Chapter 31
CHAPTER THIRTY-ONE
Maggie
I don’t know if my initial anxiety about coming to this barbecue was my own or if I was picking up on Jack’s obvious nerves.
Probably a little of both, if I’m honest. Jack’s so rarely nervous, that seeing him fidgety and out of sorts, especially as we were walking up to the house, had all my senses on high alert.
After we got into the party, and I saw all of his teammates giving him shit about bringing a woman for the first time ever, it all fell into place. He wasn’t nervous about bringing me, exactly, more about how I’d handle the banter of his teammates and if I’d be upset by it.
It seems like it’s all in good fun, though.
And they obviously care about Jack, everyone I’ve talked to has taken an interest in getting to know me, asking how exactly my relationship with Jack came about.
I stick with the story we’ve been telling all along—we started dating right after they got knocked out of the playoffs and have been enjoying spending time together this summer.
“If you have any questions about how things work once the season starts, let me know,” Marissa offers.
“Oh, wow. Thank you.” I take a sip of my water to cover my uncertainty.
Jack and I haven’t talked about what happens when the season starts next month.
We’d said originally that we weren’t going to put an end date on things, and I assume that’s still the assumption we’re operating under, but what will things look like then?
Liam will be back in school, and obviously we won’t be able go out every Friday night.
He’ll be traveling for games every other week or so.
Plus, I’ll have court proceedings to think about …
Is this, whatever we have going on, sustainable in the long term?
Is it smart to involve Liam with Jack and his teammates?
Or should I have listened to my first instinct which was to pull back?
To wait until at least the six month mark before involving Jack more in Liam’s life.
Because the last thing my kid needs is for another man to show up, act like he cares, and then vanish into the ether.
And even if we both think this might be able to work out in the long run— if being the operative word—who’s hurt by waiting?
I just don’t want to risk Liam getting attached. So far, he thinks Jack’s cool—taking us to the movies and buying popcorn and candy did a good job in that regard—but I don’t think one movie and one barbecue where they’re not even spending time together are enough to cement anything.
You’re taking things as they come, remember? That’s what you decided , I remind myself. The last thing any of us needs is for me to spiral out in the middle of a barbecue with Jack’s teammates.
“First batch of burgers is ready!” Nick calls from his spot at the grill.
There’s a table next to him with food set out buffet style, and there’s nearly a stampede of people heading over there to claim their food.
“Dogs for the kids will be up in five!” And that triggers several people to disperse, I assume collecting their kids so they can be ready for food as soon as the hot dogs are ready.
“Should I go get Liam?” I ask Jack, and he looks like a deer caught in the headlights at my question, then swivels to look around.
“Uh … maybe?” He grimaces, facing me. “Sorry. I’ve never paid that much attention to the kids at these things. Do you want me to ask Nick?”
Marissa stands. “I’ll come with you, Maggie,” she says, smiling. “I need a refill on my drink anyway.” She picks up her glass.
“Perfect.” Leaning over, I give Jack a kiss on the cheek. “I’ll corral my child and make sure he eats. Be back in a bit.”
He captures my hand in his fingers before I can get up, his eyes searching mine. “You sure you don’t want me to come?”
Laughing lightly, I give his hand a squeeze. “I don’t think we need a whole search party. Stay and chat with your friend. I’ll be back soon, I promise.”
His gaze warms, and he gives my fingers a return squeeze. “Okay. I’ll be waiting.”
Dozer lets out an over the top, “Awwww,” at his statement that has me cackling while Jack flips him off. “There’s kids around,” Dozer sing-songs in response. “You’re gonna get in trouble!”
“I know you said you and Jack started dating after they got knocked out of the finals. So was that in May?”
“Well, June. Early June. So it’s been about two months now.”
“Wow,” Marissa says. “That’s great. I met him for the first time last Thanksgiving. He lives in the same building as Dozer and me, but I don’t see him that often. I know him more by reputation than personally, but he’s always seemed like a good guy.”
I wrinkle my nose at her comment about his reputation. “So I know a little about his reputation …”
She gives me a pointed look. “You should know that you can’t believe everything they say about these guys.
Did you see that one video that basically blamed Bouchard—Jack—for losing the playoffs?
” I wince, trying to hide my grimace, but Marissa doesn’t seem to notice.
“Dozer was so pissed about that video. He was ready to find that guy’s studio and go down there.
” She shakes her head, grimacing along with me now.
