16. Fiya
Fiya
I didn’t want to act like a big baby, but I was scared to stay alone another night. Smoke had been busy the last few days and nights. I wasn’t sure what it was that had him busy, but whatever it was had him stressed out. He tried each night to have me come to his house, or he wanted to come to mine, but I had told him not to worry about me.
Smoke had business to handle at his house tonight. Tired of the lonely nights, I agreed to return to his house, where he made love to me before I fell asleep. Freshly showered, fed, and sexed down, I had fallen asleep and hadn’t woken up again until I heard my phone ringing on the nightstand.
I flipped onto my side and noticed a call from Noel.
“Hey, boo.” I greeted him in a groggy voice.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to wake you. I just wanted to tell you good night before I turned in and that my flight leaves at eleven tomorrow morning.”
“No problem. Good, because I miss you.”
“What are you doing? Watching TV?”
“No. I’m in Smoke’s bed.”
“Damn. Sorry about that. Did I interrupt hot sex?”
I snorted. “Not hardly. I was probably snoring, and he’s probably downstairs in his office still working.”
He sighed. “Be careful, Kai.”
“About?”
“Smoke. I mean, I know that he treats you well and puts you first, but he’s a dangerous man.”
“He won’t hurt me, Noel.”
“I know. But sometimes men can make enemies who come after those we love.”
“Noel, he protects me. He even mentioned marriage tonight.”
“He did, or you did?”
“He did.”
“Mm.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“Men have been known to marry women to keep her from testifying against them.”
“What are you saying, Noel?” I hissed as I sat up in bed.
“Just saying that Smoke can be a dangerous man. When I was running late to the airport, I ran into Garrett Thompson.”
“Terry’s brother?”
“Yeah. He was catching a flight too.”
“And?”
“He told me that Terry had spent some time in the hospital a while back. His fiancée found him beaten and unconscious in his house. She called the police and EMTs. When the police questioned him about it after he regained consciousness, he swore he didn’t recall what happened.”
“So, what’s so odd about that? Maybe he was robbed, or maybe his dirty deeds finally caught up with him.”
“Maybe. I don’t know. Garrett stated he believed that Terry knew who did that shit to him. Whenever he pressed the issue with Terry, Terry would clam up until he finally exploded on his older brother. He told Garrett to shut the fuck up and leave it alone before he made things worse.”
“What the hell?”
“Exactly. When he told me the timing, it was right after your last meeting with Terry.”
“When I met him for dinner for the extension?”
“Yeah.”
“But he gave it to me.”
“Think about that. He didn’t do it at the dinner. Then one of his men comes around and tells you that you’ve got an extension two weeks later. Sounds fishy.”
“I don’t believe it. I’m not about to lay the blame about some shit that he got himself into on Smoke.”
My heart was tight in my chest, and I could tell by the long, extended sigh that Noel released he didn’t want to argue anymore.
“Sorry, baby girl. I just thought I should tell you.”
“Well, you didn’t really tell me anything, now did you?”
“You’re right. I love you. Go back to bed and get some sleep. I’m about to do the same.”
“Yeah, love you too,” I replied softly before I ended the call.
I lay in bed for several more minutes, but I couldn’t go back to sleep. The phone call kept bugging me, and while I wouldn’t call Terry to ask him, I could go to Smoke.
I grabbed a robe off the back of the chair, slipped my feet into my house shoes, and headed out of Smoke’s master bedroom and downstairs.
I repeatedly practiced the question so that I wouldn’t sound accusatory. I turned the corner downstairs and stopped outside of Smoke’s partially opened office door. I heard him talking, and I wondered if he was on a phone call.
“… shit that I can’t overlook. Some things just can’t be forgiven. You feel me?”
“Hell, yeah. I always knew that nigga would fuck up one day,” a strange voice responded to Smoke’s.
“Well, his fuckup is your move up, nigga. You only get one shot with me. I don’t believe in muthafuckin second chances, and I don’t believe in mistakes. Run your ship with a firm hand and keep a tight but loyal crew, and you will be rewarded. I don’t have a lot of people in my inner circle because everybody don’t need to know what the fuck I do. Don’t bring none of your niggas here to my home because only three people know where the fuck I lay my head. That’s you, Sam, and one other nigga, but he’s dead now, so that shit don’t count. You understand?” Smoke asked.
“Perfectly,” the stranger replied.
“Good.”
My heart raced in my chest as I heard my baby saying things like that. This was not the same man who loved on me, made my body feel things it never had before, and taught me to express my feelings without words. There was a coldness and nonchalance to his voice that I hadn’t heard before, one that left me with chills on my spine and fear in my heart. His words were laced with an underlying threat that didn’t need to be spoken because they could be felt.
“I’ve got men looking for Bam as we speak.”
“I’ll get some of my crew on it too,” the stranger stated.
“Cool. Now get the fuck outta here. I got some shit to take care of.”
“A’ight. I’ll holler,” the other man stated.
I ran back around the corner and hurriedly walked into the kitchen.
I pulled a glass from the cabinet before I pulled open the large, commercial stainless-steel refrigerator. I searched around inside to find something that would not only refresh my dry throat but that would also calm my trembling nerves.
How in the hell could I go back in there and lie in bed with a man who could have killed some men and beaten my ex almost to death?
