Chapter 36 - The Face in My Dream #2
Galen’s hand reaches over my back, closing over my shoulder as if something terrible is about to happen, and he’s preparing to stop me if I decide to run away.
Tabitha slowly peels herself off the bench as if in the presence of a wild, scared animal ready to attack her.
“Where do you think you’re going?” Galen asks without moving an inch away from me.
She smiles, pinning her silver mass of braids on top of her head and fanning the back of her neck. “It’s getting too hot for me out here.” She addresses Galen, and they exchange some silent understanding for a moment.
Galen drops his hand from my shoulder, conceding to whatever unspoken request he read on Tabitha’s face. “I guess you’re right. It is better if this comes from me.” There is gravity in his voice.
“I’ll leave you two alone.” She hesitates a moment. I can feel her eyes on me.
I lift my head, shading my eyes from the sun rising behind her. She looks like a marble statue, solemn and imposing.
“Relax, I won’t punch him,” I shrug. “He still has a lot to answer for. But I need you to promise me something…”
Curiosity and the hint of a smile bloom on Tabitha’s face. “We can negotiate.”
“I am free to leave this place. Whatever the truth about me, whatever the consequences if I don’t follow Roden’s order. I want to pick my next path. Even if it turns out to be short—and my very last one.”
I’m not even sure what I’m referring to, but Tabitha seems to understand.
“Very well.” She stretches her hand out.
I lean forward and take it. “Forgive me if I don’t call it a deal. That word leaves a bitter taste in my mouth every time I say it.”
“Then, it’s a promise.” She winks and, having let go of my hand, spins on her heel, slides her pale blue shawl off her shoulders and heads towards the building.
The grass doesn’t make a sound when she walks away, swinging her strong arms as if she’s marching towards a battlefield.
Having met her and her people at night, covered up head to toe in fighting gear, I’d not had the chance to take in the human faces hidden under the black helmets and tons of firearms. But all I see now is a middle-aged woman, barefoot, in bright yellow trousers and a white top.
And deep inside my heart, I’m jealous of how carefree she looks.
I wait for Tabitha to disappear inside the kitchen, then stand, crossing my arms over my chest and distractedly brushing my shoulders.
“Would you like to go somewhere else? Somewhere more…private?” Galen asks.
I ignore his question. Let’s start by cementing the foundations. “Kris is the soul that Roden - so desperately - desires to control.”
The tentative smile on his face drops. “I thought you wanted to start from your truth.”
I impatiently tap my foot on the grass. “Given what I’ve been through lately - been lied to, drugged, shocked by an invisible barrier, deprived of my memories multiple times - I’m entitled to decide where to start, what to ask and when you fucking speak.
” My voice rises with every word now that Tabitha’s stabilising presence is no longer with us.
As if we never left Libera, I feel free to argue with Galen again, like in the old times.
“How old are you? What are you? Wait, are we vampires?” I blurt out, sticking one arm under direct sunlight, but drop it when my skin doesn’t start to blister and burn.
Galen tilts his head to the side. “One question at a time, perhaps?”
I nod. “Fine.”
“No, we are not creatures of the night, despite your hate for garlic,” he rubs his hands on his thighs, “And, yes…Kris is definitely your soul.”
“How many times has he been a ‘Kris’?” I urge, drumming my fingers on my arm.
“Every time. He’s never wanted to change his name. He thinks it will help you remember.”
I flinch but continue, “And…he knows I’m here. The person he should be avoiding at all costs. And, still, he wants me to remember all the times I failed to harvest his soul? That’s stupid and sadistic and…”
Something on Galen’s face, a sudden melancholic smile, silences me.
“All the times you willingly failed to harvest his soul entirely and to deliver it to Roden.”
I let his words sink in. Every single one. Counting them. One by one, they push down my need to run and make a memory of all this. One Roden cannot take from me.
Galen tortures his bottom lip as if fighting to hold something back, while studying me, trying to read the next question in my eyes.
I stretch my hands towards him. A peace offering. But he shifts back on the bench.
