CHAPTER 28
Troy
THE NIGHTLIFE IN Santorini is wild.
An ABBA remix is blasting from two giant speakers. Horny tourists crowd the colorful bar. And a string of lights glows against everyone’s hot skin on the outdoor dance floor.
Dimitri turns to me and says, “You can go and relax for a bit, if you want. I can watch him.”
He points toward our rowdy younger brother, who’s chatting with a girl by the steps. Karl met her by the pool after we arrived at the resort earlier this afternoon. They’re the same age, already exchanged numbers, and are currently staring at each other like they just found their soulmate.
To be young and dumb.
Dimitri’s the one with a girlfriend, so I half-suspect that’s why he’s giving me the option to wander off.
“It’s fine, I’ll just stay with you,” I say. “I’ll go get us some appetizers, though. The usual?”
He nods.
I set the pita, tzatziki, and olive spread onto our table once I’m back. Dimitri eagerly takes a slice. “So, no bar hopping this time.”
“How does it feel to finally have a girlfriend?” I say.
His gaze flickers with some strange hint of confusion. “It’s nice.”
“Is it serious?” I tilt my head at him quizzically.
“Maybe. It’s too early to tell. What about you? Is there a reason you’re sitting next to your older brother instead of going out?”
“Eh, maybe later.”
“I know this isn’t about Dad.”
This is why even if there’s a time when I’m annoyed at my brothers, I still love them; they always notice when something’s off.
“I feel guilty for being here. When she’s not,” I admit. “This was her favorite place.”
Empathy spreads across my older brother’s face. He brings a hand and rests it along my shoulder. “Being here without her fucking sucks. But she’d want you to have a good time. Remember what Mom used to say?”
Yeah, I remember.
There’s no time to be sad in Santorini.
“And, well, you look sad, and I hate to break it to you, but you’re currently in Santorini. So get your ass up and dance.”
Without meaning to, I laugh louder than I expect.
Still smiling, my eyes lock with this girl who’s dancing near the bar.
She looks like she’s a few years older than me.
Dark brunette waves, blue eyes, plump lips, pale skin that’s rosy from lying out on the Mediterranean coast all day.
She has every feature Ana has, I realize.
Except she looks nothing like Ana. At least not to me.
Feeling like I’m in a video game, I get up from my seat to approach her.
She introduces herself, and I look at this girl—who’s a stunner—noticing just how much she resembles Ana, even more now up close.
But the more I look at her, I wonder how she also could never be Ana.
Maybe it’s her niceness, how this girl is actually smiling at the things I’m saying.
At the very least, pretending to enjoy my company after a second of meeting me.
When the Ana back home who has known me for almost my whole life never once cared if she was hurting my feelings or not.
The girl drops her shawl that’s draped around her shoulders, revealing a bejeweled crop top. It’s in the shape of a giant butterfly. Ana’s obsessed with butterflies, so much so that she dressed up as one for Halloween in kindergarten.
Why the fuck am I thinking of that when there’s this insanely hot girl in front of me?
Focus, dude.
She leans in, much closer, giving me a generous display of her full tits. Normally I’d be all over this woman. But right now I’m thinking of my annoying skating partner (again), while she starts to play with the top button of my blouse.
Yeah, that’s not how this was supposed to go…
_________
One of the most beautiful places in the entire world, and just being here without her feels wrong.
I mentally slap myself with the reminder of my older brother’s words from last night. The thing is, everywhere I glance, it’s like I see my mother even more.
If it’s not through the orange trees swaying around the villages, it’s in the cobalt blue and white painted trinkets. Or the salty air she couldn’t wait to take in when we’d arrive at this same resort.
Shoving those memories out, I’m reminded of Ana’s reaction to this trip. How she thought this vacation was for pleasure.
Far from it.
Ana’s probably skating night and day until I’m back.
The thought makes me laugh.
While lying by the pool, Karl’s voice rings in my ears.
“I’m going to the beach, but I’ll be back for dinner.”
I remove my sunglasses to find two girls standing a few feet away from us. I recognize the girl he was with yesterday but not the other one. My brows furrow at Karl.
“Should I be concerned?”
“Nope,” he chirps.
“Just be careful.” The girls giggle when Karl turns around and flashes them a smile. I sigh. “And no, I don’t wanna know the details.”
Dimitri and I trust Karl. We’ve already given him the whole “birds and the bees” schtick.
While we wanted to refuse to believe that our little brother who’s not-so-little now was engaging in sexual intercourse, Dimitri and I realized, again, that we probably started even earlier than he did.
The least we could do was make sure he’s safe.
Karl laughed at us when we dreadfully handed him a box of condoms last summer.
Which told us everything we needed to know.
He already had his own stash. Of course we gagged amongst ourselves.
“Hey.” A girl plops down on the towel-covered lounge chair beside me once they leave. She looks younger than the girl I danced with last night. Closer to my age.
“Hey,” I say.
“Can you help?” She drops her swim wrap, wiggling a can of sunscreen spray my way.
“Uh, um, yeah, sure.”
This girl’s also hot. And her string bikini’s lethal. My dick, by reflex, responds to seeing her half-naked body eagerly dangle the sunscreen in my face like it’s some toy she’s baiting me with. A seemingly innocent gesture that promises very dirty things.
The last time I did this, the girl in question and I ended up in my hotel room bed. Now my mind starts racing again. And not in a good way.
God, I’m so fucking out of it.
Why do I feel guilty that I’m here? Surprisingly, this time, it isn’t about my mom.
It’s about Ana. I know I’m already doing my part for our practices, and yet, I still feel bad that I’m not there with her. Like I’m letting her down.
You let me down, Troy.
I can’t even look at you right now.
Go.
Those were Dad’s words when I told him I had finally decided to stick with figure skating. That I wasn’t going to do hockey. The way he had hoped the side practices he’d pushed me with from ages 4-10 would somehow change my mind.
There’s no room left to wonder if you disappointed your father when he tells you directly, at ten-years-old, that you did exactly that.
_________
Tonight’s dinner is supposed to be just the four of us, even though my brothers and I found out that a few of our cousins flew in from Sweden, later in the afternoon, as a surprise.
When I arrive at the resort’s fanciest restaurant, Dimitri and Karl are already seated at our dining table. Fancy lights. Fancy tablecloth. Fancy food. Fancy attire. Yet, no signs of our father.
I take my seat.
“A date?” I ask, but already know the answer.
“Yup,” Dimitri mumbles, visibly annoyed, while Karl tensely bites over his bottom lip.
“That’s a record.” I scoff. “Even for him.”