Chapter 49
Present
Siggy came round gradually. She’d been aware for a time, before she realised where she was, that there was an ache in her body that felt as if she’d been crushed beneath a herd of elephants.
When she tried to move, she realised, the pain was worse in her chest, as if the heaviest elephant had sat there for the longest time.
‘Siggy.’ Her father was holding her hand. His expression was creased into a million lines of worry. Her eyes bounced around the ward. She was in hospital. But it was so quiet, nothing but beeps and hushed noises, as if someone had padded the place out with cotton wool to soundproof it from reality.
‘What happened?’ she whispered. It was only now she realised her throat felt as if it had been sandpapered dry. ‘Can I…’ She looked towards the small paper cup in his hand.
‘Ice, I’m afraid that’s your lot for now.’ He smiled at her, relief flooding his features. He was crying, but she had a feeling these were tears of joy.
‘What… how did I get here?’ she croaked.
‘Long story.’ He shook his head. ‘The hotel went on fire. We were lucky young Danial Val spotted you going into the place. He ran in, risked his life to get you out of it, darling girl, you’re lucky to be alive.’ He started to cry again, big silent tears racing down his cheeks.
‘The hotel caught fire? How? I mean…’
‘I don’t think they properly know, but it was… The guards will be looking into it, but none of that is important. All that matters is you are okay. The doctors say, a little rest and you’ll be fine.’
‘So… I don’t understand, I mean…’
‘Little girl, there isn’t a mark on you, we are so lucky, it could have been a very different story.’
‘Where’s Mum?’ Because suddenly, Siggy had the most terrible fear creep over her. Her mother should be here. Had she gone into the fire too?
‘Don’t worry. She’s here. She’s fine. She went to get a cup of coffee. Only one of us can be here at a time and so…’ His voice trailed off; there was something he wasn’t telling her. That was the thing about her dad, he didn’t know how to make a poker face – so much so, he never bothered trying.
‘I’ll get her, if you want…’ He started to get up.
‘Hang on, what about Rae? And Danial, are they alright?’
‘They’re fine. Rae wasn’t even in the hotel when it went up. And Danial – well, I’d say he’s the village hero after this. He’s got a few bruises and some burns, but nothing that’s going to keep him down for very long. He’ll be out of here by tomorrow morning.’
‘That’s good.’ A good measure of tension seeped from her body with that. Everyone was okay. ‘And the hotel? What’s that like now?’
‘Honestly, I don’t know, but I’d say it’s a goner.’
‘That bad?’
‘Siggy, when something like this happens and you realise what you have to lose, it’s amazing how your perspective changes. Your mother would have knocked that place to the ground to get you out of it safe and sound,’ he said sadly.
‘What about Rae? What will she do now?’ Because the hotel wasn’t just her aunt’s job, it was her home too. It was all she had, really, apart from walking on the beach and going to her Soroptimists’ meetings.
‘Rae is going to be fine. She always had her priorities in the right order; she knows that life doesn’t begin or end just because of bricks and mortar. She’s not as sentimental about the place as you might think.’
‘But where will she live?’
‘Anywhere she wants to, I suppose. There’ll be insurance.
She can live with us, if she fancies it – Rae will be fine, don’t you worry.
Now, I’m going to get your mother, she needs to see for herself that you’re alright.
’ He bent down and kissed the top of her head and all the worries she’d had about him and Fiona seemed suddenly to amount to nothing.
He was her dad and now, in this moment, that was all that mattered.
‘Oh, darling Siggy.’ Her mother looked a lot worse than Siggy felt. ‘I thought… I really thought…’ She dropped down on the chair next to Siggy’s bed. ‘Thank God, you’re okay, I can face anything so long as you’re alright.’
‘Mum, what on earth?’ Siggy had never seen her mother so diminished.
It was as if she had somehow contracted by a good sixty per cent, so now, she was a watered-down version of her usual self.
