Chapter 33
Dear Readers,
As we begin Orm's POV, this part of the story will unfold across several chapters.
The pacing becomes slower and more introspective, allowing you to experience the narrative through her emotions, thoughts, and personal journey.
Some answers may take time to unfold, but every scene has been written with purpose and contributes to the bigger picture of the story.
I understand that this style of storytelling may not resonate with everyone, and that's completely okay.
Every reader has different preferences, and I genuinely respect that.
If this particular arc isn't your cup of tea or feels slower than you expected, I kindly encourage you to simply wait until Orm's POV concludes and the story returns to the present timeline, where the next major events for both of them will begin to unfold.
What I respectfully ask is that we extend kindness to one another.
Every chapter of this story is written with genuine love, care, and dedication.
Behind every update are countless hours of outlining, researching, imagining, writing, rewriting, proofreading, and editing to ensure each scene serves its purpose and remains faithful to the story I want to tell.
Writing is far more than putting words on a page—it is a labor of love that demands patience, consistency, and heart.
Those who have written stories themselves understand how much time, emotion, and commitment are invested in every single chapter. What may take only a few minutes to read often takes days—or even weeks—to create.
This story is deeply personal to me. My schedule is already full, yet I continue making time to write because I genuinely love storytelling and because sharing this journey with all of you brings me happiness.
I'm not saying this to ask for sympathy or to make anyone feel guilty. I simply hope to offer a little perspective. I choose to share this story freely, and in return, I hope we can choose kindness just as freely.
Constructive criticism will always be welcome.
Thoughtful feedback helps every writer improve, and I truly appreciate readers who share their opinions with respect.
However, there is a significant difference between constructive criticism and unnecessary bashing.
Critique addresses the work; insults target the person.
One helps a writer grow, while the other serves no meaningful purpose.
If my writing style, storytelling, or creative decisions don't resonate with you, I completely understand.
Not every story is meant for every reader, and that's perfectly alright.
But if you find yourself unable to enjoy this journey or unable to express your thoughts respectfully, I kindly ask that you simply move on without leaving hurtful or unnecessary comments.
At the end of the day, this is my story.
I am the one telling it, and I will continue writing it in the way I believe best serves the characters, the plot, and the vision I have carefully built from the very beginning.
You are always free to decide whether you'd like to continue reading, just as I am free to tell the story I want to tell.
Finally, to everyone who has stayed with this story—to those who have embraced the slower chapters, appreciated the emotional depth, noticed the little details, and trusted the journey even when the destination wasn't immediately clear—thank you from the bottom of my heart.
Your patience, encouragement, and unwavering support remind me why I continue to write. I am truly grateful to have each of you walking this journey alongside me.
With love and gratitude,
Not because the wounds had healed.
But because everyone was waiting.
Waiting for the moment that had been stolen from them four years ago.
The moment when two people who had spent all those years loving each other from opposite sides of heartbreak would finally sit down... with nothing left between them except the truth.
Yesterday, Liam had finally been discharged from the hospital.
His severe allergic reaction to peanuts had terrified everyone.
For one horrifying morning, it had felt as though the world might take yet another precious person away.
Thankfully, it didn't.
The little boy's laughter had returned.
His endless curiosity had returned.
The sparkle in his eyes had returned.
And little by little...
the fear that had haunted Orm's heart since that terrible morning began to loosen its grip.
At exactly one o'clock that afternoon...
Lingling stood outside the hotel room where Orm and Liam were staying.
She had dressed carefully in a neatly pressed striped polo paired with white trousers.
Professional.
Collected.
Calm.
At least...
that was how she looked.
Inside, she was unraveling.
One hand held a basket overflowing with fresh fruits.
The other carried colorful jelly desserts Liam loved.
Resting against her leg was a large box wrapped in dinosaur-themed paper.
Inside was an enormous LEGO dinosaur set she had spent nearly an hour choosing after Sean casually mentioned that Liam had become obsessed with dinosaurs. Which she noticed one time when they accidentally met at a breakfast lounge.
She had compared every box.
Read every age recommendation.
Even imagined which one would make him smile the widest.
Because somehow...
making Liam happy mattered to her.
More than she could ever explain.
Her fingers refused to stay still.
They tightened and loosened around the gift handles over and over again.
Her heartbeat pounded so violently inside her chest that she wondered if the people on the other side of the door could hear it.
That morning...
Sean had called.
"Liam's doing much better," he'd said warmly.
"The doctor discharged him yesterday."
There had been a brief silence.
Then his voice became softer.
"They're back."
