Chapter 28
It was 5:00 AM when Orm slowly opened her eyes.
For a few seconds, she didn't move.
Didn't think.
Didn't breathe.
She simply lay there.
Listening.
Feeling.
Remembering.
Lingling's strong arms were wrapped securely around her waist, holding her even in sleep.
Protectively.
Possessively.
As if some part of her subconscious was terrified Orm would disappear again if she loosened her grip.
A soft snore escaped Lingling's lips.
The sound was small.
Almost ridiculous.
Yet it made Orm's chest ache.
Because for the first time in four years, she was waking up beside her.
Not alone.
Not reaching for a phone that would never ring.
Not staring at a ceiling while wondering where Lingling was and whether she still thought about her.
She was here.
Right here.
Breathing beside her.
Holding her.
Loving her.
At least...
Orm hoped she still did.
The thought immediately made her stomach tighten.
The warmth surrounding her suddenly felt fragile.
Temporary.
Like a beautiful dream that could disappear the moment morning fully arrived.
Her eyes drifted upward toward the ceiling.
And the questions began.
One after another.
Relentless.
Would Lingling be happy when she woke up?
Would she smile and pull Orm closer?
Would she listen?
Would she finally let Orm explain everything?
Or would the sunlight bring reality back with it?
Would Lingling remember every painful thing that happened between them?
Every misunderstanding.
Every betrayal she believed Orm committed.
Every year they spent apart.
Would she regret last night?
Would she look at Orm and realize she had made a mistake?
Would she think they had crossed a line they shouldn't have crossed again?
Would she decide that love wasn't enough to repair what time had broken?
Orm swallowed hard.
Her throat suddenly felt tight.
Last night they promised to talk.
To finally tell the truth.
To finally stop running.
But promises made in the dark often became harder in daylight.
And that terrified her.
Because Orm wasn't asking for forever.
Not yet.
She wasn't asking Lingling to forgive everything immediately.
She wasn't asking her to forget four years of pain.
She only wanted one thing.
A chance.
Just one chance to tell her side.
To explain.
To make Lingling understand.
And maybe...
Just maybe...
To find their way back to each other.
A sharp ache settled inside her chest.
The kind that never really disappeared.
The kind that had lived there for four years.
Quietly.
Patiently.
Waiting.
She turned her head.
Lingling was still asleep.
The early morning light filtered through the curtains, illuminating her face.
And God.
Even after all these years.
Orm still thought she was beautifully handsome.
Her dark lashes rested against her cheeks.
Her hair was messy from sleep.
There was a tiny crease between her brows, as if even in dreams she couldn't fully relax.
As if life had taught her to carry pain everywhere she went.
Orm's eyes immediately burned.
Because she knew.
She knew she had contributed to that pain.
And that realization never got easier.
Not after four years.
Not after countless nights spent crying herself to sleep.
Not after replaying every mistake she had ever made.
She carefully lifted a trembling hand.
Brushed a strand of hair away from Lingling's forehead.
So gently.
As though touching something precious.
Something breakable.
Something she didn't deserve to hold.
"I miss you so much," Orm whispered.
The words came out broken.
Because missing someone while they're gone is one thing.
But missing someone while they're still alive...
While they're only a few miles away...
While they're walking under the same sky...
That kind of missing was far crueler.
For four years, Lingling had existed everywhere.
In interviews.
In articles.
In memories.
Everywhere except beside her.
And somehow that hurt even more.
Orm closed her eyes.
Trying to stop the tears.
Trying to stop herself from falling apart before the day had even begun.
But one escaped anyway.
Rolling silently down her cheek.
Because she had spent four years imagining this morning.
Four years wondering what she would say if she ever woke up beside Lingling again.
And now that it had happened...
She was terrified.
Terrified she would lose her all over again.
Carefully, she slipped out of Lingling's embrace.
The loss of warmth was immediate.
Painful.
Almost enough to make her climb right back in.
But she knew Lingling would wake up with a terrible headache.
She had drunk far too much the night before.
So Orm forced herself to move.
One step.
Then another.
Her movements slow, every step reminding her of the passion they had shared.
