Chapter 35 #2
She thought it was harmless.
She thought they were simply two best friends who happened to be unusually close.
She had buried every strange flutter in her chest before it could grow into something she wasn't ready to face.
She convinced herself it was safer that way.
Safer to remain friends.
Safer not to ruin the most important person in her life.
She had been so terrified of losing Lingling...
that she unknowingly chose the very path that would make her lose her forever.
The cruel irony of it all never stopped breaking her.
Then she reached the part of the letter she dreaded the most.
"I booked that Italian restaurant because I planned to finally tell you everything that night."
Orm's lips trembled.
Her fingers tightened around the paper.
She remembered that night.
She remembered how excited Lingling had sounded when inviting her for that dinner.
How she smiled...
God...
That smile.
Orm had interrupted it so casually.
She had hugged Lingling without noticing how stiff her body became.
She had smiled so brightly while saying...
"Sean is courting me."
At that moment...
She thought she was sharing wonderful news with her best friend.
She never noticed that Lingling's entire world had quietly collapsed right in front of her.
She never noticed the slight pause before Lingling smiled back.
Never noticed how red her eyes had become.
Never noticed how tightly Lingling clenched her fists beneath the table just to stop herself from breaking apart.
Because Lingling loved her too much to let her see the pain.
Orm pressed the letter against her chest.
A broken sob escaped her lips.
"I'm sorry..."
Her voice cracked.
"So... so sorry..."
The apology came years too late.
Too late for the woman who had loved her in silence.
Too late for the countless nights Lingling must have cried alone.
Too late for every smile Lingling forced just so Orm would never feel guilty.
She finally understood everything.
Every lingering glance.
Every soft smile.
Every forehead kiss.
Every act of care.
Every sacrifice.
Lingling had loved her all along.
And Orm...
Orm had loved her too.
She had always loved her.
She had simply mistaken love for comfort.
For familiarity.
For friendship.
She buried those feelings so deeply because she believed crossing that line would destroy what they had.
She thought silence would protect them.
Instead...
Silence became the reason they never had a chance.
A bitter laugh escaped between her sobs.
How foolish.
How unbelievably foolish she had been.
She spent years trying so hard not to lose Lingling...
Only to lose her anyway.
She wiped her tears with trembling hands, but more continued falling.
Her chest hurt so much she could barely breathe.
Sometimes...
She caught herself wishing for impossible things.
That none of this had ever happened.
That she would suddenly wake up in her old apartment.
Late for work.
With dozens of missed calls from Lingling complaining that she would be late again.
That they would still meet in the company lobby.
Still argue over lunch.
Still fall asleep beside each other during company outings.
Still have countless tomorrows waiting for them.
She wished she had never met Sean.
Never accepted his confession.
Never broken Lingling's heart without even realizing she was holding it.
She wished...
Just once...
Life would allow her to choose differently.
To run toward Lingling instead of away from the feelings she had feared.
But reality was merciless.
Reality never granted second chances.
Reality simply handed her this letter—
a confession that arrived years too late.
A love story that ended before it ever began.
A future that would forever remain only a dream.
Orm carefully folded the letter once more, her fingertips lingering on Lingling's familiar handwriting.
She lifted it to her lips and kissed it gently, as though it were the closest she could ever come to kissing Lingling again.
Fresh tears slipped down her face.
"I loved you too..."
The words barely escaped as a whisper.
"I just realized it far too late."
Silence answered her.
No warm laughter.
No teasing voice calling her dramatic.
No gentle hand wiping away her tears.
Only the deafening quiet of an empty room.
And somehow...
That silence hurt even more than the crying.
Because it reminded Orm of the cruelest truth she would spend the rest of her life carrying.
She had been loved with a kind of love people search for their entire lives.
A love that asked for nothing.
A love that expected nothing.
A love that quietly chose her every single day.
And she only recognized its worth...
when the person who gave it was no longer there to hear her say,
"I love you too."
— — —
Six months later...
Orm was now eight months pregnant.
Life had continued to move forward, whether she was ready for it or not.
Her baby bump had grown beautifully round, stretching gently beneath the loose dresses she now wore every day.
Liam was healthy.
Strong.
He kicked often, as if reminding her that despite everything, life was still growing inside her.
Yet every time someone looked at her, they all noticed the same thing.
