thirteen
What the hell have I done?
Sulim was still awake well after midnight, when she was usually so exhausted she fitfully slept until dawn.
Not tonight. Instead of dreaming of nothing and staying comfortable beneath the duvet, she stared into the darkness of her room and replayed every moment she had shared with Mira since that woman and her entourage arrived over a week ago.
Funnily enough, Sulim hadn’t been ashamed the night before. Hell, she slept fine! As if she had done nothing! After exchanging goodnight with her husband and speaking of what was happening the following day, Sulim read some of her book and went right to sleep.
Tonight? All of her sins haunted her.
Sonall was behind her, facing away and snoring. After that day’s sudden arrival of Lady Kathe and her son, Sulim was content to throw herself into whatever chores Jacelah assigned her, welcoming the distraction. But then Lady Joiya did those aura readings and…
Something about it unsettled Sulim. The way she looked at us… But even before that, she had to determine what bothered her right in the soul.
I kissed her. What the hell was I doing?
Sulim pulled the duvet over her head, as if that would shield her from what her husband would think.
God damnit. A girl listened to one sermon, had one fight, and went off to a barn to make out with a foreigner who would live thousands of years.
How easy am I, anyway? Yes, Mira was attractive.
Yes, she flirted in the exact way that did Sulim in, not that anyone believed her.
And the way she kissed? Mira might as well have been doing it with true purpose, not just for sport.
Because that’s what Sulim saw it as. Sport. That was why Mira demanded collateral.
Just that word made Sulim swallow.
If anyone found out… Perhaps the person least shocked would be Sonall, but she hadn’t cleared it with him.
Why would she? They had only been married two years.
Too much was going on in the family. They hadn’t concentrated enough influence in the house to get away with running their marriage their own way.
Besides, it wasn’t fair to ask for an open marriage so soon.
Certainly, Sulim had not been planning on falling for a…
Wait. Stop. Falling for? How old was she? Did she have no control over this situation?
She tossed back the duvet and got up, careful not to wake her husband as he remained passed out behind her. As Sulim’s eyes adjusted to the darkness, she welcomed the moonlight illuminating the room and thought of the first time she stole away in the shadows of Arrah.
She had been married a month and was back from her honeymoon for two weeks.
Back before she and Sonall had renovated the barn loft and she had nowhere to escape at any hour, let alone early in the morning.
If Sulim wanted privacy for her thoughts, she was stuck wandering the quiet house like a ghost.
Honestly, she should have guessed that she wasn’t the only one awake at that hour.
“Are you stalking me?” Mira lightly teased when Sulim encountered her in the empty ballroom.
The other woman was curled up in one of the window benches overlooking the side garden, currently blooming a riot of pink and purple flowers that Jacelah was quite proud of, if anyone let her go on about it.
One couldn’t see them that late at night, though.
All Sulim could see was the hand before her face…
and the moonlight streaking across the top of Mira’s head.
“What are you doing here?” Sulim asked, holding her sweater closer to her body. She was dressed in nothing but a loose shirt and pajama bottoms, both of which hid her figure… but neither concealed the fact she wasn’t wearing underwear. “I hope you’re not smoking. Jacelah would kick you out.”
Mira offered a wan smile—something Sulim only noticed because, as she was ashamed to admit, she was staring.
Something she could not bring herself to do all day.
She had even avoided dinner by saying her stomach was upset, which didn’t stop her from asking Sonall to bring her a plate when he was finished.
Stupid. When would Sulim face what she had done?
“No. I’m not smoking.” Mira continued to gaze out the window. “I’d be outside, but it’s a bit cold at night, isn’t it? Don’t suppose it warms up in the summer months.”
“Of course it does. That’s what summer does.”
Mira hooked a finger in her direction; Sulim shook her head.
“I want to show you something.” Mira pointed outside. “I promise it’s innocent.”
“Why do you have to put it that way?” Nevertheless, Sulim took a step forward. “You make it sound scandalous when you say that.”
“Because I knew you wouldn’t unless I said something to put scandal in your brain.”
Sulim knew that whatever she said would only be used against her. So she walked forward, keeping her voice low so it wouldn’t echo in the ballroom. “You’re naughty.”
“Darling,” Mira said with a languid grin, “you don’t know how naughty I can be.”
She’s flirting with me. The more Sulim thought about what happened in the barn, the more she realized that it was inconsequential to someone like Mira.
