Chapter 40 Holding on to you
Dean
A week later
Seven days of waiting. Seven days of nothing.
Once the healer checks on Hazel for the fourth time this morning, I slip out to take a quick shower.
I hate leaving her, even for a second, but it’s not like she’s missing me, or she would’ve woken up by now.
It’s been a week since we left Eldoris, and Hazel still hasn’t woken up.
At first, I was sure she’d be back on her feet any day now, ordering me around like nothing happened.
But even after Anxo spent hours at her side, piecing her memories back together, and Grace fed her potion after potion, there’s been no change. Not even a twitch.
I don’t want to admit it, but I’m starting to panic. I’m getting tired of pretending I’m fine just so no one notices I’m losing my fucking mind.
If she never wakes up…
I can’t even finish the thought.
My chest tightens until breathing feels like dragging air through broken glass. Fuck. I can’t even think about it without falling apart.
I turn the shower off and dry myself as fast as I can. I don’t know when it started, but the longer I’m away from Hazel, the worse it gets. My hands start shaking, my chest locking up, every step turning heavier than the last. I can’t go more than a few minutes without seeing her.
But it’s not my fault. It’s hers.
Why is she still stuck in fucking dreamland while I’m out here begging her to wake up every hour like a broken clock?
I swear she can hear me. She’s just doing this to torture me.
Every day is the same. I wake up pissed at her for leaving me like this.
By noon, I’m worrying she’ll get sick if she doesn’t wake up and eat something.
By evening, I’m sitting on the edge of the bed, counting every second she doesn’t move.
And at night, I curl up beside her, holding her while I fall apart, crying myself to sleep.
I don’t know how much longer I can do this without losing my damn mind.
Maybe if I threaten to throw away all her daggers, she’ll wake up to save them. She’d stab me first, but I’m willing to take that risk.
What the fuck am I even thinking? If she doesn’t care about me, why would she care about her stupid daggers? I’m obviously more important.
So yeah. Entering week two without my mate means living on the edge of delusion.
The bathroom door shuts behind me, and when I look up, expecting to see Hazel lying exactly where I left her like a fucking statue, I freeze when the bed is empty.
What the fuck.
“Hazel?” I turn in a slow circle, scanning the room, but there’s nothing. No movement. No sound.
I even check under the bed like an idiot. Like women in a coma sometimes roll off the bed for fun.
She’s not here. In our room. Where I left her.
Because she was supposed to be asleep. Or unconscious. Or whatever the hell this is.
Fucking hell… did someone kidnap my mate!
“Hazel!” I run out of the room, checking in every room, every corner, until a vibrating hum cuts through my panic. It slices through the chaos in my head like a lifeline.
Hazel.
My shoulders drop instantly at the familiar sound. She’s awake.
I focus on the pull in my chest, on the faint tug that’s always been there, and let it guide me to her like my body knows where she is before my mind can catch up.
Her hum is weaker than it was the day she killed Tiberius. Whatever power she held that day is gone. Now it’s soft again. A quiet whisper that still calls to me every time. And I’d follow it anywhere.
So I do. So I do. I let it lead me through the twists and turns of our home until I push open the door to the backyard, Hazel’s favorite place in the kingdom.
The waterfall.
It takes me less than a second to find my mate, standing in the waterfall with her back to me.
I step closer, my gaze catching on the pile of clothes discarded in the grass.
A small smile pulls at my lips despite everything. She’s so different from the last time I found her here.
Not broken. Not running. Just… here.
Hazel senses me and turns.
The breath gets knocked out of my lungs at the sight of her, and when she smiles—so soft and content—it hits me harder than anything else.
My eyes burn, and I drop my gaze, wiping them quickly before she can see. I’m not ready for her to see how close I came to breaking.
Hazel lifts her hand, beckoning me into the water.
I don’t hesitate. I strip quickly and step in, the cold barely registering as I swim toward her.
I surface just as I reach her, and she closes the remaining distance, wrapping herself around me.
“You’re awake.”
“Did you miss me?”
I swallow, letting the truth spill out. “More than you’d ever know.”
She smiles again, her eyes turning glassy, and that’s what breaks me.
My head drops into her neck, and everything I’ve been holding back crashes through me at once. Fear. Anger. Relief. All of it.
Watching her fall that day almost killed me. I knew in that moment that if I lost her, I wouldn’t survive. There wouldn’t be anything left of me.
Her fingers slide into my hair, holding me close, and when she starts humming, it settles something deep inside me, stitching me back together without even trying.
I press my face into her neck, clinging to her. “I was so scared. If something happened to you...”
Her hand cups my cheek, urging me to look at me. “I love you, Dean.”
Something inside me finally gives way.
I kiss her like I’ve been drowning and she’s the only air left, pouring everything I feel into it.
She takes it all without hesitation, grounding me, pulling me back to her until it’s just us.
Her hand moves between us, and she pauses just long enough to meet my eyes. I nod, and she slips me inside her. My hand moves to her ass as she lowers herself on my cock, and I hold her tighter, anchoring her to me as I move.
She’s gripping me like she’s afraid I’ll disappear. I know exactly how she feels because I’m barely pulling out of her before quickly thrusting back in, afraid of staying out of her for even a second.
Her gasp in my ear on my second thrust damn near has me exploding inside her, my balls clenching painfully.
We move slowly, not rushing, not chasing anything. Just… holding on like we have all the time in the world. The water shifts around us as we move together, steady, unhurried. It’s exactly what we need right now.
One arm keeps her lifted, the other slides between us, tracing slow circles on her clit that make her breath hitch.
“Say you’re mine,” she whispers like she needs to hear it, just like I do.
“Yours.” I move into her, her walls fluttering with every word. “All yours.” Her breath catches, and I know she’s close. “Only ever yours.”
She falls apart with my name on her lips.
I keep moving inside her, keep pushing her over the edge again and again until I’m all she can think about, until she knows how much I love her, until I’m coming inside her, promising to be hers until my last breath.