Chapter 19
C al and Bailey were on the porch when Cam and Maggie arrived. He had been quiet all day. Bailey had remained near his side, quietly reassuring like a farm dog. As they sat on the glider, sharing their customary glass of iced tea, he gripped her hand, holding it like a lifeline.
The truck pulled up, the same one that had brought Bailey to the ranch a few weeks ago. Bailey wanted to lean forward, to get her first glimpse of the mysterious brother and his wife. But she refrained, holding back and letting Cal rise to greet them.
He stepped forward and the two brothers hugged for a long moment before the sister-in-law took her turn. When they moved closer, Bailey finally got a full view of them. Cameron was like a younger, shorter version of Cal, though he was well over six feet. His shoulders weren’t as broad, but he had the same commanding presence and the same easy smile, the same dark hair and eyes. Cal was better looking, and she didn’t think she was biased in thinking that. He was more classically handsome, debonair. He could have been a movie star in the forties. Or now, probably. The brother’s looks were cuter, more boyish in nature. He stepped onto the porch and held out his hand to Bailey.
“Major.”
“Lieutenant,” she replied, greeting him with a hearty shake.
“My wife, Maggie,” he said. “Fair warning: she’s a hugger.”
As if to prove the point, Maggie leaned forward and gave her a tight hug. “Hi, Bailey, it’s so nice to meet you. We’re big fans of Jane. And your dad.”
“Me, too,” Bailey said. “And it’s so nice to meet you in return. I’ve heard him mention you. He said you’re classy. That’s a big deal in his view.”
“Mine, too,” Cam said, tossing his wife an affectionate wink.
Maggie turned to Cal and tapped the plastic container in her hands. “I brought cookies. Can I make a pot of coffee?”
“Absolutely,” he said, easing his arm around her shoulders as he led her inside.
Cam and Bailey remained on the porch. “How’s he doing?” Cam asked her.
She shook her head. “He’s been quiet today. I think it’s all bottlenecked in there.”
“That sounds about right,” Cam said. “Does he know what you have planned for tomorrow?”
“No, sir,” she replied.
He grinned. “You know you outrank me, Major.”
“Force of habit,” she said.
“I know. What are we going to do about him when it’s time?” he asked.
“I’ll handle him.”
“You know how?” he asked, tipping his head questioningly.
She shrugged, avoiding his gaze.
“Cam, can you bring in the coffee cake?” Maggie called from inside the house.
“Yes,” he replied. “Maggie believes food cures everything,” he explained to Bailey. “As soon as she got off the phone with you, she started baking.”
“I’m inclined to agree with her,” Bailey replied.
He picked up the bags at his feet. “Coming in?”
“You all need some family time. I’ll stay out here, thank you,” she said, settling back into the glider.
“If you change your mind, you’re more than welcome,” he said.
“Thank you,” Bailey said.
He shouldered his bags and made his way inside.
Cal felt like a tenacious bandage had been ripped off everything internal. He was bruised, sore, shaken. The last thing he wanted to do was try and play host, to prop himself up and pretend everything was okay. And the easy, gentle adoration between Maggie and Cam was making it worse. What he really wanted was to go back onto the porch with Bailey, to hold her hand and stare silently into the warm, dark night.
“The place looks good,” Cam said to try and cover the stilted, awkward silence.
“Thanks,” Cal said, smiling slightly at Maggie as she set a mug of coffee and a plate of cookies before him. He reached for a cookie and then set it back down, standing. “I need some air, excuse me.”
He stalked through the house, onto the porch, and kept going, suddenly claustrophobic and unable to breathe. Bailey stood and watched as he sprinted to the barn and took off. A second later, Cam bolted onto the porch.
“Which way did he go?” he asked.
“He took off on his horse.”
Cam took a step as if to go after him, but Bailey stood. “I’ll go, if you don’t mind.”
“No, I…okay.” He remained rooted to the spot while she sped to the barn and tore out, barebacked. When he couldn’t see her in the distance anymore, he turned and went back to the kitchen.
“Did you find him?” Maggie asked.
“Bailey went after him. That’s kind of odd, don’t you think?” He settled into a chair. Maggie slid into his lap, resting her head on his shoulder.
“She’s in love with him.”
“You saw her for thirty seconds. How could you possibly know that?”
“I have this thing called intuition,” she said.