She was thinner than she had ever been.
Motherhood had softened her features.
Grief had hollowed them.
The once vibrant sparkle in her eyes had long disappeared, replaced by an exhaustion that sleep could never cure.
The smile she wore these days...
It still existed.
But it never quite reached her eyes.
It was the kind of smile people learned to wear after crying too much.
The kind that simply told the world,
"I'm surviving."
Nothing more.
Nothing less.
Sean...
Had changed even more.
The cancer had become merciless.
It had stolen everything that once made him look like himself.
The broad shoulders that had always carried others now seemed incapable of carrying even their own weight.
His once healthy body had become painfully frail.
Every bone beneath his skin had become visible.
His hair had completely fallen out after months of chemotherapy.
His cheeks had sunk inward.
His lips had lost their natural color.
His skin had become almost translucent beneath the afternoon sunlight.
Some days...
Even breathing looked exhausting.
And yet...
Whenever Orm entered the room...
He still smiled.
Not because he wasn't afraid.
But because he didn't want the woman who had sacrificed everything for him to carry one more sorrow than she already did.
—
That afternoon, after another draining chemotherapy session, Orm slowly wheeled Sean outside into one of Bangkok's quiet hospital gardens.
The nurses had encouraged him to get a little fresh air.
The garden was peaceful.
Small white flowers swayed gently beneath the breeze.
Butterflies wandered from blossom to blossom.
Somewhere nearby, birds sang as though illness did not exist.
As though hospitals were not filled with people praying for one more tomorrow.
Orm carefully adjusted the blanket covering Sean's legs.
"You'll get cold."
Sean chuckled weakly.
"I think you're becoming more protective than my own mother."
She laughed softly.
"I learned from the best."
He looked around the garden.
Closed his eyes.
Took in one slow breath.
"...It feels nice."
His voice had become little more than a whisper.
A voice weakened by endless treatments.
But the peace in it was genuine.
Orm smiled.
"It does."
For a brief moment...
Neither of them spoke.
They simply listened to the wind.
Neither of them noticed two familiar figures walking along the opposite pathway.
Fluke.
Junji.
They had come to visit another friend admitted to the same hospital.
They chatted quietly as they walked.
Until...
Junji's eyes wandered toward the garden.
Toward the wheelchair.
Toward the man sitting inside it.
She frowned.
The man looked terribly ill.
Almost unrecognizable.
Then...
Her gaze shifted toward the woman beside the wheelchair.
The world seemed to stop turning.
"...Orm?"
Her voice barely escaped her lips.
Fluke followed her gaze.
His heart instantly dropped.
There she was.
Heavily pregnant.
Her hands gently fixing the blanket over the sick man's lap.
Her face looked older somehow.
Not because of age.
Because of pain.
Because some kinds of heartbreak aged people far faster than time ever could.
Junji's breathing became uneven.
"No..."
she whispered.
"No..."
Without another word...
Both of them hurried toward the couple.
"Orm..."
The familiar voice made Orm slowly turn around.
The moment she recognized them...
The color drained from her face.
Her lips parted.
Her fingers instinctively tightened around the wheelchair handles.
"...Junji?"
"...Fluke?"
For several long seconds...
No one moved.
No one spoke.
There were too many apologies.
Too many questions.
Too many months of misunderstanding standing silently between them.
Then...
Junji look at Orm again, she's unrecognizable, far from Orm she pushed away months ago.
She remembers Lingling immediately. If Lingling is here and she would see Orm's state right now, she'll never be okay.
She can't take it anymore, she closed the distance.
Without asking permission...
She threw her arms around Orm.
Tightly.
Desperately.
As though she was trying to make up for every month she hadn't been there.
The unexpected embrace shattered the fragile wall Orm had spent months building around herself.
She broke.
Completely.
A sob escaped her lips before she could stop it.
Her knees nearly gave out.
Junji held her tighter.
"I'm sorry..."
Her own tears poured freely now.
"I'm so sorry, Orm..."
Orm buried her face into Junji's shoulder like a child who had been pretending to be strong for far too long.
Months of silent suffering came crashing out of her.
Every lonely night.
Every hidden tear.
Every goodbye she had swallowed.
Every memory she had forced herself not to revisit.
Everything...
Finally spilled over.
"So am I..."