Chapter Twenty-Five
Logan
“You both seem… lighter,” Dr. Nina says as Jess and I settle onto the couch at exactly four o’clock.
Jess curls into my side automatically. I let her. My fingers lace through hers like it’s instinct.
“We are,” I answer.
Dr. Nina doesn’t smile. She studies us.
“Tell me what brought you here today.”
I hesitate then glance at Jess.
She inhales slowly. “You might remember we were here last year,” she says carefully. “For…”
Dr. Nina nods once.
“A few months ago,” Jess continues, “I told Logan that during that time… I slept with someone else.”
The words still hit like a bruise. Not sharp anymore. But tender.
“We separated,” she adds. “Structured for sixty days. We nearly divorced.”
Dr. Nina’s gaze shifts to me. “And now?”
Jess gives a strained little laugh. “Now we’re… good?”
The way she says it makes it sound like a question.
I clear my throat.
“I didn’t just forgive her,” I say. “I tried to leave. I tried to stay angry. I tried to make it simple.” I exhale. “It wasn’t.”
“What changed?” Dr. Nina asks.
I stare at the bookshelf behind her instead of looking at Jess.
“I thought she’d left,” I admit. “There was a suitcase by the door. The kids were gone. I panicked.”
“That’s when you decided to forgive her?” Nina asks gently.
“No,” I say quickly. “That’s when I realized I don’t want a life without her.”
Silence settles.
“Those are different things,” she says.
I nod slowly. “Yeah.”
Jess’s fingers tighten around mine.
Dr. Nina leans forward slightly. “So which one are you here for today? Forgiveness… or fear?”
The words are harsher than I expected.
“I’m here,” I say carefully, “because I don’t trust that I’m done being angry.”
Jess goes still beside me.
“I love her,” I continue. “That part’s easy. But sometimes it still hits me. The images. The fact that she let me apologize while hiding something this big.”
I swallow.
“And I don’t want to wake up a year from now more angry than ever.”
Dr. Nina nods once.
“That,” she says calmly, “is a man who understands delayed resentment.”
Jess exhales shakily.
“I don’t want you swallowing it,” she says quietly.
Dr. Nina looks at her. “What do you want?”
Jess hesitates.
“I want him to tell me when it hurts,” she says. “Even if it’s ugly or repetitive. I’d rather hear it than have him withdraw.”
Nina’s eyes move back to me.
“Can you do that?”
I think about it.
“How does that even work?” I ask finally.
“Am I supposed to bring it up every time it pops into my head? Am I supposed to yell when we’re fighting about dishes and suddenly I remember she slept with someone else?
” I shake my head. “We’ve got two kids. Two dogs.
A company. Life doesn’t exactly pause so I can deal. ”
Nina nods calmly.
“You’re not meant to weaponize it,” she says. “And you’re not meant to suppress it either.”
“That sounds convenient,” I mutter.
“It’s structured,” she corrects. “There’s a difference.”
Jess shifts closer to me but stays quiet.
Nina continues, “When the thought surfaces, you identify it. You don’t explode. You don’t accuse. You don’t punish. You say something like: ‘I’m triggered right now.’”
I frown. “That sounds… stupid.”
“It’s clarity,” she replies. “You are separating the past event from the present argument.”
Jess nods slowly. “So if we’re fighting about schedules and it suddenly feels bigger than it should… we pause?”
“Yes,” Nina says. “Because what you’re actually fighting about isn’t the schedule. It’s safety.”
I lean back, jaw tight.
“And what happens when I say I’m triggered?” I ask.
Jess answers before Nina can.
“I don’t defend,” she says quietly. “I don’t say ‘that was a year ago.’ I don’t minimize it. I listen.”
Nina watches us carefully.
“And Logan,” she adds, “you don’t use it as leverage. You don’t say, ‘You owe me.’”
I exhale slowly.
“That’s the part I’m afraid of,” I admit. “I don’t want to become that guy. The one who brings it up every time he’s losing an argument.”
“That’s awareness,” Nina says. “That’s not weakness.”
Jess squeezes my hand.
“I’d rather hear you say you’re hurting,” she says softly, “than watch you disappear.”
“That won’t happen,” I say immediately.
Jess pulls her hand from mine.
She doesn’t move away, not really. She just twists on the couch to face me fully, one leg tucked under her, expression steady.
“You said you’re happy with the relationship you have with your dad,” she says quietly. “That you don’t need to revisit it.”
I frown slightly. “I am.”
“Are you?” she asks. “You barely see him. And when you do, it’s polite. Distant… cold.”
I stiffen. “That’s not-”
“It is,” she says gently. “There’s no anger. No affection. Just… neutrality.”
Dr. Nina doesn’t interrupt.
Jess keeps going.
“I don’t want that for us,” she says. “I don’t want cold or worse, polite. These past months, living like roommates… was horrible.”
Her voice trembles just slightly.
“I want you. All of you. Even the ugly parts.”
Something tight forms in my chest.
“You think I have a bad relationship with my dad?” I ask quietly.
Jess places her palm on my forearm.
“I have no right to judge,” she says quickly. “I haven’t spoken to either of my parents since we got married. Ok, but that also means that I know what passivity does to a relationship. It doesn’t explode. It just… erodes.”
“You say that like you’ve thought about it,” I mutter.
“I have,” she says firmly. “Believe me, the coffees I have with Claudia are not gossip sessions. No matter how much I try to make them that.” A faint smile flickers across her lips. “She makes me talk about myself. The bad parts. The parts I’d rather pretend don’t exist.”
Dr. Nina watches silently.
“I’m not saying I’m succeeding at therapy,” Jess continues, “but I’ve gotten better at being uncomfortable.”
I shift slightly.
“Are you trying to get me to go back to Dr. Brett?” I ask, irritation edging into my tone.
She shakes her head immediately.
“No. I know you can’t force someone to talk. And I would never try to force you.” She pauses. “But remember right before I told you about… everything? You said something had to change. Because I wasn’t being honest.”
My jaw tightens.
“Well,” she says gently, “you’re not being honest right now.”
“That’s not fair,” I say.
“Isn’t it?” she asks softly.
Dr. Nina finally speaks.
“Logan,” she says, calm and steady, “is there something you’re holding back in this room?”
I look at Jess. She’s watching me like I’m made of glass.
Exhaling slowly, I run a hand through my hair. “I love you,” I say carefully. “I do.”
Jess’s shoulders soften, just a fraction.
“But I’m not back to… where I was,” I continue. “Not yet.”
The air shifts.
“What does that mean?” she asks quietly.
“It means I’m choosing you,” I say. “Every day. On purpose. Not because it’s easy. Not because it feels like before. Because I want to rebuild it.”
I swallow.
“But the version of love I had before… the blind, effortless one? I’m not there yet.”
Jess’s eyes shine, but she doesn’t look away when she says, “I can live with that.”