Another pause.
"I promised I'd help the two of you talk."
"And I intend to keep that promise."
Now...
Lingling stood exactly where Sean had asked her to be.
Her eyes lingered on the hotel room door.
Her hand hovered over the doorbell.
Lingling closed her eyes.
Drew in one shaky breath.
Then another.
She gathered every remaining piece of courage she had left.
And pressed the doorbell.
A soft chime echoed inside.
Footsteps approached.
The door slowly opened.
Sean stood there.
The moment he saw her...
a genuine smile spread across his face.
Not forced.
Not bittersweet.
Just...
warm.
"I'm glad you came Ling."
Lingling managed a faint smile.
"So am I."
Sean stepped aside without another word.
Inviting her inside.
The room was unexpectedly peaceful.
Golden afternoon sunlight spilled through the windows.
A cartoon played softly on the television.
Curled up on the couch sat Liam, completely captivated by brightly colored dinosaurs stomping across the screen.
Sean chuckled.
"Someone's been asking all morning if 'Wingwing' was coming."
Almost as if he had heard his name...
Liam turned.
The instant his bright little eyes landed on Lingling...
his entire face lit up.
"Wingwing!"
He jumped off the couch without hesitation.
Tiny feet pattered across the wooden floor.
Before Lingling even had time to kneel...
the little boy wrapped both arms tightly around her legs.
"You came!"
His eyes suddenly drifted toward the oversized gift beside her.
His mouth slowly fell open.
"...Is that fow me?"
For the first time in days...
Lingling smiled.
A real smile.
"It is."
She crouched until they were eye level.
"I heard someone likes dinosaurs very, very much."
Liam gasped dramatically.
"Dinosauws!"
His excitement filled every corner of the room.
He hugged the giant box against his tiny chest as though someone might steal it away.
Then, without warning...
he threw his arms around Lingling's neck.
"Thank you, Wingwing. Youw the best.!"
The innocent embrace caught her completely off guard.
For one fleeting moment...
everything else disappeared.
The guilt.
The regret.
The pain.
The heartache.
The years they had lost.
She simply closed her eyes...
and hugged him back.
Perhaps a little tighter than she meant to.
Because somewhere deep inside...
she realized she had missed this feeling.
Being needed.
Being wanted.
Being someone's safe place.
Sean quietly watched from across the room.
A faint smile touched his lips.
Without saying anything, he opened the LEGO box.
Hundreds of colorful bricks spilled across the coffee table.
"So..."
he grinned.
"Should we build the dinosaur?"
"YES!"
Liam shouted so loudly that both adults laughed.
The three of them settled onto the carpet.
Liam proudly declared himself the "boss builder."
Sean searched patiently for missing pieces.
Lingling carefully followed the instruction manual.
Every few minutes Liam proudly handed them the wrong brick.
Each time...
they thanked him anyway.
Then gently helped him find the right one.
The room slowly filled with something it hadn't known in a very long time.
Laughter.
Not loud.
Not forced.
Just small, genuine moments shared between people quietly trying to mend broken pieces of themselves.
For a little while...
the weight of the past became lighter.
Then...
the bathroom door quietly opened.
Warm steam drifted into the living room.
Orm stepped outside, gently drying her damp hair with a towel.
She wore a simple gray sando and washed gray jeans.
Fresh-faced.
Barefaced.
Beautiful in the quietest way.
She was about to ask Sean something...
when laughter reached her ears.
Three different voices.
One belonged to Liam.
One belonged to Sean.
The third...
made her entire body stop moving.
Her breath caught painfully inside her chest.
Slowly...
she lifted her eyes.
And there they were.
Sean sat cross-legged on the floor.
Lingling beside him, carefully attaching tiny dinosaur pieces.
Between them...
Liam proudly held up the dinosaur's tail as though he'd built the entire thing himself.
The three of them looked...
like a family.
Not because of blood.
Not because life had planned it that way.
But because of the warmth that quietly existed between them.
Orm forgot how to breathe.
Her vision blurred almost instantly.
Years ago...
before the cancer.
Before impossible choices.
Before sacrifices no one should ever have to make.
Before goodbye became the only language they knew...
this had been her dream.
Just...
this.
A child laughing.
The woman she loved smiling.
Peace filling an ordinary afternoon.
Home.
A dream she had buried with her own hands.
A dream she had convinced herself she would never deserve again.
And yet...
without anyone realizing it...
it was unfolding right before her eyes.
Her trembling fingers slipped into her pocket.
She pulled out her phone.
Before anyone noticed her...
she quietly captured the moment.
