Chapter Three
E merie took her first bite of the crisp, fluffy Belgian waffles with warm peach syrup at The Foxhole’s annual New Year’s Day brunch. She murmured with pleasure, then nibbled on a strip of delicious, perfectly crisp bacon. The combination was so good, Em was pretty sure she was humming.
“I’m glad that you’re feeling much better today.” Kassie grinned, then shoveled a forkful of pancakes drenched in homemade blueberry syrup into her mouth.
“Me, too.” Em smiled broadly before slicing into her fried egg.
Last night had been devastating. And though today had started out rough, she’d gone to bed in the wee hours of the morning with clarity and an actionable plan. Her chest felt lighter, and she was clearer about her goals for her personal life than she’d ever been.
“I was worried about you at the bonfire last night,” Kass admitted, a pained frown on her beautiful face. “So was Nick.”
Em’s shoulders stiffened at the mention of her best friend’s name. She dropped her fork onto her plate with a loud clang that drew the attention of nearby diners.
She cleared her throat, picked up her fork, and resumed eating. “I appreciate your concern. But I’m fine now.”
“Fine enough to talk about what happened last night?” Kassie stabbed a sausage link.
Emerie sighed quietly. She looked forward to sharing her exciting new life plan with her friend. But first, she needed to level with Kassie about what had prompted it.
“Last night, I told Nick I like him as more than a friend.” Em shoveled more waffles into her mouth.
“You’ve always insisted that you and Nick were just friends. When did that change?”
“You mean when did I actually fall for my best friend, or when did I stop lying to myself about it?” Em asked.
“Both.” Kassie’s kind smile eased the tension that knotted Emerie’s shoulders.
“You’ve been spending too much time around me. You’re a lot more direct now.”
“Thank you.” Kassie batted her eyelashes and grinned. She pointed at Em with her fork. “Now stop stalling. When did you first realize that you’d fallen for Nick?”
“When we vacationed together in Tulum a few years before he returned to town.” Em shoved food around her plate with her fork.
“That was when he’d broken up with his girlfriend or something and had already paid for the trip, right?”
Em nodded. “It was an incredible trip. We explored the Mayan ruins, then laid out on the sand at Playa Ruinas, this beautiful beach at the foot of the cliff where El Castillo—the largest of the ruins—is perched. We swam in the crystal-clear, aquamarine waters of the Caribbean Sea. Nick taught me the basics of surfing. We explored the town and had some amazing meals at the best little hole-in-the-wall restaurants recommended by locals.”
“Sounds enchanting and very romantic,” Kassie said.
“It was.” A smile spread across Em’s face as she recalled their time in Mexico. It had been her first and only trip out of the country.
“At night, we’d share this king-size bed in the room he’d booked. We’d lie awake all night talking and laughing. I looked over at him at like two in the morning the last night we were there and… I just knew things had changed for me. That I didn’t just see Nick as a friend.”
Em squeezed her eyes shut briefly, and it felt like she was back in Tulum on that humid night, the windows open and the wind rustling the curtains.
“There was a moment when I thought Nick was going to kiss me… but then he didn’t.” Em shrugged.
“Why didn’t you kiss him?” Kassie asked.
It was a question she’d asked herself many times.
How different might their lives have been if she’d found the courage to kiss Nick that night in Tulum?
“He’d just broken up with his girlfriend. We were literally on the vacation he’d planned to surprise her with.” Em nibbled on a piece of bacon. “The timing was terrible. Besides, Nick was living out west then, and I was here on the island. Neither of us is the long-distance type.”
“But Nick’s been back for a while now. Why haven’t you said anything since his return?”
“Nick hasn’t been in many serious relationships. But I’m pretty sure he was in love with Aliza. When she suddenly ended things, he was heartbroken. Since then, he seems determined not to let anyone in. I’ve been hurt before, too. So I figured that Nick needed to process things in his own way before he’d be ready to get serious with anyone again.”
“Is that the only thing that kept you from speaking up?” Kassie asked the question as if she already knew the answer.
Em frowned. She both loved and hated that her friends knew her so well.
“I’m the polar opposite of the glamorous, runway-worthy women Nick dates.” Em sipped her mimosa.
