CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR
TRINA
Why do I feel like crying?
Goddamn him.
Why does it feel like I’ve lost the most...ugh... the most precious thing... I can’t.
I will not fall. I will not end up like my mother. A widow with a child and a broken heart, unable to love another man. She was just a shell of a woman after Dad died. We finally got his body back and buried him, but I can’t even tell you if I saw her truly smile after that.
Fake smiles.
Half smiles.
Shadowed smiles.
My hand flies to my tummy as I suddenly realize Marshall and I forgot to use birth control. It was my fault as much as his. I’ll have to get the morning-after pill tomorrow.
You know what, little wolf. You do what you want. I can’t order you around. Or make you want this.
Feeling his kiss on my forehead felt so final. It was a goodbye. I know that.
It’s what I wanted. Right?
It was.
It...is.
Damn, I don’t know anymore.
The sense of loss feels heavy as I try to shake myself out of it and pull myself together. Clearing my throat roughly, I run my hands over my hair and dress. I feel bare and vulnerable without my panties, feeling his come still leaking from me.
I wipe my face with some paper towels, sniff a few times and draw in a breath. Then, after sliding on some lip balm, I put on a fake smile and step out of the bathroom.
“There she is.” Savannah waves out her arms from the end of the hall. “Come on; this is my favorite song.”
Jesus. The last thing I feel like doing is dancing. I feel like crying, not being at a party. Why can’t teleportation be invented already?
Dumb humans.
“I need to get a drink. Meet you there.” I force a bigger smile on my face, but it hurts.
Spotting Roger talking to two girls, Marshall’s words come flooding back. You’re happy to date that fucker out there who is Special Forces, but not me.
Why does he think Roger is Special Forces? He just met him.
I blink, remembering them shaking hands. There was a weird vibe in the air, but I thought it was because of me. Bringing Roger was meant to create a wedge between me and Marshall.
I guess I did that.
After fucking him in the bathroom.
A sob escapes my throat, and I wipe my eyes. Thank goodness for the loud music.
Maybe I should talk to Marshall. I don’t want him to hate me. I glance around, but he’s not here. That girl he was talking to is.
I figure he’s somewhere.
I head over to Roger and wonder again if he might be an enlisted soldier. His career answer was vague, and I barely paid attention.
I’m in between jobs.
Something feels off and suddenly all I want is to go home. I’ve had too much to drink; my body is aching from rough amazing sex, and I’m confused.
I want you to go out there and tell Roger to fuck off home. That you are mine.
I’m not yours.
Your pussy says otherwise.
Marshall thinks I’m his, but then moments later he told me to take care of myself and left. I guess I pushed him away. Over and over.
I sigh.
I need my bed.
“Hey gorgeous.” Roger grins. “What took you so long.”
I thumb over my shoulder. “Saw a friend. Hey, so I’m not feeling well.” I place a hand on my stomach. “I’m going to head home. You can stay here.”
He turns from the two girls without a second glance and takes a step closer.
Now that I’m looking at him from a different perspective I can see him in uniform. Fuck, of course. The cut body, roped arms, the short hair.
How did I miss it?
It’s mostly irrelevant because I was never planning to date him, but I can see how it upset Marshall.
“You want to leave?”
“Yes.” I nod, then glance around looking for Briar and Alice.
“Hey Trina,” Cole says, sipping a beer as he joins us.
“Hey. This is Rog—”
“I know you. Green Beret right?” Cole narrows his eyes. “I thought your team was deployed...wait.”
Roger goes still and his eyes dip to mine. I do my best poker face because I really don’t have it in me to deal with this.
“I’m going to wait outside for an Uber.” I point out the door.
“Yeah, I was. Back in the US now, obviously. What was your name?” Roger asks sharply.
“Cole. Army Ranger.” His eyes drift to me and then back to Roger who places his hand on my hip. I see the confusion on his face. “Where’s Marshall?”
I glance around. “I don’t know.”
“He left,” Roger says darkly, and my eyes widen.
Marshall left?
This time my stomach does drop.
I need to speak to him. To apologize and talk this out. I hate that I’ve disappointed him. It’s suddenly really important that Marshall knows how I feel about him.
I wouldn’t have followed him into the bathroom if I wasn’t obviously jealous seeing him with that woman.
The time has come to face the facts. I like him. I more than like him. I worried myself crazy when he was away and in danger. Ryder was right when he said that Marshall is a strong and skilled operator, but none of that mattered.
Would I worry about any of the other guys in the same way?
I would care.
But I wouldn’t lie awake night after night regretting the things I never said. Or imagine I’d never see them again.
I certainly wouldn’t bribe Ryder to let me go to the hospital with him to take Marshall home. Someone I’ve claimed drives me crazy.
Oh, he still does that, but now with the added bonus of orgasms.
You know what, little wolf. You do what you want. I can’t make you want this.
The expression on Marshall’s face as he left the bathroom has me feeling ashamed of myself. I was happy to let him fuck me, but then I closed down again.
I can only imagine what he’s thinking. And feeling. Sometimes it’s easy to forget that men have feelings when I’m just trying to protect myself.