Click.
One photograph.
Sean laughing.
Lingling concentrating.
Liam smiling so brightly that the entire room seemed warmer because of him.
One single photograph.
A memory she already knew would become one of the most precious things she would ever own.
Because dreams...
even the ones that came too late...
were still worth remembering.
Almost as though he felt someone watching him...
Liam looked up.
His face instantly brightened.
"Mommy!"
He ran straight into Orm's arms.
She knelt and held him tightly.
Almost desperately.
"So much energy pretty boy," she whispered, kissing the top of his head.
Liam giggled.
Then grabbed her hand.
"Come! Wingwing is hewe. She bwought me fwuits, jellies, and Lego."
"We're building dinosauws!"
Orm let herself be led.
When she reached the living room...
her eyes met Lingling's.
Time seemed to stop.
Neither spoke.
Neither looked away.
There were no more accusations.
No anger.
No resentment.
Only four years' worth of unshed tears...
waiting patiently behind their eyes.
Sean finally broke the silence.
"We're missing one builder."
A tiny smile found its way onto Orm's lips.
She sat beside Liam.
The four of them continued building the dinosaur together.
Sometimes...
their fingers brushed while reaching for the same piece.
Neither apologized.
Neither hurried to pull away.
The silence between them no longer felt cruel.
It felt fragile.
Like glass.
As though one careless word might shatter everything.
—
An hour later...
the dinosaur stood proudly in the middle of the coffee table.
Liam clapped excitedly.
Sean glanced at his watch before standing.
"I promised Liam we'd visit the mini sea museum this afternoon."
"Fishies!"
Liam cheered.
Sean smiled before looking at Orm.
Their eyes met.
No words were exchanged.
None were necessary.
She understood.
This was the moment he had been quietly preparing for.
Not just today.
But for four long years.
"I'll get Liam's things."
Orm disappeared into the bedroom.
Several minutes later, she returned carrying Liam's tiny backpack.
She knelt before him.
Carefully straightened his shirt.
Brushed back his messy hair.
"No peanuts love," she reminded him softly.
Liam nodded with complete seriousness.
"No peanuts mommy."
"You stay close to Daddy."
Another nod.
"And listen to everything he says."
"I will, I pwomise."
Orm kissed his forehead.
"I love you."
"I love you too, Mommy."
Sean lifted the backpack onto his shoulder.
Before leaving...
Liam hurried back toward Lingling.
He wrapped his little arms around her once more.
"Thank you for my dinosauw, Wingwing."
His smile was so pure...
it made Lingling's chest ache.
"We'll finish the west togethew next time."
Lingling gently brushed a strand of hair away from his forehead.
Her voice came out softer than a whisper.
"I'll be waiting for that."
Satisfied, Liam slipped his tiny hand into Sean's.
Sean paused at the doorway.
His gaze moved from Lingling...
to Orm.
His smile carried quiet hope.
"I think..."
he said gently,
"...it's finally your turn."
Neither woman answered.
They simply watched as Sean and Liam disappeared into the hallway.
The door clicked shut behind them.
Silence settled over the room once more.
But this silence was different.
It wasn't the silence of strangers.
Nor the silence of resentment.
It was the silence that came just before two hearts finally spoke the words they had carried for four long years.
Lingling slowly turned.
Orm did the same.
For the first time since the day they had said goodbye...
there was nowhere left to run.
No more lies to protect each other.
No more sacrifices to hide behind.
Only two women...
two broken hearts...
and a love that had survived four years of silence.
The conversation they had both feared...
and longed for...
was finally about to begin.
— — —
The soft click of the closing door echoed through the spacious hotel suite.
And then...
Silence.
Not the uncomfortable kind that begged to be filled.
Not the bitter silence born from anger or resentment.
It was the kind of silence that only exists between two souls who had spent years carrying words too heavy to speak.
Words they had rehearsed countless times in the solitude of sleepless nights.
Words they had whispered to empty rooms.
Words they never truly believed they would have the chance to say to each other.
Sean and Liam were gone.
No oceans stretched between them.
No unanswered messages.
No misunderstandings.
No obligations.
No pretending.
No more running.
Only Lingling.
And Orm.
Standing in the same room.
Only a few steps apart.
The afternoon sun filtered gently through the floor-to-ceiling windows, bathing the suite in a warm golden glow. The light painted everything with a softness that almost mocked the heaviness inside the room.
Outside, Phuket continued living as though nothing extraordinary was happening.
The world continued turning.
Life continued moving forward.
But inside that hotel suite...