Her breast and her core are both aching but she never regret it.
She grabbed her robe off the floor, wincing at the dull ache in her center once again.
Lingling had always known how to make her body sing. A hollow laugh escaped her lips. She always left her sore and fulfilled, in more ways than one.
After showering, she slipped into a simple sundress.
The familiar scent of Lingling still lingered on her skin.
It made her heart ache.
Before leaving the room, she found herself standing beside the bed again.
Unable to resist.
Unable to leave.
Lingling was still sleeping peacefully.
For once.
Not haunted.
Not crying.
Not angry.
Just resting.
Orm stared at her for several seconds.
Memorizing her.
As if preparing herself for the possibility that this might be the last peaceful moment they shared.
The thought nearly shattered her.
Slowly, she leaned down.
Pressing a gentle kiss against Lingling's forehead.
Then another against her temple.
And finally, one against her lips.
Soft.
Brief.
Trembling.
A goodbye disguised as a good morning.
Just in case.
Just in case everything went wrong after they talked.
Just in case this happiness didn't survive the daylight.
Just in case she lost her again.
"I love you," Orm whispered.
The words were barely audible.
But they carried four years of heartbreak.
Four years of regret.
Four years of waiting.
Then she turned away before she could cry.
And quietly walked toward the kitchen.
-
An hour later, Lingling finally stirred awake.
A sharp ache immediately exploded behind her eyes.
She groaned softly.
The sunlight filtering through the curtains felt far too bright.
Far too cruel.
Slowly, she opened her eyes.
For several seconds, she simply stared at the unfamiliar ceiling above her.
Confused.
Disoriented.
Her mind struggling to catch up.
This wasn't her hotel room.
Her heartbeat immediately quickened.
Lingling pushed herself upright.
The movement sent another wave of pain crashing through her skull.
She winced and pressed a hand against her forehead.
The digital clock on the nightstand blinked quietly.
6:03 AM.
The room was silent.
Too silent.
She looked around.
No suitcase.
No familiar furniture.
No hotel staff moving outside.
Nothing.
Then her gaze lowered.
And she froze.
The thick duvet was wrapped around her body.
Nothing else.
Her stomach dropped.
For a moment, she couldn't breathe.
Couldn't think.
Couldn't move.
A horrible realization slowly crept into her chest.
No.
No.
No.
Lingling squeezed her eyes shut.
As if doing so could somehow undo reality.
As if darkness could erase whatever happened.
But it didn't.
Because the memories were already coming.
Slowly.
Mercilessly.
One after another.
Fragments.
Pieces.
Broken images.
The restaurant.
Jingjing smiling.
The food they shared.
The drive.
The bar.
The VIP room.
Glasses.
Music.
Laughter.
Alcohol.
Too much alcohol.
Women approaching them.
Trying to flirt.
Trying to dance.
Lingling remembered ignoring every single one of them.
Because there had only ever been one woman she wanted.
Only one.
Always one.
Her chest tightened.
More memories came.
The couch.
Orm sitting beside her.
Orm wiping her face with a damp towel.
Orm looking at her.
The tears.
God.
The tears.
The things they said.
The things they finally admitted.
The pain.
The years.
Then the bedroom.
And everything after.
Lingling's entire body went cold.
The memories weren't complete.
But they were enough.
Enough to understand what happened.
Enough to understand what they had done.
Enough to understand how badly she had messed up.
Did she regretted it?
No. Definitely not, especially not with Orm.
What bothers her is the complication it carries. The tangled situation where they in.
A strangled sound escaped her throat.
Her hands immediately found her hair.
Pulling.
Gripping.
Punishing.
Because she couldn't stop the thoughts.
Couldn't stop the guilt.
Couldn't stop the self-hatred.
"What did I do...?"
The whisper sounded broken.
Pathetic.
She hated it.
She hated herself.
First she blamed the alcohol.
Then she blamed her weakness.
Then she blamed her heart.
Because after four years-
After all the pain.
After all the anger.
After all the promises she made to move on.
One look from Orm had been enough.
One touch.
One tear.
One night.
And she had completely fallen apart.
The worst part?
