Chapter 20 Kaspar
Kaspar
The second Max released my hand to climb the ladder, coldness seeped into my veins.
I’d betrayed him.
He’d compared me to Eric, and the thought that I could ever hurt him the same way made ice form in my heart.
My chest constricted with the rise of panic.
Max said he didn’t hate me, but I didn’t believe him. And to make matters worse, all those people died because of me.
We’d lost members of our crew. Because. Of. Me.
Once everyone found out what I did, they’d want to throw me overboard, and I… I’d definitely let them.
It wasn’t like Max and I had any kind of future, anyway, so what the hellfire did I have to lose?
My sister and nephew would miss me, but Kayla would find a way to take care of herself and Cody without me. Plus, if I was hooked up to a machine draining my magic, I couldn’t help them anyway.
So if the choice came down to jumping or being a lifeless energy source, I was choosing the sand pancake option.
I grimaced at the mental image, and my belly cramped. I wasn’t sure I could truly follow through with that, especially when I knew how badly it’d hurt Max—no matter how angry he was at me, I knew he’d be upset if he lost another crewmember.
The last thing I wanted to do was hurt him again, and I really, truly didn’t want to leave him—ever.
Not through disembarking and never returning, and certainly not through the more permanent option.
I cringed again when I saw the tense set of Max’s shoulders in front of me as we climbed the final ladder to the main deck. I’d given him something else to worry about, and when he turned around and said, “Don’t leave my side. Please,” I knew he was thinking about what I’d said.
I searched his gaze for a few seconds, then quietly said, “I won’t do anything stupid, Max. I promise.”
He nodded after a few tense seconds, but before he could respond, Ariella and Willy moved up beside us, and Ariella asked, “What’s going on? How are we in the air right now?”
Max opened his mouth to answer, looking extremely uncomfortable, and I decided I didn’t want to make him lie for me, especially not to his only real friend on the ship. It wasn’t like I was going to be able to hide this any longer, anyway. So I said, “I’m a fluxweaver.”
Willy’s eyes widened for a beat, and then he grinned. “That’s badass.”
I… wasn’t sure how to take that.
Ariella’s eyebrows rose so high, they disappeared in her hairline. “Are you serious?”
“Yep.” I sighed and ran a hand through my hair. “I should’ve charged them sooner. I… how many did we lose? I could’ve saved—”
She cut me off by grabbing my wrist and yanking me to the side, her eyes wide as she glanced around. The group of us moved into a little alcove under the quarterdeck stairs, hidden from view. Ariella checked that no one was within hearing distance before she spoke.
“No, Ghost. No, this isn’t your fault. It wasn’t up to you to ensure we had enough power to make it through the desert in the first place.
Viper’s experienced enough to know that nothing ever goes to plan out here.
There’re always storms and monsters and ship battles and whatever else that throw us off course and make the journey take far longer than it should.
It wasn’t your responsibility. Do not carry those deaths on your shoulders. ”
“But I could’ve charged them before we stopped. I could’ve—”
“No.” She squeezed my wrist. “It was too risky, and you had no idea how bad it would get so quickly down there. It’s not your fault.”
Willy added, “She’s right, you know. Everyone knows how dangerous it is for”—he lowered his voice to a whisper—“fluxweavers, especially in Sunada. I’ve heard that fluxweavers become the living dead.
Everyone fears it’ll happen to them or a family member, everyone.
That isn’t a fate any of us would wish on anyone, let alone our friend.
You couldn’t tell anyone. Especially with the captain. ”
They were being so generous with me, even after I’d lied to them for so long, that tears pricked my eyes.
I sniffled and wiped my eyes with my shoulder, staring at these two amazing people who’d become like family to me in such a short time.
Relief bloomed in my heart. They didn’t hate me.
They weren’t even mad at me. More tears built, but I rubbed my eyes to stop them from falling, then I stared at my friends.
“I… thank you.”
Ariella waved me off as if what they’d both just given me wasn’t the biggest gift I’d ever received. But it was. She had to know how much their acceptance meant.
She glanced around, checking for any eavesdroppers. “Does Viper know?”
I nodded. “Unfortunately.”
She grimaced. “That’s exactly why you couldn’t tell anyone before.” She looked at Max. “What’re we gonna do? He’s gonna hook Ghost up like a machine for the rest of his life if we don’t stop him.”