Time had forgotten how to move.
It felt suspended.
As though the universe itself had quietly stepped aside...
Giving two broken hearts the space to finally confront the love they had buried alive four years ago.
Lingling slowly lowered her eyes.
She stared at her own trembling hands.
Her fingers had intertwined so tightly that her knuckles had turned pale.
She hadn't even realized she had been holding her breath.
One shaky inhale.
Another.
Neither was enough.
Her chest still felt painfully tight.
She could hear the frantic beating of her own heart louder than the crashing waves outside.
This was it.
The conversation she had imagined thousands of times.
The conversation she had feared just as much as she had prayed for.
Slowly...
She lifted her head.
Her eyes immediately found Orm.
God...
Even after four years...
Looking at her still hurt.
Not because she hated her.
But because she had never learned how to stop loving her.
Tears had already begun collecting along the edge of her lashes before she even spoke.
When she finally found her voice...
It came out as nothing more than a fragile whisper.
"Orm..."
Just hearing her own name spoken in Lingling's voice after all these years made something inside Orm shatter.
Her heartbeat stumbled.
For four years...
She had dreamed of hearing that voice again.
She imagined it in crowded streets.
In quiet mornings.
In sleepless nights.
Sometimes she thought she heard Lingling calling her...
Only to realize it had been her own memories playing cruel tricks on her.
Now...
It was real.
Lingling looked directly into her eyes.
They were already overflowing with tears.
"Sean talked to me the other day."
A single tear escaped before she could wipe it away.
"He told me..."
"...what really happened four years ago."
She swallowed painfully.
"I spoke to Fluke."
"I asked him everything."
Her voice trembled.
"And he confirmed it."
Silence swallowed the room once again.
Lingling took a hesitant step forward.
As though every inch between them weighed a thousand pounds.
"So now..."
Another step.
"I don't want assumptions anymore."
Another.
"I don't want pieces of the story."
Another.
"I want the truth."
She stopped only when tears blurred her vision completely.
Her lips quivered uncontrollably.
"Please..."
Her voice cracked so painfully that Orm instinctively wanted to reach out and hold her.
"Help me understand."
"Tell me everything."
The room fell silent once more.
Orm lowered her head.
Her shoulders trembled.
She had imagined this day so many times that she had long since lost count.
In some versions...
Lingling screamed at her.
She told her she hated her.
In others...
Lingling simply walked away before Orm could explain.
Sometimes...
Lingling forgave her before she had even spoken.
Sometimes...
Lingling never came back at all.
And Orm would wake up crying.
Again.
And again.
And again.
But never...
Not even once...
Had she imagined this.
She had never imagined Lingling standing before her...
Not demanding an apology.
Not asking for excuses.
Not accusing.
Only asking...
to understand.
That kindness...
That quiet compassion...
That unwavering willingness to hear her side...
Broke something inside Orm that had been barely holding together for years.
Slowly...
She lifted her face.
The moment her eyes met Lingling's...
The tears she had fought so desperately to keep hidden finally escaped.
One after another.
She smiled.
It was impossibly small.
Fragile.
Beautiful.
And devastating.
Not because she was happy.
But because despite everything...
Lingling was still her Lingling.
The same woman who always searched for the truth before passing judgment.
The same woman who believed understanding was stronger than anger.
The same woman Orm had fallen hopelessly, irrevocably in love with.
Her lips parted.
Several seconds passed.
No sound came out.
Only tears.
Finally...
She whispered,
"I'll tell you everything."
Her voice trembled beneath the weight of years.
"But before I do..."
She inhaled unsteadily.
"I need you to know something."
Lingling slowly lifted her tear-filled eyes.
Orm gently placed a trembling hand over her own heart.
"As long as this heart kept beating..."
She smiled through tears.
"Not once..."
"...not for a single second..."
"...did I ever regret loving you."
Another tear slipped down her cheek.
"I regretted hurting you."
"I regretted leaving you."
"I regretted every night you cried because of me."
"I regretted every unanswered question I forced you to carry."
"I regretted becoming the reason your smile disappeared."
Her breathing became uneven.
"But loving you..."
She softly shook her head.
"No."
"I could never regret that."
"It was the most honest thing my heart has ever done."
Her voice broke.
"And I never..."
"...not even once..."
"...stopped choosing you."
Lingling lowered her head as another sob escaped her lips.
Her shoulders shook uncontrollably.
Orm continued, her own tears refusing to stop.
"So many people think I've already moved on."
"They see me smiling."
"They hear me laughing."
"They watch me work."
