CHAPTER THIRTY-TWO
MARSHALL
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“You’re right. I should have. This is my fault.” I say knowing she is right. I am to blame, just as I’ve been telling everyone.
Trina wraps her arms around herself, and as her anger begins to dissolve she starts to shake.
Fuck, I hate everything about this. I had her in my arms for thirty seconds and I want to feel her again so desperately. I’m not giving up like I did last time so she can fight me as hard as she wants.
First, I need to tell her everything.
“Let me explain.”
Trina storms off and then walks back glaring at me. “Fine, speak.”
I know I have one chance. I’m not going to fuck this one up. At least I hope I don’t.
“After looking into your childhood, learning about your dad and how you grew up on army bases, I figured you knew him. Knew Roger.” I explain. “I thought you had known each other as kids.”
Trina shrugs, and I relax a tiny bit now that I have her attention.
“At first I thought he was a friend. I mean, you and I had only been in bed just days before. And no, do not say it, Trina. I don’t think you’re a slut. The opposite. Hence thinking he was a guy friend. I thought you brought him along to play games with me.”
“Fair.” She lifts a shoulder and relaxes her stance.
I’m still sure I am right about that and as her eyes drop, I take that as guilt.
Then my gaze drifts over her neck and cheeks where yellow bruises stain her pretty skin, and I have to push back my anger and stay focused.
“For the record, I wasn’t planning to sleep with him,” she says, and that makes me happier than I could ever express.
It doesn’t explain why she went back to his hotel room. I want to ask, but I’m not that fucking stupid. I might not know Trina well, but I do know she isn’t a liar.
Not about this.
My lips press into a tiny smile.
“Don’t look so happy.” She growls with little fire.
Happy? I’m far from fucking happy. My intention to stay calm flies out the window.
“I am fucking happy that you didn’t want to fuck him. So, sue me. Jesus, I’d just been inside your body hours before and I told you. I told you, Trina. You are mine!”
My heart slams inside my chest as I pant, staring at her, hoping for once she will fucking listen.
Trina fish mouths it for a moment but then softly says, “You don’t mean that. You just feel guilty.”
I tilt my head at her change of tone. Then take a step forward and grab her hips. She keeps her eyes away from mine.
So damn stubborn.
“Let me finish,” I say gently. “I had top level clearance for the mission I went on. I couldn’t share anything including who was there. But I knew Roger Miller well before then. He’s always been competitive with me and others.”
Her eyes drift to mine.
“I also can’t tell you what happened last week, but he fucked up. Big time. Nearly got a lot of good men killed.”
Trina’s mouth falls open, and she grabs my upper arms. Whether she’s aware she’s doing it I don’t know, but I soak up her warmth.
“None of that mattered when I saw his hand on your ass,” I admit. “Or that you appeared interested and not in me.”
“I wasn’t,” she replies. “In him.”
She presses closer and my hands circle her small waist.
“I figured out that your dad had passed and came to the conclusion that’s why you didn’t date soldiers —toy soldiers.” I dip my head and look her right in the eye with a smile, and she blushes.
I take her chin.
“I get it, baby. Seeing my mom’s face when I left for a tour each time was hard. Really hard. I understand. It’s one of the reasons why I left the Army. Among other things.”
Trina watches me carefully.
“Why I declined to join Delta Force.” I rub my thumb over her chin. “Why I am no longer going to do any more black ops for BHS.”
Her hand flattens on my pec, and I hold it to my heart.
“I’ve been so goddamn confused. I thought I had it figured out until the moment you refused to come home with me after I fucked you in the bathroom. When you said you were going back out to Roger.”
She shakes her head, and I wish I could read her mind.
“I thought you knew he was a fucking soldier.”
She dips her head to my chest, and I break. Pulling her tightly against me, I let all the emotions I’ve been holding back go. Tears spill down my cheeks.
“I’m so fucking sorry,” I say over and over and over. “So sorry baby. So damn sorry.”
We stand there for what feels like hours. Her own tears soak my T-shirt and god I wish I could take back all her pain.
“I thought you chose him.” I sniff, holding my hand on her head. “I fucking thought you wanted him.”
“I didn’t,” Trina says, her voice muffled against me.
I drop my face into her hair and just hold her. I have no idea what’s going to happen next but having this moment to hold her and say I’m sorry is all I could have hoped for.