She knew why.
Because she never stopped loving her.
Not for a single day.
Not for a single hour.
Not even for a single minute.
The realization made fresh tears sting her eyes.
Lingling buried her face in her hands.
She felt sick.
Absolutely sick.
Because in her mind, there was only one truth.
Orm was married.
Orm had a family.
Orm had a child.
A little boy who smiled exactly like her.
A little boy who had proudly shown Lingling his toy dinosaur.
A little boy who had called her Wingwing.
Liam.
The image shattered whatever remained of her composure.
Lingling's breathing became uneven.
"Oh God..."
Her voice cracked.
Liam.
Sean.
Their family.
Their life.
And where did that leave her?
Nowhere.
She didn't belong there.
She never had.
Yet somehow, last night happened.
And now she felt like the villain in someone else's story.
The woman who couldn't let go.
The woman who came back and ruined everything.
The woman who loved someone she shouldn't love.
A sob escaped her lips.
Because she knew exactly what the world would call her if they found out.
The word alone made her feel physically ill.
She buried her face in the pillow.
Trying to hide from her own thoughts.
Trying to hide from herself.
Trying to hide from the unbearable truth that no matter how much she hated herself...
No matter how guilty she felt...
No matter how wrong this was...
She still loved Orm.
And that was the worst part.
Because love was supposed to make people better.
Not destroy them.
Not leave them crying in an unfamiliar bedroom at six in the morning.
Not make them wish they could tear their own heart out just to make the pain stop.
Minutes passed.
Or maybe longer.
Lingling didn't know.
Eventually she forced herself to stand.
The room spun.
Her head pounded.
Her chest felt hollow.
She mechanically straightened the sheets.
Smoothed the blanket.
Fixed the pillows.
As if making the bed could somehow fix the disaster inside her.
It didn't.
Nothing did.
She walked toward the bathroom.
Locked the door behind her.
And turned on the shower.
Cold water poured over her skin.
Relentless.
Endless.
Yet somehow it wasn't enough.
Because no amount of water could wash away guilt.
No amount of water could erase memories.
No amount of water could stop her heart from loving the same woman it had loved for almost ten years.
Lingling leaned both hands against the wall.
Lowering her head.
The water mixed with the tears running down her face.
The strong, composed, successful Engineer Lingling Kwong looked broken.
Truly broken all over again.
Because she didn't know how to face Orm.
She didn't know what to say.
She didn't know what came next.
Most of all-
She didn't know how she was supposed to walk away from the woman she still loved with every shattered piece of her heart.
Outside the bathroom door, the faint aroma of soup drifted through the apartment.
Warm.
Comforting.
Familiar.
The scent of home.
The scent of Orm.
And somehow...
That hurt more than anything.
After wiping her face and body dry, Lingling changed into the clothes Orm had prepared for her.
A pair of fresh jagger pants.
A plain white shirt.
Simple.
Comfortable.
Domestic.
The realization alone made her chest ache.
Because it felt natural.
Far too natural.
As if she belonged here.
As if the last four years had never happened.
As if this was the life they were supposed to have.
Lingling squeezed her eyes shut.
No.
She couldn't think like that.
Not now.
Not when everything was already so complicated.
Not when her heart was already losing the battle.
After several deep breaths, she forced herself to leave the room.
The scent of soup immediately greeted her.
Warm.
Comforting.
Painfully familiar.
Her feet carried her toward the kitchen.
Then she saw Orm.
And everything inside her stopped.
Orm stood by the stove, stirring something carefully.
The morning sunlight spilled through the windows and wrapped around her like a halo. She's still looks breathtaking.
Her slender frame.
Her loose sundress.
Her hair tied carelessly behind her neck.
It was such an ordinary sight.
Yet Lingling felt her heart breaking.
Because for years she had imagined moments like this.
Coming home.
Finding Orm cooking.
Complaining about work.
Arguing over what movie to watch.
Growing old together.
Simple dreams.
Dreams she buried four years ago.
Dreams that refused to stay dead.
Then memories from last night flashed through her mind.
The tears.
The confessions.
The way Orm had looked at her while they're making love.