"They see me raising Liam."
"They see me surviving."
A bittersweet smile curved across her lips.
"They confuse survival with healing."
She looked toward the ocean outside.
"So they congratulate me."
"They tell me how strong I am."
"They tell me life must be beautiful now."
She laughed softly.
A broken...
empty laugh.
"They don't know..."
Her voice trembled.
"...that there are still nights when your name echoes inside my chest like a prayer that heaven forgot to answer."
Lingling forgot how to breathe.
Orm slowly looked back at her.
"So tell me..."
"How do you heal from a breakup..."
"...when you were never even together?"
Lingling's tears spilled over instantly.
Orm continued before fear could silence her again.
"You aren't only grieving a person."
Her breathing became ragged.
"You're grieving every possibility that died before it ever had the chance to live."
"The birthdays we never celebrated."
"The anniversaries we never reached."
"The ordinary mornings I imagined waking beside you."
"The lazy Sundays we never shared."
"The arguments that would've ended in laughter."
"The holidays we never spent together."
"The little family traditions we never created."
"The home we never built."
"The future that only ever existed..."
She pressed her trembling hand harder against her heart.
"...inside two people who loved each other..."
"...at the wrong time."
Lingling covered her mouth as another sob escaped.
Orm smiled sadly.
"Loving you..."
She closed her eyes.
"...was the easiest thing I have ever done."
A long...
aching silence followed.
When she opened her eyes again...
They were filled with years of unshed grief.
"They say the hardest part of love..."
"...is learning how to let go."
She slowly shook her head.
"They're wrong."
"The hardest part..."
"...is letting go of someone who was never really yours to begin with."
Her voice shattered.
"I had to say goodbye..."
"...to someone I never even got to call mine."
She laughed through her tears.
A laugh so broken it sounded more like another cry.
"Do you know how cruel that is?"
"I couldn't even tell anyone my heart was breaking."
"What was I supposed to say?"
"'The woman I love left me'?"
"That she got tired of the constant aches I've given her.?"
She shook her head.
"No."
"Because you were never mine."
"So I carried it alone."
"I smiled when people looked at me."
"I buried myself in work."
"I became a wife."
"I became a mother."
"I cared for Sean with every ounce of respect and gratitude I had."
"I raised Liam with all the love I could give."
"I kept living."
"I kept breathing."
"I kept pretending."
Her hand slowly tightened over her heart until her fingers trembled.
"But every single night..."
"...when the world had gone quiet..."
"...I mourned a love story..."
"...that never even had the chance to begin."
Lingling's knees finally gave way.
Unable to carry the weight of everything she was hearing, she slowly sat on the edge of the sofa, afraid that if she remained standing, she would collapse.
She buried her face in her trembling hands.
Her sobs echoed softly through the room.
Orm remained where she was.
Too afraid to move closer.
Too afraid that if she reached for Lingling...
She might disappear like another dream.
She smiled through tears.
"I kept telling myself..."
"'Maybe one day.'"
"Maybe one day I'll stop loving the version of us that only ever existed inside my heart."
"Maybe one day the memories won't hurt anymore."
"Maybe one day I'll finally find the closure we never got."
She looked at Lingling with so much tenderness...
So much love...
That it almost hurt to witness.
"You'll always be..."
She smiled, though tears continued to fall without end.
"...the greatest love story I never had."
"The woman I loved with my whole heart..."
"...but never got to call mine."
She placed her trembling hand over her heart one final time.
"And yet..."
Her voice broke completely.
"...through every season of my life..."
"...through every smile I forced..."
"...through every tear I cried in silence..."
"...through every prayer I whispered before falling asleep..."
"...through every tomorrow that came without you..."
"...you were still the only one..."
"...my heart never stopped choosing."
—
Silence settled over the room like a heavy blanket.
Not the comfortable kind.
The kind that suffocates.
The kind that presses against your chest until breathing itself feels like work.
Neither woman moved.
Neither of them bothered wiping away the tears anymore.
They had cried too much.
Some tears were simply beyond saving.
They just continued to fall, quietly tracing familiar paths down faces that had learned to grieve in silence.
Orm inhaled slowly.
Even that simple act felt painful.
As though every breath had to pass through four years of regret before reaching her lungs.
Her voice, when it finally came, was barely more than a whisper.
"It's been four years..."
The words lingered between them.
Heavy.
Fragile.
Broken.
"They always say time heals everything."
A bitter smile touched her trembling lips.
"They say one day you'll wake up..."
"...and the ache won't be there anymore."
"...that the memories won't hurt as much..."
