Chapter 13 Human
Human
A sharp pain stabbed Valerius in the center of his chest the moment that Raziel and Caden flew out of the lair.
He sank to his knees as the strength left him like sand out of a punctured doll.
And the presence he had felt with him for so long, that was a part of him, was no longer there.
Like a child, he wanted to weep and scream and thrash.
Raziel was gone!
RAZIEL WAS GONE!
He clamped his jaw shut and he closed his eyelids tightly. He had to control himself. If he were to fall apart now that would only confirm for Raziel that it had been wrong to leave to save Iolaire. Except it had not been wrong.
This is what it will be like if the Behemoth is not stopped and Iolaire and Raziel are taken over, Valerius realized with a sickening lurch.
That did not end the urge to scream though. That just made him want to scream more. He wanted to shout out his agony, his loss, his need. He had appeared as calm as he could to Raziel and Caden. He was glad of that. Because if he had let any of this show before they had left-
Raziel left me!
RAZIEL LEFT!
No, no, Raziel is still with me. There is no hole in my soul. There is no...
“What is the matter, Valerius?” Illarion cried, dropping to his haunches, eyes wide.
He grasped Valerius’ shoulders and shook him when Valerius didn’t respond right away. In truth, Valerius couldn’t have responded. The scream would have left him. But somehow he managed to control himself.
“Shhhhh, she’ll hear you,” Valerius gritted out and tipped his head towards the mouth of the tunnel and the pool beyond.
He swallowed hard. The scream would not leak out. In comparison to Illarion’s loud words, his would be like the clanging of a bell in comparison. Vozyth would know they were there.
“She? This Dragon has a gender?” Illarion actually brightened at the thought of a female Dragon, which Valerius found ridiculous, but he didn’t say that.
“Evidently. Caden called her the Mistress of Plasma, but that hardly matters if she’s male, female, both or neither when she blasts us because you’re talking too loud,” Valerius growled.
“All right, all right, it’s just you’re on your knees and there’s a lady Dragon waiting to kill us,” Illarion said, lifting his hands up in surrender. “It’s all very exciting.”
Valerius’ eyes widened but then he left out a huff of laughter. “Clearly, you need to get out more if the idea of getting killed excites you. But I’m the only one who could really die here, Illarion.”
The lair still held the humans who were poking around at the “mirror”, but the two people he wanted there--needed there--were not.
Caden and Raziel were on their way to face the Behemoth.
There was another stab of pain, but this time it was not generalized in his chest, but directly in his heart.
He had never hurt this much in a long time.
It was just getting used to a body that had no superior healing abilities, among other things.
“What do you mean?” Illarion asked, acting as if the whole previous conversation had not taken place. “I know you can’t shift but--”
“I wasn’t exaggerating about my helplessness, Illarion. Raziel had to leave its lair to go after the Behemoth with Caden. Without Raziel there I am human for all intents and purposes,” Valerius told him.
Illarion blinked. “You’re serious!”
“Of course, I am--”
“I thought you were doing another of those bonding things where you complimented me and then took care of things mostly yourself,” Illarion admitted with a shrug of his shoulders. “Not that I mind. I get all the reflected glory and you do the work.”
Valerius’ eyebrows rose. “Ah, no, Illarion, I meant those things before and I truly mean them now. Caden and I are counting on you and Mephous. You are our only hope.”
Illarion stared at him. “Save me, Illarion Kenobi, you are--”
Valerius hit his chest, but then grimaced as his hand hurt. “Don’t be an idiot. I’m serious.”
Illarion stared down at Valerius’ hand. “That was like a kitten bat. You’re really weak!”
“Keep it down, and yes, how many times do I have to tell you that?” Valerius’ temper was threatening to unwind. He hated having to repeat himself and he really hated having to repeat himself when the topic was how weak and useless he was without Raziel.
Old friend, please bring Caden, Iolaire and yourself safely home, Valerius found himself praying.
Illarion’s brow furrowed deeply. “Let me get this straight, if our Dragon Spirits leave their lairs we lose our powers?”
“Evidently.” Valerius slowly rose to his feet, putting one hand against the wall to help him keep upright.
“So Mephous is trapped in a cave unless I shift and let him out here?” Illarion asked.
Valerius was going to remark about Illarion now making Mephous “male”. But he was struck more by the rest of what Illarion had said and how he had said it and the word he’d used. Trapped.
Raziel cannot leave the lair.