“I’ll keep him safe.”
Ariella made a face. “How? Are you going to take over as captain and push him out? Because that’s the only solution I see.”
Max’s face went through a complicated array of emotions from shocked to confused to annoyed to mad and back again. “No. I’m not the captain, Ariella.”
“You should be,” Willy said.
Max’s eyes widened, then flicked between our two friends before landing on Ariella. The two of them shared a long look before Max turned away, seeming to stare into space while she frowned at him.
After a few seconds, I said to her and Willy, “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you guys.”
Ariella shook her head. “There’s nothing to be sorry about.
I know what it’s like to be hunted for what you are.
It’s not safe to tell anyone something like that.
” I supposed, out of everyone, she’d understand.
Being a weaver herself meant she’d likely had to face similar circumstances at some point in her life.
Windweavers weren’t hunted the same way fluxweavers were, but there were absolutely people who’d love to take advantage of any kind of weaver.
“Yeah, well, that ship has sailed—ha, pun.” Definitely not funny, and my laugh was beyond weak. I sighed. “Everyone’s gonna know now.”
“We can make up some story about Murray finding another source or something. Maybe we can say he found an anchor-grade fluxstone in the hull,” Max suggested.
Ariella raised a brow. “As much as I wish we could, no one’s going to buy that, Reap. We might not be the smartest bunch, but we’re not quite that stupid, either.”
“She’s right.” Willy grimaced. “No one’s gonna buy that story, and I don’t think it’ll be hard for everyone to figure it out.
How many other times have we been in shit situations with little to no fluxpower?
No one in the crew has ever done anything like this before, and Ghost is the only new person on the ship. ”
Ariella nodded. “They might not make the connection right away, but it won’t be long before they do. And once one of them figures it out, the rumors will spread.”
Max closed his eyes and let his head drop back for a few seconds.
“Alright. Just… don’t talk about it right now, okay?
Let’s get the ship fixed before we worry about anything else.
” He turned on his heel and left without another word, making me wince at his abrupt exit.
Although, he didn’t go far, and I knew without asking that he was keeping me within his sights.
He’d meant it when he’d said I was staying with him.
I couldn’t very well just… stand there beside him and do nothing for the rest of the night—not only would Viper not stand for that, but I wanted to help. So standing nearby would have to do.
“Wow. He’s pissed.”
“Thanks, Ariella, I hadn’t noticed.” I rolled my eyes at her.
She grinned and nudged my chin gently with her fist. “Cheer up, bucko. He’ll get over it.” Then she too walked away.
Willy sent me a soft smile and awkwardly patted my arm. “It’ll be okay. Reaper’s in your corner.” He nodded toward one of the broken masts. “Come on. Let’s help before we get yelled at and have to do something scary like fix the broken wing or something.”
I definitely didn’t want that job. Even being harnessed up wouldn’t make me want to climb out onto the wing of the ship to make repairs. Between the strong winds and having to balance, I was sure I’d fall… many, many times.
My body was worn down between the fight with the storm, the battle with the sand kraken, and powering up the fluxstones.
I could barely keep my eyes open at this point, but that didn’t matter.
They were right. We needed to help. If we didn’t get the ship repaired quickly, we’d wind up back in the sand, and I doubted we’d get lucky twice.
So with a sigh, I joined the rest of the crew in helping with repairs.
Hours and a ton of sweat later, the repairs were good enough for us to take a rest period.
There were some things we couldn’t do while flying, but we were able to move forward now.
We wouldn’t be outflying any other ships anytime soon, but we had the height to stay safe, and since I could recharge the engine fluxstones, it didn’t matter that it would take us a little longer to reach our destination.
As the sun began to set, Viper stood on the quarterdeck, hands on the rail overlooking the main deck. The captain watched us with an eager eye as we crowded in front of him at his request. Max stood beside him, glaring angrily. Although I wasn’t sure, I figured he was stewing in his anger at me.
Dragon balls. That definitely wasn’t a good thing.
Once everyone was there, Viper held his hands up, the light from a flux-powered lamp casting strange shadows across his face, and the crew quieted down.
“Everyone fought hard today, and we can now claim our glory over the mighty sand kraken!”
“Our glory?” Hawk-Eyes whispered from beside me. “He didn’t do shit, the prick.”
“He locked himself in his chambers,” Moonie whispered back.
Sage grunted. “He’s a coward.”