The way she had whispered her name over and over again.
Lingling immediately looked away.
Her cheeks burned.
And she hated herself for it.
Almost Thirty years old.
Successful.
Respected.
Yet one woman could still reduce her into a flustered teenager.
Pathetic.
Absolutely pathetic.
"Lingling."
Orm's voice pulled her back.
Soft.
Careful.
Almost nervous.
Lingling looked up.
Orm was holding a bowl.
Trying to smile.
Trying not to look terrified.
"You're awake."
A pause.
"Come here. Let's eat first so you can take medicine for your hangover."
The words sounded normal.
But neither of them felt normal.
Both were standing at the edge of a cliff.
One wrong word.
One wrong reaction.
One misunderstanding.
And everything would collapse.
Again.
Lingling slowly walked toward the dining table.
She lowered herself into a chair.
Orm placed the bowl in front of her.
Soup.
Just the way she liked it.
Lingling stared at it for a moment.
Because Orm still remembered.
After four years.
She still remembered.
That hurt.
God, it hurt.
Neither of them spoke as they ate.
The silence stretched endlessly.
Only the sound of utensils touching porcelain filled the room.
Both of them were afraid.
Terrified.
Because they both knew this conversation would either save them...
Or destroy whatever was left.
Finally, Orm set her spoon down.
The soft clink against the ceramic plate sounded deafening in the silence.
Her fingers trembled so badly she had to curl them into her lap.
For a moment, she simply stared at them.
And yet somehow...
couldn't find the courage to say the words she should have said four years ago.
Slowly, painfully, she lifted her gaze toward Lingling.
This was it.
No more running.
No more pretending.
No more lies disguised as sacrifices.
No more years wasted loving each other from opposite sides of the world.
"Lingling..."
But Lingling spoke first.
Because if she let Orm continue-
if she let her hear those words-
she knew she would break.
And she wasn't sure she would survive breaking again.
"How did I end up here, Orm?"
Her voice was quiet.
Too quiet.
The kind of quiet that came right before a storm destroyed everything.
"I remember being with Jingjing."
She swallowed hard.
Her throat felt raw.
"We were drinking in the VIP room at her bar."
Her eyes finally met Orm's.
Then she asked the question that had been haunting her since she woke up.
"Why did I wake up in your bed?"
The words settled heavily between them.
Neither woman moved.
Neither woman breathed.
Orm looked away first.
As if the answer physically hurt.
Then she looked back.
"Last night..."
Her voice shook immediately.
"I saw an Instagram story from one of my old acquaintances."
She paused.
"You were there."
Lingling frowned.
"And?"
"I came."
The confusion in Lingling's eyes deepened.
"Why?"
Such a simple question.
One word.
One syllable.
But buried beneath it were four years of heartbreak.
Four years of silence.
Four years of wondering.
Why?
Why did you leave me and marry Sean?
Why didn't you fight for us?
Why do you still look at me like that?
Why are we still here?
Why do I still love you?
Orm's eyes instantly filled with tears.
Because she knew the answer.
She had always known.
She had simply spent four years trying to bury it.
Trying to suffocate it.
Trying to wait with uncertainty.
But love didn't die just because you wanted it to.
Love didn't disappear because time passed.
Love didn't vanish because people expected it to.
And hers never had.
"I couldn't help it."
Lingling froze.
Orm laughed softly.
A broken, miserable laugh.
The kind people made when they were finally admitting defeat.
"I knew there would be people around you."
Her voice cracked.
"I knew women would flirt with you."
A tear rolled down her cheek.
"I knew someone would eventually try to take you home."
Another tear followed.
"And I couldn't stand it."
Lingling's breath caught.
Orm looked down at the table.
Ashamed.
Exposed.
Destroyed.
"I couldn't stand the thought of you leaving and spending the night with someone else."
Silence.
Absolute silence.
Lingling felt her heart stop beating.
Because those weren't the words of someone who had moved on.
Those weren't the words of someone who had forgotten.
Those weren't the words of a married woman who was happy.
Those were the words of someone still trapped inside the same love story that never begins but ended painfully.
The same one she had been trapped inside for four years.