I should’ve stopped him.
“I’ll get the Uber,” Roger pulls out his phone. “I have an early start, so I’ll drop you off.”
A chill runs through me.
I don’t think that’s a good idea. Roger has lied to me and if Cole knows him, and Marshall knew he was military, then something is going on that I’m missing.
“I can get one of the guys who aren’t drinking to take you home, Trina.” Cole glances over at Josh who nods.
I stare between them. If this is some loyalty to Marshall, then I need to clear the air. I might like him a lot and feel like an asshole bringing Roger tonight, but we aren’t together.
Not like that.
Ryder, Josh, and Aidan might have met the loves of their lives, but it doesn’t mean I’m Marshall’s future wife.
I’m not letting you go. This is real. Stop running.
I feel the walls closing in on me, becoming dizzy as I flip from wanting to run into Marshall’s arms to running away.
But whatever choice I make, it has to be me mine. These alpha men need to step back and let me make my own decisions.
“I’m fine.” I grab Roger’s arm and steer him toward the door. “Enjoy your night.”
Passing Briar and Alice I tell them I’m not feeling well, and that Roger is dropping me home.
Alice wiggles her eyebrows.
God. No.
“Message us when you walk in the door,” Briar says, slowing her dance and looking concerned.
Ryder and Savannah are dancing and suddenly, as my eyes drift over her tight black pants and sheer black shirt, a thought crosses my mind.
I glance at Briar who blinks.
Oh my god. The chocolate nuts.
My mouth parts and Briar shakes her head, telling me to zip my lips. Confirming my suspicion is right.
“No way,” I gasp.
She glances back at her friend and boss, then presses her lips together.
I’m right.
Savannah and Ryder are pregnant. Holy hell. That is going to be huge Hollywood news.
“Trina!” Roger calls out.
I hug the girls then go to leave but Josh blocks my way, and I only just catch myself.
“Jesus. Can you be more of a brick wall?” I grip my phone in my hand against his huge arm.
“You leaving with him?” Josh glares as Roger watches from the door.
Goddamn alphas.
I’ve always been very independent and hated when people question me. I know he is trying to protect me, but it pushes my button.
I’m twenty-seven years old. I can look after myself. God knows my mother resigned from that job when Dad died.
So, someone trying to step in and question my decisions is not welcome. That and the alcohol are making me a whole lot sassier.
“Yes. Jesus. He’s my date.” Then I sign when Josh doesn’t even blink. Damn Navy SEAL. I sigh. “Look, he’s just dropping me off home. I’m not into him.”
“Then I think you should stay here. We’ll organize a ride home for you,” Josh replies, and it pushes my buttons all over again.
Bossy men.
Ugh.
“No thanks.” I try to go around him but he moves. “Josh. What’s going on? If this is some damn bro-code thing—”
“It’s not.” His dark gaze makes me hesitate.
This is about Roger. I know it is. I wish someone would just tell me what is going on. So, what if he’s a soldier? Aside from my own rule of not going out with men in uniform, why are they all acting so weird about it.
“Do you know who your date is?”
“Marshall said he was in the forces.”
“He told you?” Josh asks, sounding surprised.
“Yes.” I glance at Roger and spot his irritation.
“Is that why he left without saying goodbye to anyone? Did you get in a fight?”
“Look. Marshall and I aren’t dating.” I cross my arms defensively. “Josh, I need to go. I’m drunk, tired, and I’m going to call him tomorrow, okay. I promise I’m going straight home.”
Why I’m explaining myself I don’t know.
“Let me get someone to drive you. I don’t trust that guy.”
Jesus.
I shake my head. Honestly, I’m about done with all of them.
“This is ridiculous. I don’t need private security, Josh.” I roll my eyes. “Now please step aside.”
“There a problem?” Roger asks as Josh turns and props his hands on his hips.
It makes him look even bigger and I have to go right around him to see what’s going on. I wish Marshall hadn’t left. This is getting so out of hand.
“There will be if Trina doesn’t make it home safely.”
“Chill dude. She’s my date.” Roger laughs.
Oh fuck.
Josh’s face darkens and I see Aidan step closer.
“Okay, please stop.” I put my hand on Josh’s arm. “I know Marshall is your friend, but I need you to stop.”
Cole steps up beside Josh. “T, let me drop you off. I’ve had one beer. I can drive.”
I consider it for a moment, to stop this escalating further. But I do have to wonder why Roger isn’t backing off.
One look at the guys and you can see they are not the kind to mess with.
“Jesus fucking Christ.” Roger looks mad and I kind of don’t blame him. He hasn’t done anything wrong. Sure, he didn’t tell me he’s in the forces, but for all we know he’s left. Aside from Cole, no one has claimed to know him.
I let out a groan and whirl away. If they all want to beat each other up, then they can go right ahead. I’m going to ring my own Uber and leave them all to their testosterone party.
Roger follows me.
Fortunately, the others stay back.
“What the hell was that all about?” He demands when he catches up.
“They’re super protective,” I reply as I climb into the back of the Uber, and when he slides in with me, I see true anger in his eyes.