her eyes.
I know I look angry, but the fire inside my chest won’t ease. It feels too big. Too heavy to hold. I’m afraid it’s going to swallow me.
“What are you so scared of?” She asks, point-blank.
“Everyone will finally see the disaster I’ve brought to their doorstep and want nothing to do with me.” My jaw aches from how hard I’m grinding my teeth.
Nevaeh sighs, dropping on the step and patting the space next to her.
“You know what I kept thinking after my trance broke last night?” I lower my head, bracing for the tongue lashing. “That maybe I shouldn’t have killed Visha.”
My head snaps up so fast that something clicks in my neck.
Nevaeh has never apologized for the darkness inside her. She fights her Divine every second to stay in control to keep herself and us safe. Visha spent ten years trying to break her, but Nevaeh always picked herself right back up and fought even harder.
Hearing her take the blame for something so far out of her control stops the storm raging inside my head.
“Visha warned me something was coming. Right before I killed her, she gave me a riddle. Now I know she was trying to warn me about Tiberius. She knew things about him we still don’t.
And she was willing to help. But I was so blinded by revenge, I didn’t stop to think.
Maybe none of this would be happening if I’d taken her prisoner instead. ”
Horror twists in my gut. The thought of asking her not to do what was right just because it might’ve changed the future feels wrong.
She deserved that justice. No one gets to take that from her.
Nevaeh catches my reaction and smirks.
There it is. The real her.
Fuck. I should’ve known this was a setup to drag me out of my own head.
“You think I’m being stupid, don’t you?” She laughs when I nod, grabbing my hand and squeezing it. “Visha got what she deserved. She died when it was her time. And Tiberius will too soon enough. None of this is on you, it’s that douchefucker’s fault.”
I laugh, the weight in my chest easing for the first time since last night.
“Now come inside. Everyone is waiting for you. Seiji and August are eating everything in sight, so please hurry up and save my kitchen.”
Nevaeh stands, but before she can walk away, I blurt out, “I’ll never be enough for him. I’ll always need Dean more than he needs me.”
Her head jerks back, brows pulling together. “And I’ll always need Angel more. That doesn’t mean I don’t give him everything I can. Maybe I’m not his safe place the way he’s mine, but that doesn’t mean I love him any less. Love isn’t 50-50, Hazel.”
I swallow hard, staring down at my boots to hide the sting in my eyes.
When I look up, Nevaeh is watching me with a soft smile. “Don’t be afraid to ask for more. We’ve both lived without much for too long. We deserve more. You deserve everything good in this world. And if Papa isn’t making you happy, you tell me, and I’ll set him straight.”
I shake my head with a smile. “He makes me happy. More than I ever imagined.”
“Good. Now stop frowning and come inside.” With that, Nevaeh turns on her heels, and I have no choice but to follow.
A buzz of different conversations overlaps as we walk in, but Seiji’s voice cuts through everything. “I can’t believe I’m saying this, but I almost miss dealing with Visha.”
Everyone stares at him like he’s lost it, but he throws his hands up.
“Hear me out! At least she was straightforward. Hated Nevaeh, attached directly. Tiberius makes her look pathetic. She was like the first villain in a series. You just know it gets worse from there.”
I sigh as I drop into the empty chair beside my mate. “I hate to admit it, but I agree with him.”
I raise a brow at him when Seiji holds out his fist expectantly.
“Absolutely not.” I shake my head.
“What? You hugged August, we saw you dancing with Dean… and kissing him. So what, you won’t fist bump me because I’m not adorable like the kid or hot like your mate?”
How is that even a question? “Yes.”
“Wow. Just stab me in the heart, why don’t you?”
A grin breaks across my face, and Seiji’s shoulders drop in relief.
I knew the idiot was trying to make me smile.
Once everyone gathers in the living room, I ask how Tiberius got in. Harvey explains they found a small, almost invisible crack in the portal, enough for his essence to slip through and get into our heads.
Jackson leans back with a grimace. “We’ve seen what Hazel can do, but he feels worse.”
Seiji scoffs. “I disagree. Hazel is way scarier.”
That might be the sweetest thing anyone’s ever said about me.
I want to break this awkward barrier I’ve created between us, and now, thanks to Seiji, I have the perfect excuse. I take a deep breath, and before I can talk myself out of it, I hold my fist out toward him.
