Chapter 22 Kaspar #3
Our lips were touching, our breaths mingling, but neither of us moved for a long time. My eyes were closed as I rested against him, my body feeling light and sated and wrung out.
I couldn’t help but wrap my arms tight around his shoulders, fingers digging into his hair, as I held him against my chest in a big hug.
There were so many things I wanted to say to him, so many things I wanted to promise, but we didn’t have forever, and I didn’t want to say things that would only make our separation hurt far worse than it already would.
So I kept my lips sealed shut and held him, hoping with everything I was that he could feel how much I cared about him, how much I’d always care, no matter how far apart we were from each other.
Max held me just as tightly, and I swore it was like he was whispering those same affections back to me. Whispering those same three words that were on the tip of my tongue.
My eyes felt watery, but I held them back, not wanting to ruin this wonderful moment.
But after a few minutes, I had to kiss him, so I leaned back, cupped his cheeks, and pressed soft, sweet kisses to the corners of his mouth, then right on his lips, over and over and over again.
Max’s hands gripped my back tightly, and I knew without a shadow of a doubt he was feeling the same things as me.
Affection, fondness, heartache, and… and love.
I hugged him against my chest again, pressing more kisses to the top of his head and wishing this moment would last forever.
But I knew it couldn’t, and I knew we would wind up stuck together if I didn’t move soon. So I gently pulled off of him and plopped on the bed beside him, feeling boneless and sticky with sweat and our seed.
Max turned his head to face me, so I mirrored him before we both moved at once, kissing each other. It wasn’t a long kiss, but I felt it all the way in my heart anyway.
When we broke apart again, Max smiled lazily at me, then picked up my hand and kissed my palm.
He kept my hand in his, playing with my fingers and casually kissing my knuckles every now and then while we caught our breath.
The sweet gesture melted my heart even more and made me wish we never, ever had to leave his room.
But eventually, Max broke the silence as he leaned up on his elbow. “Let me get something to clean us up.”
Oh hellfire. I should’ve done that already. “Let me get a cloth.” I started to sit up, but Max placed his hand on my chest, stopping me.
“I’ve got it.” He pecked my lips, then sat up before pushing off the bed and standing on his leg.
He glanced back at me, and I didn’t miss the vulnerable look in his eyes. I knew he was worried about me seeing him move around his room without his prosthetic on, so I didn’t want to make a big deal about it. I simply smiled at him, and he turned his back to me. My eyes widened.
The moonlight from the small window gleamed across his sweaty skin, revealing a dark tattoo covering his entire back. I sat up to get a better look, but it wasn’t difficult to see what it was. A reaper. The detail was astonishing, and the tattoo was actually quite gorgeous.
But Max hated being the Reaper, so why in the world would he have gotten one tattooed on his back?
Had he gotten it to push the Reaper legend further? Or was this just one more thing he’d done to punish himself? He hated what the Reaper represented. So I couldn’t imagine he’d get a tattoo like that because he actually wanted it.
“Woah, Max. I didn’t know you had another tattoo.”
He tensed a little. “Oh. I forget about it since I can’t see it.” It was clear it made him uncomfortable, and I didn’t want to ruin this amazing night, so I dropped the conversation. For now.
“You have a really great ass,” I said, changing the subject.
His shoulders dropped. “Uh, thanks.”
“You think I could take a turn on it sometime?”
He glanced over his shoulder with a smirk. “Think you can handle me?”
I laughed. “I think I can handle that ass just fine, thank you.”
With a chuckle, he hopped over to the wash bowl on his dresser. “I wouldn’t mind giving you a turn.”
“Really?”
“Yes. Why do you sound so surprised?”
I shrugged even though he wasn’t looking at me. “Don’t know. I wasn’t sure you’d want to receive.”
“I like it both ways.”
“Me too.”
“Good to know.” He shot me another smirk, then went back to cleaning himself up.
I decided I’d have to ask him more about his tattoo another time.
Right now, he was letting himself be fully vulnerable with me, showing me a side of himself that he hid away from everyone else.
Even being fully naked with me wasn’t something I’d take for granted.
Letting me see him move around his room without his prosthetic on was a big deal, and I didn’t want to make light of that or to—goddesses forbid—bring up another sore spot.
I honestly couldn’t even believe he was letting me see him this way.
My heart swelled so big with affection for the man, I was afraid it would burst right through my ribcage.
When he came back over with a washcloth for me, I leaned up to kiss him lightly before letting him wipe off my belly, chest, and ass.
“Thank you.”
“Anytime.” He dropped the cloth on top of his dirty clothes, then climbed back into bed.
As soon as he lay down, I scooted up to rest my head on his shoulder. He wrapped his arm around me and kissed the top of my head. Then, because I simply had to, I nuzzled the hair on his chest for a few seconds, kissed him there, and settled back on his shoulder.
When I glanced up, he seemed amused, but all he did was press a kiss to my forehead, making me sigh at the sweet gesture.
We were quiet for a few minutes, and I thought he was falling asleep until he whispered, “Let’s stay here forever. Never leave this room.”
“That sounds like a great plan to me.”
He sighed, kissed the top of my head again, and pulled me tighter to him. I wrapped one arm and one leg around him, practically clinging to him like a barnacle, wishing it could come true even knowing that it couldn’t.
My heart swelled and broke in equal measure, so I buried my face in his chest and held him as tight as I could, breathing him in and memorizing his scent, memorizing the way his chest rose and fell with every breath, memorizing the curves of his muscle, the softness of his skin, memorizing every single thing about the man, every single moment I had with him.
Hoping with my very being that I’d be able to remember this moment for the rest of my life, even when we were separated.
Wishing on the stars outside his window that we’d never be parted, though I knew it was inevitable.
Closing my eyes, I held on tight to the man I wanted to spend the rest of my life with, even knowing I couldn’t.