Chapter 35 #4
The pain.
The fear.
The loneliness.
All of it faded beneath that tiny, miraculous sound.
"Congratulations," one of the nurses whispered, her own eyes glistening.
"It's a healthy baby boy."
Orm didn't answer.
She couldn't.
The tears came before the words ever could.
She broke.
Completely.
Years of buried grief.
Months of silent suffering.
Weeks of pretending she was stronger than she truly felt.
Everything poured out at once.
The nurse carefully laid the tiny baby against her trembling chest.
He was warm.
So impossibly small.
His little fingers instinctively curled around hers.
As though he already knew...
She was his safe place.
The nurse smiled softly.
"He looks just like an angel."
Orm stared at him through tear-filled eyes.
Her lips quivered into the smallest smile.
A smile born from unimaginable pain...
Yet overflowing with unconditional love.
She leaned down and pressed the gentlest kiss against his forehead.
"My Liam Sage..."
Her voice was barely above a whisper.
"So beautiful..."
"So innocent..."
"You'll never have to carry the burdens I carried."
Another tear slipped onto Liam's tiny blanket.
Orm closed her eyes for a moment before whispering the promise every mother hopes she can keep.
"I'll spend the rest of my life protecting your heart."
"I'll make sure you grow up surrounded by kindness."
"I'll make sure you never question how deeply you're loved."
"And even if I have to carry every pain in this world by myself..."
She kissed his forehead once more.
"...I'll never let it reach you."
"I promise."
—
The months that followed were anything but easy.
Healing, they learned, was never a straight path.
It came in tiny victories that most people would never notice.
A morning when Sean could finally stand without trembling.
An afternoon when he managed to finish an entire meal.
A night when the pain eased enough for him to sleep without waking from nightmares.
After the bone marrow transplant, every day felt like another battle against a body that had almost given up.
There were setbacks.
There were terrifying fevers that sent everyone back to the hospital in the middle of the night.
Blood tests that made them hold their breath.
Days when Sean became so weak that even lifting a spoon exhausted him.
There were moments when Orm caught him staring silently out the hospital window, and she knew exactly what he was thinking.
What if this still isn't enough?
But every single time...
He chose to stay.
He chose another day.
Another treatment.
Another painful injection.
Another sleepless night.
Because every time he wanted to surrender...
He imagine the tiny footsteps would come running toward him in the next years.
Who would call him "Daddy!"
Liam.
Their miracle.
Their little boy.
Their impossible hope.
So he needed to heal.
—
One quiet afternoon, Orm pushed Liam's stroller through the brightly lit aisles of the supermarket.
The little boy had just turned three months old.
He was peacefully asleep, wrapped in a soft blue blanket, completely unaware of the silent storms his mother carried inside her heart.
Orm carefully picked up diapers, baby wipes, infant formula, tiny bottles, and a few plush toys she knew Liam would someday hold close. Motherhood had become second nature to her. Every decision she made now revolved around her son.
Yet no matter how full her hands became...
Her heart always felt painfully empty.
As she stood in line at the checkout counter, absentmindedly rocking the stroller back and forth, her gaze wandered toward the magazine rack beside the cashier.
She wasn't really looking.
Not until...
She froze.
Her breathing stopped.
There...
Smiling back at her...
Lingling.
Orm stared at the magazine as though it were a ghost.
Her hands trembled violently.
"No..."
she whispered under her breath.
Her feet moved before her mind could catch up.
She reached for the magazine with shaking fingers, almost afraid that if she touched it...
...it would disappear.
It didn't.
Lingling's familiar smile remained.
Beautiful.
Elegant.
Gentle.
Exactly as Orm remembered.
Only...
There was something different now.
There was sadness hidden behind that smile.
The kind of sadness only someone who had loved with everything they had—and lost it all—could carry.
Orm slowly lowered her eyes to the headline.
Below it was a feature highlighting Lingling's remarkable career.
The article spoke of her accomplishments as an engineer.
How she had become one of the youngest project leaders in a prestigious engineering firm.
How her innovative designs had earned international recognition.
How she had quietly built a successful life far away from Thailand.
Far away...
From everyone.
Far away...
From Orm.
Paris.
The word echoed endlessly inside her head.
Paris...
She was in Paris...
All this time.
All these years...
While Orm had spent countless nights wondering if Lingling was eating properly...
If she was sleeping...
If she was happy...
If she was still alive...
Lingling had been carrying her broken heart on the other side of the world.
A tear landed on the glossy page.
Then another.
Soon the ink blurred beneath her tears until she could no longer read the words.
She clutched the magazine tightly against her chest as though it were the only piece of Lingling she had left.
For the first time in over two years...
She knew where Lingling was.
—
When Orm finally arrived home, she barely remembered the drive.
She gently laid the sleeping Liam in his crib before reaching for her phone with trembling hands.
She immediately called Fluke.
Then Junji.
Her voice broke before either of them could even say hello.
"I know where she is..."
There was a long silence.
Less than an hour later, Fluke and Junji arrived at the apartment.
Neither of them looked surprised.
They simply exchanged a quiet glance.
Orm looked from one face to the other.
"You knew..."
It wasn't a question.
It was the painful realization of someone finally understanding the truth.
Junji lowered her head.
Fluke sighed heavily before speaking.
"...Yes."
Another silence settled between them.
Heavy.
Unbearable.
Finally, Fluke looked into Orm's tear-filled eyes.
"The same day you married Sean..."
"...Lingling left Thailand."
Orm felt as though the floor beneath her had vanished.
Junji nodded.
"She went back to live with her family."
"In Paris."
No one spoke after that.
Because there was nothing left to say.
Orm slowly closed her eyes.
For more than two years...
She had believed she'd lost Lingling forever.
But now...
For the very first time...
Hope quietly found its way back into her heart.
Tiny.
Fragile.
But alive.
"I'll go."
Her voice was barely above a whisper.
"I have to find her."
"I have to tell her everything."
"I have to tell her I never stopped loving her."
She stood up immediately, already thinking of flights...
Already imagining herself running into Lingling's arms after years apart.
But Fluke gently reached out and held her wrist.
"Orm..."
She looked at him.
"You just gave birth."
Her shoulders slowly fell.
"Liam still needs you every hour."
She instinctively turned toward the nursery where her son was peacefully sleeping.
Junji gently took her hand.
"Sean is only beginning to recover."
Another painful truth.
Sean still needed constant treatment.
Constant monitoring.
His battle wasn't over yet.
Then Junji quietly added the words that shattered whatever strength Orm still had left.
"And Lingling..."
"...still needs time to heal."