Ainsley #2
“It’s not fake to me anymore,” I admit. He smiles gently, like he already knew that and was just waiting for me to catch up.
“But there’s something you should know about me before you commit to this.
” I swallow a lump in my throat that feels like it’s stuck on the belt that’s still wrapped around my neck.
“You’re not going to scare me away, Princess, no matter what you say,” he assures me, tugging gently on the end of the belt. “You can tell me anything you want or need. I’ll be able to handle it.”
I close my eyes tightly and find the courage to lay myself bare to him. He’s already seen so much. If this is the thing that breaks us and sends him running, I need to know.
“I struggle with attachment issues. I’m the worst sort of clingy and obsessive and catch feelings when I shouldn’t, to an unhealthy degree.
Everything’s a million times worse once sex is introduced to the equation.
I need you to know now because that’s already happening and I’m sorry if that’s not what you’re looking for, despite what you’re saying.
I can’t help it, and I know it’s a lot, especially so soon, to know that the person you’ve been fake dating is falling in love with you like a psycho,” I ramble, my hands gripping the edge of the dresser and my eyes dropping to where his fingers are splayed across my stomach.
“Eyes on me, Princess,” he says, yanking on the belt sharply, halting my tumble of words and self-loathing over my issues.
“You better fucking be falling in love with me because I need you on the same page. I can’t be the only one stupidly in love here.
When I fuck you like a dirty whore, I want to be able to tell you I love you and know you love me back.
When I collar you, I want you to know it’s out of love and respect and my own submission to you that I do it.
When I smile and annoy the shit out of you, I want you wildly in love with me even when you say you hate it. ”
“I love all of that,” I admit quietly, my eyes finally leaving his in the mirror as I turn in his arms. “And I love you. I’ll let you do all that and even take care of me.
You’ve loved me consistently, despite everything I did to make you hate me.
You’ve shown me you’re unfailing and true to your word when others were all talk. I trust you.”
He scoops me up and plants me on the dresser, his mouth landing on mine in a bruising kiss that’s filled with longing and passion.
He kisses me savagely, imprinting his taste on my mouth, stealing my breath, and making me wild for him.
I wrap my legs around his waist and pull him close, hating that he’s still clothed while I’ve been naked and vulnerable this whole exchange.
When he finally pulls his mouth from mine, his pupils are blown wide, turning his blue eyes nearly black, wearing a feral expression I know will only lead to very good things for me.
“I love you, Ainsley Montgomery, but right now you’re my perfect little cumslut that needs to be treated like my fucktoy. Turn around, bend over, and let me spank that insane ass before I fuck it.”
I hop down from the dresser and turn, bending over again as commanded.
I’m already vibrating in anticipation and need, dripping wet, the slickness coating my thighs.
I look over when he opens a drawer and pulls out a black leather paddle from a collection of toys.
Another toy with soft leather strips hanging off a handle catches my eye.
I point at it before he closes the drawer.
“What’s that one?”
Payton pulls the toy out by the handle and shows me the long leather pieces hanging off of it.
“This is a flogger. It’s best used on backs, or at least it’s better on your ass when you’re lying down instead of standing because the falls”—he drags the leather pieces along my skin before he continues—“can wrap around your thighs or hips and hurt too much rather than feel good. Paddles and crops are better for this position.” He tosses the flogger back in the drawer and closes it.
Satisfied with his explanation, I resume my position and wait for whatever comes next. “Is this going to hurt?” I ask hesitantly because I don’t want him to stop if he thinks I’m not down for this. I just want to know what to expect.
“There’ll be some pain. If it’s too much, you know what to say to make it stop.
Use your words like a good girl and you’ll be fine,” he tells me, his voice low and sexy as he drags the paddle up the backs of my bare legs.
“But remember, Princess. You’re getting your ass marked because you wanted to sleep in a bed that wasn’t mine.
This is a punishment. I’m reminding you that you’re mine and I won’t have you spending another night without me. ”
He pulls the paddle off my legs and I feel the swish of air before it connects with my ass, making me jump and hiss out a pained breath.
“That fucking stings!”
“Tell me whose bed you’re sleeping in from now on.”
I’m mad as hell, my ass cheeks still burning, and my nerve endings are on fire.
He’s not in control of what I do. “I’ll sleep wherever the hell I want,” I sass.
“You have other—” Before I can finish the sentence, the paddle connects with my ass again and I jump, letting out a breath so I don’t cry out.
Fuck, that’s way worse than his hand. I rise up on my toes and shake, fighting the lingering pain.
“I want you to tell me where you’re sleeping,” he repeats, and without waiting for my answer, he paddles me again. I let out a pained cry and wiggle, trying to get away from the hold he has on the belt that keeps me in place.
“Your bed,” I breathe, voice thick with tears I’m desperately trying to hold back.
“And why are you sleeping in my bed?” he asks patiently like he’s not holding a leather paddle ready to swing against my burning ass.
“Because you’re a possessive asshole who wants me there,” I spit out, already knowing I’m going to regret it.
The swish of the paddle swinging through the air and the smack of it connecting with my skin are familiar enough that I tense and muffle the initial yelp and moan I make when the sting sets in.
Tears track down my face and drop onto my arms. I can’t look at myself in the mirror.
I can’t look at him. I regret my sass and know I’m bringing this on myself. I can’t help it.
“Use your words, Princess,” he says quietly, smoothing his palm over my ass. “You know what to say that’ll make this stop.”
“Yellow,” I say quietly, dropping my face onto my arms and feeling my shoulders shake with sobs that have nothing to do with the sting of the paddle that has already faded. “Red,” I cry out, ready for this all to stop, overwhelmed by so many feelings and emotions I’m instantly overstimulated.
Payton drops the paddle at our feet and removes the belt from my neck before he picks me up and carries me to the bed.
He gently lays me down on my stomach and opens a drawer on the nightstand.
I continue to sob as he smooths a salve on my raw ass.
He removes his shirt and pants, crawls onto the bed, and pulls me on top of him in only his boxer briefs.
He runs his hands up and down my back soothingly, kissing my hair and murmuring for me to let it out.
“I’m proud of you for using your safe words, Princess. I know it’s hard to ask for help or end a scene because of something hard. You’re brave and strong, and I’m so fucking impressed with you. You’re such a good girl.”
I bury my face in his neck and my sobs start to abate. I love hearing his praise, especially when he calls me a good girl. But his words are tinged with double meaning. He’s not just talking about this scene like my tears aren’t just about the pain from the paddling.
“I’m sorry I’m a mess,” I say, wiping at my face. I’ve gotten snot and tears all over his neck and chest. I’m so pathetic.
“No apologizing for a natural reaction. You experienced a traumatic event today. Instead of stuffing it down and repressing everything, you need to process your emotions and grieve what you’ve lost. Feeling physical pain can ground your emotions in reality and help you deal with what you may not fully understand yet.
Let the tears out and know that using your safe words stopped the imminent pain and allowed you to have control of the scene when you didn’t have control of the situation you experienced earlier.
Processing what happened to you today through a scene is healthy. ”
“I didn’t realize it would come out like that. I was looking forward to a spanking, thinking it would be like last time and I’d get off on your lap. I just wanted to have an orgasm and turn off my brain,” I admit, a bit of a whine to my tone.
Payton’s chest rumbles under my ear as he chuckles. “Don't worry, Princess. You’re going to come plenty of times once we make sure you get what you need right now."