CHAPTER TWENTY
TRINA
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I fake laugh at my boss’s joke, then climb out of my seat and head to the bar. I don’t usually join my team for drinks after work, but tonight I thought I would. I need to expand my social circle if I’m going to be avoiding Marshall and not going to the BHS offices on Fridays.
I understand that Briar and Savannah will want to, but I’ll definitely be finding us some fun parties to attend so I don’t miss out on spending time with my girls.
Speaking of, after bumping into Marshall yesterday, I would do anything to get out of going to Briar and Aidan’s BBQ tomorrow night.
I can’t.
Unless I suddenly have a stroke or contract malaria, I have no excuse. Even then, I’m sure Briar would set up a bed for me in the corner.
I don’t want to let her down, this is their first couple party, so I have to show up.
But...
I don’t have to go alone. I’ve been thinking about this, and if I took a date they’d act like a barrier keeping me from accidentally falling on top of Marshall’s cock.
His very nice cock.
While it’s a good idea in reality, I don’t have anyone to invite. I scrolled through my contacts earlier today, cringing at a few exes’ names—no way—or guys I whose numbers I took when considering dating them. That would just be more trouble than it was worth, giving the impression I’m interested when I’m not.
Then I swiped on a dating app and felt even worse by the end of it.
No wonder the world’s population growth rate is on the decline.
That left me with Jacon from marketing, who’s a nice enough looking guy. He’s a bit boring but confident enough to hold his own around Marshall, Ryder, and all the other guys. In reality he’d probably he intimated by them. He’s not in the same hemisphere as those guys when it comes to their size, build, sexy inked skin, and alpha energy.
I catch myself biting my bottom lip as the memory of Marshall’s hands spreading my legs returns. The way he took control of my body shattered all my senses, and I melted when his tongue hit my flesh.
I’ve never reacted to a man the way I have after sleeping with Marshall. Worrying about him when he was out on his mission and then being so intimate. It’s like he stole a part of me and hasn’t given it back. He also left some of himself in me and I don’t mean the obvious.
I can smell him on my skin. Feel him inside me.
It scares me.
I thought I would enjoy the night with him and then move on. Our bubble burst because we’d cleared away the lust that was driving us both insane.
Why did you leave?
It was a one-night stand.
How many have there been, little wolf?
None of your business.
Yes. It is. My cock was inside your pussy just a few nights ago. I’m making it my business.
I knew right then what was happening. I’ve seen the way Savannah and Briar are with Ryder and Adian. How Cassy is with Josh. The men are insanely protective and possessive.
But you want that. You love how dominant Marshall was with you.
I do not.
It’s way too vulnerable. One day something will happen and then I’d be left alone just like my mother and I were when I was younger. I had to watch her fall apart as I tried to grieve the death of my father.
I won’t do it.
I will not fall in love with anyone in the forces with the threat hanging over my head of being left with a shredded heart, baby on my hip, and miles of debt.
Whether he has a six or eight pack, and can make me come in under three minutes, it doesn’t matter. It’s not worth it.
My vagina raises her metaphorical hand to argue, and I snarl.
I reach the bar, which is busy and, despite being almost five foot seven and wearing my extra-long eyelashes, I don’t seem to be able to get the bartender’s attention.
An opening at the end of the bar catches my attention, so I head that way and spot a broad guy with dark hair and a sparkle in his eye watching me.
Excellent. I can work this to my advantage.
He points to the space beside him, then waves out to one of the staff. I squeeze in between him and the next person.
“Thank you so much.”
“You’re welcome.” His body angles to mine.
“Please don’t ask me if I come here often.” I toss my hair over my shoulder after ordering my drinks.
His hair is dark and cropped, and he’s tanned. Tall, I assume. Technically he should he hotter than he is, but something’s not right.
He’s not Marshall.
Ugh, shut up brain.
Instead of replying, he lifts his beer, sips it, and watches me. His brown eyes are dark, and I get the sense he’s hiding something.
Or maybe I just have trust issues.
“Are you single?” he asks instead and I roll my eyes. With a grin he shrugs and puts the glass down on the bar. “Okay, let’s start with, do you have a pet?”
A pet?
It’s such a weird, out of the blue comment, I can’t help my smile. “No. You?”
“No. But if I did, I’d have a dog.”
“Same.” I press my hip into the bar and turn a little. At least he came up with something original, so I’ll give him a few minutes of my time. “What breed?”
“Something big. Intelligent. A husky probably.”
“They’re a lot of work. Do you jog?”
“Do I look like a jogger?”
I run my gaze over his body and notice how built he is. There doesn’t seem to be any excess fat, so I figure he’s a gym guy. Definitely not the slim lean body of someone who runs.
“Nope.”
The bartender arrives with my drinks, and I start to gather them.
“So, what do you recommend?” he asks, like he’s trying to keep me there talking.
“Going to a pet store and talking to an expert. And getting a better pickup line.” I sip my drink and shoot him a smile.
He laughs.
Like really laughs and it’s contagious. I giggle and decide to go easy on him. I put my drink down and reach out my hand.
“I’m Trina.”
“Roger.” He shakes it and holds on a little longer than is appropriate. “It’s a pleasure to meet you, Trina.”
Has the universe just dropped a solution in my lap?
I glance over at my colleagues and nod their way. “Want to join us? It’s just after-work drinks. Most of them will be leaving soon.”
Roger watches them and takes another sip as he slowly makes his mind up. I’m a little taken aback. Most men would jump at the opportunity.
I like that he didn’t.
When his eyes meet mine, he shakes his head.
“No. Go enjoy yourself. If you want to join me for another drink after, I’d love to chat with you again.”
Oh.
My face must fall because he leans in a little closer. “I’d rather have you all to myself.”