I drop them back by my side, lowering my voice. “I heard you two speaking in your room. Why did you ask him to stay away from me if you know I’ve never hurt him before?”
When he doesn’t answer and keeps chewing at his lips, I rush to him, kneeling before him and searching for his hands. “Please stop doing that. Just answer me. What made you think I’ll act differently this time?”
But I’m left with nothing but my doubts when Galen stands up and puts some distance between us.
He runs both hands through his hair, letting his fingers rest in his curls, his eyes wide as he stares at me in disbelief.
“I could explain that to you a hundred times in every language we know. That Roden tricked you, forced your hand over and over. And nothing will change. It has never changed,” - he throws his hands in the air - “For fuck’s sake, Sof, you’ve just discovered that he stole your memories, throwing you into this spiral of chasing and failing, and all you can think of is Kris and his life? ”
“I…I..”
Galen’s hands lower into fists at his side as his face slowly softens with sadness.
“Exactly that. That’s what you should focus on—you.
And yet, all I hear is his name. I’ve been hearing you saying it for ages in your sleep.
Dreaming about the many times you let him go and cried in pain while Roden was sending your mind back to oblivion. ”
Galen moves so quickly that I don’t have time to back away. He grabs my shoulders and lowers his eyes onto mine.
“Please tell me who I am,” I whisper.
His double-coloured eyes soften, and he pulls me into his arms, holding me so tight that I don’t think he will ever let me go again.
Every second I spend in his arms strips away heavy layers of lies, doubts, and pain. I press my face against his chest, inhaling the fresh scent of his clean cotton shirt.
His chest rises once before his hold on me loosens a bit, allowing me to lift my chin and look up.
“You’re Roden’s daughter. The only one sharing his blood and part of his soul.”
Something cracks inside me, but before every single sharp piece drops and makes me lash out, Galen cups my cheeks and forces time to stand still by bringing our faces close together.
I can almost feel the softness of his lips over mine, lips that I only remember kissing me with fierce and desperate need. Lips I sought to wash away the bitter taste of days spent harvesting souls whose only fault had been seeking Roden’s help in their most desperate times.
I’m unsure how long my heart has been hammering, and I cannot say if it was because of sudden exhilaration or fear.
My eyes dart from Galen’s face to his mouth and back. I’m lost in such a daze that I can’t even find the words to reject his unexpected revelation.
“So, I’m just another one of his secrets. One, he decided to use against an innocent soul. And he made me suffer over and over, despite my failures, only to wipe my mind clean and start again….Why?” I throw my hands out.
Galen’s fingers on my cheek twitch, his eyes narrow for a second before softening with a smile.
“Because you are the only Harvester who can hold and destroy souls with your hands. Completely. Any soul. Rogues, Nistarei. Harvesters…” A pause that feels like aeons before he adds, “Without anyone’s aid.
Just your simple, raw power. Roden trained you to do it, but never to your full potential. He never taught you control…”
Galen’s mouth purses with a note of disgust. I’d probably feel the same had I been so close to someone capable of such utter destruction.
He lowers his hands onto my neck, stroking his thumbs against my exposed collarbones and the chain Popplewish gave me. Someone must have found it on me after I got knocked out by Mack’s genius and put it around my neck while I was unconscious.
My heart tries to escape from my rib cage. The way Galen is touching me—his hands in the perfect position to snap my neck. Me… Not his friend, but someone with the power to claim his life forever.
“And you stayed at my side all these years knowing this….” My throat bobs with my next thought. Something far flashes behind his eyes, then quickly disappears.
I wriggle, trying to get away from his unsettling touch. “Roden made you his eyes and ears, didn’t he? He wanted to be sure I wasn’t going around annihilating random Harvesters. Why would I even do that? How?”
He smirks. Galen looks me straight in the eyes, registers the confusion, doubt, and fear slowly devouring me, and grins.
Then he sighs and, for a split second, I swear he focuses on the brass key at my neck before his fingers and shoulders relax, and his wicked expression softens into a sweet smile.
“I hoped seeing me interacting with Tabs and the others would convince you I’m not on Roden’s side. Tabitha wouldn’t even let me set eyes on HQ if I were a threat.” He drops his hand, and my heart returns to its normal rhythm.