Protecting others has been my life’s purpose.
Of all the people in the world to have hurt... damn it, how did I let this happen?
Then it hits me. She’s not being defensive, she’s crying in my arms, opening up and letting me feel her pain.
I almost can’t breathe.
“You weren’t wrong, Marsh.” Trina uses my nickname, which I love hearing on her lips. “I’m ashamed to say I only met him the night before.”
I blanch a little.
She didn’t know him at all?
“Do you think he followed me? What are the chances he was at the same bar as me and my work colleagues?”
Fucking hell.
What a sick asshole. How he knew about Trina I have no idea. I never mentioned her at all in Kuwait. But he’s smart and it wouldn’t have taken him long to work it out once back in Los Angeles.
“Maybe.” I shake my head. “He linked you to me somehow.” I curse and pull her over to the sofa to sit down. “Fuck, I’m sorry baby.”
Trina curls up beside me and I wrap my arm around her.
“Tell me what happened next.”
“He was watching me from the bar. I ended up ordering a drink and talking to him.” She sighs, then takes my hand, her own so tiny next to it. “You can’t blame yourself, Marsh. I want to blame you, but Roger chose his actions. And I didn’t listen to Josh and Cole.”
Or me. But I don’t say it.
I thread our fingers together and lift them to kiss hers. Then wait for her to share more about what happened.
Instead, Trina says, “You scare me—”
“What, why?” I pull back and stare at her.
“Let me talk.” She chastises.
“Sorry.” I put our hands back down in my lap.
“I’m scared about how I feel about you. You assumed right. Dad dying, not coming home from his final deployment, was devasting. Mom never recovered. She’s a mess.” Her eyes lift to mine. “I don’t know if I can do it.”
Shit.
“You don’t have to, baby. I work private now.” I twist to face her. “I’m never going back.”
Trina chews her lips.
“But you could. What if another terrorist attack happens? Or something else... I know how a man like you thinks.”
She’s right.
If my country needed defending, then most of us would do what it took to keep us safe from the enemy. I won’t lie to her about that.
But some context is needed here. Trina’s fear is founded, but she can’t live in a bubble.
“You want me to become one of those window washers working on skyscrapers instead?” I can’t help my tiny smirk.
“Funny boy.” She pokes her tongue out.
I really want to kiss this beautiful woman who is stealing my heart.
My smile widens. “You know what this means?” Trina lifts her brows in question. “I think you like me.”
“No. I don’t think that’s it.” She deadpans, shaking her head, and then grins but won’t look me in the eye.
Yeah, she does.
“You like me. I think you more than like me.” I take her chin, and she fights, but finally those beautiful blue eyes connect with mine.
I can smell her raspberry lip balm, and while she’s a hot mess right now, I’ve never wanted a woman so badly in my life.
“Fine. I like you. A lot. I mean, you do have a pretty nice cock.”
“I’ll take it,” I say.
She laughs and puts her head on my shoulder.
I don’t push, just give her all the time she needs and let her take the lead.
“Marsh.” Her fingers play with mine. “What if he broke me?”
I’ll kill him. Then dig him up and kill him all over again.
“Then we’ll put you back together piece by pretty piece.” I kiss her head.
We stay right there, our fingers playing with one another’s like lovers as hope fills my chest. I think we might be okay.
“When we do, I’m going to leave your sassy mouth out, though. This has to work to my advantage.”
Trina straightens and finally her beautiful smile lights up her face.
More hope.
More proof that she’s going to survive this. I’ll make fucking sure she does.
“You love my mouth.”
“Yeah, darlin’, I do.” I lean in, waiting for her to give me the go-ahead, and when she does, I kiss her like it’s the first time.
And like I’m the last man who ever will.
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TRINA
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I MELT INTO his chest as Marshall kisses me like I’m the most important person in his world. His arms wrap around me and the next minute I’m climbing on his lap, straddling him.
My arms wrap around his neck, suddenly and eagerly needing much more. All of him. To feel him make me his all over again.
I want his scent on my skin.
Not that monster.
Not the medical people.
I want Marshall to be the only man who has access to me.
Releasing my mouth, he grabs my hips. “Just go slow, you’ve been through a lot. I can wait.”
“I don’t want to.”
“Darlin’.”
“Marsh, please.” I grind my pussy against his erection. He studies my face for a long moment as I continue moving my body.