“I don’t know how much you follow hockey, but Dozer’s a defender, and while that’s obviously a hockey position, he takes that job seriously in more ways than just defending the goal, you know?
He defends his teammates just as vigorously.
But real life isn’t the same as on the ice.
It’s okay to drop your gloves and pummel a guy on the ice for going after your teammate.
You can’t do the same thing in real life, no matter how much you want to. ”
My eyes widen as I finally realize what she’s getting at, then a rogue giggle escapes. “That guy’d deserve no less than to have Dozer roll up and punch him in the face for that stunt.”
Marissa laughs too. “Right? I agree. Still, though. I don’t think an assault charge would help the Emeralds’ reputation.”
“Yeah,” I say slowly. “That’s probably true.”
“I’m glad Jack found you, though. He’s different with you.”
That has my eyebrows jumping up. “Oh, yeah? How do you mean?”
She gets a far off look in her eyes and shakes her head.
“Not bad different. Just … more mellow, you know? Like he’s more settled into himself, not trying to put on a show for anyone else.
” She spears me with her gaze. “I see the way he looks at you. I know it’s still new, and I hope I’m not freaking you out, but I can tell he really likes you.
And it seems like you really like him too. ”
My cheeks warm. “I do. He’s … he’s really great.
Kind. Thoughtful. All the things I …” I trail off, hesitating.
I don’t need to trauma dump on this stranger.
I did that a lot right after I split up with Kyle.
It was like once I could finally say all the things I wasn’t allowed to admit out loud before, I couldn’t stop myself from telling anyone and everyone who’d listen.
It didn’t take much to get me started. Ask even a tangentially related question, and I’d word vomit everything.
It just kept spilling out of me, even when I knew I was way oversharing.
But Marissa gives me a knowing look. “All the things you never thought you’d find? Or maybe all the things someone in your past taught you that you were too much for wanting?”
Oof. “Yeah.” I let out an awkward chuckle, trying to dispel the sudden heaviness. “That.”
“Same, friend.” She lightly bumps my arm with hers. “I know that feeling all too well. It kinda rocks your world when you find it, doesn’t it?”
Another chuckle. “Yeah. It’s … it’s been an adjustment, that’s for sure.”
“Don’t let it scare you off, okay? I know it’s easy to think there must be something wrong that you just can’t see yet, but that’s not always how it is. Sometimes people are just … good.”
I take a deep breath, but before I can say anything, Liam runs up to me, all smiles. “Mom! Is everything okay?”
I smile back, giving him a quick hug. “Everything’s great! The hot dogs are almost ready, and I thought we should load up your plate with everything else so you’re ready to go once they’re fresh off the grill.”
“Yay!” He jumps up and down. “I’m starved.
” Falling in step with Marissa and me, he regales us with tales of the new friends he’s made and the games they’re playing—tag, mostly, and how they made a rule that anyone under five has to be tagged three times before they’re it, kids between five and eight have to be tagged twice, and anyone over eight only has to be tagged once.
“I’m impressed with how fair your rules are,” Marissa chimes in, and it seems like Liam actually notices her for the first time.
He looks at her like, Of course we’re being fair , then says, “Who are you?”
Laughing, I pull him against me. “If you want to know who someone is, it’s more polite to introduce yourself and then ask their name.”
Stopping, Liam turns to Marissa. “Hi. I’m Liam. Are you friends with my mom?”
Marissa glances at me, smiling. “Hi, Liam. I’m Marissa.
It’s so nice to meet you. Your mom’s doing a great job of teaching you manners.
My mom would be impressed. And your mom and I just met, but I hope we can become friends.
” To me, she adds. “I moved here late last summer, and I’m still building my people.
Tina’s great, and she’s made me feel really welcome at games and these kinds of events.
Hopefully we’ll see you both a lot more. ”
All my thoughts about needing to pull back, to not involve Liam so much in all of this, come rushing to the forefront of my mind.
I offer a smile and shrug a shoulder. “I don’t know about that, exactly, but I’m always happy to make new friends too.
” I do like Marissa, and even if things don’t work out with Jack, I could use more friends.
I’m friendly with a few moms from Liam’s school, mostly his friends’ moms, but I’m too busy to do the field trip chaperone or PTA volunteer kind of thing, so I don’t have a lot of opportunities to build those relationships.
And it’d be nice to have a friend who actually wants to be friends with me and isn’t just someone I chat with because our kids get along.
Marissa smiles at me. “Perfect. I’ll be sure to give you my number before the barbecue ends.”
“That would be great.”