The same one Lingling had never escaped either.
And somehow...
that hurt even more.
Because if Orm still loved her...
Then what had all those years been for?
What had all that suffering been for?
What had they sacrificed everything for?
"You shouldn't have come."
Lingling looked away.
Unable to bear looking at her.
Unable to bear looking at the proof that they were both still drowning.
"You have a family, Orm."
The words shattered something inside both of them.
"You have Sean."
Orm flinched.
"You have Liam."
Another flinch.
Lingling laughed weakly.
The sound was painful.
Almost pathetic.
"And now..."
She looked down at her trembling hands.
"Now I know something happened between us."
The tears she'd been fighting finally began falling.
Slowly.
Quietly.
Relentlessly.
"What happens now?"
Her voice cracked.
Then broke.
"Why did you let it happen, Orm?"
The question wasn't angry.
That was what made it worse.
It was devastated.
A wounded person asking another wounded person why they had stabbed each other.
"Why didn't you stop me?"
Orm's face crumbled instantly.
Because she had asked herself that same question all morning.
All night.
All year.
For four years.
Why couldn't she stop loving Lingling?
Why couldn't she choose someone else?
Why couldn't she be the woman everyone expected her to be?
Why couldn't she let go?
A tear slid down her face.
Then another.
Then another.
"I know it was wrong."
Her voice barely existed.
"I was the sober one."
She covered her mouth.
Trying to stop the sob escaping.
Failing miserably.
"I know I should've stopped everything."
A broken cry escaped her.
"I know we should've talked first."
Another sob.
"I know."
Her shoulders shook violently now.
"I know."
Then she pressed a trembling hand against her chest.
Against the place that had belonged to Lingling for years.
"But when it comes to you..."
Her voice completely shattered.
"My heart doesn't listen."
Lingling immediately looked away.
Because hearing that physically hurt.
Because some part of her had spent four years praying Orm would say those words.
And another part had spent four years terrified she would.
"My soul doesn't listen."
Orm was openly crying now.
No pride.
No walls.
No masks.
Nothing left.
"My whole existence still chooses you."
The words echoed through the hotel room.
And neither of them could survive hearing them.
Because they were true.
Painfully.
Terribly.
Beautifully true.
Silence followed.
Long.
Heavy.
Unbearable.
Then suddenly-
Lingling stood up.
The chair nearly toppled backward.
"Damn it, Orm!"
Her voice cracked through the room.
Now she was crying too.
Years of grief exploding at once.
Years of pretending she was okay.
Years of pretending she'd moved on.
Years of pretending she didn't still look for Orm in every crowded room.
"Do you know what we've done?"
Her hands shook violently.
"Do you know what it made me become?"
Orm looked up helplessly.
As if she already knew the answer.
And hated herself for it.
"I'm a homewrecker now."
The words landed like a gunshot.
Lingling laughed through her tears.
A horrible sound.
A broken sound.
"I'm selfish."
Another tear.
"I'm pathetic."
Another.
"I love you so much, Orm."
Her voice collapsed.
"So much."
She covered her face.
Sobbing.
"But this love ruined everything."
Orm immediately shook her head.
"No-"
"It did!"
Lingling cried.
"It ruined your family!"
"It ruined your marriage!"
"It ruined me!"
The room blurred through tears.
"What have I done?"
"No."
"What happens if Sean finds out?"
"No."
"What happens to Liam?"
"No!"
Orm stood so abruptly her chair screeched against the floor.
The sound echoed violently.
Tears streamed endlessly down her face.
"Lingling, stop."
Her voice cracked.
"Please."
"You don't understand."
"No."
Lingling laughed bitterly.
"I understand perfectly."
Both women stood there crying.
Four years.
Four entire years.
Pouring out of them.
"I need you to listen."
Orm took a desperate step forward.
"Sean and I-"
Her phone rang.
The sound sliced through the room.
Both women froze.
Everything stopped.
Slowly-
Lingling's eyes dropped to the screen.
And her entire body went cold.
Sean.
Of course.
Of course it was Sean.
Because every single time fate allowed them to get close-
something happened.
Something interrupted.
