Chapter 41
Morning arrived quietly in Phuket.
The first rays of sunlight slipped through the curtains, painting thin golden lines across the bedroom floor. Outside, the sea continued its endless rhythm, waves rolling gently toward the shore before retreating into the blue.
There was something different about this morning.
Something softer.
Something almost sacred.
For the first time in four years, Orm woke up without immediately feeling the familiar emptiness in her chest.
She didn't wake up alone.
She didn't wake up reaching across a cold mattress.
She didn't wake up having to remind herself that some people were meant to become memories.
Instead...
She woke up in Lingling's embrace.
Orm remained perfectly still.
She was afraid to move.
Afraid that even the smallest movement might disturb the moment.
Lingling's arm was wrapped securely around her waist, her body warm against Orm's back. Their legs were tangled beneath the sheets, and Orm could feel the slow, steady rhythm of Lingling's breathing against the back of her neck.
Peaceful.
Unhurried.
Real.
Orm slowly opened her eyes.
For several seconds, she simply stared at the wall.
Then reality returned.
Lingling was here.
She was actually here.
Not like the other night where Lingling stayed because she's drunk.
Today Lingling is here cause she wanted to be here with Orm.
Orm's lips curved into the smallest smile.
Her heart felt strangely full.
They had slept.
Really slept.
No nightmares.
No anxious thoughts.
No waking in the middle of the night wondering where the other person was.
For the first time in four years, both of them had surrendered completely to sleep while holding each other.
And somehow, that simple thing felt like a miracle.
Orm carefully turned in Lingling's arms.
She moved slowly, making sure not to wake her.
Lingling remained asleep.
Her face was relaxed, the tension that normally lived between her brows completely gone.
Orm stared.
She couldn't help herself.
She simply stared.
She had missed this face.
God...
She had missed this face more than she could ever explain.
Four years had passed, yet somehow, looking at Lingling this close still made Orm's heart stumble.
She slowly lifted her hand.
Her fingers hovered above Lingling's forehead.
Then, with the gentleness of someone touching something precious, she traced her fingertip across it.
Orm smiled faintly.
Her finger moved down to Lingling's bushy brows.
She remembered those brows.
Especially when Lingling was sulking.
Orm almost laughed.
Then her finger traveled gently toward her closed eyes.
Those chinky eyes that could somehow look intimidating when Lingling was angry and incredibly soft when she smiled.
Orm's fingertip moved down the bridge of her pointed nose.
Then to the small mole on her cheek.
Orm paused there.
She remembered kissing that spot.
So many times.
Before she knew how precious ordinary moments were.
Before she knew that one day, she would spend years wishing she could touch this face again.
Her fingers continued toward Lingling's lips.
Orm didn't touch them immediately.
She simply stared.
Those lips had once whispered her name every night.
Those lips had once told her they loved her.
Those lips had once kissed her forehead when she was sick.
Those lips had once promised forever.
Orm's eyes suddenly burned.
She continued tracing the sharp features of Lingling's face, memorizing every familiar line as if she were afraid that one day she might forget.
But she wouldn't.
She couldn't.
She had spent four years remembering.
She wasn't going to stop now.
Orm leaned forward.
Very carefully...
Very lightly...
She pressed a kiss against Lingling's forehead.
Her lips lingered there for a heartbeat.
Then she closed her eyes.
And silently thanked heaven.
Orm swallowed the lump in her throat.
She had once believed all the sacrifices she had made were the price she had to pay.
She had given up love.
She had given up happiness.
She had given up mornings like this.
She had spent four years convincing herself that the pain was worth it.
That perhaps loving Lingling from afar was enough.
But looking at her now...
Orm finally understood.
Everything she had sacrificed had already been paid for.
Not because the pain had been meaningless.
Not because the years could be returned.
But because this morning existed.
This one morning.
This one quiet, beautiful morning where she could wake up and find Lingling beside her.
Alive.
Warm.
Breathing.
Holding her.
Orm smiled through the tears beginning to gather in her eyes.
She wanted more mornings like this.
So many more.
She wanted mornings where Lingling complained because she had stolen the blanket.
Mornings where Liam came running into their room because he was hungry.
Mornings where Lingling made terrible coffee and insisted it was perfect.
Mornings where they argued about who was supposed to make breakfast.
Mornings where the house was loud.
Messy.
Warm.
A home.
Their home.
She wanted to watch Liam grow.
She wanted to be there for every birthday.
Every school milestone.
Every scraped knee.
Every ridiculous question.
Every accomplishment.
And maybe...
If fate was kind enough to allow it...
She wanted more children with Lingling.
