Chapter 16
Chapter sixteen
Islammed my fist into the steering wheel.
I was still in front of Emma's house, sitting in my car after dropping her off.
That had not gone to plan–she saw far too much into my past. She was never supposed to see that, what my life had been like on Terra.
The pity in her eyes made me ready for murder.
I was strong, and I was still in control.
Even though I hated both Tarick and my father, what they had done to me had made me strong.
Images of a dark, wet dungeon flashed before my eyes.
She saw it: me beaten and tortured. She saw the blood splatters on the wall.
I squeezed my eyes shut and put my head on the steering wheel. I thought over the moment again.
What was that? She soul-spoke with me, her soul confused. Did you beat that boy?
I would never beat a child, Emma, I told her.
I quickly tried to sift through the memories, being even more careful about what I showed her, not letting her pull anything else from me.
But it was too late; her melody was making guesses, connections, and forming conclusions; she thought it was me.
She had gotten to the truth. Blast it all.
I banged my head on the steering wheel with a grunt, I needed a break. My melody was out of control, and it reached out loudly. I was so tired.
I lay my head back on the head rest, looking through the sunroof at the stars.
Cadian? I looked to the door, wondering if Aiden was beside me. No one was there. Was I going insane just because Emma had seen one small glimpse of my life?
Cadian?
Cadian?
Cadian.
I froze, realizing that it wasn't someone outside. It was coming from within me. But it wasn't Emma's voice, nor was it her soul, speaking to me.
Is it a memory? What is happening?
I closed my eyes, telling myself that it didn't sound like my brother, that such a thing was impossible.
Then it became clear that I was wrong–oh so wrong.
I wanted to leave you a message, brother, Shad’s voice spoke from within my soul.
You may have my soul for the moment; you may think you have won, but nothing, and I do mean absolutely nothing, will keep me from Emma.
Even if I can never reclaim my soul from you, I will cause my soul to take over your entire being and body, just so I can be with her.
All of your memories will then fade away, and I will take you over, mind, body, and soul, if I must.
I gasped, clutching my heart as his intensity of fury flowed through my soul.
Those words from my brother had been placed there when I removed his soul and placed it inside the midnight crystal.
It was impressive how he could plant such a message inside my soul to be revealed at just the right time, when I was the most vulnerable.
I did not want to admire my brother, but I did admire that skill.
But if he could do such a thing, so could I one day.
I cursed my brother's name under my breath as my breathing became heavy and shivers overtook me.
Someone slammed into the side of my car door, causing me to flinch in my seat. I looked outside after rolling down the window, and there he was–Shad, staring down at me. I got goose-bumps. Ancients, I could not handle another thing being thrown at me.
“We need to talk, brother,” Shad said, his black-blue hair so similar to my own, except it partially covered his eyes. Slightly unnerved, going from one threatening message from Shadrict to him in real life, glaring at me, I took in a deep shuttering breath. I feigned confidence.
“Oh, really?” I asked, opening my door, then closing it to lean against it as I crossed my arms. He looked as awful as I felt.
He appeared to be transforming into a soulless faster than anyone else I’d ever seen.
Why? I wondered and then pushed back any remorse for him.
He had some dark circles under his eyes, and there was a paleness to his skin, so light that I wondered if it had come from the moon's glow, or perhaps, from the loss of blood.
I wondered when it was that he had first started to lose blood.
He stood there, wearing a black sweatshirt and jeans, hands inside the pocket of his sweatshirt.
He just glared at me. “What do you need to discuss, brother?” I asked.
“What are you doing?” he asked, his eyes burning into mine.
“I just dropped Emma off.”
“I mean, what is your endgame here. I know that it isn’t to play nice and have some happy ending to your sad excuse of a life,” Shad asked.
“Excuse me, but need I remind you that, although we are brothers, we do not know each other,” I spat at him.
“I heard what you did. All of the kingdoms know. You will not receive a warm welcome."
“So, you remember, do you?” I walked around him as I spoke. “Do you also remember Father and his favorite weapon of choice?” I asked, wondering how much of his life he could actually recall.
“All I know is that you are not going to harm us.”