Something pulled them apart.
Just like before.
Just like always.
Orm immediately declined the call.
The phone rang again.
She declined it.
Again.
Again.
Again.
Again.
Relentless.
Like destiny refusing to let them have even one moment.
"Answer it."
Lingling whispered.
"No."
"Orm."
"No."
"Answer your husband."
The words nearly destroyed her.
Orm looked physically wounded.
The phone continued ringing.
Finally-
with trembling fingers-
she answered.
"Sean?"
Her voice was barely audible.
Then silence.
A few seconds.
Just a few.
And suddenly-
everything changed.
Lingling watched the color drain from Orm's face.
Watched her body go rigid.
Watched terror consume every inch of her.
The kind of terror no one could fake.
"Sean?"
Her voice rose sharply.
Fear flooding through her.
"What happened?"
Silence.
Then-
"Sean?"
The call disconnected.
Orm stood frozen.
The phone slipped from her fingers.
Hit the floor.
And shattered the silence.
For a moment she didn't move.
Didn't blink.
Didn't breathe.
Then her entire body folded.
A sob ripped from her chest.
Raw.
Animalistic.
The sound of a mother's worst nightmare coming true.
"Orm!"
Lingling was beside her instantly.
Everything else vanished.
Sean.
The argument.
The guilt.
The heartbreak.
None of it mattered.
Only Orm mattered.
She grabbed her shoulders.
"Orm."
Nothing.
"Look at me."
Nothing.
"Please."
Finally-
Orm lifted her head.
And Lingling's heart broke.
Because she had never seen fear like that.
Not during they broke each other's hearts.
Not when Orm left.
Not in all the years she had known her.
Nothing compared to this.
"It's Liam."
The words came out shattered.
Completely shattered.
"Sean took him to the hospital."
Lingling felt the blood leave her body.
"What happened?"
Orm's hands wouldn't stop shaking.
"He collapsed and can't breathe properly."
The world stopped.
"My baby's allergic reaction..."
A sob tore from her.
"They didn't know."
More tears.
"The pancakes had nuts."
And suddenly Orm wasn't an architect.
Wasn't the woman who had broken Lingling's heart.
She was just a terrified mother.
A mother afraid she was about to lose her child.
Lingling immediately pulled her into her arms.
Holding her together.
Because Orm was falling apart.
Completely.
"Please..."
Orm buried her face into Lingling's shoulder.
Sobbing.
Begging.
Terrified.
"Please take me to him Lingling."
The words nearly broke Lingling too.
Because she could hear the fear underneath them.
The desperation.
The prayer.
The hope that wasn't quite hope anymore.
Lingling wrapped both arms around her.
Holding her tighter.
As if she could somehow keep the entire world from hurting her.
"You don't have to ask Orm."
Orm cried harder.
And for a brief second-
they forgot everything else.
Because love wasn't always about romance.
Sometimes it was this.
Showing up when the other person was breaking.
Holding them together when they couldn't stand.
Being there when fear stole all the air from their lungs.
Lingling gently cupped Orm's tear-stained face.
Forcing her to look at her.
And for the first time that morning-
her voice became steady.
Strong.
Certain.
The voice Orm had always relied on.
The voice that had carried them through so many battles before.
"Look at me."
Orm's trembling eyes found hers.
"He's going to be okay."
The words sounded like a promise.
A prayer.
A desperate act of faith.
Lingling grabbed the car keys from the counter.
Without hesitation.
Without question.
Without thinking.
Because there had never been a world where she wouldn't choose Orm when she needed her.
Never.
"And I'm coming with you."
Another tear rolled down Orm's cheek.
Lingling squeezed her hand tightly.
The same hand she had once held for years.
The same hand she had spent four years trying to forget.
The same hand that somehow still fit perfectly in hers.
"Come on baby."
Orm nodded.
Barely holding herself together.
And together-
with tears still staining their faces,
with words still left unsaid,
with truths still trapped between them,
with hearts still shattered from a love neither of them had ever stopped carrying-
they ran toward the door.
Toward the hospital.
Toward Liam.
Toward another battle neither of them was ready to face.