Chapter 13
Chapter thirteen
After a few days of being close to Emma at school, but not close enough, I was dying inside.
My melody was having issues from being distant from hers.
I would have rather taken a thousand lashings than to have to deal with the complex emotions that Emma made me feel.
She avoided me every chance she could, which I could understand, but at the same time, I wondered how she couldn’t see how much stronger I was than Shadrict ever could have been?
Clearly I needed to show her who I truly was.
Maybe I could start that finally because I desperately needed to see her, maybe to touch her—hold her if I was really lucky.
Gaining control was a give-and-take battle.
I couldn't deny myself completely–but Emma in small doses?
I needed, at least, that. If I could spend some time with her, it would help control my emotions and actions, and my melody needed to be around her.
As I entered the flower shop, where Emma and her aunt worked, a chime signaled my arrival.
I watched her head pop up as she checked to see who had entered.
Immediately, my melody latched onto hers, and for a few moments, eternity existed as our melodies rejoiced in being together.
I didn't want it to end; I could have remained there, staring at her with her melody wrapped around mine forever.
The only thing I would have changed was the physical distance between us.
I became lost within a recent memory as I stared at her.
I placed my hand above her head, keeping her prisoner.
She wouldn’t be able to escape. I enjoyed the feeling of power over her.
I moved a piece of hair from her face as I leaned in over her shoulder, breathing softly upon her ear, inhaling her strawberry scent.
It was maddening. Her feelings, although mostly guarded, slipped out, and she wanted her melody to be released, to connect with mine—but was ashamed to allow it.
I wanted to tell her that she had nothing to be ashamed about.
“My melody is Shad’s melody, so you see, you are also connected to me.”
She shook her head, not wanting to believe the truth of it. “Get away from me before I make it so that you can never have children.”
I wanted to pull her into my arms right then and experiment with that exact idea.
“I can show you how we can make—” before I could expand, she kneed me in the groin. Pain shot up into my gut, and I bent over.
“Nicely played, sweetheart, but the only one you are hurting is yourself. I know how sad you would be if we could never have children in the future,” I managed to say with a forced smile. She only glared at me. Her face looked adorable when she was shocked by my words.
“I would never ever want to have—ew, you are so gross.”
I let her walk away a bit as the pain subsided; then I spoke into her soul: It is only a matter of time. I can wait.
Another memory formed between us: me flashing my camera in her face, and her disapproving look. Those images I had printed, and they had turned out heartbreakingly beautiful. I shook my head, trying to clear my melody of its traitorous thoughts; they distracted me.
I faded from my memory, back into the present,
“Emma, sweet, how are you this fine evening?” I asked as I leaned against the large counter, my memories abandoning me.
I set my camera down, wanting to get a different image of her than I had before.
On the previous occasion, she was devastatingly miserable, and it showed.
I wondered what other emotion I could get out of her—
“Just working,” she said, but I could sense her trying incredibly hard to shield everything else from me.
She moved to the other side of the counter and started to cut some flowers.
I walked over to her and noticed how her hands moved so artfully to avoid the thorns and how a few petals fluttered and fell onto the counter.
It reminded me of when I’d gone into her room and moved her flowers around, my way of letting her know that I was around her, watching her.
I didn't think at that time how creepy it seemed—but I guess, looking back at it with a soul, it was not the most comforting thing.
It, rather, appeared to her that I was, basically, stalking her—which thing was actually frowned upon on earth, and indeed, it was considered creepy.
“Working, huh?” I asked, picking up a petal from a flower as it fell to the counter. I also picked up my camera, zooming in on the image, the background out of focus. I looked up to see that Emma was watching me. When her eyes met mine, she turned away.
“Emma?”
Her thoughts started to linger; her shields were coming down just enough, and I could gather a single train-of-thought.
She was getting better at shielding herself from me, it was a gift to hear it.
She was thinking about the differences between my brother and me.
She admitted that I was attractive, and I smiled at that.
One point for me, Shad.
“Emma, I do believe you think I am hot—” I chuckled, reaching my hand out to touch her jaw. She saw something redeemable inside of me. I had hope; maybe we could do this; maybe, just maybe, she will realize that we are supposed to be together. “Don't worry, I will not tell my brother.”
“Go away, Cade.” She quickly moved across the room and started to spray the flowers.
“I can't, Emma. You are my other half.”
She rolled her eyes. “No, I am not,” she said, looking at the purple roses and spraying them.
Then I could see it, see a memory of Shad’s when he had once come into that store, and bought a purple rose to place upon her car. His own memory along with her thoughts from her melody of that event floated into my soul, and I could see how captivated he had been by her.
I hate it. I hate that he can see it; that memory is mine, she said within her soul.
Shad’s thoughts and feelings rushed through me again as if on a mission to destroy my composure, and I tried to pull them back, but Shad’s feelings and memories were only getting more and more difficult to combat within myself.
