26. Gabriel #2
“I do.” Alejandro stepped into the room and closed the door behind him. The soft click made my stomach drop, which was ridiculous. At least, I thought it was ridiculous and irrational until he said, “Passing time?”
There it was. He’d heard it. Good job, Gabriel.
I blew out a breath and dragged my hand through my hair. “You heard that.”
“Yeah. I did.”
“I didn’t mean it the way it sounded.”
Alejandro cocked his head and then began to slowly stalk the room, circling me like I was his prey. “How was it meant, then? I’m fascinated.”
Oh, he was pissed. But I’d used that before to my advantage.
My mind instantly conjured up pirate Alejandro and that hot day of role-play on the yacht, and I tried to shrug it off. “They were asking questions. Staff talks, and apparently we’re the hot topic of conversation. You know how that goes.”
“Yes, I do. Which is why I know exactly how fast a careless word travels.”
I stared at him, wondering if he was being serious right now. “Careless? You think I was being careless? I was trying not to make your life harder.”
“My life? So you were doing me a favor?”
“Uh, yes, your life. Everyone’s already watched one Valemont turn your name into a headline you didn’t ask for, and I’m not going to hand them another one because I couldn’t keep my mouth shut during a card game. I was trying to spare you the embarrassment.”
I figured he’d understand it then, where I was coming from, but I should’ve known better. Stubborn Alejandro wanted to come out to play.
“Embarrassment? You just told my staff there’s nothing between us. So, what? I’m just a fuck?”
“That’s not what I said.”
“No? Passing time very much sounds like nothing.”
I stepped in closer. “It sounded like protecting us.”
“There is no us, remember?”
It wasn’t a physical slap, but it sure as hell felt like one.
Alejandro’s dark eyes were flashing dangerously, his whole body tensed like he was on high alert, but he’d gotten this all wrong.
“I don’t know how you can say that after…
” I swallowed hard, not wanting to fight, but he wasn’t going to make this easy.
“I’ve spent weeks pretending I’m not looking for you in every room I walk into.
I’ve stayed in Solterra far longer than any obligation I had to be here.
I’ve let you see more of me than I show anyone, and you think there’s no us? ”
His jaw tightened, and I knew I should’ve stopped there, but I’d always been too mouthy for my own good.
“You want to know the truth?” I said, taking another step toward him. “Fine. The truth is, I didn’t know what to call us because I don’t know what we are. We weren’t ever supposed to be anything, that’s why we made the rules. No dates, no flowers, no jealousy, no falling in love, remember?”
“Don’t throw the rules at me like we didn’t both agree to them.”
“I know, but you’re acting like I broke something we never admitted existed.”
Alejandro went very still, and when the anger in his eyes sharpened into something colder, I realized what I was trying to say wasn’t coming out the right way at all.
“Then let’s not pretend,” he said. “Nothing exists.”
His words landed like a bomb between us, and for a long time I couldn’t speak. It was whiplash, going from one extreme to another, the high of last night morphing into something ugly before I’d had a chance to blink.
Pain sliced through me, sharp and unexpected, and it must’ve shown on my face because a flicker of regret passed through Alejandro’s expression.
But before either of us could say anything, there was a knock on the door, and Alejandro closed his eyes briefly before saying, “What?”
Elena stuck her head inside, a tablet pressed to her chest. “Forgive me, Your Highnesses, but the communications office needs guidance on how you’d like to proceed with what we discussed earlier.”
His entire demeanor changed then, as he stepped into his role as the crown prince. “Draft a statement about the arts initiative but keep the focus on the alliance and the academy.”
Elena nodded, then glanced between us. “And regarding the personal speculation?”
Alejandro looked at me. I didn’t know what I expected—certainly not a declaration of wanting more, with Elena standing right there—but I hoped something I’d said had penetrated his stubborn skull.
That maybe when asked the same question the staff had thrown at me he’d understand why I’d said what I said.
Instead, Alejandro tore his gaze away from me and said, “There is no personal speculation to address. Prince Gabriel and I are not together. We are not romantically involved, and there are no feelings between us that concern either the palace or anyone outside of it.”