“You’re a toned, athletic, sporty girl. But you are not the opposite of glamorous.” Kassie jabbed her fork in Em’s direction, indignant on her behalf. “Why are you comparing yourself to those women anyway? Nick clearly adores you.”
“I know he does.” Em’s chest ached all over again. “But he’s never looked at me the way he looks at them.” She sniffled, determined not to shed another tear over Nick Washington. “I buried my feelings because I didn’t want to risk what happened last night.”
“What did happen last night?” Kassie’s voice was soft.
Em’s stomach knotted as she recounted the details of her failed confession. When she was done, she ordered another round of mimosas.
“I’m sorry, Em.” Kassie squeezed her wrist. “But I’m also really proud of you. It was brave of you to confess your feelings to Nick.”
“Thanks.” Em dabbed the corners of her eyes with a napkin. “But I wish I hadn’t. Then things wouldn’t be weird between us now.”
“Is that why you’ve been ignoring his calls?” Kassie nodded to Em’s phone, which was buzzing with another call from Nick.
He’d called once last night and twice that morning. She wasn’t ignoring his calls because she was angry at him. Last night had been humiliating. She wasn’t ready to face her friend yet. Not even via a phone call.
“Nick was really worried about you,” Kassie said. “I know you wish things had turned out differently. But last night was tough for him, too.”
Em glanced up from her mimosa and frowned. She’d been so consumed with her own disappointment and misery, she hadn’t considered how the conversation might’ve impacted Nick.
“I hadn’t thought about that.” She set her glass down and folded her arms on the table. “But he seemed to recover quickly enough with Miss Ohio.”
“As I recall, she kissed him,” Kassie noted. “But that didn’t stop him from stealing glances at you the rest of the evening or texting me to ask that I make sure you got home okay.”
“That isn’t helping me not be in love with Nick.”
Nick’s protective nature was one of the many things she adored about him.
“Right. Sorry.” Kassie sipped her mimosa. “So what happens now? I realize that things are awkward right now, but you can’t ignore Nick forever.”
“I know.” Em stared at the phone she’d ignored moments earlier. “We’ll work through it. We always do.” She tried to sound more confident than she felt. “But instead of pining over Nick, I’m making a concerted effort to get over him.”
“I applaud your determination to move on rather than dwelling on it.” Kassie set down her glass and folded her arms on the table, too. “But it’s okay to give yourself the time and space to feel however you feel. And to mourn the loss of the dream you’ve been holding on to.”
“Being with Nick was the who of my dream,” Em said. “But the what … being in a loving, committed relationship with someone who adores me as much as I do them and eventually starting a family together… I can still have that.”
“Of course you can.” Kassie squeezed her wrist again. “One day, the perfect guy will come along.”
“Or… instead of waiting for him to find me, what if I make the effort to find him?”
“You’re going to search for this perfect guy?” Kassie’s eyes widened. “How? Please tell me you’re not planning to put up a billboard ad.”
“Maybe that’ll be step eight… if it comes to that.” Em burst into laughter when her friend’s jaw dropped. “I’m joking, Kass. Relax. I won’t do anything outrageous. But I’ve wasted so much time hoping and waiting for someone else to take action. It’s the exact opposite of how I’d behave on the tennis court or in my business. I need to be as proactive about my love life as I am in all other aspects of my life.”
“I understand wanting to feel more empowered.” Kassie frowned, likely lamenting her own love life, which she referred to as nonexistent. “But if you’re not really over Nick—”
“What choice do I have?” Em shrugged. “It’s like that movie He’s Just Not That Into You . Sometimes, you just need to cut your losses and move on.”
Em didn’t miss the irony of referencing a movie she and Nick had watched together many times to explain why she needed to move on from her feelings for him.
At this point, her life felt more and more like a cosmic joke.
“Agreed, and I fully support this plan. But there’s no need to rush it.”
“Actually, there is.” Em smiled, and her brunch companion regarded her warily. “Because by the time New Year’s Eve rolls around again, I plan to be at that bonfire with the man of my dreams.”
“You’re putting a timetable on this?” Kassie looked increasingly worried about her friend’s state of mind. “And you don’t think this is a rash response to Nick’s rejection?”
