ten #4
Sulim couldn’t move. She couldn’t say a word. She was in the presence of a magical murderer, after all.
“By the right of regicide, I was the rightful chief of Second Tribe. I had every right to abdicate on the spot. There were witnesses within the tribe who could have vouched that I was the one who did it. They would have, too. If I wanted it.”
“I’m guessing you didn’t.”
“Hell, no! Prison is better!”
Sulim finally swallowed the lump in her throat. “This is wild.”
“Yeah. My life changed overnight. Even my paternal grandmother doesn’t know I was in prison. Everyone thinks I was stripped of my vestments because I was fucking half the town and not tending to my duties.”
“Uh…”
“Not true, by the way. But we let that rumor run rampant. It also plays nicely into the story that I was in a silent monastery for those ten years I was away. You know, praying to the Void every day to forgive me before I went on the rest of this penance pilgrimage.”
She leaned in closer to Sulim, who did not back away.
Something about Mira’s earnest expression kept her nearby.
“I assure you, I don’t make murder a habit. I’ve only eliminated those who deserve it.”
“Are you implying…”
“Look.” Mira wagged a finger before Sulim’s face. An interesting feat, considering Mira was now close enough that Sulim could smell her breath. “I’ve already told you way too much. If I’m ever to tell you more, I’m gonna need more collateral from you, Young Lady Gardiah.”
Did she immediately sense how much Sulim resented being called that? I had forgotten about that again. Speaking with this enigmatic woman made Sulim forget a lot of inconvenient facts about herself. “What kind of collateral?”
She only asked that out of propriety. Because Sulim was not stupid.
She knew, from the moment Mira hushed those words while leaning in even closer, what she meant by collateral.
She needed something to hang over Sulim.
Something that she could not risk having leaked to anyone, least of all the family she now called her own.
Collateral. The kind of thing that could ruin Sulim’s life.
Her heart pounded as she sucked in her lips before putting them into an expectant pout. That was the thing about confident women. Sulim wasn’t just weak for them—she wanted them. Almost as much as her body did.
“My favorite kind.”
Those words didn’t have to be uttered to hit Sulim’s mouth, because that was how close Mira’s face now was to hers.
Forgive me, Void. Sulim’s body was electric.
If the rain found a way inside the barn, she was a goner.
Because that was a natural current coursing through her as she fell forward into Mira’s kiss.
This woman just confessed to murder. So what? She’s a julah. So fucking what? Maybe that made it hotter. So much so that Sulim wrapped her hand around Mira’s head and opened her mouth to let another woman’s tongue into it.
You’re married.
That was the first thing to penetrate the cracking veneer Sulim erected when she first let Mira into her heart.
But it was as easily dismissed as anything else.
If Mira’s crimes could go undetected in julah society, then Sulim’s guilt was next to non-existent as she fervently kissed the woman pushing herself around the corner of the table and attempting to angle Sulim down onto the mattress.
Collateral.
Fine. She would give Mira collateral. They were already in too deep now.
An excited little sound chirped in Mira’s throat when her hand was invited beneath Sulim’s shirt.
It was the most innocent sign that a lovesick girl lurked within that hardened shell.
I love innocence. Sulim still had plenty left in her, right?
Then let Mira feel it. Let her feel Sulim up and remind her what it was like to be loved on by another woman.
She kissed like she might never again; they stayed upright out of fear of going too far.
I want to go too far.
Because that was the thing about Sulim—once she decided she was fine with sleeping with somebody, she went all in. Her girlfriends. Her husband. This woman, who appeared just to ruin her life.
Honestly, though… none of them made her feel like this.
Maybe it was the strangeness of her life over those past two years.
Survival mode had taught Sulim that making concessions on her true desires as long as what she ultimately received was palpable was…
well, it trumped following her heart and potentially ending up destitute and homeless.
She couldn’t rely on her aunt and uncle forever—the only reason they raised her until adulthood was out of duty and because it behooved them to have extra help around the farm.
As for life here on Arrah? It could be worse. Things could always be worse.
And one day, she could truly do whatever she wanted, even as a married woman. Right?
Like this. This was what she wanted to do.
Only a few seconds had passed since Mira’s kiss slammed into her, yet it felt like half of an eternity.
Sulim’s life flashed before her eyes. My first kiss with a girl.
The first time I thought I might be in love.
Tragedy. Heartbreak. Meaningless one-night stands and a man who proposed to me.
The newness of upholding the status quo had kept her satisfied for the first two years she was with Sonall, but the past few months showed him to have worn out some of his welcome.
Sulim had known this about herself, though.
Which was why one of the terms of their marriage was that they could open it to other people once enough time had passed.
Had it? Had enough time passed for her to bring it up with him?
No.
She also knew that like she knew herself so well. This moment with Mira was diabolical.
Sulim attempted to cling to that kiss even as Mira’s lips bounced off hers, a chuckle dressing down the air between them. Sulim clutched one of Mira’s arms in the hopes of keeping her close, but the other woman pulled her hand out of Sulim’s shirt as if she wanted to save the rest for later.
“I knew it.” That hiss washed over Sulim as she closed her eyes and let Mira tip her chin up with two tender knuckles. “You’re feisty.”
She said whatever came to mind, determined to let her thoughts flow. It was the only way to test how serious Mira was right now. “You’re trouble.”
“Am I?” Those fingers now brushed against Sulim’s cheek before smoothing her short hair back into place. “I have no attachments to this place. I’m just passing through. Or does that turn you on even more?”
Sulim shuddered. She hated to contemplate the truth.
“Would you let me right now?” Mira’s amused whisper killed the last of Sulim’s sanity. “Right here? Just the two of us?”
Yes. That was the thing that both excited and embarrassed Sulim the most.
She would. She was putting everything—including her honor—into Mira’s hands, as if she could trust any julah ever again.
Let alone one who looks at me like she does.
Sulim’s heavy-lidded eyes were already closed again, ready to embrace the blackened world that revealed itself to her as she leaned in for another kiss.