“That’s kind of sad for her. There’s no way Cal would…would he?” He rubbed her back. “Maggie?”
“I don’t know, Cam. Something’s off here, and I can’t put my finger on it. Did he say anything to you about Bailey?”
“He said she’s a friend, a good friend.”
“If you described another woman that way, I’d cut her,” Maggie said. “And then I’d cut you.”
“Yeah, it pinged on my radar, but Cal would never cheat on Isabel. It’s not in his makeup.”
“I don’t know,” Maggie said, blowing out a breath.
“He wouldn’t,” Cam said, his tone defensive.
“I’m not arguing with you. I’m just trying to figure out what’s going on. And I’m sad, so sad. I barely knew her, but it’s still gut wrenching.”
“I know. She and Cal got married when I was still in college, just a kid. I can’t say she was ever the ideal sister-in-law, but she was still my sister-in-law.”
“I know,” Maggie said, cuddling up to him and kissing his cheek.
“Think I should go check on him?”
“How do you know where he went?” she asked.
“There’s probably only one place he’d go.”
“Give them a bit. It seems like he needs some space,” Maggie said.
“Why? I’m his brother.”
“If something happened to me, would you feel like talking the next day?”
He shuddered and drew her closer. “I never want to find out.”
Cal was in the first place Bailey checked for him, at the watering hole where they’d gone swimming. She slid off her horse and sat down on the grass beside him.
“I felt like I couldn’t breathe,” he explained.
Bailey didn’t comment. She sat silently by his side, offering unspoken comfort. After a few more minutes, he began to talk.
“You know what the worst part is? Behind all the horror, the grief, the shock, the anger, I feel relieved. My wife was murdered, and I feel relieved. What kind of man feels that way?”
“You can’t control your feelings, Cal. They’ll come, they’ll go, they’ll be horrible, they’ll be wonderful. It has nothing to do with who you are. The only thing you can control is what you do with them and you were kind, gentle, caring. You tried to offer her a way out, a hand up. No one could have responded better in that situation or with more integrity. You have nothing to be ashamed about, absolutely nothing.”
“Then why do I feel so bad?” he asked, beginning to cry again. Bailey put her arm around him and let him cry himself out. When his tears came to an end, he wiped his eyes.
“Thanks for being here, Bailey, for being a friend.”
“I wouldn’t be anywhere else,” she said.
“Nothing like pity to bring people together, huh?” Cal said, swiping at his eyes once more.
“You think I pity you?” Bailey asked. She turned to face him.
“Don’t you?” he asked. He finally looked at her, and it was as if the air between them came to a standstill and got sucked away. Now she was the one who couldn’t breathe.
“Yes, I definitely do.” She rested her left hand on his shoulder while her right hand brushed his cheek, wiping the last traces of his tears. “That first day I arrived, when you stepped out onto the porch, I thought, ‘Now there’s a man I’d like to pity. In fact, I don’t ever think I’ve seen a man I’d like to pity more.’ And then I got to know you, and understand the man you are, and the pity grew and grew until I’m so filled with pity I don’t know what to do with myself. I have struggled under the weight of pity, half delirious with it.” He was smiling a little now. Her left hand let go of his shoulder and eased under his shirt, her palm pressing flat against his stomach. “These abs are the most pitiable part of you, I think.”
“Bailey,” he breathed, sucking a breath at her touch.
“Hold still and let me pity you proper,” she said, leaning forward to press her lips to his. He reached for her to draw her closer. She leaned into him, practically lunging for him.
“Do you have any idea how long I...” he tried.
“Yes,” she said, interrupting him with another kiss.
“How much I…”
“Yes,” she said, interrupting him again.
“Dang, girl,” he said.
She laughed and let go of his stomach to cradle his face in her hands, making it easier for her lips to reach him. He pulled her into his lap and kissed her in return the way she wanted, like he meant it for keeps. They paused a few minutes later, breathless and shaking. He rested his forehead on hers.
“I should have known you’d be the one to make the first move,” he said.
“I think we both saw it coming a mile away,” she said.
“I…” he began, but he wasn’t able to complete that thought, either. A noise to his right alerted them of someone else’s presence. They looked up to see his brother atop a horse, staring down at them with a mix of shock and disapproval.