The sound of blood rushing through my ears was all I could hear as Elena made her notes and slipped back out quietly.
No feelings? He’d said it so easily, and it made something crack wide open in my chest. I forced a small chuckle, because if I didn’t, I had no idea what would come out instead.
“Well,” I said, “you effectively shut that down.”
“You did it first. You were the one who said we weren’t together. That you were only here for diplomacy.”
“You’re right. I did.” I kept my smile plastered on my face to hide the sick feeling in the pit of my stomach.
“Don’t do that.”
“Do what?”
“Smile instead of showing what you’re actually feeling.”
I scoffed. “Careful, Alejandro. That almost sounded like you knew me.”
“I do know you.”
“No, you don’t.” My words came out harsher than I’d meant them to, but fuck him.
“You know the parts I’ve been stupid enough to give you because you looked at me like maybe, maybe you wanted them.
But you don’t get to stand there and tell Elena there are no feelings and then expect me to believe you know me at all. ”
“And what should I have said?” He took a threatening step toward me. “That yes, there are feelings? That the Crown Prince of Solterra has lost his mind over the brother of the man who made him a public joke? Should I have given them that? Given you that? After you said we were just ‘passing time’?”
I didn’t know how I was still standing upright as he gave me exactly what I should’ve known was holding him back all this time. It wasn’t anger—it was fear.
I shook my head. “Do you really think I’d do that to you?”
“I think you’re a Valemont.” The words came out so quickly I didn’t think they even registered before he said them—at least, I hoped not, because wow.
My smile fell, and I gave a clipped nod. “Right. Of course.”
“Gabriel—”
“No, that was good. Honest, at least.” I turned my back on him and ran a hand over my face. “That’s what this is, then. Nicholas hurt you, the world laughed, and now I’m guilty by bloodline. Got it.”
“You think this is easy for me?”
I spun around. “I think you want to punish me for something I didn’t do because punishing Nicholas is out of the question now that he’s apologized.”
“Christ, that’s not what this is.”
“Then what is it? Tell me, please.”
Alejandro’s mouth snapped shut, and I let out a humorless laugh.
“Would you look at that. The great Alejandro de la Vega—he can terrify with a word, but ask him what he’s feeling and suddenly he goes quiet.”
“Don’t fucking lecture me about feelings when I’m just a way for you to pass time.”
“Because I didn’t think you’d ever want to be more than that,” I exploded, the words ripping out of me before I could stop them.
Alejandro froze, and I had to look away so I didn’t have to stare at him anymore.
“I know how this works,” I said. “I’m fun. I’m the good time. You wanted a distraction, and God knows I’m excellent at that.”
“Says the man who made every single one of our interludes a game.”
“A game you enjoyed—don’t act like I made you. You might be able to pretend you don’t have feelings for me, but you sure as hell wanted me.”
“You’re impossible. If you wanted more, why didn’t you say something?”
“Because of this reaction right here, kitten. You’ve been judging me as Nicholas’s brother from the second I showed up. What in the world would make me think if I laid my heart at your feet you’d see me—Gabriel?”
“Because that’s what you were showing me? Your heart? You’ve been playing games with me from the second you set foot on Solterra soil. Why would I ever trust a word out of your mouth?”
A disgusted laugh left me as Alejandro’s words played over and over in my head. Because that was what this came down to—trust, something neither of us had in the other, so what the hell was I standing here fighting with him about?
“Fine. You win,” I said.
“I win?”
“Yes.” I stepped up to him, so close I could see his eyes flash fire. “The game. Or games. You win them all. I’m done. I’ll be gone by morning.”
“Good. You know your way out.” Alejandro’s chest rose and fell as he stared me down, stubborn to the very end. But if I was expecting him to bend first, I knew I’d be waiting a hell of a long time. Probably for-fucking-ever.
I stalked past him toward the door, refusing to beg, but at the last second stopped and looked back at the proud, rigid spine of the pigheaded bastard who couldn’t pull his head out of his ass—then I slammed the door shut on us forever.