Chapter Nineteen
Logan
Jess just stares at me after that.
Neither of us knowing what to do. What to say.
Her mouth opens like she’s about to respond, but whatever was there dies before it makes it out. She swallows it instead.
I stay quiet, watching her struggle.
Then, softly, she says, her voice barely audible. “I’ll move out. I’m the one who messed up,” she whispers. “I should be the one to leave.”
Before I can answer, the house phone rings.
We both look at it.
It never rings. The only reason we still have it is because it’s tied to the Wi-Fi and neither of us wanted to deal with removing it.
It rings again.
I grab it before it stops. “Hello?”
“Where the fuck have you been?” someone yells.
I pull the phone from my ear and glance at the ID before bringing it back. “Darren?”
“Yes!” he shouts. “I’ve called you and Jess a thousand times!”
I check my pockets instinctively.
My phone isn’t there.
Jess is looking around for hers too. I mouth outside, remembering she dropped her purse when I pulled her into the house earlier.
I vaguely remember tossing mine onto the sofa when things got heated.
“Where’s the fire?” I ask.
“Simone’s water broke.”
“Oh.” I blink. “Oh man, that’s… great.” I pause. “What’s that got to do with us?”
“You need to get here,” he says.
“Uh… why? Babies take time-”
“Logan.” His voice turns serious. “Please.”
And I get it.
He’s not asking for logistics.
He’s asking for me.
“I’ll be there,” I say.
He hangs up without another word.
Jess comes back inside, purse in hand, already texting.
“Simone went into labor,” I tell her.
Her head snaps up. “Oh.”
She checks her phone, then looks at me. “You should go. Darren probably needs you.”
I nod. He does.
A pang hits me. Simone clearly didn’t call Jess.
“We have to finish our talk,” I say.
“We’ll do it tonight,” she replies, lifting her phone. “We have interviews today, remember?”
“Shit,” I mutter, digging through the sofa cushions for mine.
“I’ll take care of it,” she says. “You go be there for Darren… and Simone.”
“You sure?”
“Positive. I’ll take care of the boys.”
I hesitate.
“Tonight?” I ask.
She nods. “Tonight.”
I leave. And with every step toward the door, I want to turn around and finish what we started.
It feels wrong leaving like this, but Darren needs me right now and I can’t say no.
At the hospital, I find Darren in the maternity ward waiting room, pacing.
Well. As much pacing as you can do in a wheelchair.
He’s rolling back and forth in short, tight lines, hands gripping the rims like he’s about to wear a groove into the tile.
“What are you doing out here?” I ask, dropping into a chair. “Shouldn’t you be with Simone?”
He shakes his head, still moving. “Her mom and sister are with her.”
“Why aren’t you?” I ask.
“She told me to take a walk,” he mutters. “Apparently my energy was distracting.”
I look at his anxious face and say dryly, “I wonder why.”
He ignores that.
“It just suddenly hit me,” he says, stopping in front of me. “I’m about to be a dad. A dad, Logan. Me.”
I nod slowly. “Yeah. I get it. I went through the same thing when Jess was pregnant. You just have to remember all you have to do is show up. Be there. The rest comes naturally.”
“Oh, fuck off,” he snaps. “You were having a boy. Army veteran. Played sports. Raising a son? That was easy.”
I blink at him. “Easy?”
“Yes,” he insists. “You were built for that. I’m having a girl. A girl, okay? In a world filled with assholes like me.”
I lean back in my chair and fold my arms. I decide not to say that, though I’ll never admit it out loud, finding out we were having boys both times helped me sleep at night. It definitely wasn’t easy. It just felt… easier.
“That kid’s gonna be half Simone,” I say instead. “She’ll know exactly how to deal with assholes like you.”
Darren shoots me a glare like I was supposed to argue with him about his personality.
He may not be one now, but before the accident, Darren was not a nice guy. Not in general. But if you were an attractive woman who liked him? Yeah, you were screwed. He broke so many hearts that Mom eventually banned dates from family events unless you’d made it to an anniversary.
The accident and Simone dumping him for his behavior after, changed him, though. He still gets hit on. But now he knows what he has to lose.
“Why weren’t you picking up your phone anyway?” he asks.
“Jess and I were… busy,” I say.
His brows lift.
“We were talking,” I clarify quickly.
“Oh,” he says.
“She… uh… offered to move out.”
“Shit.” He stops rolling. “I didn’t realize you guys were there yet.”
I shrug. “I didn’t either. But… we can’t really go backwards. So, I guess this is the next logical step.”
“You don’t sound sure,” he says.
I clear my throat. “Let’s focus back on your impending fatherhood.”
He doesn’t smile. “Logan,” he says, his tone turning serious, “you’re the one who told me that if I loved Simone and she loved me, then this-” he gestures to his legs “-this wouldn’t break us. And you were right. Man, you and Jess are the reason we’re here right now.”
I look away. “That’s nice and all,” I mutter, “but I can’t forget what happened.”
“Why not?” he asks.
I turn back to him. “Could you forget if Simone screwed someone else?”
He doesn’t hesitate. “If she did it as revenge for my affair? Then yeah,” he says, a sharp edge of sarcasm in his voice. “I’d call it even.”
I stare at him shocked he didn’t even hesitate.
“You’re full of shit,” I say.
“Am I?” he shoots back. “You had an affair. An actual affair. It may not have been fucking, but it sure as shit wasn’t friendship.”
My jaw tightens. “How would you know?” I snap.
