28. Alejandro
ALEJANDRO
“FINE. YOU WIN. The game. Or games. You win them all. I’m done. I’ll be gone by morning.”
I’d let Gabriel go. No, worse than that—I’d told him he knew his way out.
There were many things I regretted in my life, but nothing had unsettled me more than that door slamming.
The sound echoed in my ears, following me wherever I went. Into meetings. In the shower. When I lay in bed at night. Gabriel followed me everywhere.
The worst part about it, though? I didn’t want his ghost to leave me, because at least I had some small part of him still here, even if it was pissed off. Even if he hated me.
I took in a deep breath and opened my eyes, seeing all of Solterra laid out before me from where I sat on the rooftop terrace.
Had I ventured up there to clear my mind?
Of course not. I’d come up here to torture myself more, to remember the first time Gabriel had intruded on my peace of mind and I’d tricked him into eating peppers.
It was also the place we’d first kissed, and that was the memory I tried to go back to like I could erase all the stupid things I’d said and done since then.
“There you are.” My mother’s voice drifted across the wind as she joined me, sitting down in the lounger next to mine. The soft layers of her bright blue dress billowed around her as the wind kicked up briefly before settling back down to a light breeze.
Blue…of course. The shade she wore reminded me of Gabriel’s eyes. It’d been too many days since I’d seen them, and I hated that the last time was when he’d been looking at me with nothing but disappointment and anger.
I was a coward.
“You found me,” I said flatly, looking back out at the tops of the buildings in the distance that glinted gold under the fading sun.
“That’s not the welcome home I was hoping for.” Her voice was light and teasing, but I didn’t have the energy to appease her. Out of the corner of my eye I saw her mouth turn down. “I thought things were going well. The last time we talked, you went to find him…”
“Oh, I found him.”
“And?”
I looked around the empty rooftop. “Well, he’s not here anymore, is he?”
“Was that his choice or yours?”
“His,” I said, wanting to throw all the blame on Gabriel, but Mother arched a brow and I sighed. “I didn’t exactly tell him not to go.”
“Was this after you told him how you felt?” When I didn’t say anything, she shifted toward me, her voice dropping to the no-nonsense queen tone she used when she’d had enough playing nice. “Alejandro.”
My name in that tone never boded well when I was younger, and it didn’t bode well now if I didn’t give her what she wanted.
“I didn’t get a chance to tell him. When I found him, he was busy telling our staff how uninterested he was in being in a relationship with me.”
Her eyes widened, though whether it was at the mention of Gabriel’s gossiping with staff or the result, I didn’t know. Probably both.
“You heard him say such a thing?” She shook her head as if she couldn’t believe that.
“Why so surprised? He’s a Valemont. Of course he was going to screw me over.” As soon as the words were out of my mouth I knew they were wrong, but I couldn’t seem to stop myself. “He said we were nothing, so there you go. That’s the answer. We’re nothing.”
My mother was shaking her head, but it didn’t matter that she couldn’t wrap her mind around it. Facts were facts. Gabriel was gone, whatever we’d had was over, and that was just the way it was going to be.
It was a good thing I hadn’t eaten today, or I had a feeling it all would’ve come back up then.
How the hell had I gotten into this mess? We’d had rules. We were on the same page…until we weren’t.
“I’m sorry to hear that,” Mother finally said. “I know you cared about him. And I truly thought he felt the same way. He—” She stopped and shook her head again, reaching over to put her hand over mine.
“He what?”
“It doesn’t matter now.”
“Tell me.”
“I just saw the way he was around you, and my God, I’ve never seen someone so enamored before. Well, not since your father.” She gave a soft smile, but it quickly fell. “Is there any way you misheard? I just can’t imagine—”
“I know what I heard. I can recite it to you verbatim if you wish.”
“No, no. There’s no need for that. I’m just sad to hear how it all ended. You were such a good match. Much better than you and Nicholas.”
I snorted. The plant sitting next to me would’ve been a better match than Nicholas, so that wasn’t saying much. But then I thought back to the way Gabriel had met every dare, every challenge I laid out for him with the same passion he did everything else—me included.
He’d taken every preconceived idea I had about too-cold Valorian charm and turned it on its head, because Gabriel had been anything but cold.
He’d been fiery hot, passionate, and so damn sexy it’d thrown me completely for a loop.
So much so, my lust had blinded me to the deeper feelings forming beneath the surface.
Now every time I went for a swim in the pool off my chambers, or looked down at the yacht where it was docked near the Sea Gate, or I watched a storm roll in off the sea—all I could think about was Gabriel’s hands, lips, and body on mine.
“We were about as compatible as fire and gasoline, Mother.”
“I know. It was like watching two live wires dancing around each other. That’s why it pains me to hear you’re no longer.”
“Not everyone can have a fairytale ending.”
“No. I don’t suppose they can.” She looked out over the terrace, the breeze blowing gently in her hair. “You are both still on board with the art initiative that was set up, right?”
“Of course. I wouldn’t abandon the kids because of some falling-out I had.”
“I’m glad to hear it. They’re counting on you, and I still think it’s important for the kingdoms to show a united front.”
“I know.” And I did. But that didn’t mean I was happy about it. The idea of seeing Gabriel—or anyone from Valoria—wasn’t exactly high on my to-do list. But I’d made a promise to Nicholas and I wasn’t about to back out now. “The art initiative is going forward as it was originally intended.”
“And you’ll be able to work with Gabriel?”
No. “Yes. I’m not about to let another Valemont uproot my life again. I’ve wanted a program like this for the children for a long time now.”
“It sounded like Gabriel has too.”
I didn’t want to think about that, because if I did, it made my heart soften toward him. It made me miss the way he’d charmed the children and proclaimed himself Prince Handsomelot, and that was the last thing I needed to be thinking about.
He was gone.
His choice.
My regret.
“I’m not concerned with that,” I said, and got up to walk to the rail. “I just want to make sure Solterra’s children have the best opportunities they possibly can. If that means stomaching a day of false friendliness and fake smiles, then I can manage that. I’ve done it before.”
The wind whipped up then, the breeze wrapping around me as the salt air filled my lungs, and I closed my eyes, soaking it in. I needed to remember how much I loved it here. Solterra was in my blood, the soil rich with cultural history.
Wasn’t I the one who’d told Gabriel that?
It was beautiful before him and was beautiful now, and it was time to stop acting like he was what had made it what it was. I was Crown Prince Alejandro de la Vega, and I would go to Valoria when the time came and hold my head high.
“You are a true ambassador for those children,” Mother said as she came to stand beside me. “You make me very proud.”
“Even though no one wants me?”
“That would be their loss, but”—she reached out and slipped her hand over mine—“maybe they weren’t given the chance.”
I shook my head, raised her hand to my mouth, and kissed the back of it. “Your perpetual optimism in the face of such proof is admirable.”
She turned her hand and cradled my cheek, then stepped in close and smiled. “And your lack of foresight in matters of the heart is amusing.”
She couldn’t still be talking about me and Gabriel. But before I could tell her she was delusional, she kissed my cheek.
“Stay open to possibilities, carino. Life is too precious to be so shortsighted.”
She let me go and headed for the doors, and just before she disappeared inside she called out, “Don’t forget, your father is expecting you for dinner.”
Right. Couldn’t wait. “I’ll be there.”
As she left me alone to my thoughts, I tried not to let her words penetrate into my mind. What good would that do? Staying open to possibilities? This was already a fool-me-twice scenario, and I wasn’t about to strike out by putting myself out there a third time.
Gabriel had made the choice to walk away, and I should respect it.
That didn’t mean I had to like it.