“Shad, ever the romantic,” I said with a chuckle, trying to distract myself from those inner struggles. She sprayed water on my face in annoyance, then turned away.
“Don't talk about him.”
“It’s true, sweet. He was ever the charmer.”
Her body’s silhouette was framed perfectly in front windows of the shop.
The setting sun, with its pinks and purples, gave off an other-worldly beauty illuminating behind her.
I clicked a few times on my camera, capturing those moments.
She turned back around, and I stood there, looking at the digital viewfinder on my camera's screen.
I know Shad, and he was honest with me. He waited for me, didn’t he? I will wait for him.
“I see you are rethinking my brother and his virtues.”
“I am not,” she said, slamming the spray bottle onto the counter.
“It's okay. I don't want to stop you. Many have been fooled by him in the past.” A lie.
I wasn't sure she would be able to pick up on it. Lying, while having a soul, was difficult, but I found a way around it. I didn’t want her to like my brother, but I could see how she viewed him: perfect. Did that lie fit my needs? Yes.
“How would you even know, Cade? You were, supposedly, dead for most of his life.”
“Ah, but I heard all I needed to hear, sweet.”
“Stop calling me that.”
“But Emma, you are just that—my sweet love, the other half to my soul.” I walked over to her to touch her.
She pulled back.
“If I buy you flowers, will you let me kiss you?” I knew what her answer would be, but I was, again, trying to remind her of what Shad had done to gain her trust and to show her how flimsy of a relationship they really had.
“Get out of my head! And he didn't buy me flowers so that I would kiss him. I really—” she stopped speaking, but her words floated to me between our souls: I hate you.
“Hate is close to love, my dear,” I took her shoulders in my hands.
She wasn't going to get away from me that easily.
I pulled my arms around her tightly and wanted to shout for joy as her body seemed to melt against mine as it relaxed and let our melodies really meld together.
I could sense that note inside of her, the one I needed and had, strangely, almost entirely forgotten about—that one note that Shad had given to her.
I needed it if I was ever to return to Terra.
I would bide my time. I needed more time.
“Look at me,” I commanded, and she obeyed, looking directly into my eyes.
You are not Shad, she said inside our souls.
“I am very glad I am not Shad right now,” I whispered into her ear, close but still in control of myself. I was getting better at controlling my physical desires.
“I can't,” she said, trying to move away. This is the man who murdered my parents.
I did not murder them, sweet. It was an unfortunate accident, caused by some of my men. We needed to get past that. She needed to know that I was on her side.
What?
Some of my men were watching you and got too close. Don't worry. I took care of them. I never wanted your parents to die, Emma.
I could see her thinking over my words as I grazed my fingers up and down and in circles on her waist, surprised that she let me touch her in that way without pulling away from me.
Am I getting to her? Finally breaking down that wall?
Will she finally be mine? We will be so incredibly powerful together.
You hurt Ryker. I could never like you after what you did to him.
Ah, Rykerian, the knight. I wasn’t ever going to kill him; I was just trying to get information out of him. It's nothing he hasn't done to his enemies before, or even to Shad, for that matter. But I do apologize for the pain that it has caused you.
And what about Shad? What about stealing his melody?
My brother, ah, yes. He was always the beloved one. I am not sorry about his fate, yet I am sorry for the pain that it has caused in you.
I can’t ever forgive you for what you have done, no matter how you justify it.
“You can, Emma. You, so very much, can.” I moved her face so that she was an inch away from me.
“Please, I love him,” she pleaded as if that could discourage me from finally tasting her lips.
“Shh, I know you love him, Emma, but you could love me, too.” My lips touched her soft cheek.
The warmth and shivers made me nearly unable to control myself.
I kissed her cheek, softly, inhaling her.
She tried softly to move away, but I held her firm.
I wasn't going to let her go—not until I was done. “You could love me, Emma, if you tried. We could be everything.” My mouth got closer and closer to her lips, and just as I was about to finally taste her lips, my brother’s name and image popped into my mind over and over again.
“That is a buzz kill,” I said, moving away from Emma, but not letting her go, not yet. I was in control. “I am not the biggest fan of having the woman who I am trying to kiss thinking about my brother.”
She made an attempt to move away again, and that time I let her.
“I love him; I will never get over him, or what you did to him.”
“I am not the man you think I am, Emma. You will see, very soon.” I gave her one last look before I turned, grabbed my camera, and walked out the door to a chime.
I couldn't be in there any longer. I wasn't a gentleman like Shadrict—my perfect brother, and the things I wanted to do with Emma were not mere sweet kisses.
I had other ideas, like going into the back room and getting lost together.
But I needed to remain in control. I needed to be able to walk away.
She could not control me. I held all the cards, well, except for the one note from her melody, which I desperately needed.