This strange feeling comes over me.
I want to tell him I’m taken. That I have a boyfriend. I can just imagine Marshall’s enormous frame surrounding me as he stakes his claim, gripping my hips.
But I don’t.
I’m single. Yet it already feels like someone possesses my heart. Which just makes me more determined not to keep feeling like this.
“Well, let’s see if you get lucky.” I wink, then grab my drinks and head back to my colleagues.
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NINETY MINUTES LATER, after feeling Roger’s eyes on me the entire time, I glance over. It’s not the first time, but I’ve been trying to make a sensible decision.
I am not going home with him.
I don’t want to sleep with anyone after being with Marshall. If I wasn’t so messed up about losing my dad, I might be in Marshall’s bed right now enjoying more of the carnal passion we shared.
Ugh.
But I am who I am, and I’m not dating him with his background, which clearly is still active somehow or paramilitary.
Their jobs are dangerous.
So, I need to move on. Forget him. The party tomorrow night is a great chance to make that point loud and clear.
To everyone.
I notice Roger has talked to a few people—both women and men—and it’s taken my edge off, wondering if he’s some kind of lonely loser. It doesn’t appear he is. Perhaps he’s traveling for business. Or here on vacation.
“We’re heading out,” Megan and Sarah, who are always joined at the hip, say. They stand, reach for their handbags and head out.
“We should go, too.” Bob, my boss says, nodding to his PA. I’ve often wondered if there’s an affair going on despite both being married.
Not my business.
But I’m ninety-nine percent certain.
The three IT guys and Jacob throw back their drinks and follow suit.
“Me too,” I say and then thumb over my shoulder. “After going to the ladies room. See you all tomorrow.”
I wander slowly toward the bar and then slip onto the stool beside Roger. I don’t look at him as I order a glass of water and wait for him to say something.
“So.”
“So.” I smile and turn.
“Are we getting a dog?” he asks without breaking a smile. I watch as he glances around the bar, then back at me.
I can’t help my giggle. “Maybe you should ask me on a date first.”
“Ah.” He seems disappointed as he adds, “So, you’re a dinner and flowers kind of girl.”
I hide my reaction.
Roger’s a bang ‘em and leave ‘em guy. A player. I should have known when he chose not to join the rest of my party for a drink. Why get to know me when I’m probably a sure thing. And if I’m not, he didn’t waste all night on me.
I know his type.
Well, the player is about to get played.
“I hate flowers—I get hay fever. But I do eat. You?”
“I love eating.”
The comment hangs in the air, and I swear, if he wasn’t good looking it would’ve made my skin crawl. It gave total Jeffrey Dahmer vibes.
Whatever. I’m not sleeping with him; I just need a date for tomorrow night to make my position clear and keep me away from Marshall.
I slide off my stool and drop my business card on the bar, nudging it in his direction.
“I have a friend’s party tomorrow night. If you want to come with me and eat”— ugh— “then message me. If not, it was nice meeting you, Roger.”
I turn to walk away but he grabs my wrist.
My body freezes. There’s dominance and look on his face that sends a warning right through me.
The red flag waving frantically in front of me is one I will look back in the days to come and wish I’d acknowledged.
I don’t.
All because I’m try really hard not to fall in love with Marshall Adams.
We walk out onto the busy sidewalk and wait for my Uber. Roger stands with his hands in his jeans pocket and is quiet.
“Where are you staying?” I ask to fill the silence.
His brows lift. “You don’t think I’m a local?”
“Call it instinct.” I go to slide my jacket on, and he helps me into it. His body stands a little too close and his arms wrap around me for too long.
I take a step away.
Marshall.
Ugh. Why does my brain keep reacting as if he’s my boyfriend? He’s not. He never will be. He doesn’t own me no matter how loud he announces that his cock was inside me.
Yes, I was worried when he was out on his mission, but I worry about all my friends. Learning, although no one confirmed anything, that he was in trouble just made it worse.
Well, he’s home safe, and I can categorically say all his body parts are in good working condition. I checked.
Every delicious inch.
Shit. Focus.
“Very intuitive,” Roger says. “I’ve just got into town but I’m looking at moving.”
“Cool,” I reply, and thankfully don’t have to say anything else because I spot my driver. “Then you should join us tomorrow. You can make some new friends. You might get along with some of the guys.”
“I have a feeling I will.”
Weird.
Roger is oddly confident, and I don’t know what to make of it. He opens the door and I climb inside, then stare up at him.
“Goodnight, Trina.”
A shiver runs through me as he closes the door. Something about him is weird. Maybe I will ignore his call. All the way home I feel like I’m staring into the abyss, trying to figure out what it is about him that is warning me off.
When I climb into bed my phone messages. Thinking it’s Roger, and that I should block him, I casually swipe the screen.
It isn’t him.
It’s another name which has my heart thumping.
Miss you little wolf. I wish your body was plastered against mine and your lips on mine.
I close my eyes as my body temperature rises. Not just because I’d love to be in his bed, but to have those big strong arms wrapped around me would be pretty amazing right now.
I miss seeing him.
I miss talking to him.
I want to kiss him again and wake up in the morning with his arm under me. That hand of his on my hip, subtly staking a claim and keeping me right there with him.
Then I remember his wound. Where the bullet grazed his skin. It could have gone a few inches in the other direction, and we’d be at his funeral this weekend instead.
I can’t do this.
I have to put a stop to this relationship, even though I know it will hurt him. Hell, if he turned up to Briar and Aidan’s party with another woman tomorrow I’d be furious.
If Roger messages I’ll invite him.
If I go on my own I will end up in Marshall’s arms again. In his bed. With him taking a bigger piece of my heart this time.