Cam slid off his horse. Cal shot to his feet, Bailey toppling haphazardly to the ground. The two brothers faced off, neither saying a word. Bailey got to her feet slowly between them. Cam’s eyes darted to her.
“It’s not how it looks,” Cal finally said.
“Really? Because how it looks to me is like your wife was murdered and you’re making out with your head of security, the woman who’s been living under your roof the last few weeks.”
“Okay, I guess it is how it looks,” Cal said.
“I should go,” Bailey inserted, but he caught her hand.
“Stay, this concerns you too,” he said. He took a breath. “Cam, there’s a lot you don’t know.” He paused again and took another breath. “Isabel and I broke up a couple of years ago. She moved out, we’ve been living apart, been separated all that time. But even before that, things weren’t good. Probably the last five years we’ve had issues, major, horrible issues between us.”
“But she was at our wedding eighteen months ago and everything seemed fine,” Cam said.
“I paid her twenty thousand dollars to come with me and pretend we were still okay.”
“Why?” Cam breathed.
“I told myself it was because I didn’t want to rain on your and Maggie’s parade, to ruin your special day with sadness and bad news, to make myself the focus in any way. But the truth is I was too proud to let you know how badly I failed, and too ashamed to admit how far I’d sunk. I thought if I kept pretending everything was okay then everything would eventually be okay. But everything was very much not okay.
“We bickered over the ranch. Isabel threatened to take it. I used that as an excuse to hang on to an unhealthy relationship that ended ages ago. It felt like so much failure, too much. Then lately I learned Isabel got hooked on drugs. She took up with the head of the cartel.”
“In other words her death has nothing to do with you or the ranch,” Cam said.
“I think she probably made him mad, did something to turn him against her, and he thought it was a two birds with one stone situation. He’d get rid of her and use it to goad me,” Cal said.
“How and where does Bailey factor into this?” Cam said. They were grown men, both in their thirties, but he had always looked up to Cal, ridiculously so, and he couldn’t stand to have his idol tarnished so badly with the thought of an affair.
Cal paused and glanced at Bailey. “Bailey showed up, and I began to realize holding on to everything I needed to let go was causing everyone concerned a lot of harm. But I still couldn’t seem to let it go. I just…I wanted everything to magically be okay. But I swear to you I didn’t cheat on Isabel with Bailey, at least not physically. What you saw just now was a first. She’s been a friend to me when I needed one and…more, at least in my heart, even if I didn’t act on it.” He looked at Bailey who gave him an encouraging smile in return.
“Do Mom and Dad know?” Cam asked.
Cal shook his head. “They stopped coming to the ranch a while ago because of Is and it was easier that way, easier to keep things quiet.”
“I wish you had told me so I could have been here for you,” Cam said.
“I do, too. And I’m sorry I kept it from you, sorry I’ve been so proud and secretive and stupid.” He reached for his wedding ring, ripped it off his finger, and held it aloft, as if to hurl it.
Bailey caught his fist and pulled it back down. “You’ll regret it.”
He took a breath and shoved it in his pocket instead, nodding. They stood in silence a few minutes. “I don’t know what to do now,” Cal admitted.
“Maggie made a lot of sugary food,” Cam volunteered. “According to her, it works like magic to make a body feel better.”
“I could go for something sweet,” Cal said. “How about you, little bit?” He slid his arm around Bailey.
“Definitely,” she agreed.
“All right then.” He put his other arm around Cam and gave his shoulders a squeeze.
“Did you guys both ride here bareback?” Cam asked, spying their horses.
“You’ve been gone a long time, city slicker,” Cal said.
“I could still ride bareback,” Cam boasted.
“Let’s see it,” Cal urged.
“I don’t want to make Maggie worry.”
“We won’t tell,” Cal promised.
“She has a way of sussing these things out,” Cam said.
“Did you say sussing or sissy?” Cal asked.
“Can I take this opportunity to remind you the last time you prodded me to do something I broke my ankle, and it was at this very spot?” He pointed to the tree over the watering hole.
“You would have been fine if you hadn’t stepped on that dead branch,” Cal said, swinging up onto his horse.
“Regardless, I’m a grown man, not easily prodded into outdoing my big brother.” He swung up onto his horse, too.
“I guess you’re too old for a race back to the house,” Cal said.
“Definitely,” Cam agreed. “Last one there’s a rotten egg.” He took off like a shot, Cal close at his heels.