“Trouble sleeping, baby?”
The sound of his voice right in my ear and his hand on my shoulder made me jump, and I lost my grip on the glass. It fell and shattered to the floor.
“Shit!” I screamed.
Smoke rubbed his hands down my shoulders and arms. “Breathe, baby. You good?”
“You scared me, is all,” I stated.
“Come here. You got cut by some glass.” Smoke lifted me off the floor. He carried me to the island and set me down before he moved to the sink and removed a first aid kit from underneath it.
“I can do that,” I stated when he pulled out some alcohol pads, antibiotic ointment, and bandages.
His hand pressed against mine as he stared into my eyes.
“I got you, baby. I told you that you can trust me. I won’t hurt you.”
As I looked into Smoke’s eyes, I couldn’t help but wonder if he was talking about more than the cut on my foot. But he broke our stare first and set about handling my cut. When he finished, he ordered me to remain at the island.
I watched him as he moved around the kitchen and cleaned up my mess before he washed his hands and poured me a glass of juice.
“Here you go.”
My hands trembled when I accepted the glass.
I realized that my nerves had gotten the best of me after that phone call with Noel. Besides, I hadn’t overheard the entire conversation with Smoke and the man in his office. I’d just jumped to conclusions and overreacted, which was easy to do when your nerves were already fraught with tension, and you were tired from lack of sleep.
“You okay, sweet baby?” he asked when he took the empty glass from my hand and set it in the sink.
“Yeah. I think I’m just tired.”
He brushed the hair from my face and stated, “Whatever you want to know, Kaifiya, you can always ask me. I promise not to lie to you, and I won’t mislead you. There may be times that I can’t answer you, but I won’t lie.”
I inhaled deeply and asked, “Who was that man in your office?”
“He’s my new second-in-command.”
“What happened to the old one?”
“He’s no longer with us.”
My heart thudded wildly in my chest.
“As in dead?”
Smoke gripped the back of my head, lowered his lips, and pressed them against mine. He kissed me softly and caressed my tongue with his. When he pulled back, I saw nothing but tenderness in his eyes.
“I live in a very dangerous world, sweetheart. Sometimes, I have to do things that the rest of the world doesn’t need to know about. It’s how I help make the world a better place to live in. Some things, you don’t need to know about. That’s part of how I protect you.”
I sighed grumpily. “I guess that I’ll take that as a yes then.”
Smoke kissed my forehead and replied, “When I look into a nigga’s eyes, I can tell when they’ve lost respect for me. I can tell when they see me as their enemy or a threat. In this world, that can be very dangerous. In this world, it becomes life or death. It’s either me or that nigga. I’ma choose me every time, Kaifiya.”
I exhaled deeply.
“What about Terry? Were you behind that? Noel just told me Terry was beaten so badly he had to spend time in the hospital. I think it was all too coincidental that it happened the same night that I told you about what he said to me.”
“I will always protect you, Fiya. You belong to me, and I protect what’s mine. I have no regrets, no apologies, and the next nigga that thinks he’s gonna fuck with you, then I’ll fuck him up too.”
“Damn, Smoke! That shit’s not cool!” I stated and pushed him back from me.
“What you want me to do, Fiya? I ain’t got no fucks in me about that nigga. Told you how I feel, girl. And I’ll do that shit again if I need to.”
“I can’t have you fucking people up who cross me.”
“Why the fuck not?”
“’Cause that shit’s insane!”
“No, it ain’t! It’s my goddamned world, Fiya! If you can’t get with that shit, then maybe you can’t get with me.”
“Maybe I can’t, Smoke,” I replied and hopped off the island.
“Where the fuck you going? Don’t walk away from me.”
“I’m going home!” I shouted over my shoulder and hobbled out of the kitchen.
“How? You didn’t bring your car?”
“I’ll catch an Uber.”
“No, the fuck you won’t at this time of night!” he shouted as he stormed after me.
I grabbed my clothes and was pulling them on when he pulled them back off. I kicked at him and tried to hold onto my jeans, but he wouldn’t let them go until he ripped them straight off my body.
“Fuck, Smoke! I just need to get the fuck away from you right now!” I screamed as I punched the air.
Smoke backed up, and I could see the look of hurt in his eyes. Although it hurt me, I just needed to breathe. There was too much danger and death around him, and it was more than I could take. How the hell did he expect me to overlook the shit I had learned tonight.
He stormed away from me, and I grabbed my bags and gathered the remaining items I had. I threw my same clothes on from earlier since they weren’t ripped. I didn’t give a shit. I just needed to get away from him. I grabbed my phone and pulled up the Uber app when he returned.
“Here, take the Jeep.”
“What?”
“Take the Jeep. I’ll have it picked up tomorrow. Your li’l ass ain’t taking no damn Uber at this time of night, Fiya. I swear you’ll get some niggas fucked up tonight, shawty.”
That was when I saw the piece in his other hand, and I knew he meant business. I thought about all the bloodshed so far, and I took the keys from him.
I stormed out of his house and hopped into the Jeep in the garage. When I pulled away, Smoke stood there bare-chested and barefoot, watching me leave. I could see the hurt on his face. It broke my heart, but I had to get away.
Now, I was headed back to my condo, where I would once again be all alone. I didn’t want to be there alone, but I was more afraid to be with Smoke alone.