Chapter 15
Bryson
Iwas on the floor by the fireplace reading Black Law, when Kennedi sashayed into the living room with a single candle. She placed it on the hearth of the fireplace and waltzed back out of the room.
I returned my attention to the book only for the lights to turn off after several seconds. The flame flickered briefly, casting misshapen shadows on the wall while creating a beautiful, romantic, soft light. I glanced up and noticed that she stood in the doorway with the remote in her hand.
“I was reading, baby.”
“I know,” she replied, clicking the remote and filling the room with smooth jazz. Kennedi turned the volume down just a little, set the remote on the table, and walked to me again.
“What are you doing?” I asked as she spread my legs apart and sat between them.
“Reading with you.”
I sighed and dragged my hand down my face. “Does this mean that we won’t be reading Black Law?” I asked.
She reached up and tugged on my beard. “You’re so smart. That’s why I love you.”
“All right. Hand it over,” I demanded, holding my hand out.
She reached into the pocket of her robe and removed her phone. I watched as she clicked through until she got to her Kindle app.
“What are we reading?” I asked when she placed the phone in my hand.
“Someone Like You.”
“Who’s that by?”
“A new author I’ve been put on to. Her name’s Egypt Cynaé.”
“You want me to go first? You know I might fall asleep reading, so let me get my part out of the way.”
We had started reading together in our earlier years. Sometimes, we read the legal journals and books that belonged to me, and at other times, we read her romance books and fashion magazines.
“You can start.”
“What’s this about?”
“A billionaire who’s seeking marriage counseling to save his marriage, only he ends up falling for and seducing his marriage therapist.”
“Damn. Is she married too?”
“Not anymore.”
“Did the affair cause her to get divorced?”
“No. She was not married long before that, but I’m not going to tell you why, Bryse. You’ve got to read, baby.”
Kennedi readjusted herself, resting her head on my chest and crossing her legs at the ankles.
“I opened the book and immediately started reading.
Surprisingly, I got deep into the story, and before I knew it, I had read ten chapters on my own.
I set the phone aside on the fireplace hearth beside the candle.
Although she had listened to the story, Kennedi had gotten extremely cozy, wrapped up in me.
“That was pretty good.”
“I told you.”
“Ya li’l ass want your own fairy-tale romance, don’t ya?”
She sighed and didn’t say anything for several seconds. I lifted my leg and planted my foot on the floor. Kennedi massaged my calf muscle, and I relaxed my head against the wall.
“How do we get back what we once had?” she whispered against my lips as she pecked them.
I wrapped my arms around her and replied, “We don’t. We start from here, and we build what we want to have. Yesterday is gone, and it’s in the past. We have this very moment to start fresh and to learn from our mistakes.”
“How do we ensure that we don’t lose it again? I don’t want to lose you. Even when I thought about connecting with someone else, and I was honestly prepared to move full steam ahead, my soul and my heart missed you. But I couldn’t make you give me what I needed.”
“I know that. But the only way that we don’t end up back where we were again is to remain honest about our feelings, talk things out, and make each other a priority. It’s also important to care about and understand each other’s feelings, even when we don’t agree with them.”
“The couple in the book lost their way.”
“Are you talking about the original couple? The husband and the wife?”
“Yeah.”
“Well, they were in an arranged marriage. That shit wasn’t built on the truth from the start, not even on their chemistry.
What we have is built on our chemistry, but we’re working to build something stronger than what we had in the beginning.
It’s kinda like the doctor and the husband.
They seem to have that chemistry, but they’re gonna have to build the intimate bond. ”
She bobbed her head and turned around in my lap. I gripped her chin and kissed her lips softly and slowly. I had always loved how plump and soft they were. Her tongue was warm and tasted of peppermint when she opened her mouth to me. Her moans were an erotic love song that I never wanted to end.
But I broke the kiss off because I enjoyed just being with her the way that we were.
I didn’t always have to have sex with Kennedi to feel connected to her.
There was a time when I once thought I did, but that caused a fracture in our relationship.
We became only concerned about sex and our careers.
It was important to me that we didn’t allow our sexual relationship to define our overall relationship.
“What were you hoping to gain by coming up here, Kenni?”
“A clear mind to sort out my feelings about us. Focused determination to be intentional about my love for you. And to remember why I fell in love with you in the first place.”
“Why did you?” She turned around and rested her back against my chest again.
“Your tenacity about everything in life. You did everything with passionate determination, and you never let obstacles steer you from your goal. I was a goal of yours once.”
“Still are,” I replied and closed my eyes as I kissed the top of her head softly.
“Am I? Because sometimes it feels like once you obtained me, you didn’t need me anymore.”
“I always need you, baby. I just want to feel needed as well, Kenni. And sometimes, I feel like you push me out and you no longer need me.”
“I’ve never stopped needing or wanting you in my life, Bryson.”
“Do you recall that time that I showed up at your business dinner and that nigga was putting his hands on you?”
“Yes. Lawrence Kerner. How could I forget?”
“That night at the restaurant, you told me that you didn’t need me. You said that you could handle that type of shit on your own.”
“I was so fed up with you that night. We weren’t in a good place, and I was trying to detach from you and prove to myself and you that I didn’t need you as much.
I didn’t want to be dependent on you anymore.
It felt like I’d become too dependent, and you had started taking me for granted.
I needed you to understand that you didn’t have to rescue me then, and I could handle that stuff on my own.
However, am I happy to have you for future occurrences?
Absolutely. Do I want and need you to be my protector on days when I don’t feel like it?
Of course. But there are times when I’m strong enough to fight my battles, baby. ”
“I know you are, Kenni.”
I grew quiet for a while and became lost in my thoughts.
“What are you thinking about?”
“How you haven’t been pushing me away since we’ve been up here, and you’ve accepted my advice and guidance more lately. Why’s that?”
“Because your love is a safe and easy space for me. We may not have seen eye to eye about the demands of my career, but you have never judged me or pressured me in other areas of my life. You always make me feel okay being me, even when you don’t understand me.
My heart trusts you, Bryse. I know that you will never do anything purposely to hurt me, and if you do hurt me, I also know that it was more than likely unintentional. ”
“I have always worked hard to make sure that you let your guard down, Kenni, because you deserve to exist as your true self in the space that was created for you. I always want to give you that.”
She turned and stared into my eyes with a smile. “I love you.” Then she rested her head on my chest again.
I rubbed my hands up and down her arms. “Not half as much as I love you.”
I kissed the top of her head, and we lay in that position until we fell asleep.