31. Bailey
bailey
. . .
Iwas relieved to have completed the album, to have it out there in the world and for the final element to my contract… to obligations, I didn't have the energy to focus on right now, to be completed.
But I also had this feeling, this untethered feeling I couldn’t really put words to, now that it was all over.
I was standing next to Cole as we watched the crew pack up and get ready to embark on whatever journey Rachel was going to put them on to get them back to where they needed to be.
The single ‘No Place I’d Rather Be’ was dominating the charts and there was so much buzz around the release of the album that it currently held five of the top ten song slots on the country music charts.
I should be on cloud nine, but I had so much anxiety in me about what came next.
With the album complete and everyone on their way out…
I didn’t have anything to focus on but the truth of what came next.
Just as the thought left me Sadie came out of her house, a bright smile on her face.
She loved having everyone here, every room filled and a sense of what we had always hoped this place could be.
Sadie walked past Rachel, Rhett, Noah and Jackson, who now that I noticed were all huddled off to the side of the SUV.
Cole greeted Sadie by pulling her in his arms, kissing the top of her head and whispering “I missed you.”, she giggled and snuggled in close to him.
But I was almost choking on the grief in his voice that he was desperately trying to hide from her.
Cole and I had agreed to give her everything she wanted, even if that meant me accepting what was to come and silencing the part of me that was screaming I needed to fix this.
The conversation by the SUV’s got a little heated and that drew my attention back to them. Letting my curiosity win, I made my way over to them hugging the crew as they packed their bags and said goodbyes to Cole and Sadie who trailed behind me.
When I got close enough to the group the conversation halted and all eyes turned to me.
What is going on?
I tried to put on a brave smile, even though it felt like something was going on that the four of them didn’t want to loop me into.
I let my eyes trail over all of them and then smiled at Rhett, who in my opinion out of the group was the most likely to spill the beans. His eyes went wide like he knew exactly what I was after.
“Heyy…” His voice came out like he was just going through puberty and that made me laugh as he cleared his throat and tried again. “Hey, Bailey.”
“What are yall up to, you look like you got caught with your hands in the cookie jar.”
They all looked at Rachel, so I turned on her and put my hands on my hips. That had zero effect on her, she huffed a laugh at me and then focused on her phone. “Early numbers are excellent for the album. Everyone is happy Bailey, you should be too.”
Jackson cleared his throat drawing my attention, “What are you going to do with all your time with us getting out of your hair?”
I opened my mouth and then closed it. How could I answer that question without bursting into tears? But I didn’t have to because Rose, Thomas, Sadie and Cole closed in around me.
“Got two houses to finish and Bailey has some relaxing to do.” Thomas wrapped an arm around me and gave me a squeeze.
Rose walked up to Jackson and gave him a big hug, “You come back anytime, you are family now.” Jackson grinned and Rhett whined, so Rose turned her attention on to him too. “You too Rhett, you come back when you need some time away from it all or when you guys want to record again.”
Everyone was talking over each other as Noah made his way over to me, He cleared his throat and I looked up at him. He had a look on his face I didn’t understand, “I am going to head back to Nashville for a little bit with the guys.”
That surprised me, Noah seemed adamant that he wasn’t returning to Nashville.
I cocked my head studying his face, but he held my eyes. “What changed?” I asked.
He smiled and shrugged indicating to the guys. “Just thought it was time to go back for a bit, need to wrap up a few things and then I will be back. I won’t be long.”
Something wasn’t sitting right with me, but before I could ask anymore questions Noah pulled me into a hug whispering into my hair, “I am only a call away and if anything changes you call me and I will be here.”
I nodded into his chest, feeling choked up. Noah and I had always been close, growing up our families so connected, but he had really stepped up in a way that I didn’t know how to thank him for. I don’t know if he will ever know how much this past month has meant to me…
Sadie gasped and a spike of fear ran through me, I twisted in Noah’s arms and was ready to fix or fight whatever was wrong. But when I faced Sadie she was smiling wide looking up at Cole with pleading eyes and then she turned them on me announcing, “I want to see the ocean.”
My heart was still hammering as I moved towards her.
“The ocean? What brought that on?” I asked.
Cole gave me big exasperated eyes, but Sadie was focused on me.
“You know when you were little and you used to ask me what it would feel like to stick your toes in the ocean and feel the water in the air?”
“Water in the air?” Rhett asked, stepping up beside me.
Sadie nodded, “Yes, Bailey has always been really in tune with water. She could be sleeping in a car and as soon as we got anywhere near a body of water, even if the windows were up she’d wake with a smile on her face, take a deep breath and say we are close… I can feel it in the air.”
Rhett was looking down at me, a smile playing across his face. But my focus was on Sadie, she had this dreamy happy look on her face.
“We never got to go together. And… And I know it probably isn’t the time or the season for it but I…” She stopped herself and that dreamy look faded as she looked off in the distance.
I wanted that dreamy smile back, I wanted to give her everything I could.
I felt the tears building again, but I choked them down and croaked “OK.”
Sadie looked up shocked and then a blinding smile broke across her face. “Really?” She squealed.
I looked up at Cole and he must have seen the same thing because he answered for me, “Really… we can drive… take the scenic route to the coast.”
Sadie was happy clapping, as Rose and Thomas came up beside us.
Rose smiled, “That sounds like a lovely idea.”
I turned to her, “Do you want to come with us?” I asked, knowing she was feeling uneasy about Luke and I still and what that meant for all of us. “You can bunk with me.”
Rose shared a look with Thomas I didn’t understand and then she smiled back at me. “Oh I have things to keep me busy here. You go have fun and we will be here waiting to hear all about your adventures when you get back.”
“I’ll bunk with you.” Rhett joked and then grunted as Jackson elbowed him, murmuring “Get in the SUV asshat.”
Rachel shook her head stepping into the group. “I will go with Bailey, I haven’t gone on a road trip in a long time and I can coordinate the best places for us to stay along the way and make sure you can enjoy the trip without being spotted.”
I still had a sinking feeling that I was missing something as we said our final goodbyes, but Sadie pulled my focus back to her and her excitement was contagious so I found myself smiling too as she snuggled up to my side and we watched the SUV’s leave, a quiet settling over the property.
That untethered feeling returned for less than a minute before Sadie was dragging me to her house asking how soon we could leave. With Cole and Rachel following behind us discussing logistics and best routes to make this trip everything Sadie dreamed of.