“Because I saw you,” he says evenly. “At Jain’s. Laughing. Having dinner with a woman who definitely wasn’t your wife.”
The words hit me like a punch. I try to remember what dinner he’s talking about, but I have no recollection.
“If you thought that,” I say slowly, “why didn’t you say anything?”
“Because,” he replies, “you’re my big brother. I may not have agreed with what you were doing, but I sure as hell wasn’t going to be the reason your marriage ended.”
I drag the tip of my tongue across my upper teeth. “What happened with Lenore was-”
“A mistake,” he cuts in. “Like the one Jess made.”
I bristle. “What do you care about my marriage anyway?”
He stares at me like I just asked the dumbest question in the world.
“You’re my brother,” he says. “I’m returning the favor.”
“Well, don’t,” I snap.
“Fine,” he says, nodding once. “Then I’ll say what you said to me.”
He wheels back slightly, eyes locked on mine.
“Years from now, when she’s with another guy, you’re going to think back to this moment and wish I’d punched some sense into you.”
He turns toward the maternity doors. “Now,” he mutters, “I’m going inside to be with my wife.”
And just like that, I’m left alone in the waiting room, listening to the echoes of my own advice.
Jess
I arrive at the hospital holding several takeout bags, a terrible mood, and two overly energetic boys.
My day went from bad to worse.
I got to the office a little later than I was supposed to. Fine. A lot later.
I walked straight into Arnon with that smug, controlled tone he uses when he wants to imply incompetence without actually saying it. He wasn’t yelling, but the attitude? Absolutely not appropriate for someone speaking to their boss. Which I am.
Normally, putting a man in his place doesn’t bother me. I actually enjoy reminding arrogant idiots that complaining about crying babies doesn’t make them stop, it only makes the mother feel worse.
Today, though, it felt different. Because even if his delivery was awful, he wasn’t entirely wrong. Neither Logan nor I were there to conduct the interviews we’d scheduled.
I showed up at noon for slots that started at nine. It’s hard to demand punctuality when you stroll in three hours late.
Not that the candidates had potential. Not one of them seemed to grasp that access to surveillance cameras does not mean access to social media commentary. The thought of someone tweeting about client footage makes my skin crawl. It’s dangerous. It’s invasive. And it’s a lawsuit waiting to happen.
Arnon told me, in that prissy, clipped tone, that those were the only applicants. I don’t believe him. Not for a second.
He’s becoming a problem.
I can’t fire him without consulting Logan, who seems to like him enough to promote the fucker. And now with the way we left things, I can’t exactly text him about a boy being mean to me
I was going to have Mackie quietly look into it, but she called in sick today, making an already bad day even more stressful.
And then Simone had her baby.
And I found out from a text from my husband.
Simone was in the room when Myles and River were born.
We’d planned for me to be there for her.
I know that I’m not entitled to be in the room and I’m trying very hard to be understanding.
But now I’m angry that she’s angry. She’s never iced me out like this before.
I can only hope it’s the West DNA flaring up.
“Oh, you’re the best,” Darren says, taking the bags from me and kissing my cheek.
I lightly smack his arm. “Congrats, Dad.”
“Oh, she’s amazing,” he says, and his entire face changes. There’s a softness there I’ve never seen before.
“Can we see her? Can we see her?” the boys chant.
“Hi,” Logan says when he sees me. Then to the boys: “Eat first, then you can see your little cousin.”
“Hi,” I reply for the sake of the boys. “Where are your parents”? I ask looking around.
“They left,” he says, with visible relief.
“That bad?”
Darren grimaces. “Could’ve been better.”
I wince in sympathy. Logan and I avoided that entire circus by telling no one but Simone and Darren when I went into labor. We gave separate visiting windows. It felt clinical at the time, but it was efficient.
“How is she?” I ask Darren as he demolishes his second burger.
“She was very brave,” he says proudly. “Me? I could’ve been better.”
I laugh, biting my lip, debating whether I should risk asking permission to see Simone.
Once we finish eating, Logan takes the boys to wash their hands. Darren lingers awkwardly holding the bag meant for Simone.
“I’ll ask her if you can go in,” he offers.
“No,” I say quickly, raising my palm. “No. She just had a baby. Don’t.”
“Jess… she’s just-”
“I know,” I say, even though I don’t.
Logan comes back with the boys, and I make an excuse about a work call in front of them before waving them toward the room. Logan gives me a worried look, but I brush it off and step outside into the cool air.
I guess I should start looking for apartments now.
I’m hoping the look in Logan’s eyes when I offered to move out was hesitation. Not relief.
I heard what he said. And while I can’t erase the images in his mind, I can at least tell him the truth behind them.
I didn’t have a passionate affair with someone I cared about.
I got drunk and slept with the first guy who showed interest. It was fast. Clumsy. Over before I really processed what I was doing.
There was no romance. No connection.
Just anger and stupidity.
The next morning, I had been so distraught I started crying at breakfast in front of the boys. Logan thought it was because of him. He had been so patient. So understanding. So desperate to fix what he thought he’d broken.
That had only made me cry harder.
I had locked myself in the bedroom.
He’d had Darren take the boys and spent the rest of the day trying to get me to come out.
I had, with the decision to tell him everything.
But when I’d opened the door, he had been standing there looking so sweet and apologetic that I’d ended up telling him that I forgave him
That I never wanted to talk about it again.
He had been too relieved to question it.
Now I wish he had.