His eyes widen, but he quickly catches on, then gently—almost cautiously—bumps his knuckles against mine.
That was the lamest fist bump ever.
I hear a sniff, and when I look at him, he’s wiping under his eyes. “I knew you loved me!”
Oh no.
Then another fist appears in front of my face. Harvey is looking at me wide-eyed, the picture of innocence as he waits for his turn.
“Seriously?”
“It’s your fault. You’ve been starving us of your affection.”
“Never say that again.” I still bump his fist, and he throws it in the air in victory.
I’m starting to understand why Anxo keeps saying he’s surrounded by idiots.
He’s not wrong.
Nevaeh clears her throat, pulling everyone’s attention back to the topic at hand. “I don’t remember the details, but I remember feeling like the portal was calling to me. I needed to cross it. It felt… desperate. Like everyone I loved was on the other side, and I had to reach them.”
“Maybe Tiberius was trying to lure you somewhere you’d be vulnerable and alone,” Grace mulls over.
“She’s right. I thought he just wanted to hurt us, but now I think he wanted leverage. To lure Hazel out.” Harvey’s jaw is clenched so tight it looks painful.
“He wants to hurt the Horsemen for hiding me from him.”
I glance at Dean, and he has officially moved on from frustrated to seething.
“Let him try,” he growls, dragging my chair closer to him until our thighs are pressed together. “She’s my mate. I have the markings to prove it.”
Of all the times to say that…
I didn’t think it was possible to feel all the blood rush to my face at once, but judging by the heat crawling up my skin, I’ve definitely turned red.
“What markings?” Nevaeh asks, because, of course, she does.
What if I slide under the table right now? That wouldn’t be weird, right?
“Oh, I finally figured out what the blue marking on my back means. It’s in Hazel’s language and clearly says I’m hers.”
Fates, that’s so sweet.
Someone kill me now.
Dean is smiling so wide that I don’t have the heart to tell him that he just shared far too much about our private life that I’m comfortable with.
“Really?” Neveah is shocked, but Grace keeps sipping her tea, hiding a smile behind her cup.
Of course, the little bookkeeper knew all along. I don’t even want to think about everything she keeps tucked away.
Dean launches into an explanation, practically glowing as he tells them about the mark, about how we were meant to be.
“So Dean was blessed by fates, too, and none of us knew?” Harvey asks, stunned.
“Maybe that’s why they never punished me for stealing that Divine.
” Dean leans back with a smirk. “I flipped heaven off on my way into hell, and not a single warning. The angels complained, sure, but fates? Even God? They didn’t care when the Grim Reaper stole something capable of changing the power balance in the universe. ”
It’s true. It never made sense to me how Dean stole raw Divine to create Nevaeh and faced no consequences. Elijah wasn’t going to punish him since he was involved, but the fates? No one gets away after tricking them.
Silence settles over the room as everyone processes it.
In that moment, everything else fades. My fears, my doubts. Sitting here with my family, seeing how they reacted to my past with nothing but support… it makes my heart feel lighter.
Dean finds my hand under the table and squeezes twice. He’s always here. I’m starting to believe he always will be.
“So no one’s going to talk about how Hazel has seen Dean naked?” Jackson grabs the back of Seiji’s neck and shoves his head into his chest, hiding him behind his broad biceps.
It does nothing to hide his laugh, and it fuels everyone to start teasing us.
I grab the lamp in front of me, but Dean snatches it before I can throw it. “Let’s stay on topic, yeah?”
Nevaeh sobers under my glare and clears her throat. “Alright, so here’s my theory. Tiberius couldn’t get into Hazel’s dreams because of the pixie potion, and it tipped him over the edge. His ego was hurt, and he couldn’t let it slide. So he got creative.”
She’s spot on. I knew he wouldn’t like that I cut him out, but I didn’t expect him to retaliate this fast.
The crease between Grace’s brows deepens. “But that potion blocks her ability to link with anyone. I don’t like that she wouldn’t be able to call for help if something happened. It’s too risky.”
“I might have found a solution.” Anxo rubs his hands together, a sly smile tugging at his lips.
“Oh no. What did you do?”
He laughs. “Stop glaring. I just talked to the vampire king.” He cuts me off before I can react. “He wanted to help. And he had some great insight on how to build mental walls. Vampires use it to erase themselves from their prey’s memory. It can hold for years.”