CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT
MARSHALL
I stare at the three missed calls from Trina as I bite down on my toast the next morning, and resist—for the tenth time—calling her back.
I saw them come in at two a.m. and was proud that I didn’t answer. Like Josh said, she needs time to decide what she wants.
She was drunk, and talking or fucking again wouldn’t have got either of us anywhere.
This isn’t about playing hard to get—hell, she already has me. I’m crazy about her. This is about putting a line in the sand and letting her know I’m serious.
That I more than fucking like her. She’s mine.
No more sex.
I want to date her.
Take her home to meet my family. Buy her flowers and go watch some movie. Watch her put that ChapStick on for hours and hours.
See her toothbrush in my bathroom.
Cook her dinner.
I do know she doesn’t care for Roger, and that helped me sleep last night.
On Monday, I’ll reach out to Rodriques or even Colonel Rockingham and find out what Miller is doing back stateside. If that isn’t effective, Josh can try his contacts. Something is up with that guy and I’m going to find out how he knows Trina.
The way he watched me leave almost had me turning around and going back last night. But I didn’t. Space is what’s needed, and I knew Trina was safe with the guys.
My phone rings.
“Marsh,” Aidan says before I get a chance to answer.
“Hey. What’s up? Great party last night. Sorry I left early but—”
“Marsh,” he repeats firmly, and I immediately go on alert.
“What’s happened?”
I push away from my kitchen counter and rub the back of my head. I’m ready to go, whatever it is. Fuck my injury. I’ve had worse.
If one of the team needs me, I am there.
“ Christ man . I’m going to get my ass kicked for this but if it was me...if it was Briar, I’d want to know.”
The fuck?
My brows inch higher and higher up my forehead with every word he says. Call it instinct but I know. Even before the thoughts form into coherence I know.
My voice is a deep growl when I say, “Tell me.”
“I’m outside the hospital. Briar. She—”
“Is Trina alive? What hospital.” I stride through the house, grab my shoes, shove them on, and search for my keys.
“Stop. Whatever you do, do not go to the hospital,” Aidan says firmly, and I freeze.
All those thoughts start slipping into place and I go into warrior mode. But it’s too late. I know that.
Oh god.
No. She phoned. She fucking phoned me.
“Roger—”
“Fuck.” I roar loudly and drop the phone from my ear. “Fuck! I’m going to fucking kill him!”
I kick the wall.
I hear Aidan yelling and lift the phone again.
“Do that and you’ll end up in the slammer. Even Josh and I won’t be able to get you out of that. Stay there. Cole is coming over right now.”
They preempted this. He waited to call me. Jesus fucking Christ. Even though I would’ve done the same.
I have to see her.
She’s mine.
“Aidan.” I plead in a tone I’ve never heard come out of me.
“Buddy, she doesn’t want anyone but Briar with her right now. Let the medical people do what they need to do. I’ll keep you updated.”
Noooo.
My heart shatters as his words confirm my fear, and I collapse onto the floor in a lump.
I should have protected her. She called me. I failed the woman I’m falling in love with because of my stupid ego. I walked away and left her with that fucking asshole Roger who I know is a demented piece of shit.
“Marsh. Tell me you hear me.” Aidan demands.
“Yeah. I hear you.” My voice is barely audible and rough as hell. “Tell me something . Aidan, tell me something.”
He’s quiet for a moment as I grip my short hair painfully, almost yanking it from my head.
“Trina will be okay. She’s strong and has a lot of people who love her.”
Yeah, including me.
But she doesn’t want me.
I don’t blame her. When she needed me the most I didn’t answer her call. Fucking hell. The need to destroy something is overwhelming. I’ve never felt so powerful and useless in my entire goddamn life.
My little wolf might be strong, but she’s also defensive. It’s not the same. Like all of us, Trina wants to be loved. She wants to feel safe.
She wasn’t, because of me.
Roger did this because of me. I know this more than my own goddamn name.
“We need to find him.” I growl. “He’ll run.”
“He can try. I have a team heading to his hotel right now. If he’s not there, we’ll find him.” Aidan promises me. “Full resources have been diverted.”
I can’t just sit here and do nothing. I feel like a trapped tiger ready to explode.
“Put me in.”
“Wait for Cole,” Aidan responds, and the knock at the door in the next moment lets me know he’s here.
“I need to see her, Aidan.” I get to my feet, stride across the room, and rip open the door.
Cole acknowledges me and the phone at my ear with a nod and follows me inside.
