50. Luke
luke
. . .
By mid July the property is in full swing, and everyone is doing what they can to contribute.
The orchard trees are heavy with leaves and fruit now and every window in the main house stays open late into the evening letting music and laughter drift outside with the warm summer air.
Iris has started sleeping longer stretches which means Cole finally looks slightly less like a ghost, and Bailey smiles easier now.
Not all the time, but enough that I notice every single one.
Things between us have started to solidify since her birthday, our anniversary.
It’s not perfect. We still had hard days.
Bailey has joined me on two joint therapy sessions and those days are heavy, but also important.
We both know we need to talk through this, work our way to the new version of us that we both want.
We all still had moments where grief crashed through the middle of otherwise normal afternoons and left us wrecked for the rest of the night.
But we were trying, together this time, and somehow that changed everything.
I’m helping my dad repair one of the tractor wagons, when Rachel’s SUV pulls into the driveway.
Dad glances over his shoulder. “That woman scares me.”
I laugh quietly. “She scares everyone. That’s kind of her job.”
Rachel climbs out wearing sunglasses and heels she has no business wearing here.
Bailey appears in the front doorway almost immediately, smiling when she sees her before hurrying down the steps barefoot through the grass.
And fuck. That still gets me. The fact that Bailey still runs toward people she loves after everything she’s survived.
Rachel hugs her tightly before the two disappear into the house together.
About twenty minutes later the back door swings open again.
“Luke!” Rachel shouts.
Dad mutters, “Told you. Terrifying.”
I wipe my hands on my jeans before heading toward the house. Rachel stands in the kitchen holding a coffee like she owns the place while Bailey leans against the counter beside her eating watermelon directly from the cutting board.
Rachel looks me up and down critically. “You look… healthy.”
“Thanks?”
“I just wonder if emotionally stable Luke can still play like he used to.”
Bailey chokes on her watermelon and Rachel grins before her expression shifts slightly more serious.
“So.” She crosses her arms. “Dave’s officially fucked.”
I blink once. “Well alright then.”
Rachel looks deeply pleased with herself. “Kacey’s interview exploded exactly the way I expected.” She takes a sip of coffee casually. “Turns out giving a pissed off woman documented proof of industry manipulation, paparazzi coordination and management misconduct creates excellent television.”
Bailey places her watermelon rind on a plate and wipes her hands on a tea towel, moving closer to me.
Rachel shrugs. “Everybody wins. Kacey got her fifteen minutes and Dave’s probably going to spend the next decade trying not to get sued.”
I lean back against the counter slowly. “How bad is it?”
Rachel’s eyes sharpen slightly. “Bad enough several artists are not so quietly changing management companies.”
Bailey goes still beside me.
“What about you?” she asks carefully.
Rachel waves her off. “I’m fine. I documented everything before things blew up and I don't tread in the murky waters with assholes like Dave.”
I huff out a laugh, a loss at what to say.
“Anyway.” She turns toward me again. “There’s interest.”
I frown. “Interest?”
“In you.” Rachel lifts one shoulder casually. “Performance offers. Collaborations. A few labels sniffing around seeing if you’re planning a comeback.”
I stare at her for a second. And the weirdest part?
I don’t feel anything. Nothing like I did before when Dave would dangle interest in my face. No rush or hunger or panic that it could all disappear… Just… nothing.
Rachel studies my face carefully. “I could take you back to Nashville with me. Handle your stuff until you decide who you want long-term.”
My eyes drift automatically toward Bailey.
She’s watching me quietly now. A vulnerable look on her face, it’s enough that I understand immediately what this moment means to her.
A year ago I would’ve said yes before Rachel even finished the sentence.
I would’ve chased the high of it. The validation.
The need to be better, just so I could feel worthy enough to stand right where I am now.
Now? The thought of leaving this place makes my chest feel physically wrong.
I shake my head slowly. “I’m not leaving Bailey.”
Rachel arches a brow. “You know this kind of interest isn’t evergreen, right?”
“I know.”
“And?”
“It doesn’t matter.”
Silence settles through the kitchen. Rachel watches me for a long moment before this small knowing smile appears on her face. She looks almost relieved..
“Look at you,” she says softly. “Finally figuring your shit out.”
Bailey looks down quickly trying to hide her smile. Rachel grabs a piece of watermelon before pushing away from the counter.
“Where can I find your dad? I need someone normal to talk to before you two start making eye contact with each other again. It's cute and gross and makes me want to feel things.”