“Oh, and I am sorry, but it doesn't matter what you want; you won't be around for the outcome anyways. You have, what, a week left?” I smirked. “Then it is bye-bye Shad-ey boy.”
He walked over to me, grabbing the collar of my shirt, shoving me against the car door.
“I have seen the way Emma looks at me. I know that she isn't falling for whatever plan you have contrived. She is my everything. I am hers, I saved her—she saved me. We are bound together, and she hates you.”
“Interesting, but she didn't say that tonight when I kissed her throat—”
He slammed me against the car, and I had to admit he did have more strength in him than the knight did. He shoved me a second time, and my patience was waning, even for my soulless brother.
“Leave her alone—she has already been through enough.” Shad coughed and let me go as he spit out blood.
“How long?” I asked, fixing my collar as he stood back up to his full height.
“How long, what?” he asked, pulling out a tissue from his pocket and wiping his mouth.
“How long have you been losing blood? That is a sign that your end is near—or what we say at my house—”
He interrupted me and said, “I am dying—at your hand, and you make jokes? I may not remember most of my life, but you are my brother, my flesh and blood. That is supposed to mean something; at least, it means something here,” Shad said.
“Believe me, brother, if anyone else had my soul, I would never have touched you. You are more formidable than I realized. But alas, Father chose to give you my soul; it wasn't my fault that you were born without one. It also, I guess, wasn't your fault that he thought you more worthy than I.”
“I don't believe any of that drivel,” Shad said in a rage. “That is my soul. You lost yours because of what you did.”
“If you can believe that. Clearly, you do not remember our dear old dad.”
“I remember my mother, and I remember a–sister.”
“Ah, yes, I've seen her in your memories. I've never met her—I was gone before she was born. How nice for you.” I was starting to get bored with the conversation. There was no point in talking to Shad. What was done was done. Emotions were emerging within me, unwanted ones from my mental files, so I needed to leave before I started to feel bad for the brother who had been given everything, all while I’d had everything taken away.
“Just, don't hurt her.” His voice cracked. “Please do not use her, she does not deserve any more pain. If you care at all for her, then promise me you will not hurt her.”
I could not promise such a thing. Not because I wanted to hurt the girl, but because some pain would come as I worked on separating her feelings from Shad onto me.
“Honestly, I am astounded that you even care—most soulless, at this point in their transition, barely recall their own name.” It was a partial truth.
Sometimes, near the very end, a soulless might recall more about who they had been—echoes of their departed soul, fighting one last time before death. But Shad didn't need to know that.
“I could never forget her,” he whispered. “She is my soul.”
“Don't worry. Whatever I do is nothing compared to what you have done to her.” At school, his soulless behavior had been slowly breaking Emma’s heart.
It was expected, and not even fully his fault.
Soulless have a way of doing things opposite of what they would have done if they still had their soul.
“What is that supposed to mean?”
“You haven't been a good little boy, Shadrict.
You become more and more soulless each day, and as this has been happening, the things you have done or have left undone will forever be burned into Emma's mind. Such a pity, really.” Especially the flirting his soulless self had engaged in.
It was good for me and my plans. He glared at me again.
Those soulless black eyes piercing in a way they shouldn't have.
“I can not control my soullessness. I have tried to fix the things I have broken. If you have a decent bone in your body—just do right by her. Hurt me, let me die, I do not care. But spare her,” Shad said.
I tried to keep the surprise from my face.
His devotion to her, even in such a state, was quite shocking.
It was a pity that such a powerful and strong being had to die.
I shoved that thought away, placing it deep into a file and locking it tight.
I needed to leave before I felt any more for my brother.
I didn't like the things my soul’s melody thought about his current state.
“I am done with you.” I raised my hand and pushed his shoulder, making him move from me.
“Of course, I will protect her, you imbecile,” I laughed.
“I am not about to wound her; I am going to give her everything she could ever want or desire. She will choose me in the end.” I opened my car door and sat inside.
“Rot in the dungeons,” Shad said as I closed the door and rolled down the window.
“Already been there—and done that, brother. Have fun bleeding,” I said as I slammed on the gas and fled Emma’s house and my soulless brother.