"...that you'll finally be able to breathe without feeling like someone left a permanent hole inside your chest."
Another tear slipped free.
"I wanted so badly to believe that."
She lowered her head.
"I prayed for it."
"Every birthday."
"Every New Year."
"Every night before I went to sleep."
"I kept asking God..."
"'Please... let tomorrow hurt a little less than today.'"
She laughed softly.
A laugh so empty it sounded more heartbreaking than crying.
"But tomorrow kept becoming another yesterday."
Her shoulders trembled.
"And somehow..."
She slowly lifted her gaze.
Straight toward Lingling.
"...my heart still remembers you better than it remembers how to live without you."
Silence.
Neither of them looked away.
Looking away now felt like another lie.
Orm swallowed painfully.
"For four years..."
"I fought every battle alone."
"I broke my own heart to save yours, hoping that one day, when the dust finally settled, you would understand why I had to choose everyone else's sake over our love."
She shook her head.
" I did it not because I wanted to."
"But because I convinced myself..."
"...if I carried all the pain by myself..."
"...the people I loved wouldn't have to."
"I thought suffering alone was the kindest thing I could do."
Her lips quivered.
"I thought if I stayed quiet..."
"...if I smiled enough..."
"...if I buried everything deep enough..."
"...everyone else would finally have peace."
She closed her eyes.
Tears escaped beneath her lashes.
"I was wrong."
Her voice broke completely.
"All I did was leave everyone wondering why I slowly disappeared while I was still standing right in front of them."
A long...
Painful...
Unbearable silence followed.
Neither woman spoke.
Because some truths demanded silence more than words.
Then—
Like a locked door finally giving way...
The memories she had buried beneath years of pretending began to surface.
Not gently.
Not kindly.
But all at once.
As if the past had been waiting patiently for permission to break her heart all over again.
-------------------------------
Four Years Earlier...
Bangkok.
The sky looked as though it had been mourning since morning.
Rain poured relentlessly over the city.
The streets shimmered beneath endless sheets of water while thunder rolled softly across the dark afternoon sky.
Everything felt gray.
Everything felt cold.
Everything looked exactly the way Orm's heart felt.
She stood outside Lingling's apartment building, slightly soaked.
Rainwater dripped from her hair.
From her clothes.
From her fingertips.
Yet she barely noticed any of it.
She was shaking.
Not because of the storm.
But because of fear.
Slowly...
Almost instinctively...
One trembling hand rested against her stomach.
Eight weeks.
Just eight weeks.
A life no bigger than a strawberry.
A tiny heartbeat she had never heard...
Yet already loved more than herself.
Her baby.
The realization still felt unreal.
Beautiful.
Terrifying.
Life-changing.
She closed her eyes.
Only one week remained before her wedding to Sean.
One week.
Every second felt like another step toward a future her heart had never chosen.
Her chest tightened painfully.
She wasn't ready.
She knew she never would be.
Because no matter how hard she tried...
Her heart had never stopped belonging to someone else.
When the elevator doors finally opened onto Lingling's floor...
Orm hesitated.
The familiar hallway stretched before her.
She had walked this hallway countless times before.
Sometimes carrying groceries.
Sometimes carrying takeout.
Sometimes carrying coffee simply because Lingling liked waking up to fresh brewed coffee.
Back then...
She never knocked.
Because this had once felt like home.
Now...
Every step felt like trespassing inside a life she no longer belonged to.
She finally stopped before the familiar door.
Her chest tightened.
She stared at the keypad.
The numbers blurred through her tears.
She already knew the code.
She doubted she could ever forget it.
Slowly...
Her trembling fingers reached forward.
1...
1...
2...
7...
Their birthdays.
Combined into one password.
A promise they once laughed would never need changing.
The lock clicked.
The sound echoed louder than it should have.
Orm froze.
Her breathing caught.
She never changed it.
Even after everything...
Even after all the heartbreak...
Even after losing the woman she loved...
Lingling had never changed the code.
Something inside Orm cracked.
How could someone still leave the door open...
After their heart had already been closed?
Fighting another wave of tears, she slowly pushed the door open.
The condominium was dim.
Quiet.
Almost painfully so.
Only one sound disturbed the silence.
Thud.
Thud.
Thud.
Heavy impacts echoed deeper inside the apartment.
Orm stepped forward cautiously.
Then stopped.
Lingling stood before the punching bag near the floor-to-ceiling windows.
She wore black training shorts and a gray sports bra completely soaked with sweat.
Every muscle in her body trembled from exhaustion.