She wasn’t the married one. She wasn’t the one beholden to this place.
Regardless of what Mira had done in her past, she could up and leave the situation whenever it pleased her.
So, there was no point getting too involved with her.
To have an affair with her was beyond selfish—it was foolish.
Yet Sulim finished her approach, glancing out the window to where Mira pointed.
“Do you see that cluster of stars a few inches from the moon there?”
It took Sulim a moment to realize Mira referenced The Duel, a constellation of Arrah’s star system most famous for navigating the seas of the northern hemisphere. “Yes. You mean The Duel, don’t you?”
“That’s what it’s called in Basic. In Julah, the translation would be The Consorts.”
Sulim pulled her head back. “You know about the stars in this galaxy?”
“The important ones, of course. Astronomy is one of the greatest sciences on Yahzen. I definitely dabbled in it as an elective in my Academy courses.”
Mira glanced at Sulim before continuing.
“Every galaxy known to us… and I mean every galaxy that we julah have mapped, has an example of The Consorts. Yes, from the Zentah Galaxy, where my home planet is, to Terra III’s Crucible Galaxy, to even the Waterfall Galaxy here around Arrah… anyway, even Earth’s Milky Way Galaxy has The Consorts.
Some of the julah researchers there have mapped the stars as we understand them. They were very excited to reveal The Consorts.”
“So, what you’re saying is that they represent two people wherever we go.”
Mira nodded. “As a kid, I was taught that they represent the two first mortals to breathe life. On Yahzen, of course. The cradle of all life in the universe.”
Should Sulim roll her eyes? What’s the point? We’re taught the same thing about Yahzen. Supposedly, humans came from Yahzen, too, but nobody could explain that one.
“One man and one woman. There on the left… you can see her hair. And on the right are his long legs. It’s said that the unknown creator placed them fully formed on Yahzen to rejoice in the bounties of life. But the man died long before the woman,
and her grief was so strong and her desire to not be alone so great that she willed herself back to the Void. The first two people alive would have been the last if it were not for the unknown creator realizing she had to put many people on the planet at the same time. That way, when one died,
their survivors could find solace in each other, and mortals would find the will to carry on.”
“That’s…” Sulim relaxed her shoulders. “A nice sentiment.”
Mira pulled her knees up to her chest and motioned for Sulim to join her on the bench. Against her better judgment, Sulim sat, shoulder against the window. “Why are you up so late?”
With her eyes locked on The Consorts, if Sulim could convince herself they were that, she said, “I couldn’t sleep.”
“Too bad. Does your husband snore terribly?”
Why must you remind me? “Not really. Only when he’s utterly exhausted.”
Sulim knew what Mira was probably thinking.
“When you’re used to a job like the one around here, you have a higher standard for exhaustion. It’s always the worst right before winter. Then, not much goes on for a couple of months besides taking care of the horses closer to our property. Especially if there’s ice and snow.
Temperature here is pretty moderate, but…” She stopped. “I’m rambling.”
“I like your rambles. I like learning things.”
Sulim turned her whole torso toward the window.
It really is clear up there tonight… The moon was bright enough that she could see the main settlement with her naked eye.
If she stared for a few minutes, she might even see a space cruiser take off as a tiny black dot across the moon.
I wonder how those mercenaries land here without going through the moon.
Was that part of their treaty with the Federation?
That if they were on the job, they could bypass immigration and just… kill their targets?
“You know,” Mira said, as if she knew how to cut through Sulim’s thoughts, “Arrah is quite the opposite of Yahzen when it comes to foreigners. On Yahzen, humans must be processed through the capital before they go anywhere else. If you’re a big enough VIP, you can be processed in Garlahza.
The moons are off limits unless a julah takes you, and you’ll never get away with that on Bah Zenlit, where the Academy is, unless you’re there to be studied.”
“They study humans at the Academy?”
“Of course. The medical and healing schools, especially. Don’t worry. The subjects are paid quite well and put up in some of the nicest apartments near the School of Hybrid Studies.”
Mira grinned. “And, of course, they’re very popular on the dating side of things. Honestly, I think the Academy encourages it. They love it when a human gets pregnant while being studied.”
“Oh, my God.”
“Then, of course, there’s all the drama about what stupid student fathered it…”
“Very silly.” She cleared her throat. “You never said why you’re skulking around here.”
“Skulking? Darling, you’re the one skulking. I’m just existing. But… if you must know…”