Children who would have Lingling's eyes.
Lingling's smile.
Lingling's stubbornness.
Maybe little footsteps running through their home.
Maybe tiny hands reaching for them.
Maybe nights filled with crying babies and exhausted laughter.
Maybe a family they had once been too afraid to dream about.
Orm knew she couldn't control what the future would bring.
She couldn't force fate.
But she could hope.
And for the first time in four years...
Hope didn't feel foolish.
She wanted to change four years of tears into years of happiness.
She wanted to replace lonely nights with shared ones.
Replace regret with memories.
Replace silence with laughter.
Replace goodbye with good morning.
She wanted to make new memories with Lingling.
Enough memories to make the old ones stop hurting.
Enough happiness to prove that their story hadn't ended four years ago.
Orm stared at Lingling again.
Her heart whispered the same prayer.
A tear slipped down her cheek.
Orm didn't notice.
She was too lost in the woman sleeping beside her.
Until a warm hand suddenly touched her face.
Orm froze.
Lingling's eyes were slowly opening.
Sleep still lingered in them.
But the moment she saw Orm...
Something softened.
"Good morning."
Orm's lips trembled.
"Good morning."
Lingling blinked a few times.
Then she noticed the tears.
Her sleepy expression disappeared immediately.
Worry etched across her face.
"Orm?"
Orm quickly wiped her cheek.
But another tear followed.
Lingling raised herself onto one elbow.
"Why are you crying?"
"I'm not."
Lingling gave her a look.
"You're literally crying."
Orm tried to laugh.
"I just..."
Her voice broke.
And that was enough.
Everything she had been holding inside suddenly collapsed.
Orm burst into tears.
Her shoulders began shaking.
She covered her face, but it only made the sobs worse.
Lingling immediately pulled her into her arms.
"Hey."
Orm shook her head.
Lingling held her tighter.
"Hey, hey..."
She gently rubbed Orm's back.
"I'm here."
Orm cried harder.
Lingling didn't try to stop her.
She didn't tell her not to cry.
She didn't ask her to calm down.
She simply held her.
One hand stroked Orm's hair.
The other remained wrapped firmly around her waist.
"I'm here," Lingling whispered again.
Orm buried her face against Lingling's chest.
"I'm here."
The words came again and again.
Soft.
Patient.
Certain.
Eventually, Orm's sobs began to quiet.
Her breathing remained shaky.
Lingling continued stroking her hair.
She kissed the top of her head.
"Take your time."
Orm took a trembling breath.
"I'm sorry."
"For crying?"
Orm nodded.
Lingling frowned.
"You don't have to apologize for crying."
Orm remained silent.
Lingling gently lifted her chin.
"Tell me."
Orm looked into her eyes.
"I'm scared."
Lingling's expression softened.
"Of what?"
Orm swallowed.
"That this is a dream."
Lingling's heart broke.
Orm's eyes filled again.
"I'm scared I'm going to wake up and you'll be gone."
Lingling immediately shook her head.
"I'm not going anywhere."
"I know you said that last night."
"I mean it."
Orm's lips trembled.
"I want more mornings like this."
Her voice broke.
"So many more."
Lingling brushed away her tears.
"You'll have them."
"I want to wake up beside you."
"You will."
"I want Liam to be there."
"He will."
"I want..."
Orm stopped.
Lingling waited.
"A home."
Her voice became almost inaudible.
"A real home."
Lingling's eyes filled.
Orm looked down.
"I want a place where we don't have to be afraid anymore."
Lingling gently cupped her cheek.
"Then we'll build one soon."
Orm looked up.
"Together?"
"Together."
Lingling kissed her forehead.
"You won't be alone anymore, Orm."
Orm closed her eyes.
Lingling whispered,
"Not ever."
She held her tighter.
"You have me."
Another kiss.
"And you have Liam."
Orm's breath hitched.
Lingling smiled softly.
"We're here."
She wiped another tear from Orm's cheek.
"And we're not leaving you behind."
Orm finally smiled.
A tiny smile.
But it was enough.
She leaned forward and hugged Lingling again.
Lingling wrapped both arms around her.
They stayed like that for several minutes.
No words.
Just warmth.
Just breathing.
Just the quiet reassurance that neither of them had disappeared.
Eventually, Orm pulled back.
Their faces were inches apart.
Lingling smiled.
"You're still crying."
Orm sniffled.
"So are you."
Lingling touched beneath her eye.
"That's your fault."
Orm laughed softly.
"My fault?"
"Yes."
"How?"
"You came back into my life."
Orm's smile widened.
"And you let me."
"I'd let you do it again."