Raziel has been there for centuries.
Millennia.
And has never said, never complained, not since the beginning when we fought for control…
His stomach knotted up and his heart clenched. These sensations left him feeling nauseous. He remembered the fights that had in the beginning. How Raziel would wrest control of their human form and shift into their Dragon one for months, at first, before he could regain control.
But, of course, Raziel did, Valerius realized with another sickening lurch. Raziel was imprisoned by our joining. If I did not let Raziel out, then Raziel was trapped inside a small, stone room…
Dragons were creatures of the air. They needed broad vistas. They had to be free to feel the wind under their wings. But in the lair, Raziel could hardly stretch its wings fully out, let alone fly.
“I suppose that’s true. I find it disturbing, too. I did not know... until now,” Valerius answered, still feeling as if he might vomit.
He had not truly allowed himself to think about Raziel leaving the lair meant leaving him which meant that Raziel never left the lair otherwise.
Never flew except when Valerius allowed the shift.
Never hunted except when Valerius agreed to it.
Never simply was in its natural form except when Valerius wanted to as well. Raziel was trapped.
Imprisoned.
“Why would Mephous not tell me and Raziel not tell you about this?” Illarion asked, those furrows going deeper until they looked carved into his forehead. “We are one. Mephous and I. He would know I would…”
“Object?” Valerius let out a sad laugh. “That is why Mephous and Raziel did not say anything to us. Because they knew how we would react to it. And likely there is nothing to be done or otherwise they would have done it by now.”
“Nothing? We could… there must… the other thing… and then…”
“Exactly,” Valerius answered Illarion’s stammering. “At least, nothing we can do about their circumstances in the Spirit Realm, but here…”
“Here.” Illarion looked determined and grim. “Here, we can do something.”
“Yes.”
Valerius thought of how happy Raziel was now that Iolaire was there as well, though it reduced the amount of space the Black Dragon Spirit had. But the loneliness was gone. Iolaire and Raziel had each other and Valerius and Caden.
But what about the other Dragon Spirits? They are trapped alone in their stone prisons without anyone but their human to speak with.
“If bonding with a human causes the Spirit to be trapped in a cave I can understand why the Behemoth is so against it,” Illarion spat suddenly. “That is a powerful offer to make to allies!”
Valerius frowned. Without a human to negotiate with in terms of a body, the Spirit could roam without fear of disturbing the bond in the Spirit Realm, but also it could come into the human one without any limitations, too.
No one would stop them from shifting and then doing whatever they liked whenever they wanted.
What Spirit wouldn’t accept the Behemoth’s offer to join it with that as the prize?
“You’re right. But the Behemoth doesn’t intend to open the human world to the other Spirits. I think it just intends to destroy it,” Valerius said.
“Maybe. Or maybe just destroy the way things are.”
“Send every human soul to the Spirit Realm and enjoy the benefits of the material and immaterial for themselves.”
“Like I said: it’s a powerful inducement.” Illarion shook his head.
“There have got to be Spirits that would not agree to this--”
“Perhaps a few. Powerless and pathetic.” Illarion snorted. “Mephous loves me. We are one. But if he had been offered a way to this realm before he met me? He would have taken it, no questions asked.”
Would Raziel have done so? If they had not met or, more likely, before they had come to care for one another, would the great Black Dragon Spirit have bowed to a lowly human?
No, and who could blame Raziel for that? Not me.
“We must not let the Behemoth get more of a foothold in this world, Illarion. It must be stopped now,” Valerius said.
“Oh, I agree! I mostly like the world as it is with us ruling it and lots of people… well, maybe I don’t like the people but without them the dogs would not have it as good,” Illarion stated.
“Don’t worry, Illarion, we will get you back to your doggies in all good time,” Valerius promised.
“Dogs are loyal and they don’t judge.” Illarion stared at the wall.
“I understand. But my judgment tells me that I can count on you,” Valerius assured him.
Illarion gave a brief nod.
If Valerius hadn’t already been anxious to find Caden’s body, now he was triply so. But while the prudent part would be to have Illarion take out Vozyth and wait for the other Dragon Shifters to find them and then go get Caden’s body, he knew in his bones that they didn’t have that kind of time.
“We cannot linger here any longer. Once Caden and Raziel attack the Behemoth, those human drones will kill Caden’s body,“ Valerius said.
“Right. So what is the plan?” Illarion asked.
Valerius blinked at him. “You want a plan?”