White hand wraps covered her fists.
The fabric had begun staining red where her knuckles had split open from punching far beyond their limits.
The punching bag continued swaying violently.
Proof that she hadn't stopped until seconds before Orm walked in.
Her breathing was ragged.
Harsh.
Uneven.
Her damp hair clung messily to her forehead.
Dark circles shadowed her eyes.
Eyes that no longer looked merely tired.
They looked haunted.
Destroyed.
Like someone who hadn't been sleeping...
Because sleeping meant dreaming.
And dreaming meant seeing Orm all over again.
Lingling turned.
The moment she saw who had entered...
Her entire body froze.
Shock flashed across her face.
Raw.
Unfiltered.
Because standing inside the only place where she allowed herself to collapse...
The only place where she cried without witnesses...
The last person she expected to see...
Was Orm.
Silence swallowed the room.
Lingling slowly removed one boxing glove.
Then the other.
Neither woman spoke.
Neither knew how.
Finally...
Lingling broke the silence.
"What are you doing here?"
Her voice sounded rough.
Hoarse.
Like someone who hadn't spoken much lately.
Or perhaps...
Someone who had spent too many nights screaming into empty rooms.
Orm's heart clenched.
"You didn't go to work."
"You weren't answering your phone."
"Junji and Fluke got worried."
Lingling looked away almost immediately.
"I'm fine."
The lie came quietly.
Almost automatically.
Orm answered just as quickly.
"You're not."
The certainty in her voice hung between them.
Lingling let out a quiet laugh.
One without joy.
One without life.
"Since when did you become an expert on me?"
Orm visibly flinched.
Because once...
She had been.
She knew the meaning behind every silence.
Every fake smile.
Every sarcastic joke.
Every sleepless night.
She could tell whether Lingling was hungry simply by the way she rubbed the back of her neck.
She knew which songs made her cry.
Which movies made her laugh.
Which nightmares woke her before sunrise.
She had memorized an entire human being.
And now...
They stood in the same room pretending they were strangers.
Lingling brushed past her toward the kitchen.
She grabbed a towel and roughly wiped the sweat from her face.
Her hands shook.
Violently.
Orm noticed immediately.
"You haven't slept."
It wasn't a question.
Lingling didn't answer.
She didn't have to.
Silence confessed everything.
Orm's chest ached.
"Ling..."
"Don't."
The word came sharper than either of them expected.
Lingling shut her eyes.
Took one slow breath.
"I'm really tired today, Orm."
Those six words nearly shattered Orm.
Because never...
Not once...
Had she heard Lingling sound like this.
Not during their worst arguments.
Not during every misunderstanding.
Not even during the years they spent pretending they didn't love each other.
This wasn't anger.
This wasn't resentment.
This was exhaustion.
The kind born from loving someone for too long without ever being allowed to keep them.
Orm carefully stepped closer.
Everything inside the apartment hurt to look at.
The couch where they had fallen asleep during movie marathons.
The kitchen where they had danced while cooking dinner.
The balcony where Lingling had once wrapped her arms around Orm and whispered—
"No matter what happens... we'll always find our way back to each other."
How cruel life had become.
The promise remained.
Only the people who made it had been separated.
Orm finally looked at her.
Tears blurred her vision.
"I just want to talk."
Lingling smiled.
A tired...
Painful...
Almost defeated smile.
"Talk about what exactly?"
Orm's voice cracked.
"About us."
The room became unbearably still.
Lingling stared at her for what felt like forever.
Then...
Very slowly...
She smiled again.
This time...
It looked like surrender.
"There is no 'us,' Orm."
A pause.
"So stop looking for something that never got the chance to exist."
The words pierced straight through Orm's heart.
"I'm sorry..."
Nothing.
"I know you're angry."
Silence.
"I know you're hurting."
Still nothing.
"I'll fix it."
Her voice was desperate now.
Broken.
"Please..."
"Just talk to me first."
"I'll fix everything."
Lingling stared at her.
Disbelief slowly spread across her face.
Then...
She laughed.
The sound was devastating.
Not because it was loud.
Because it wasn't.
It was the laugh of someone whose heart had already broken so many times that crying no longer felt enough.
"You'll fix it?"
She repeated the words quietly.
"As if love is the only thing that's broken."
Her eyes reddened.
Her voice cracked.
"There's a baby on the way, Orm."
Orm immediately burst into tears.
"You're getting married in a week."
"Ling—"
"No."
Lingling stepped backward immediately.
"Please don't."
She wiped her face angrily.
"What exactly are you trying to save now?"