“I know. It’s not my call, Marsh. We have to respect her needs at this time.”
Shit.
“Yeah. Fuck. Tell her...” My words trail off because I don’t want anyone giving her a message. I want to see her.
“I’ll call with any updates,” Aidan says and ends the call.
I chuck the phone on the sofa, then throw my head back and let out a big fucking roar.
Motherfucking cunt!
How dare that piece of shit touch my girl!
Cole stands with his legs apart and just holds the space for me. Keeping me safe. From myself.
I can feel my body trembling with fury as I meet his stare. “I ignored her calls. Cole, I fucking ignored her calls.”
He shakes his head. “Marshall. Fuck dude. Don’t.”
I pace the floor. That caged feeling tightening around my chest.
“She needed me. It’s my fucking job to protect her.”
“No. It’s not.” He crosses his arms. “Listen to me for a minute.”
I can’t focus on anything, like I’m looking for her but she’s not here. I want to leap out a window and go to her.
She might not want me...
Fuck.
Aidan is right. I have to honor her wishes. This isn’t a lover’s quarrel. She’s been raped.
“Arghhh, that fucking cunt. I’m going to rip his head off his shoulders.”
“I’ll hold him down for you.” Cole watches me punch the wall as plaster flies everywhere.
Pain lances through my wound but I don’t care.
I do care. It fucking hurts. But I will bleed for Trina, and right now I’d be willing to go to prison for her.
I am going to kill him.
If I could turn back time and stop this from happening I would throw her over my shoulder and storm out of the party, taking her home with me.
She would be upstairs right now yelling at me, but she would be safe.
“Listen, I was there when she left. Josh and I tried to intervene, but Trina insisted she leave with him,” Cole says, and I whirl around.
“So, you’re saying it’s her fault?” I yell.
“No. Fuck no.” He holds up his hands. “You know how insistent that SEAL is. Josh wasn’t going easy on her.”
Thump, thump, thump.
My heart is like a jackhammer inside my chest knowing we are all responsible for letting her leave with Roger.
Mostly me.
She belongs to me.
“Trina wasn’t interested. She didn’t want protecting, Marsh. You can’t blame yourself for another person’s decisions.”
I can if she is my woman to protect.
The image of her walking out of the party with Miller knowing what was about to happen has my stomach curdling.
I’m about to vomit.
“Yeah? Well, I’m sorry I disagree.” I shake my head, disgusted with myself. “Trina was full of my come, wearing no panties, and I walked away. You tell me how not responsible I am for what happened.”
Cole physically recoils. “Jesus, man.”
Yeah, I shouldn’t have said that. But I needed to voice it. So everyone knows this is on me.
I walk to the sofa and sit down, dropping my head into my hands and let the weight of the situation almost crush me.
“I need to know if she’s okay. I know she’s not. But I need to see her.”
Cole sits down in the armchair.
I glance up and plead with my eyes. “It’s not my call. You know that. Trina will reach out when she is ready. Let me drive you over to BHS and we can punch some bags.”
I stare at the carpet for a long moment, then nod. Sitting around here is only going to make me go crazy. I get up and change into some workout clothes, then we leave.
When we pull up to the building, Cole reaches for my arm.
“Are you armed?” I shake my head. “Good. Go straight into the gym. Do not speak to anyone.”
The Army Ranger is right to ask me that question. I’m a trained killer on the edge of sanity right now. If anyone came near me, I’d probably strangle them.
If Roger stepped out in front of me I have no doubt, had I been armed, I would shoot him.
No doubt.
Well, I might rip his head from his shoulders as it would be far more fulfilling. He wouldn’t be breathing five minutes after I saw him. That I know to be true.
I hope he’s a stupid enough cunt to try his luck.
“We’ll find Miller,” Cole tells me. “In the meantime, don’t do anything stupid to destroy your life. Let’s go burn off some of this fury.”
I know I’m lucky to have friends in my life who are thinking straight for me while I can’t.
Men know when a guy meets the one. We are different. I’ve seen it happen. I guess I knew it was happening to me.
I was having fun, breaking my little wolf down and watching her struggle to resist me.
The game just came to an end.
One thing I will not do is desert her. I did that last night and will regret it for the rest of my life.
Cole is right to put me in front of a punching bag, but one workout is not going to fix this. Dropping my bag on the floor when I get inside the BHS gym, I pull my phone out of my pocket and scroll.
Then type.
Baby. I need to see you. To hold you. Message me when you’re ready. M x