I unintentionally touch my fingers to my warm - I’m pretty sure - blushing cheek. But blaming the heat doesn’t make me feel less awkward. Or guilty.
“As far as Roden knows, you’re still his big secret. The Chapter’s members are aware that your gift is a bit different from the other Harvesters. They know you can harvest Rogues. But a few found out about the extent of your abilities and who you are to Roden.”
“Like you—” I cut him off.
He tilts his head, shows me his hands and curls down a finger. “And Evelyn.” Another finger folds. “Tabitha, of course,” he crosses his arms over his chest, jerking his chin to the building behind me. “Everyone in there, really. Thanks to Mack. He…he studied your blood cells.”
“For the love of souls, please do not say another word, this is…” I shiver, sticking my tongue out, and brush my arms as if covered in spiders. “So, why am I still—”
“Alive?”
I arch an eyebrow, shifting my weight onto my left foot. “I meant—here.”
Galen’s gaze darkens quickly, and I can’t help noticing it before he turns to face the walls surrounding HQ, stretching for miles tall and thick.
“It is not your nature. Nobody, not even Roden, can manipulate your talent to make it lethal. But you did make a deal and promised to bring Kris back to him, despite knowing the truth about him—well, part of it. You’ve never done anything like that, so Tabitha decided to keep you closer. ”
My heart feels heavy, like his voice.
I should stop digging. The more I do, the more the image I have of myself rots into something disgusting and cruel. “But I wouldn’t even know where to begin. Even if I harvest his soul entirely, I wouldn’t know how not to turn him into dust. I’m useless anyway…” my voice breaks.
In the bright morning light, the locks of hair dancing on Galen’s forehead catch the sunshine, turning copper and golden brown.
When he finally looks at me, the sadness in his eyes makes me want to disappear.
“You’ve never known how because I always asked you to stop before you could find the way.”
I gasp. For all the times I accepted this mission, Galen risked his life to sabotage Roden’s will.
I run a hand over his arm, inviting him to face me - the real me, not the Harvester who could harm him - the one he knows best. “Was it because you knew I might regret it?”
A nod. “Yes, that and,” - he scratches his neck - “Kris is the living proof that the idea of Rogues that Roden has been feeding us for years is not completely true. And the Herionos…”
“Herionos? What do the Herionos have to do with Kris? And you. And the people in there?” I point at the building behind me, my hand shaking.
Galen’s silent response, the spark in his eyes. Everything about him screams something I’m not ready to hear—not after learning that I don’t simply belong to Roden—I’m his fucking child!
My legs start shaking, and I slam my hand on a tree to hold myself upright.
Galen rushes to my aid, but I shake my head.
“Remember the man who attacked you on the roof?”
“How could I not? You told me he was one of the bad people.”
“And I also said it wasn’t as easy as it seemed.” His lips quirk with a bashful smile.
The fresh scent of the leaves wafts over me when a gentle wind plays with the tree I’m leaning against. My head starts clearing. I raise an eyebrow, “Bad-Herionos?”
The sound of Galen’s laugh, something I forgot I used to love so much, fills the air. “Sort of.”
“And is what Mack called New Hera…good-Herionos?” I hate that my vocabulary seems to have shrunk to that of a three-year-old child.
He approaches me, leaning against the same tree and giving me an amused side-eye. “Just the type who’s trying to make things better for everyone—Harvesters and not.”
I lay my back against the trunk, my head resting against the young, smooth bark. I turn my head to the side, studying Galen’s serene and relaxed face as if a boulder has been lifted off his chest.
“Tabitha and the twins?”
Galen pushes away from the tree, stepping in front of me. “We all share the same ideal. Our mutual cause put us on each other’s path.”
“And Kris is with the good-Herionos as well.” Not a question, as otherwise he wouldn’t be allowed on HQ’s ground.
A carousel of feelings spins across Galen’s face—but guilt is not one of them when he grabs my shoulders and says, “Correct—and he’s the only family I have left.”