Bailey throws a dish towel at her while Rachel laughs walking toward the back door.
I watch Bailey disappear upstairs a few minutes later before heading outside again.
Only instead of going back toward my dad…
I head toward the overlook. Because I haven’t seen Cole in a while and I know where to find him. As I walk up the path I see him sitting near Sadie’s spot staring out across the valley while the sun starts sinking low behind the mountains.
He doesn’t look up when I approach.
“Want me to go?” I ask quietly.
A long pause, then a quiet, “No.”
So I sit beside him and for a while neither of us says anything. The wind moves softly through the grass while somewhere beside us the sounds of the workers drift faintly through the trees.
Cole stares out toward the mountains the whole time, then finally he blurts out, “I don’t know how people do it.”
I glance toward him even though I already know what he means.
“Do what?”
“Go on after loss.”
His voice sounds hollow and exhausted. And fuck… I know that feeling.
Cole drags a hand over his face roughly before speaking again.
“I met her and I just knew.” His voice cracks slightly.
“Like immediately. I saw all of it. The porch. Grey hair. Kids running around the property.” I stay quiet, and he continues.
“She made everything feel…” He laughs once bitterly.
“Real. Like maybe life could actually be good.”
The sunset burns gold across the valley below us while grief settles heavy between us.
“We found out she was pregnant and I swear to god it was the happiest I’ve ever been.” His eyes shine now but he keeps talking anyway. “Then we got married and I kept thinking this is it. Sadie finally gets the happy life she deserved.”
My chest tightens painfully.
“I thought I could take care of her,” he whispers.
“Thought we’d raise Iris here, have more babies and grow old…
she’d finally feel safe enough to just… enjoy her life.
” His breathing shakes and he chokes out, “Then she got sick.” The words nearly disappear into the wind.
“And suddenly everything started collapsing so fast I couldn’t fucking catch it. ”
I stare out toward the mountains silently while he tries to hold himself together beside me.
“The logical part of me knows it wouldn’t have changed anything,” he says hoarsely. “She was already so sick when we found out.” He swallows hard. “But sometimes…” His voice breaks completely. “Sometimes it feels like she gave up on me.”
Fuck.
I close my eyes briefly because grief says cruel things sometimes.
“But then she gave me Iris,” he whispers. “And I look at her and she’s Sadie.” His shoulders shake once before he forces himself to breathe again. “How do I just keep going without her?”
The question hangs between us while the sky slowly turns pink and gold.
“You don’t have to figure out forever right now,” I say quietly.
Cole looks over finally.
“Focus on today. Maybe tomorrow. Next week if you’re feeling ambitious.”
He lets out this rough exhausted laugh.
“I’m serious.” I lean back against the bench slightly. “You’re trying to survive the rest of your life all at once.”
The wind shifts around us carrying the smell of pine and summer grass.
“Do things for yourself too, not just for Iris” I tell him quietly. “And then find things for you and Iris to do together. Build new memories that belong to both of you.”
Cole stares back toward the valley again.
“I know Bailey can’t keep helping forever…”
“What the fuck are you talking about?” I cut him off.
He blinks at me, startled.
“You are lucky Bailey didn’t hear that shit,” I cut in immediately. “That little girl might be yours, but she belongs to all of us too.”
Emotion flashes hard across his face.
“She’s family, Cole. You don’t have to earn help and definitely not from Bailey.”
Silence stretches between us again.
But then he asks, “How did you survive it?”
I know immediately he isn’t talking about Sadie. He means rehab, hitting rock bottom and feeling like I was drowning.
I exhale slowly.
“Therapy,” I admit honestly. “And Rachel.”
Cole looks surprised by the second part.
“She showed up when I finally admitted I needed help.” I stare out toward the horizon quietly. “And once I said it out loud… people kept showing up.”
The sky deepens slowly toward dusk.
“You feel like you’re drowning,” I say quietly, “you tell somebody. Any of us. We’re here.”
Cole wipes at his face roughly.
“But don’t ever think there’s some timeline for being okay.”
Movement near the house catches my attention then. Rachel’s SUV pulling down the driveway.
Cole notices too, asking, “What was that about?”
I watch the taillights disappear slowly down the mountain road.
“I don’t think it’s anything good,” I admit.
Because Nashville almost ruined me once already and something tells me it was circling again.
I take a deep centering breath and I realize something. For the first time in my life I don’t want to chase, I am not looking for more… I know exactly where home is and I will be wherever she is.