25. Aria
25
ARIA
A few months later
T he bass thumps through my chest, reverberating through every fiber of my being as I dance in the dimly lit club, surrounded by swirling lights and the scent of sweat and alcohol.
We crossed the border over to Antium City — The Big A —to go to the Watertower Bar .
Cassie , a longtime friend looks back at me, her cheeks flushed, her eyes glossy. She looks so carefree, so uninhibited. And I’m …jealous.
I’m definitely drunk. Just not the happy-go-lucky drunk like her.
She leans in close to yell over the loud music. “ I’m going to the bar to get another drink. Want anything?”
I smile and shake my head, raising my glass. I’m still drinking my tequila on the rocks.
She gives me a kiss on the cheek before bouncing away, and I chug the remainder of the liquid, adding to my drunken haze.
As soon as Cassie’s out of sight, a man appears in front of me.
“ Hey there, beautiful. You seem a little lonely. Mind if I join you?”
Burp .
God . I shouldn’t have drunk that tequila so fast.
I’m too far gone to refuse. With a tipsy giggle, I sway closer to him, letting his arms wrap around my waist as we move in sync.
When he brings his face closer to mine, his breath hot on my lips, reality crashes back in, a slow, almost sobering wave that pulls me back to the present. I can’t be seen like this, not with another man, not in public. Antium City may be across the pond from Cebrene , but the risk is still there. What would Andrew do if he found out?
I’m such an idiot.
I push the man away, stumbling slightly as I regain my balance. “ I can’t,” I mumble, my words slurred.
“ Come on, gorgeous. You look like you could a distraction.” He leans in closer, his breath hot against my ear. “ And if you want to have some real fun, follow me.” His gaze flickers to a nearby table where a group of girls dance with abandon. One girl with long, tousled hair twirls around, her arms outstretched, eyes closed. Another , with vibrant tattoos tracing intricate patterns across her skin, moves with such raw sensuality that it pulls me in.
They look like they’re having the time of their lives, as if their every worry in the world has melted away, leaving behind only the beautiful, radiant version of themselves.
Everything I’m not. Not anymore.
A third girl, a redhead, catches my gaze and grins, gesturing for me to join them.
I hesitate only a moment before I follow the guy, drawn to the promise of escape. But as I approach the table, a sinking feeling settles in the pit of my stomach. One of the girls is snorting something off the glassy surface, her eyes glazed with a euphoria that sends warning bells ringing through my head.
I look away, planning to go back to the dance floor and find Cassie , when I catch a glimpse of the ring on my finger, glinting in the flashy club lights. My upcoming wedding, a presence looming over me like a shadow.
Lately , Andrew’s been coming around more, giving me gifts, making plans for our future as if talking about the weather, as if nothing happened, as if he didn’t put his hands on me, threaten my family. His existence is felt in every corner of my life, a reminder of who he is, of whom I’m supposed to be. His wife .
The girl kneeling in front of the table offers me some.
I’m not letting you marry him.
Dion’s words come back to haunt me. A promise he couldn’t keep, not until it was too late. It’s better like this, so you can protect both him and your family . My heart sinks just as my head spins, the alcohol getting to me even more.
I lean forward, inhaling sharply as the powder enters my system, a rush of warmth spreading through my veins.
I push all thoughts of my life aside, burying them beneath the haze of alcohol and drugs and losing myself in the moment as the world spins around me.
A few hours later, I stumble into the foyer of my home, the scent of alcohol clinging to my clothes like a suffocating cloud.
I wasn’t intoxicated enough to black out, unfortunately , but the night is a haze.
My steps falter as I climb up the stairs to reach my bedroom. Everything seems so big, and my head keeps spinning. The tequila sits heavily in my stomach, but the warmth of it is fleeting, leaving me colder and emptier than before.
When I reach my room, I collapse onto my mattress, sweat coating my skin. My high crashed like a tidal wave, the remains of the cocaine still lingering in my veins, leaving a bitter taste on my tongue.
In the last few weeks, I’ve found that, when intoxicated, the edges of my shitty reality blur into a comforting fog. I no longer think about my family, my fiancé. Or him .
For a brief while, I’m able to forget everything. The forthcoming wedding, the shattered remnants of my heart, the expectations pressing down on me like a suffocating weight.
But when the alcohol-induced euphoria began to fade a few hours ago, the guilt and shame set in with a vengeance. The bitter taste of self-loathing rose in my throat, a visceral reminder of my own weakness. I’d never tried cocaine before. How could I succumb to such impulses?
I try to push away the feelings of disgust and stand in front of the mirror, staring at the reflection that no longer feels like mine.
I’ve been withdrawing from myself, becoming a mere shell of the person I once was.
Who am I becoming? Aria , the dutiful daughter? Aria , the obedient fiancée?
Tears well in my eyes, silent and unrelenting.
I wipe them away. Maybe , just maybe, this pain is a necessary evil, a storm through which I must pass to emerge stronger on the other side.
Dion’s face, his voice, echo again in the recesses of my mind, like they have been doing every day.
But that’s done. He was a casualty of circumstances beyond our control, and I have to accept our fate.
A part of me still hopes that he’ll genuinely be able to find a way out of this, no matter Andrew’s threats. I’ve tried to mourn the loss of what could have been, but beneath the facade of composure, I can feel the cracks beginning to form. How much longer can I keep up this pretense without breaking? How much more of myself will I have to sacrifice on the altar of societal expectations?
I stumble out of my room, thoughts spinning. The walls seem to close in, suffocating me. I need air, something to ground me. The woods, my sanctuary, call to me.
Swaying slightly, I navigate through the house. Each step is slow, careful— I don’t want to wake anyone. My hand brushes against the wall for support as I reach the patio door.
The cool night air greets me when I step outside, filling my lungs with a refreshing chill. I pause, inhaling deeply, savoring the moment, then make my way toward the forest.
The night is dark and eerily quiet. I pass my garden, the familiar scents barely registering. As I reach the treeline, a faint rustle breaks the silence. I freeze, my heart pounding. Last time, it was Dion who cornered me here. I haven’t seen him in months. Could it be him?
I scan the shadows but see nothing.
With a deep breath, I continue into the forest. The darkness envelops me, the silence almost deafening. Suddenly , I see a figure in the distance heading toward the street on the other side of the woods. It looks like a man. Fear grips me, rooting me in place. He turns, sensing he’s not alone, and our gazes lock. The moon casts a pale glow on his face, making his eyes shine. I try to discern their color, but it’s impossible in this light. He’s too far for me to make out his features, but I’m too scared to speak, to move. My hands are trembling, a cold sweat forming on my brow.
We stare at each other in silence, the moment stretching on. Then , he disappears into the darkness. I remain frozen, my body refusing to move until he’s out of sight. My legs finally obey, and I scurry back to the house, heart racing. Adrenaline courses through me, making my head spin even more.
I’m not sure if what I saw was real. It must be the alcohol or the coke. Shaking , I make my way back to my room and collapse onto the bed, ignoring the sweat and the aches throughout my body.
Exhaustion washes over me, and I close my eyes, hoping for sleep to take me away from this nightmare.
I drift into a fitful sleep, but the image of the man lingers.