18. Fiya
Fiya
“ G et your ass out of the bed.”
“Stoppp, Noel,” I whined as he tugged the pillow from underneath my head. “I hate you. I swear.”
“This whining ass Kai isn’t cutting it. I need your ass to woman up and get your shit together.”
“I’ve got my shit together.”
“No, you don’t. You whining and rolling over in the bed like you can’t do shit. Your shop has been closed for almost two weeks. That’s bullshit. You need your paper, and you’ve got bills to pay.”
I opened one eye and mugged the hell out of him.
“Go to hell, Noel.”
“Nah. I ain’t much in the mood to visit you right now.”
I took my other pillow and threw it at him. Noel caught it, and he chuckled before he dropped down on the bed beside me. He bent down and kissed my forehead.
“What’s up with you? Why you giving that nigga hell?”
I lifted my head and rested it on his lap. Noel stroked my head.
I told him the concerns that I had.
“I knew that you were thinking about Demetrick. I hadn’t wanted to bring that up, but I wanted you to know that I’m here for you if you need to talk.”
Tears fell from my eyes. “D was my world, Noel.”
“I know. I get it. I mean, shit, he was my boy too. I was there that damn day.”
“I know, and I thank God you survived because if I had lost both of you, I don’t think that I could have survived that.”
Noel and another guy named Mike were the two friends who were with my cousin, Demetrick, that day. Noel had spent two weeks in the hospital recuperating from his injuries, and Mike had been there almost as long. Noel still walked with a limp because of his injuries.
The guy who shot and killed my cousin had been caught, and he was still in prison. Last year, I went to visit him to get the answers that I needed. I had left the prison more frustrated than before because he gave me nothing. The girl they’d argued over had gone on with her life and never visited Demetrick’s grave or Chance, the dude who killed my cousin.
She had a baby with a man she’d been messing with while messing with Demetrick and Chance. I heard that she had recently married her baby’s father. I couldn’t blame her, although her ass shouldn’t have been playing games with three men. That was how I knew I needed to break things off with Terry because I wasn’t one to play those types of games, and I understood where they could lead.
“Did you tell Smoke about that shit?”
“Yeah. Early on.”
“I’m surprised. That’s not something you talk about. That means that you really trusted him. You sure that you want to just walk away like that?”
“He didn’t give me much choice, Noel. Besides, I’m not walking away. I just need some time to breathe.”
“Did you tell him that? Because when you told me the story, it sounded as if you broke things off.”
“I didn’t. I just let him know that I needed to get away from him.”
“It’s been eleven days. You either get your shit together, head over there, and work it out with him, or you get your shit together and move on with your life. Either way, your shop needs to open back up, and you need to be making your bread, Kai.”
“You’re right.”
I sat up and leaned against the headboard. “Ahhh! Why does love have to suck?”
“You love him?”
“Yeah. You think it’s too soon?”
“It’s not about how soon or long it’s been, Kai. It’s about what you feel in your heart and being true to that shit.”
“Weren’t you the one who was against me being with him?”
“No. I just wanted you to be safe. I didn’t expect that you’d fuck around and fall in love, Kai. Ain’t shit I can do about that. Now get your funky ass out of this bed and go shower and get dressed. I got a surprise for you.”
Elation filled me because I loved surprises, and Noel knew it.
“What’s the surprise?” I asked and jumped out of bed.
“Can’t tell you. Then it wouldn’t be a surprise,” he remarked as he headed out of my room.
I rushed into the bathroom to shower. Thirty minutes later, I was downstairs waiting for my surprise.
“Damn. You wash your ass? That shit was fast as hell,” Noel teased.
“Don’t play with me. You know I’m clean.”
“I don’t know. It usually takes your ass an hour to get ready. But today—”
The doorbell rang and interrupted his speech.
“I’ll be back,” he stated and walked away from me.
“Did you order dinner or something?” I called after him as my stomach rumbled.
“Nah. Not quite,” he replied as he unlocked the door with a strange look on his face.
I grabbed the remote and prepared to turn it on when I heard a familiar voice.
“What’s good, man?”
“I can’t call it, G. She’s over there,” Noel stated.
I rolled my eyes and neck as I turned to look at Noel and Smoke.
“The fuck is going on, Noel?”
“Aye, chill on that shit. The man just wanna holler at you.”
“Was this your surprise? Because you could keep it.”
Despite my words and attitude, I was happy to see Smoke. He was fine as hell in his all-black jeans, T-shirt, Timbs, and denim jacket. His hair was freshly cut, and his beard was shaped up. I wanted to jump up and wrap my arms and legs around him, but I couldn’t.
The pain on his face and the desperation in his eyes tugged at my heart, but I remained in my spot.
“You know you like it, so quit fronting,” Noel stated and grabbed his keys off the hook. “Aye, lock up when y’all leave. I won’t be back until later tonight.”
“I’m not going anywhere,” I remarked.
“Yeah, whatever,” Noel replied and chuckled.
I rolled my eyes and sucked my teeth after Noel closed the door behind himself.
“What’s good, ma?”
“This isn’t okay, Smoke. I asked for time.”
“Damn, sweets. How much time do you need? It’s been almost two weeks.”
“I know how much time it’s been. I need to work through it, okay?”
He walked to me and grabbed my hands.
“Look at me.” He commanded me and tipped my chin up when I turned my head away. “Why are you so angry with me, ma?”
Tears fell down my face, and as much as I tried to stay strong and keep up that hard act, it was useless. I crumbled, and Smoke was there to catch me. He lifted me onto his lap.
“Talk to me, beautiful. I can’t fix it unless I know what the problem is.”
“I told you how I felt about violence because of my cousin Demetrick’s murder. I told you that violence was triggering for me. I had no idea you were into the shit that you were or that you’ve hurt so many people. How can I be with you when I feel the way that I do about violence, Smoke?” I sobbed.
Smoke wiped my tears away and kissed my lips. When they flowed again, he wiped them some more.
“Listen, ma. I respect how you feel. Trust me, I do. If there were a way to erase all the shit that I’ve done, the shit that I still do, just so that I could keep you in my life, then I would. The fact is that I can’t, Fiya. But I know that I want and need you in my life. I know that these last several days have been empty and lonely as shit without you. It’s given me time to think. I’m about to make some major moves.”
“What kind of moves?” I asked in a teary, choked up voice as he kept wiping my tears.
“Don’t worry about the exact moves. I told you all the shit I do is to protect you. But what I will say is that I’m letting some shit go, but I’m not letting you go. I’m moving so that everything that I do from this moment on is legit. I can still make a solid living and live on the level that I do with the businesses that I already have. I just need you to complete the picture, ma. But no matter what changes I make, if you’re ever in danger, I’m gonna always do what the fuck I need to protect you. You hear?”
I nodded and started with that crying shit all over again.
“Let me make it right, baby,” he muttered against my lips. “Please,” he stated between pecks.
“Okay,” I replied softly.
“Go get your purse. I’ve got a surprise for you.”
“You bringing me back home?”
“No. But you don’t need shit else. I’ve got you covered as always.”
“Okay,” I stated with a smile on my face and inside of my heart.