Orm opened her mouth.
Nothing came out.
Because Lingling was right.
Everything had already been shattered.
Too many hearts.
Too many promises.
Too many lives.
And somehow...
They still loved each other anyway.
Lingling's breathing became uneven.
"I can't keep doing this."
Her voice grew quieter.
Smaller.
"I finally start convincing myself that maybe..."
"...maybe I'll survive losing you..."
"...then you show up again."
Orm whispered through tears,
"Because I can't let go either."
The confession echoed through the apartment.
Lingling's entire face crumpled.
For one impossible second...
Orm thought she would finally walk toward her.
Thought she would close the distance.
Thought she would choose love over survival.
Instead...
Lingling stepped backward again.
As though every inch closer to Orm would only reopen wounds she had spent months trying to stitch together.
She looked at Orm with heartbreaking honesty.
"Do you know what's ruining me the most?"
Orm nodded weakly.
"What?"
Lingling swallowed.
Her voice barely survived the words.
"Last night..."
"...I dreamed you married me."
Everything inside Orm stopped.
"It felt real."
"So real."
"You were walking toward me."
"Wearing white."
"You were smiling at me..."
"...like for once..."
"...you had actually chosen me."
Orm covered her mouth.
A sob escaped anyway.
Lingling laughed through tears.
"Then Sean appeared."
Her entire body shook.
"And you still left with him."
Silence.
"So I woke up."
She closed her eyes.
"And somehow..."
"...waking up hurt more than the dream ending."
Orm cried harder.
Because she could see it.
Every detail.
Lingling waking alone...
Realizing happiness had only existed inside sleep.
"I'm sorry..."
"I'm so sorry..."
Lingling slowly shook her head.
"You keep apologizing..."
"...like apologies can rewind time. Like it could still fix things."
Orm instinctively reached for her.
"Ling..."
But Lingling stepped away again.
"No."
"Please."
"Don't touch me."
Those words hurt even more.
Orm slowly lowered her hand.
The apartment became painfully quiet again.
Only the sound of two broken hearts trying not to fall apart remained.
Lingling looked exhausted.
No longer angry.
No longer resentful.
Simply...
Finished.
"I loved you for so long."
Her voice trembled.
"And I think..."
"...I'm finally getting too tired..."
"...to survive loving you."
Orm broke completely.
Because she understood.
Lingling wasn't choosing to stop loving her.
She was choosing to stay alive.
Lingling wiped away the last of her tears.
Then whispered...
"Please leave."
"Ling..."
"Please."
Her voice cracked beyond repair.
"I can't breathe anymore when you're this close."
Orm couldn't think.
Couldn't move.
Her heart felt like it was tearing itself apart inside her chest.
She wanted to stay.
She wanted to fight.
She wanted to tell Lingling everything—
About the whole truth.
About her fear.
About the impossible choice she had been forced to make.
But every word felt too late.
Then—
Her phone rang.
The sharp sound sliced through the suffocating silence.
Both of them looked toward it.
The screen lit up.
Orm's stomach dropped.
Her hands trembled so violently she nearly dropped the phone.
She answered.
"H-Hello?"
A frantic voice exploded from the speaker.
"Orm!"
"It's Sean!"
"He collapsed again!"
"We're taking him to the hospital!"
"Please... come quickly!"
The world stopped.
The phone slowly slipped away from her ear.
Everything around her became distant.
Blurred.
Muted.
She looked back at Lingling.
Lingling already understood though she hadn't heard any of the conversations on Orm's phone.
Without asking.
Without needing an explanation.
She closed her eyes.
Go.
She never spoke the word.
She didn't have to.
Orm heard it anyway.
Tears poured endlessly down her face.
"I love you."
Her voice barely existed.
"Please..."
"Please never forget that."
Lingling couldn't answer.
She turned her face away.
Because if she looked at Orm one more time...
If she met those eyes again...
If she saw the woman she had loved for years standing there crying...
She knew she would run to her.
She would hold her.
She would beg her not to leave.
And loving Orm had already cost her too much.
Orm remained frozen by the doorway.
One second.
Then another.
Then another.
Waiting.
Hoping.
Praying.
For Lingling to call her name.
To stop her.
To fight for them.
The silence answered instead.
With trembling legs...
Orm finally turned around.
She reached for the doorknob.
Opened the door.
Then walked away.
Neither of them knew...
Neither of them could have imagined...
That the sound of that door quietly closing behind Orm...
Would become the last goodbye they would ever share.
Neither of them knew...
That four years later...
They would still be haunted by the life they almost had.