Em couldn’t blame Kassie for her reaction. If it was the other way around, she would be worried, too. But this wasn’t an impulsive decision. It was a logical, well-thought-out plan that Em had stayed up most of the night carefully designing.
She’d spent three hours online reading articles written by romance gurus and listening to their YouTube chats. She’d taken notes from what she’d considered to be the most feasible advice. Then she’d spent another hour devising the perfect seven-step plan.
“Last night was… devastating,” Em admitted. “But it was also enlightening and freeing.”
This seemed to pique Kassie’s interest. “Freeing? How?”
“Now I can let go of my misplaced fantasies about a future with Nick. Instead, I’ll take action based on my reality,” Emerie said. “I spent my twenties believing the right guy would eventually come along. Then I spent the past few years believing Nick was that guy. But I was wrong. I’m thirty-one. So if I want to have children before I’m forty, I can’t passively meander through my life anymore. We’re on this earth for a finite amount of time,” Emerie noted. “I can’t afford to waste any more of it. It’s time I take control of my life.” Em’s shoulders sank a little in response to the quizzical expression on her friend’s face. “You think I’m losing it.”
“Not at all.” Kassie smiled encouragingly. “I admire you for going after what you want. And I’d like to help.”
“Good. Because I could use the support.” Em was grateful for Kassie’s reassurance. All night, she’d been vacillating between whether her mission to find Mr. Right was epically brave or pathetically sad.
“So let’s hear about this…”
“Seven-step plan.” Emerie pulled a notebook from her designer backpack. The bag had been a concession to her mother. An upgrade from the sling backpack she used to tote her things around in, if she bothered with a bag at all.
“All right. Let’s hear about this Soulmate Project of yours.” Kassie dug into the glazed fruit tart that looked so perfect Em had almost questioned if it was real.
“The Soulmate Project! I love that.” Em pulled out a pen and scribbled the name across the top of her notes. “We’re definitely using that. See, you’re being helpful already.”
Em slid her apple coffee cake in front of her and dug in.
Her phone rang again. Nick’s handsome face filled the screen. She’d taken that photo when they’d celebrated Nick’s thirty-third birthday at his friend’s place in the Hamptons.
She held back a whimper.
Why couldn’t Nick be “the one”?
Kassie nibbled on a bite of her fruit tart. Her eyes silently pleaded with Emerie to take Nick’s call.
“Fine.” Em huffed, answering the phone. “Hey, Nick. Sorry I didn’t answer your call earlier. Kassie and I are at brunch at The Foxhole.”
Kassie scrunched her eyebrows in response to her half-true excuse for dodging Nick’s calls. Em chose to ignore her friend’s judgy glare.
“Well, we both know how much you enjoy a good brunch,” Nick teased, his chuckle uneasy. “I was just calling because we haven’t spoken since last night. I wanted to make sure that we’re good. I’m sorry if I upset you.”
“You were honest with me, and I appreciate that, as always.” As devastating as Nick’s rejection had been, at least she knew where things stood with them now. “I like knowing I can always count on you to tell me the truth. Even when it’s not what I want to hear.”
There was a long pause on Nick’s end of the line. Had she dropped his call?
“I’m glad you feel that way, Em,” Nick said finally. “Our friendship means everything to me. I don’t want this to make things awkward between us. Because as far as I’m concerned, nothing has changed.”
Emerie grimaced.
Nick’s words—intended to comfort her—had the opposite effect. They slammed the lid on any lingering hope she had that he might rethink his decision.
Em forced a smile and infused her voice with all the cheerfulness she could conjure up. “Great. See you at Rett and Sin’s place for dinner?”
“Right. I forgot. See you there.”
Em ended the call, a smile plastered on her face for Kassie’s sake. Yet, her heart ached, and her stomach twisted in knots, knowing the person she would eventually build a life with wouldn’t be Nicholas Washington.
But Kassie wouldn’t allow her to descend into a pity party. “So when does Project Soulmate go into effect?”
“No time like the present.” Em tipped her chin.
“Perfect. As your partner in crime, you should read me in on all the details. But first…” Kassie lifted her glass. “To the Soulmate Project. May you find all the happiness you deserve and more.”
Em smiled, grateful for her friend’s unwavering support. She blinked back tears and clinked her glass to Kassie’s. “To the Soulmate Project.”