‘I’m alright, come on, it’s grand.’ Although the more she spoke and tried to pull herself up on the pillow, the more it felt as if gravity had multiplied and it was dragging her back down. ‘Really, there’s no need to be upset.’
‘Didn’t your father tell you?’ She was as pale as the moon.
‘Tell me what?’ Siggy felt her heart dropping like a stone in her chest. ‘What else? Someone didn’t make it? Who?’
‘No. Not that. It’s me.’
‘I don’t understand.’ Siggy tried to reach out to take her mother’s hand, but there was no reaching it, and her mother didn’t move to bridge the gap.
‘I did it. I set the hotel on fire. This is all my fault. I almost killed my own child – I don’t deserve to be here. I don’t deserve you. I never did, nor Kip neither, although I’m only realising it when it’s too late.’
‘Mum, seriously, you did not set the hotel on fire. You wouldn’t, you just wouldn’t.
’ Siggy was almost laughing, but she knew even as she said the words, all she felt was a growing hysteria working its way through her brain, into her body, along her nerve endings.
‘You’re wrong. You love the hotel. You’re in shock. That’s it. You’re just in shock.’
‘No. Siggy. No. I know what I did and now…’ She hung her head and everything about her spoke of a deep shame.
‘Why on earth would you do something like that?’ But maybe Siggy already knew. It would be about letting the place go. She wouldn’t be able to stomach someone else owning even a square foot of the Hope Square Hotel.
‘You know.’ Her mother looked at her now.
‘Better to burn the place to the ground than let anyone else have it?’ Siggy said and her voice was dry, but this time, not just because it felt as if she’d been dehydrated on industrial levels.
‘I’m such a terrible person. That’s exactly how I felt.’
‘And now?’
‘I’m so sorry. I’ve been wrong about everything.’
‘Oh Mum, don’t say that.’ She was talking about that terrible fight they’d had. ‘I said awful things to you, things I didn’t mean…’
‘But you were right, you were right about it all. I have no place telling you that you should stay or go and…’ She looked so miserable.
‘The thing is, Siggy, I thought by keeping you on the island, I could keep you safe, but look at what happened, you almost died, right there on Hope Square.’ Then she sat a little taller, firming up that backbone everyone knew her for.
‘You were right. Danial Val is worth ten times any of us. He saved your life when I might have been responsible for…’ She stopped. ‘And the worst thing is, it was me.’
‘Shush, Mum, you didn’t mean it. You were just stressed, I mean, look at the last few weeks.’
‘No, Siggy. Not that.’ She shook her head, looked down at the floor as if she wanted it to swallow her up.
‘I sent that vile text. I put the rumour out around the village that Danial was a wrong one. I wanted to split you two up, to get rid of him, because I…’ She stopped.
‘Well, before any of this meant anything to me, I had a… an experience. And it scared me and since then, I’ve judged everyone that isn’t…
like us,’ she looked at Siggy now, to see if she understood.
‘That isn’t,’ she sighed, ‘one of us. I’m sorry.
I’ve judged them all, simply because of one terrible thing.
I’m so, so sorry, my darling. For everything. ’
Outside the cubicle, the nurses had begun to flap about and Siggy tried but failed to see what was happening.
‘I’m sorry,’ a nurse poked her head around the door, ‘but the police are here to arrest you,’ she stopped, suddenly embarrassed, looking from one to the other of them. ‘It’s probably nothing,’ she smiled unevenly at Siggy. ‘Just a chat. Right?’
‘It’s okay,’ her mother said then. She bent down and kissed Siggy’s head, stayed close to her, for just a second longer.
‘I have to go now, but I love you, Siggy, don’t forget that, no matter what happens, yes?
’ she said and then she rose from the chair, stood for a moment as if she was taking in everything about her now completely shell-shocked daughter for the final time and then she turned towards the door and walked out of the ward.
‘I love you too, Mum,’ she whispered when she caught sight of a young guard stepping forward to read her mum her rights, before leading her off down the corridor and away from Siggy. And that was when it hit her, exactly how much trouble her mother could really be in for setting fire to the hotel.