“Arms up.” He growls and pulls off my T-shirt. No bra. “Fuck.”
His lips take one of my nipples and I cry out at the pleasure which blasts through me.
I’m not broken.
I want this.
He’s not Roger and I know the difference.
“How does...fuck this.” Marshall moves my hips, tugging at my paper-thin sleep shorts and then tears them.
Right off.
Oh, my god.
Arousal pools at my core, my entire body alive and needing everything he’ll give me. With my bare breasts bobbing in his face, he licks at them, staring up at me, and I need some of his skin.
I tug at his T-shirt and he reaches behind his head, and it’s gone the next second. Replaced by his gorgeous powerful chest. I trace the ink and tremble at how sexy this man is.
“I need these off.” Marhsall places me onto my feet and, with impressive speed, removes his jeans.
Then I’m climbing back on his lap. My hands land on his shoulders as he takes my mouth again.
Really wish I’d brushed my teeth.
He doesn’t seem to care.
“Tell me what you need.” He rasps.
“Touch me.” I guide his hand to my sensitive flesh and his thick fingers slide through it.
He rubs my bud, circling, and I shudder as pleasure rolls through me like a thunderstorm.
This man.
He just has to look at me and I turn to mush. It’s why I resisted him for so long. Listening to him tell me why he stepped away, thinking I liked Roger. That was my plan wasn’t it? I achieved what I set out to do.
And fucked up.
I don’t blame Marshall anymore.
I blame Roger.
If I want this amazing, powerful man, I need to open my heart and risk being hurt. Our feelings for one another are too big and beautiful to be shut away.
“So wet,” Marshall mumbles, reaching his tongue out and teasing one of my nipples.
Oh god.
I grab his shaft and start to stroke him.
“Jesus. Darlin’. Be careful with that.”
I keep going. I love the feel of his powerful cock between my fingers. But I want it inside me. I want to feel him fill me and own me completely.
I lift my body and direct him to my core.
“There’s no going back this time.” Marshall threads his fingers through my hair, cupping the back of my head.
“I know.”
The head of his cock slides inside me.
“You’re going to fall in love with me.”
“So confident.” I moan, sliding down another inch.
“Very.” He grips my hip with his other hand and lets out a groan. “Fuck me.”
“You might fall in love with me.” My hands land on his shoulders and I lower a little more, feeling the fullness of his swollen, pulsing erection.
God I could die happy with him inside me.
When he doesn’t reply, I open my eyes. Marshall pulls my body down, and I cry out as he completely impales himself.
“I already am, Trina Thomas. I think I loved you the moment I saw you.”
His mouth crashes down on mine as my soul bursts apart in a cascade of stars, then he fucks me like he completely and utterly owns me.
Rough, fast, crazy, and delicious.
He does.
I am utterly his.
I hold onto his shoulders, bouncing up and down on his thick delicious length. Our groans fill the room, our bodies wet as I barely breathe from his thrusts.
I’m intoxicated by our desire. Nothing exists but this man who has just declared his feelings.
Bucking, I feel him hit my sweet spot and cry out.
“Marsh. Oh Jesus.”
“Come for me baby. Oh shit.” Marshall grinds out. “Let go and scream my name.”
Then he presses his thumb on my clit, and I roll my hips as he bottoms out and then slams into me even faster.
“I can’t hold on.”
“I’m the only man who is ever fucking this pussy again. Are we clear?”
Oh god yes.
“Are we clear, darlin’?”
Slam.
“Yes, yes, oh, god. Yes!” I scream and fall over the edge.
My climax is so abrupt it freezes me, but Marshall forces my body up and over his cock, and then I feel his hot seed shoot into me.
“Trina!” he yells. “Fuckkkkk.”
Our mouths smash together again as we ride out, more slowly, the final waves of our orgasm.
Then I collapse onto his broad, inked chest. I press my fingers into his hard muscle and listen to our hearts pound as one.
“You okay?” Marshall runs a hand over my hair and down my back, settling on my ass.
“So good.” I mumble. Then I turn my head. “I don’t know if I can say it back yet.”
I need to be honest with him. I’m still dealing with what happened to me and this whole new way of trusting.
“I’ll wait forever.” He gently kisses my lips.
“Liar. You think I love you already.” I smile.
His eyes sparkle. “I would never.”
This damn toy soldier.
He might be right.